THIRTY-FOUR
“Christ, your apartment is insane, Roman.” It was so odd for Leo to think about Roman living in a place like this.
The floors were a gorgeous brown marble. Large bay windows covered one wall in the living room, with black curtains hanging open. There weren’t a lot of pictures on the walls—just a few paintings that looked like they cost a whole hell of a lot, and another of Jesus. The decorations were sparse, mostly vases or sculptures and all high-end appliances and furniture.
“Is that a good insane or bad?” he asked, stepping up beside Leo.
“Neither…it just is. I still struggle sometimes putting the boy I knew together with the man I know now. You’re a mystery. Mysteries are hot.” Leo nudged Roman, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders.
“Come on. I’ll finish giving you the tour while we wait for Amy to get here.”
Leo still wasn’t sure what this whole meeting with Amy was about. It wasn’t as though he had a problem meeting a friend of Roman’s—an ex-lover of Roman’s. He thought there might be more behind it than just Amy wanting to meet him.
When they reached Roman’s bedroom, Leo stopped and ran his fingers over the custom knobs on the double doors. “They look like mine…from when I was growing up. They’re the same.”
“I remember,” Roman told him, his voice soft. All this time and Roman remembered something so small as the knobs on his bedroom door. He’d remembered those things while blocking out who he was. Jesus, he couldn’t imagine the pain this man had lived with.
Leo hooked his thumb under Roman’s chin and turned his head so Roman faced him. The second he did, Leo let his mouth descend on Roman’s. He kissed with all the passion he could, let his tongue taste every millimeter of Roman’s mouth. He was hungry for Roman—he always was—but this kiss was about more than that. It was comfort and familiarity and support.
When the doorbell rang, they pulled away. “Show me the room after she leaves.” Leo smirked. He wanted to fuck Roman in his bed. Wanted to fuck him in every room in this apartment.
“Deal.”
Leo let Roman lead the way back down the hallway. He stood by the kitchen bar while Roman opened the door for a pretty redhead to come in. She carried two bags, which she set down. She was a petite woman, short and slender. He remembered her from the first night he’d seen Roman again. What he hadn’t noticed then was the way she looked at Roman with nothing but love in her eyes. He immediately liked her because of it. Because she cared about him and obviously wanted nothing more than for Roman to be happy.
They hugged, and Roman kissed her cheek before they both turned to Leo. He walked over and held out his hand for her. “I’m Leo. Roman’s told me a lot about you. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Amy,” she replied, but instead of shaking his hand, she hugged him. The smile on Roman’s face told Leo how important this was to him. How much he needed the only two people in his life to be close. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”
When she pulled away she said, “I hope you like enchiladas.”
Roman picked up the two bags by the door. “You know I do. I’ll help you make them.”
The apartment was open-concept: the living room, kitchen, and dining room separated by furniture and appliances. Leo almost asked if he could help, but he somehow knew he shouldn’t. Instead he sat at the bar as they washed their hands and began pulling ingredients from the bags.
While Roman started the chicken, Amy asked Leo, “So you’re a server and bartender, correct? How long have you been doing that?”
“I did some serving before I turned twenty-one. I started working in bars right after. I love it. I love being around people and the activity. I thrive on it. What do you do?”
“That’s great. It’s important to do something you love.” She folded the reusable bags. “I’m in marketing. Sometimes I love it. Sometimes not so much.”
“Believe me. I have those days too,” Leo replied, and they both laughed.
The three of them spoke about food, LA, and movies. He really liked her a lot. He also enjoyed seeing Roman around someone else he could let go with. He knew it likely hadn’t always been that way between them since Roman had always held a part of himself back, but they were completely open with each other now. It was similar to watching Roman dance with the man at the bar.
They teased and argued and got in each other’s way, but never made Leo feel like an outsider or as though he wasn’t a part of the conversation.
Once the enchiladas were in the oven, Amy said, “Shit. I forgot my wine. Do you have any white?”
Roman rolled his eyes at her. “You know I never have white wine, and I also know you won’t be able to eat without it. How did you forget your wine?”
And here it was. Exactly what Leo knew would happen was about to happen. He wasn’t angry. He respected Amy for worrying about Roman, but he couldn’t help but feel his hackles rise at the same time.
“I don’t know. Would you mind running to get some?” she asked.
Leo had noticed a store right up the block, so he knew Roman wouldn’t be gone long. Still, his eyes shot toward Leo’s like he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. “Go ahead. We’ll be good. I wanted to ask a few questions about her career anyway.”
“You owe me,” Roman told Amy before touching his back pocket, Leo assumed to make sure his wallet was there. He picked up his cell, headed for the door…then stopped. He turned, made his way back to Leo, and pressed a quick kiss to his mouth. “Do you want anything?”
“You can grab me a six-pack of Stella if you want.” He wasn’t sure why he liked the beer so much, but he did.
“Okay. I’ll be right back.” And then Roman was gone, leaving the two of them alone.
Amy didn’t waste much time getting to the point. “He’s in love with you. I’m assuming he always has been.”
Leo fought to keep himself calm. This was between him and Roman. “Thank you for letting me know.”
“I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. It sounded like an accusation and I’m sorry. I just… He’s happy. It would take a fool not to see that. He’s happier than I’ve ever seen him. It’s funny that sometimes you don’t realize how lost someone really is until they’re working their way out of it. That’s the way it feels with Roman. It’s like he’s a new man, and I want that so much for him, but…I’m worried about him too.”
Leo adjusted his position on the barstool. “Worried I’ll hurt him? There’s nothing I want more than for Roman to be okay. I’ve never wanted to see Roman hurt.”
“Yes and no. Getting hurt is always a possibility in a relationship, but this is different. Roman’s been through a lot. I understand that without knowing what most of it was. I wonder if some of those things are going on internally, without him being aware.”
There was a quiet voice in Leo’s head that said she was probably right. They’d moved fast and furious into a relationship like no time had passed. But then…things were great. Roman was dancing in gay bars now and making love with Leo nearly every night. He would know if something was wrong. “He’s fine. He’s happy.”
Amy sighed. “I don’t doubt that he’s happy, and he certainly does seem fine. I just… I see some similarities in my relationship with Roman compared to yours.”
He frowned, but Amy continued. “Roman was so quiet in college. I just figured that was who he was. He didn’t go out, didn’t party, didn’t have friends. He just had…school. When we got together, he was the same. Roman and I rarely went out unless it was a work function. His life became work and me. Even the first night we saw you at the club, it had been like pulling teeth to get him to go out. It’s like…he has these safe spaces, and he clings to them.” She shook her head. “I don’t know, maybe that sounds ridiculous.”
But the truth was, it didn’t. Leo didn’t want to acknowledge how familiar it sounded. They’d kept to themselves as teens too.
“I have no experience with this kind of thing,” Amy added. “Do you think he needs to talk to someone? Work through some of the emotions he’s feeling? That’s my only concern.”
Leo set his elbows on the bar and looked down, his forehead resting in one of his hands. There was truth to what she said. Logically, he knew that, but he’d already been through so much. Would unearthing all that pain make things better for him? “He’s fine. We’re good.” He would know if something was wrong. “But I understand what you’re saying, and it makes sense. I’ll talk to him. Jesus, it broke me when I lost him. I was so angry when he came back into my life. Angry because he hurt me and because I didn’t understand… But I do now. When I was young, Roman made me feel like I could be myself. Being with him was the only time I felt like I could be me. All I want is to do the same for him now.”
He wasn’t surprised when Amy walked around the bar and hugged him. When she pulled away, she said, “You do. I see it in him, just like I see that you’re as in love with him as he is with you.”
Just as she stepped back, the timer on the oven went off, followed by Roman walking back through the door.
“Oh. Perfect timing.” Roman smiled at him, making Leo’s chest expand. He’d loved Roman since he was sixteen years old and always would.