Four years later…

“You can’t avoid them forever.” Becca pours vodka into the copper drink mixer.

“I’m not avoiding them.” Binx twists around my ankles, purring and trying to butter me up to give him more food. “I’m avoiding the town.”

“What’s wrong with the town?” Liam takes the bottle of grenadine Becca’s struggling to open and twists the lid with ease. “I thought you said it was nice.”

“It is nice.” Becca dumps in the syrup without measuring. “It’s who’s in the town she’s avoiding.” Her eyebrows go up and she puts the lid on the mixer.

“Oh.” Liam gets three cocktail glasses from the cabinet and zeroes in on me, interest piqued. “This is about him isn’t it? Your ex?”

I pick up Binx. “Not entirely. My time in Dale Hollow wasn’t the best and going back will bring up a lot of memories.”

“Of your ex?” Liam purses his lips. “You guys are so secretive about him. It makes me want to know details.”

“There’s not much to tell.” I sit on the couch, stroking Binx’s sleek fur, which is streaked with gray. “He was my first love, first guy I slept with…you get it. And then he broke up with me out of nowhere.”

“Sounds like an asshole.” It’s the thing Liam is supposed to say, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. And as much as I wish I could hate Jack, I can’t. He’s not an asshole. He has his own issues, and for years I tried to figure them out, to see what I was missing to make him tell me he doesn’t love me anymore.

Becca pours our drinks, adding only a splash of alcohol to mine. She knows the real reason I don’t like to drink, and she’s quick to defend me to our friends who like to call out how lame I am.

Liam sips the cocktail. “This is good, Becs. Sweet, but good.”

“Thanks. It’s my specialty.” Becca sits on the couch next to me, reaching for Binx. He jumps away. “Traitor. Don’t forget who took care of you for three years.”

“I don’t see the issue about going home though.” Liam peers over the top of his glass at me. “That was four years ago.”

“It took Nora a while to get over it,” Becca says softly. Other than Stephanie, she’s the only person who knows just how much Jack meant to me. And how much I thought I meant to him. I’ve been friends with Liam since the middle of my sophomore year, and he knows most of my history. But not all.

“First loves are bitches like that.” Liam shakes his head and takes a drink. “You know the best way to get over your ex is to sleep with his best friend. It worked for me.”

Jack’s best friend is dead.

“And how’s that working out for you?” Becca asks dryly.

“He turned out to be a manipulative asshole, but it got me over David. And under Paul.”

Becca drains her drink. “You’re an even bigger man whore than me.”

“That’s saying something.” Liam raises his glass. “But back to our Nora here…go home, honey. Take a break for once. And if you see your no-good ex, act like it takes you a minute to recall who he is. Your life is so fabulous you don’t have time for past drama.”

“He might not be there anymore.” Becca picks up the remote and turns on the TV. “It would be a total crisis averted and you’ll get some relaxing time with the people who are technically your parents and have been begging you to come home the moment you stepped foot on campus.”

“I know.” I tuck my legs under myself and sip my drink. I do feel bad for coming up with reasons not to go back to Dale Hollow for the summer over the last four years. Most were legitimate reasons, like studying abroad freshman year, taking summer classes, and then working through the summers to help pay for the apartment Becca and I got together.

I have no excuse now since I graduated a few days ago. Stephanie and Doug were here for the ceremony, of course, but could only stay for the weekend since they had work. Stephanie and I have become very close, talking nearly every day. She gave me the space I needed after Jack broke my heart and knew coming back to Dale Hollow would be hard.

Then I started my second year here and everyone expected me to be over the heartache. He was my high school boyfriend, after all. It wasn’t real love or anything. I was much too young to know what actual heartbreak felt like.

I worried as much as I hurt. Something had to happen to Jack, I was sure of it. Without me, did his flashbacks come back? Was he able to sleep through the night? Why wouldn’t he call me back when I tried to see if he was okay?

Maybe I gave myself too much credit.

Maybe nothing happened.

Maybe Jack really did stop loving me.

“Text her back,” Becca tells me. “And tell her you’ll pack your bag in the morning.”

“I will.”

Becca grabs my phone from the coffee table. “Now.”

“Fine.”

She stares at me. “I mean it. Now. Or you’ll chicken out.”

I unlock my phone and open Stephanie’s text from earlier, asking me if I made up my mind about coming home yet. Becca peers over my shoulder, making sure I write out an actual response. She knows me too well.

* * *

I close my eyes, listening to the click of my turn signal. Everything looks exactly the same as the day I left Dale Hollow. Taking a breath, I open my eyes and watch for the traffic light to turn green.

Crystal by Stevie Nicks comes on the radio as I turn onto Crescent Street, like some sort of sick joke played by the universe. I shut the music off altogether and slow in front of the Kellers’ house. My house. It stopped feeling like home the day Jack looked me in the eye and told me he didn’t love me.

My eyes immediately go to the Harringtons’ house. The Jeep isn’t parked out front, and I don’t see Charlie running around the yard. Maybe Jack has moved on.

Wherever he is, I hope he’s happy.

Stephanie runs out of the house the second I put the Prius in park. I smile when I see her, momentarily letting go of my heartache.

“Welcome home.” She throws her arms around me, squeezing me in a tight hug. “How was the drive?”

“Long, but all right. Traffic wasn’t that bad, actually.”

“That’s good. Are you hungry? Doug’s on his way home now. If you’re not too tired I thought we could go to Jimmy’s.”

“Is it still the cool hangout?”

“It’ll always be the cool hangout.”

“Then yeah, let’s go. A cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry milkshake sound good right now.”

Stephanie beams and opens the back hatch. We take my suitcases inside, and the moment I walk through the front door, I’m hit with a sense of familiarity. I’ve been home for Thanksgiving and Christmas a few times in the last four years, but it’s always quick trips, and always on the years the Harringtons go out of town for the holidays. Doug picks me up at the airport, takes me home, and I’m gone again as soon as possible. I plan my flights to arrive at night and leave early in the morning, making it almost as if I’m not really here. This is the first time I drove all the way from school and am staying for more than three days.

A large framed photo of Stephanie, Doug, and I at graduation hangs in the living room. I’m smiling in the photo and look happy. And I was. I am. It might have taken me years to get over Jack—if I’m even over it at all—but my life is good, and I’ve made the most of what I’d been given.

“I’m going to change,” I tell Stephanie, and lug my suitcase up the stairs. My old room has housed a few kids over the last four years. It’s relatively the same, with a new bedspread and a few new nicks in the walls. I take off my leggings and T-shirt, trading it for a short blue dress and heels. I comb my messy hair and put on makeup, then go downstairs to talk to Stephanie.

Even though I saw her only weeks ago at graduation, she fills me in on everything going on in the town but doesn’t say anything about our next-door neighbors. Maybe nothing is going on with them. Maybe she doesn’t bring it up on purpose.

I don’t ask. I don’t want to know, even though I do.

I lean back on the couch and yawn. Stephanie worries I’m tired—and I am from the eight-hour drive—and insists we order takeout from Jimmy’s instead and have Doug pick it up on the way home. I think that sounds like a great idea.

I forgot how much I missed eating together as a family, even when it is diner food brought home in doggie bags. Our old routine kicks in without anyone prompting it. Stephanie and I clear the table and we all retire to the living room, looking through Netflix for something to watch.

Around midnight, Stephanie turns off the TV, ending our streak of binging Sons of Anarchy, and says we should go to bed. I shower and put on PJs, getting into the small twin bed. I’m tired but know sleep won’t come easily tonight. Deciding not to get frustrated by tossing and turning all night, I open a book on my Kindle and read until I fall asleep.

Jack haunts my dreams. I wake at dawn, unsure of exactly how the dream unfolded, but craving the feel of his lips against mine. I pull the blankets over my head and try to go back to sleep. It’s been four years. Four fucking years. I should be over this by now. I shouldn’t remember the way he tastes. The way he feels. The way he smells. I shouldn’t remember every little thing. What the hell is wrong with me?

Giving up on sleep, I get up and head downstairs to make coffee.

“Morning, hun,” Stephanie says when she walks into the kitchen about half an hour later. “Have you been up for a while?”

“Yeah. It’s a habit from school, I guess.” I force a smile and pour myself a second cup of coffee.

“It must feel so good to be done now, right?”

“Oh, for sure. But now the fun part comes where I get to find a full-time job.”

Stephanie laughs and gets herself coffee as well. “Did you hear anything more from the place you interned at this spring?”

“Jeff—my boss—loved me. He said he’d hire me in a heartbeat if anything opens up. But I can apply to be an intern again.”

“And do the same thing but get paid a hell of a lot less,” Stephanie says, shaking her head.

“Pretty much. I do like that company though. And I was thinking maybe I should get my master’s sooner than later anyway. It could help in the long run. So being an intern with fewer hours—and less responsibility—would be a good thing.”

“That is a smart idea, and I agree with getting your degree now. It’s hard to go back once you’ve taken time off.”

I grab creamer from the fridge and take it to my mug of coffee. “And I plan to apply to start in the spring, so I can put in more hours at the coffee shop before starting class again.”

“Or you could move back here and save money on rent,” Stephanie suggests casually. “I saw a ‘now hiring’ sign at Starbucks just the other day, so if you wanted to keep working, you could.” She takes the creamer from me and shrugs. “Just a thought. I know how expensive it is to live in that area.”

“Yeah,” I say and bring my coffee to my lips. It would be a good idea, and Becca’s been hinting that she wants to go back to L.A. and try her hand at acting again. Over the last four years, she’s gone back and forth from acting, going to cosmetology school, and wanting to be a first-grade teacher. “The cost of living is lower here, that’s for sure.”

“And it would be nice to have you around before you get a job God knows where and take off halfway across the country.”

“I’m staying somewhere warm, don’t worry. I won’t end up on the east coast or anything.”

“Speaking of warm, do you want to go to the farmers’ market with me before it gets too hot out? It’s going to be a brutal summer.”

“Yeah, I’d like to go. Is that booth with the cinnamon rolls still there?”

“It’s the most popular one.”

“I’ll get ready then.”

Stephanie yawns. “Take your time, dear. I’m in no rush.”

I take my coffee upstairs with me, drinking it as I curl my hair and put on makeup. Wishing I packed more, I sort through my clothes and settle on a multicolored floral skirt and a black crop top, changing out of the loungewear I’d put on earlier.

We walk the few blocks it takes to get to Dale Hollow’s downtown square and go straight for the cinnamon rolls. I go over to a stand with fresh flowers while Stephanie talks to one of Doug’s co-workers. I spot a bouquet of yellow lilies, heart softening. Only Jack knows the significance of the lilies.

“Nora? Is that you?”

I hesitate, not recognizing the voice.

“It’s me, Alice.”

Turning, I see Alice Bloom’s smiling face. She’s put on a bit of weight since our senior year, and her long blonde hair is now short and brown. “It is you! We weren’t sure.” Her smile is genuine, and she looks me up and down. “You look amazing! You went back to L.A., didn’t you? You look like you came from L.A.”

“No, I didn’t go back. It’s, uh, nice to see you again.”

Alice waves her hand in the air. “You don’t have to pretend. I was terrible to you in high school and I’m sorry.”

I’m taken aback by her words and don’t quite know what to say in response. “It was a long time ago, but thanks.”

“Apologizing to you has been on my list for a while now, but I never knew how to get ahold of you. We all thought you went back to Hollywood.” She turns, waving over to girls who are hiding behind a display of melons. “Nancy! Veronica! We were right. It is Nora!”

Nancy steps around the stand and greets me with a smile. Veronica apprehensively follows behind. I lost touch with Veronica before our senior year was even over. I stopped going over to her house. I stopped hanging out with her after school. Eventually, we stopped talking altogether.

“Hey, Nora.” She’s never been good at hiding her emotions, and right now she looks as uncomfortable as I feel. “You look great.”

“Thanks. So do you.”

“How have you been?” She pulls her arms in over her chest. Alice notices the flowers behind me and points to a bunch of roses, saying something to Nancy.

“Good. You?”

“Good too.” She smiles again, then rolls her eyes. “What are we doing? This is awkward as fuck.”

“Yeah,” I agree with a laugh. “It is.”

Veronica steps forward and hugs me. “It’s good to see you, Nora. I’ve missed you. Really.”

“I missed you too,” I tell her. And I have.

“I’m guessing you graduated,” Veronica starts, readjusting her purse over her shoulder. “Does that mean you’re moving back here?”

“I did, and no. I’m back for a while before I start my master’s.”

“You did go to Berkeley, right?”

“Yeah. I have a degree in civil engineering. What about you?”

“I have one year left at GU. I switched my major to nursing.”

“You’d make a good nurse.”

“I hope so,” she says with a laugh. “I am so ready to be done with school. Props to you for going back for your master’s right away.”

Alice and Nancy join us, and Alice is holding the yellow lilies I wanted. “Sorry,” she says and brings the lilies to her face. “I’m a sucker for these. My fiancé always gets them for me. We’re getting married in June.”

“Congrats,” I tell her, eyeballing the little flower stand behind her. There are no more lilies left.

“You should come to my bachelorette party!” Alice’s eyes widen with excitement. “It’s Saturday and it would be so fun to have you!”

“Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. Stephanie and I have plans. I’m not in town very long anyway.”

“If you change your mind, I’d love to have you.” She looks at Veronica, beaming. “We’d love to have you. We’re going to be family soon, after all.”

The smile on Veronica’s face is one of the fakest I’ve seen. “I planned the whole thing,” she says, fake smile still plastered on her face. “It should be fun.”

Alice brings the lilies to her nose once more, and my mind whirls, trying to piece I together. “Think about it,” Alice goes on. “The more, the merrier to help celebrate me becoming Mrs. Alice Harrington!”