There’s still over two hours left of the dance, but Jack and I are already leaving. Having skipped dinner, we’re hungry. Jack takes off his jacket before we get to the lobby and drapes it over my shoulders. He opens the door for me, and I stop, inhaling sharply.

“Oh my God. It’s beautiful.” There’s a thin layer of snow covering the parking lot and clinging to the trees.

“Wait until you see the mountains. It’s ten times better than this.”

Big snowflakes slowly float down. I step into the cold air and hold out my hand. “It’s like we’re in a snow globe.”

Jack grins, and his eyes glimmer in the yellow light reflecting off the snow. “I want to show you something.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise. You have to wait.” He grabs me by the waist and kisses me, then picks me up.

“What are you doing?”

“You don’t want to walk through snow in those shoes, trust me.”

I hold onto his neck. “Good point. Open-toed shoes in the rain is bad enough.”

He carries me to the Jeep, pretending to slip and making me laugh—and cling to him tighter. We eat at Jimmy’s and then take off again, going on whatever adventure Jack has in mind. The snow is still coming down, and I can’t stop staring. I’ve seen snow before, and I’ve been through some pretty cold days in L.A., but there’s something about tonight that makes everything magical.

Jack doesn’t tell me where we’re going. He puts his hand on my thigh, and I watch the snow-covered landscape pass us by. We turn off the road that leads to the lake, but we don’t stop there. Jack keeps driving, and I get a little nervous the Jeep might slip on the slick roads as we go uphill, not stopping until we’re pulled over on a small patch of snowy gravel.

“I know it’s cold,” he starts and shuts off the Jeep. “It’ll only take a minute. The snow here is much better than the snow in the school parking lot.” He gets out and comes around, dragging his foot along the ground to clear a path for me to follow.

The air is shockingly cold up here. My breath leaves, forming a cloud around me. I stare down the mountain, heart in my throat.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Jack moves behind me, taking me in his arms. The warmth of his body feels good against me. We’re high above the lake, and I watch snowflakes slowly float down, disappearing the moment they kiss the water. The world has gone silent, and if it wasn’t for the cold, I could stay here all night. I lean back into Jack’s arms. The wind picks up and blows snow in my face.

“Are you getting cold?” Jack runs his hands down my arms.

“A little.”

“We should go.”

“Yeah.

Neither of us moves though, and we stay there for another few minutes, admiring the beauty in nature. We’re both cold when we get back into the Jeep, and I hold my hands up to the heater vents to warm my fingers.

Christmas lights reflect off the snow on our street, brightening the dark houses. Charlie comes running as soon as we’re in the house, tail wagging so hard his whole butt wiggles.

“Sorry, boy.” Jack gets down to the dog’s level. “I didn’t bring you back a burger. Though you’re getting fat. You don’t need it.” Charlie flops over for a belly rub. “You wanna go outside? There’s snow.”

Charlie jumps up at the word ‘outside,’ and Jack takes him out. I use the bathroom and pull bobby pins from my hair, letting it down. I comb the curls out with my fingers the best I can and take off Jack’s suit jacket.

A rush of cold air hits me when he comes in from outside, brushing snow from Charlie’s fur. Butterflies flutter in my stomach when I see him, and the weight of what he did for me hits me hard.

“Jack?”

He takes his shoes off, striding across the kitchen. “Nora?”

I smile, liking the way my name sounds coming from his lips. “Thank you for tonight. It was so much more than I expected.”

“It was for me too.”

Our arms go around each other, and he kisses me. My heart lurches in my chest. I’ve never felt this strongly about someone before. I’ve never felt anything like this at all. Jack is a world of firsts for me, a dark force hurtling through the night. One I should stay away from…one I can’t resist. His hands go to the laces on the back of my dress, and I know there’s one more first he’s about to be.

He carries me up to his room, and in a tangle of flesh, I lose myself in Jack. And in that moment, I feel like I’m exactly where I’m meant to be.

* * *

Jack pulls my hair to the side and kisses my neck. We’re still in his bed. We’re still naked.

“Are you tired?”

My eyes are closed, and I don’t intend on moving from this spot, but I’m too exhilarated to sleep. “No. But I am kinda hungry even though we ate not that long ago.”

“Me too.” His lips go to my neck again.

“Want to order a pizza? Pepperoni pizza and breadsticks sound so good right now.”

Jack nuzzles his face against me, sucking at my flesh. “Sex and pizza, God, I love you, Nora.”

I freeze. He said—he didn’t mean—no, he couldn’t have. Realizing what he said, Jack sits up. But instead of pretending like he didn’t say anything, he looks right into my eyes.

“I really do. I love you. Maybe I shouldn’t, maybe it’s wrong, but it’s how I feel and no matter how hard I try, I don’t want anyone else but you. I’ve been denying it for so long, but there’s no way around it. I’m in love with you.”

He has his heart on his sleeve, dark eyes clouded with emotion.

“I love you, too.”

He lays down and I rest my head on his chest, gently circling his scar with my finger.

“Things are dark. When I’m with you, everything is better. You make me happy. You’re the light, and when I’m not with you, everything goes black. It’s selfish, I know. But I don’t care. I need you. I want you.”

“You can have me.”

Jack’s eyes glimmer and he gives me a smirk. “I just did.”

I bite my lip and smile back. “Yeah. You did.”

“Are you sore?”

“Yes, but I like it.”

“Lay down,” he urges. “Rest and I’ll get the food.”

“Actually, I was hoping to take a shower.” My heart pounds. I just lost my virginity to this boy, yet I still feel shy. “With you.”

“I like your plan better.” Jack gets out of bed, standing straight and tall. He’s completely naked and I let myself look him over. It’s the first time anyone has been naked in front of me. He extends his arm and I take his big hand. He leads me to the bathroom and turns on the water.

Exhaustion hits me when we get out of the shower. Jack gives me a white T-shirt and a pair of boxers to wear. He orders pizza and we lounge around on the couch while we wait. With the glowing lights of the Christmas tree behind us and Home Alone playing on the TV, things almost seem normal.

I eat two pieces of pizza and Jack eats the rest. I don’t know where he puts it; the boy is all muscle. I start to doze off, wrapped in Jack’s arms on the couch. In an attempt to steal my crust from the pizza box, Charlie knocks over our empty drinks from the coffee table, and the pizza box falls upside down on the area rug. It startles me, and we get up to clean up the mess. Jack lets Charlie get away with half a piece of crust, though, pretending he wasn’t able to stop the dog. There is something so hot about a guy who loves his dog.

“You don’t have to clean it all up tonight,” Jack says.

“It’s a habit.” I gather up all the trash and throw it away. “Mimi liked things neat and orderly. They kinda had to be. Clients would come to the house sometimes. It was like her showcase.” I grab my shoes and purse and put them on the bench by the front door. “Doing this stuff makes me feel like she’s still around. It’s stupid, I know.”

“It’s not stupid.” He strides over and wraps his arms around me. “Want to go to bed?”

“Yeah. I’m tired. Are you?”

“I’ve been tired for over a year.”

I take his hand, leading him upstairs. “Let’s sleep.”

And we do. We fall asleep quickly and sleep soundly for six straight hours until Jack starts twitching in his sleep. I wake up, feeling a little groggy. I know exactly where I am the moment my eyes open, and all I want to do is snuggle back into Jack’s arms and go back to sleep.

“Jack,” I whisper, seeing the strain on his face. “You’re having a nightmare.” I gently shake him, and his eyes fly open. He looks around the room, and I know he’s seeing things that aren’t really there.

“Jack.” Not knowing what else to do, I put my lips to his. His body relaxes. “It’s just me and you.”

His heart is racing. “Just me and you.” He pulls me to him. “I had the same nightmare again. But this time you were there. You were inside the gym. I couldn’t save you.”

“I’m not inside the gym. I’m right here. In your bed, wearing your clothes because we had sex.”

His eyes flit to mine. My words register, and he brings himself back to the here and now. “Yeah. We did.” He exhales heavily and brushes my hair back. I rest my forehead on his, hand on his chest. His pulse begins to slow, and my heart hurts for him. I hate how he gets stuck, how he relives the same nightmare over and over.

I hate that it’s not just a nightmare.

It really happened.

I get up to use the bathroom and come back to find Jack sitting up, looking out the window. The early morning sun is muted by gray clouds, and more snow gently falls down to earth. I get in bed behind him, snaking my arms around his waist and kissing his neck. We fall back together, and the kisses quickly turn into something more.

“Jack,” I pant, bringing a bare leg over his. “Do you have condoms?”

“Yeah.”

I swallow hard, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Can we use one?”

“Of course.” He reaches into his nightstand and roots around. We didn’t use one before, and he didn’t pull out. We were caught up in the moment, and I didn’t even think about it at the time.

“Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“My friend Becca says guys like it better without. But I don’t want to get pregnant like my mom did in high school.”

“I don’t want you to get pregnant either.” He puts the condom on and moves back on top of me. “Last night was the first time I did it without one, actually.” He makes a face. “Shit. Now I’m sorry to bring up my past…past whatever.”

I curl my legs around him. “I never once thought you were a virgin too.”

“Good. Because I’m far from it. Shit. I shouldn’t have said that either.”

I laugh, and he bends his head down. “It’s fine. You’re mine now.”

“Yes,” he growls. “I am.”

We curl up together once we’re finished. Jack is still tired, and I could fall back asleep and not wake up for half a day. I run my fingers through his hair, trying to relax him. His breathing slows, letting me know he’s asleep. I kiss him gently and am almost asleep too when I think I hear a door open and close downstairs. I open my eyes and listen. The house is quiet.

Then Charlie gets up and trots out of the room. The moment I hear someone walk up the stairs, I know it’s too late.

“Jack!” Veronica calls as she trudges up the stairs. “It’s just me. I don’t want to freak you out or anything. I had Nancy’s sister drop me off on her way to—”

Veronica stops in the threshold of Jack’s room. He sits up, and the sheets fall away. I snatch them back up, covering my breasts.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jack glares at his sister, then grabs the comforter off the floor, covering me.

Veronica rapidly blinks, as if she’s trying to make sense of what she’s seeing. “I, uh, I came home early and, uh…uh…” She looks at me and then Jack, and then makes a face. “Are you two still going to try and convince me you’re just friends now?”

Jack continues to glare at her, and I slowly slink back down into the covers. “There’s no point in trying anymore.”

Veronica wrinkles her nose. “Seriously, Jack. Close your freaking door.”

Jack shrugs. “No one was home. Be glad you didn’t come home a few minutes ago.”

“Ew.” She recoils and steps back. “I’ll be in my room. With loud music playing.” She steps away, and her door slams closed a moment later.

I turn to Jack. “Are we in trouble?”

“No.” He slips his arms around me. “I think she meant it when she said she’d be okay if we were together. She’ll be jealous, but she won’t say anything.”

I relax against him. “Should I go talk to her?”

“Do you really want to?”

“Not at all.” We lay back in bed and he straightens out the blankets over us. Despite the shock of getting walked in on, I’m tired and fall asleep within minutes. The next time I wake I have a mini panic attack that it’s afternoon and the Kellers will be looking for me. I texted Stephanie throughout the dance and promised to call in the morning. What if it’s not morning anymore?

Jack is still sound asleep, and I carefully move my arm out from underneath him, not wanting to wake him. I pull the blankets up over his shoulders. Jack sleeps on his stomach, with his face pressed into his pillow. I find the boxers and T-shirt I was wearing before and put them on. Away from his body heat, I shiver. Is it too invasive to go into his closet and find a sweatshirt?

Lucky for me, I don’t have to. There are two piles of laundry on his floor, and I take a guess to which one is the clean pile. I pull a sweatshirt over my head and go downstairs to find my phone.

Veronica’s door is open, and I slow as I pass. She’s not in there, and since Charlie isn’t lying in bed with Jack, I take that to mean he’s downstairs with Veronica. I have to talk to her eventually. Might as well be now.

“Hey.” She turns when I come down the stairs, looking away from the TV.

“Hi,”I reply.

“I got your overnight bag. It’s by the door.”

“Thanks.”

“Stephanie called.”

My heart drops. “How long ago?”

“Maybe half an hour ago. I picked up for you.”

“Uh, thanks.”

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her you were naked and in bed with my brother.” Veronica rolls her eyes. “Sorry. That was petty. I told her you were still sleeping, and we had fun at the dance. She wanted to let you know they wouldn’t be home until this afternoon.”

“Thank God.” I pick up my phone from the end table.

“I guess I’m back to being the only virgin in my group of friends. Well, if you still want to be friends with me. Jack was right. What I did was shitty. I’m sorry, Nora. I shouldn’t have left with them. Alice is a royal bitch and I just…I just want to be part of the cool kids. Saying it out loud makes me realize how much of a giant twat waffle I am.” She sighs and reaches for the Oreos in front of her. “I’ve been eating my feelings all morning.”

“It’s hard standing up to your friends.”

She arches an eyebrow. “It didn’t seem hard for you.”

“They’re not my friends.”

Veronica looks away, and I know she’s taking that to mean she’s not my friend either. I move around the couch and perch on the edge.

“But you are.”

“You still want to be friends with me?” Her eyes widen with hope. It’s weird, how her eyes are a light shade of blue and Jack’s are dark brown.

“Yeah.” I reach for an Oreo.

“Even after what I…what I did?”

“What you did was shitty, and you need to learn how to stand up for yourself or people will continue to walk all over you.”

“I’m sorry you missed dinner and part of the dance.”

“Thanks. Don’t beat yourself up over it, okay? I don’t really care about that stuff.”

“Jack told me you were crying.”

I look away. “I was, but not over a stupid dance.”

“Oh.” She sits up, scooting over. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know about the accident.”

A chill comes over me at the thought of the car crash. We were on our way home from seeing a live-action Beauty and the Beast play. I loved it. Mom loved it. Dad said there was too much singing, but he loved it because his girls did.

And then we got hit.

I lost consciousness on the way to the hospital, and the memory of waking up with my grandma at my bedside, tears streaming down her face still haunts me.

“I know you didn’t.” My voice catches, and I shove the Oreo in my mouth to keep from talking. I’d give anything to have my family back. Mom. Dad. Mimi.

“So.” Veronica opens a bag of chips. She wasn’t kidding about eating her feelings. “Normally friends talk after sex, especially when it’s your first time. But since your first time was with my brother, spare the details. Actually, no. I don’t think I can talk about it. I don’t want to risk a visual.”

Her words make me chuckle, and my heart swells at the thought of Jack. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

Veronica cringes and I laugh. “He’s happy with you. When you guys went through that weird few weeks of hardly talking, he went back to his old self. My parents almost didn’t go on their anniversary trip because of it.”

“Oh, I was worried about that.” And now I understand why Mrs. Harrington was thanking me. Not so she could get away for a night, but for making Jack happy. “He makes me happy too.”

Veronica narrows her eyes. “Was that a sex reference?”

“It wasn’t, but I can make it one. He’s good in that aspect too.”

She gags. “You’re having fun with this, aren’t you?”

“More than I thought I would.” I look down at my phone, checking the time. It’s only eight in the morning, and I’m already thinking about bedtime. “I should call Stephanie and go back upstairs.”

“I’m surprised Jack is still asleep. He doesn’t sleep in very often.”

I twist my phone around in my hands. “He has nightmares about that day. He doesn’t sleep well because of it.”

Veronica’s brows pinch together. She acts like she’s always annoyed with Jack, but I can see how much she cares about him. At least we have that in common. “I didn’t know that.”

“He worries about you a lot too. He said knowing you were in the gym helped spur him into action.”

She tips her head down and wraps her arms around herself. “I didn’t know that either. He never talks about it. Not to Mom or Dad…I don’t even think he talked much to the therapist. I’m glad he talks to you.”

“Me too.”