Debbie

“Chug it up!”

I joined in on the chant as my friend Greg Bowden chugged the beer trying to drink it faster than our other friend Mark Ryan. Greg had a talent that he could practically swallow an entire beer in one gulp. Mark never had a chance as Greg slammed the empty beer bottle on the table and held up his hands in victory while Mark was struggling to get past the halfway point in his own beer.

I stood up and cheered with my best friend Lara and our friend Tracy who was Greg’s girlfriend. We’d all known each other since at least junior high. And after college I’d come back to town to find the old gang was still the old gang. I’d fit right back in as if I’d never left. Some might consider it sad, but I saw it as a comfort. I was with my best friends who knew me better than anyone. At this point we were like a big extended family. And right now having a strong family in my corner was the best thing for me.

The party was fantastic. It always was, but this year it seemed like the Halloween committee had really outdone themselves. The decorations were better, they had an actual live band this year instead of a DJ, and the crowd was even bigger so the promotional team must have really been hitting it hard this year.

I had to admit I was having fun and I was glad I came. After I was there a while having a blast with my friends and not thinking about ‘what’s his name?’, I was having the time of my life. I was only about two drinks in, but I was feeling just a hint of a buzz working its way in and my whole demeanor was much more relaxed than before. This was a great idea, a great distraction.

But the pain was still there every now and then when I thought about it.

“Wow, that was intense!” Greg yelled before giving his girlfriend a big kiss.

“How many beers have you had tonight?” Tracy asked him.

“I don’t know; I lost count,” Greg joked.

Lara and I glanced at each other and laughed. Lara looked fantastic. She’d gone as a French maid and had the outfit down to the stitch. And she looked hot. My friend Lara was usually more on the reserved and shy side, at least about the way she dressed. Most people would have mistaken her for a librarian and not the freelance photographer she actually was. She had a gift with a camera; somehow she could shoot something in such a way that it made the image really come to life. I admired her artistic talents. And she was a strong business woman because she was always working and her reputation in the area was very strong.

I’d often thought about opening up my own accounting firm, but I wasn’t sure I wanted the hassle of being in charge of everything. As the boss I wouldn’t be doing any real accounting; I’d just be telling everyone else what to do. It sounded like a headache and honestly I loved crunching numbers. I loved balancing spreadsheets. I loved what I did.

Accounting was one of the few things that had kept me sane since I was dumped.

Dumped. Wow, I was still using that word. But what else could one really call it? I’d been dumped.

But I was starting to be ok with it.

“Do you want a drink?” Lara asked.

“Sure,” I replied.

Lara left to get it before I could tell her no alcohol. Oh, well, I’d just drink it very slowly. I wasn’t trying to get sloshed to forget my troubles. That had never really been my thing.

Pigging out on ice cream in front of the TV and getting fat, now that sounded like something I could get into.

“So, you having a good time tonight, Debbie?” Mark asked slumping down in the seat beside me. He appeared genuinely defeated over the beer chugging contest.

He still had some beer trickling down his chin. I laughed and wiped it off before answering him.

“Yeah, I’m having a great time,” I replied.

“Are you planning on doing any dancing tonight? I mean, that outfit is killing. You look amazing and I’ve seen like ten dudes totally checking you out already.”

I grinned with a touch of sarcasm attached to it in the way of an eye roll.

“Then why haven’t any of these mystery men asked me to dance?”

Mark shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe they are shy.”

“This is a party. It’s Halloween. Nobody is who they usually are tonight. Plus there is alcohol flowing. What in the hell do they have to be shy about?”

Mark evaluated my points with a thoughtful expression and a few seconds of silence.

“You got me,” Mark said. “But it happens. Why not take the initiative and ask one of them to dance. Dudes love that.”

I groaned. “No. I’m old fashioned. I am not going to ask a guy to dance.”

Really I didn’t have any issues with asking a guy to dance. I just didn’t really feel like dancing with anybody. This was a romance free evening for me. I was out of the house. I was having fun. I was hanging with my friends. But my heart was still damaged and any signs of romance or romantic interest (even a dance) might have been enough to trigger the bad feelings I had been holding at bay all evening. It wasn’t worth the risk. No sir, I was just going to hang out for the time being.

Lara returned with our drinks. She’d gotten us both some punch, which of course had been spiked. I tasted the alcohol immediately; I was disappointed, but I went with it.

“What are you guys talking about?” Lara asked.

“I was just asking Debbie why she doesn’t just go ask some dude to dance,” Mark said with a smile.

Jerk. He knew that Lara would totally get into this. I shot him a ‘not cool’ look. He smiled.

“That is an idea,” Lara said. “Why don’t you?”

“I don’t want to,” I replied hoping to end it. “That’s it.”

“I think it would be the best thing for you to start getting back out there,” Lara continued.

Ugh. This was going to be annoying. I was tired of having this conversation with her.

“Look, I don’t really want to get into it,” I replied. “I’m here to have a good time with you guys, not to find the next guy. I’m fine being alone for a while. I actually think it will be good for me.”

“Wrong!” Lara said. “If you let this drive you away from the world then you might as well have stayed home.”

“What the hell? Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

Lara smiled. “You know what I mean,” she said. “I know it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since you got out of a serious relationship, but it’s been long enough. I guarantee you that Daniel has moved on and is probably enjoying being with some skank, right now.”

“I told you he’d moved on,” I said. “And yes, I’m aware he is probably with some other skank by now, but that has nothing to do with me and my feelings.”

“Ok, fine,” Lara said. “I guess you will get back out there before you turn into some kind of a weird, old cat lady.”

I laughed. “I hate cats. That is never going to happen.”

“What? How can you hate cats?” Lara asked.

“I don’t hate them, but I am much more of a dog person.”

“Yeah, dogs are the best!” Lara joked.

I took another sip of my drink. It was good. I leaned back in my chair and looked around at the other people having a blast. Wow, it was a good turnout. The entire place was packed. I’d never seen it quite this amazing before. I wondered how long it had taken to decorate everything and how much the decorations had cost. The Halloween party was a free event, but it had to have cost a crazy amount to put on.

What was I doing? I was sitting there thinking about any random thing to keep my mind off Daniel and off the idea of even talking to another guy I might be interested in. This was a bit sad. I had to snap out of it. My friends and family were right. But it was so much easier said than actually done. I just wanted to go somewhere alone and clear my head for a few months.

Of course, that was not practical. I had responsibilities. But I had a responsibility towards myself to relax a bit and have some fun, right?

“Ladies and gentleman,” the voice broke over the break in the music. Everybody turned their attention to the gentleman standing up on the podium.

“It is that time again,” the man continued. I did not know the man’s name, but I recognized him as the host of this event every year. I wasn’t sure why I’d never bothered to even learn his name.

“Everybody here looks amazing tonight. This may be the best year we’ve ever had in terms of costumes. I swear many of you look like you stepped straight out of a Hollywood movie. And that is why this year’s costume contest is going to be even harder to decide. But our panel of judges is standing by to do just that.”

He pointed to a group of three women standing in the corner. When a spotlight fell on them they all smiled and waved.

That had to be an interesting job, I thought. But those three women were also dressed impeccably. Someone should have been judging them.

“So, if you are interested in being a part of the costume contest then go ahead and fill out the short ballot and drop it in the box up front here. We will announce the winner in the next hour, so time is of the essence.”

The man was trying to make his voice sound spooky but it was really coming off more like a used car salesman. It was kind of hilarious.

“Sweet! I am totally entering,” Lara said.

“Cool,” I replied. “I’ll vote for you.”

“Why don’t you enter?” She asked.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to.”

“But the prize is a hundred bucks, and you get the bragging rights. Around here that is important.”

I smiled. “No, I don’t really feel like it. I don’t want to have to stand up there if I happen to win.”

“Oh, confident are we?” Mark teased.

“No, but there is a chance of winning for anybody who enters, right?” I asked.

“Yeah, but you enter every single year,” Lara reminded me. “We always do it together. Don’t make me do it by myself.”

“I’ll do it with you,” Mark offered.

Lara slapped him on the arm. “Shut up.”

Those two were hilarious.

“Please…” Lara pleaded putting on the little girl voice she did whenever she really wanted me to do something stupid with her.

“Come on,” I said. “Not the voice…”

“Please…” Lara went again.

I broke out in a hard chuckle.

“Ok,” I said. “Fine.”

“Yay!” Lara fake cheered before she and I made our way up to the front to stand in line behind the people who wanted to enter the contest. If I remembered correctly the judges would vote on the top five and then everybody else would vote on them.

I’d been in the top five the past three years, but never officially won. But this year, I had to agree with everyone—I looked awesome.

“I don’t see much competition here,” Lara said confidently.

“Wow, you are really taking this thing seriously, aren’t you?” I asked.

“I’m a competitive person,” Lara replied. “That’s kind of what I do.”

This was true. My best friend Lara would turn almost anything into a competition if the opportunity presented itself. It was ridiculous. Anything that no one else cared about would quickly become a sporting event. She was the most entertaining person to have around, mostly due to things like this. That was probably one of the biggest reasons why she was my best friend.

We eventually made our way to the top of the line, filled out the little entry form and put it in the ballot box. We’d made it back to our table and I was just about to start enjoying my drink again when Lara grabbed my arm.

“Oh, wow…” she said.

Her eyes were fixated on something across the room behind me. The expression on her face was part fear and part obsession. I’d only seen that look in her eyes a few times.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Look at that guy,” Lara said.

At the mention of the word ‘guy’ Mark’s head whipped over to focus on Lara.

“I’m right here, babe…” Mark said.

Lara slapped him on the arm, which was kind of her thing she did a lot. I bet Mark had a permanent bruise on his arm from the ten times a day that Lara slapped him.

“Seriously, Debbie. You have to check him out,” Lara said.

“Lara, I’m really not interested. How many times do I have to tell you that?” I said.

Debbie slapped me on the arm.

“Ow! What the hell?” I exclaimed. Lara rarely did that to me, and it stung a bit.

“Just look!” Lara insisted.

I sighed and turned my head to the direction she was focused on. It took me a moment to scan the people standing in the corner before I realized what guy she was talking about.

The man was dressed in a dapper suit and a hat. I wasn’t quite sure what his costume was until I saw the fake scar that was stuck to the side of his face. I believed he was portraying a gangster, maybe Al Capone.

And this man was hot. My heart skipped a beat in my chest and I almost choked from forgetting to breathe for several seconds. My body finally woke up and forced me to start inhaling oxygen once again, but I was not paying that much attention to it. I was now fully engaged in watching.

The man was talking to a member of the band. They seemed to be friends.

“Wow,” I said.

“See,” Lara replied. I was suddenly glad that she’d slapped me.

“That may be the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen,” I said.

“Right?” Lara agreed.

“I don’t think he is that gorgeous,” Mark said. “Babe, you remember me, right?”

Lara groaned and shot him a look. Those two had always sounded like an old married couple.

“You should go talk to him,” Lara said.

I started to move from my seat when reality sank in.

“No,” I said. “I’m not going over there.”

“What? You are going to let a guy like that just slip away?”

“He probably has a girlfriend or something,” I said. “Guys that perfect looking do not stay single for long.”

“That is such a negative way to think,” Lara said. “Just go over there. You won’t know until you try. Besides, I think he is new. I do not recognize him.”

“I know this is a small town, but I don’t know everybody who lives here,” I said. “Neither do you.”

“Really? I like to think that I very well do,” Lara said.  “You can’t let this slip away.”

I groaned. I knew she was right, but I have to admit I was terrified. I’d never really gone over and introduced myself to a guy before. I am old fashioned and to me it felt weird. And now I realized actually thinking about doing it was scary as hell. I felt sweat beginning to ooze down my back. It wasn’t that hot in the room; the air conditioning was cranked.

“No,” I said. “I can’t.”

I slumped back down in my chair feeling like a fool. I  had never known myself to be scared of really doing anything, or at least not scared enough that I let myself talk myself out of doing it. But I wasn’t ready. I was in a bad way over the breakup still and I had made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going to initiate anything with any new guys for a while. I was giving myself space. I needed it.

“What the hell?” Lara asked.

“You know ‘what the hell’,” I replied. “I’m off romance for a while. I’ve explained this to you until I’m blue in the face. Now, just let me chill.”

Lara shrugged and looked over at Mark who had an oddly satisfied grin on his face. He loved it when Lara failed to convince someone to do something. It wasn’t just that; I think Mark was so used to Lara’s competitive nature that seeing her fail to win at anything was fun for him.

I went back to my drink and tried to get interested in the conversation that Greg and Tracy were having, but I quickly lost interest. Greg was trying to convince Tracy that he could run a mile in ten minutes. It was laughable since Greg was easily thirty pounds overweight and had not run at all since playing high school football six years ago. I watched for a moment to see if Mark would get him to bet some money to do this.

I was about to get up to get a water when I saw him.

Daniel.

He was standing about ten feet away dancing the night away with some blonde girl I’d never seen before. The two of them seemed to be enjoying each other’s company and it was easy to see that they were probably going to take the party to someplace more private very soon the way they were all over each other kissing and groping. In public, really?

“That is so gross,” Lara said.

She’d locked her sights on Daniel, too.

“Yeah,” I replied. “God, I should have known he’d be here.”

“I thought he was always putting this Halloween party down? You had to beg him to come with you last year, remember?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “But I guess he found someone more interesting to come with.”

“You should go over there and mess with him,” Lara said. “You know, tell this girl some odd secrets about him, like that he shaves his legs.”

I laughed. “He doesn’t as far as I know.”

“Yeah, but she might not know that, yet. Or think of something else fun.”

“You are a troublemaker, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” Lara confirmed quickly. “I love trouble. It makes life so much more fun.”

I had to agree with her, but I preferred to view the trouble from far away. And I really didn’t feel like talking to Daniel. Hell, I would have died a happy woman if I could have been guaranteed I’d never have to talk to the jerk ever again.

But in this town, that was very unlikely. I was going to be running into him from time to time; I needed to get used to it, I guess.

“Now, I wish I’d stayed home,” I muttered.

“Snap out of it,” Lara said. “You have got to stop letting him have this kind of power over you. Remember who you are and what you’ve got going on.”

“What the hell do I have going on?” I asked.

“You will never know if you don’t go over there and talk to that guy. Besides, maybe Daniel will take notice and be jealous or something.”

“I have no interest in making Daniel jealous,” I said. “Those games have never appealed to me. They are childish and belong on soap operas.”

“Don’t go dissing my Soaps,” Lara said. The girl was addicted. She DVR’d every single episode of all the most popular Soap Operas on TV every single day. It was sad, really.

But she did have a point. I did not care to make Daniel jealous, but seeing him with another girl being so happy and carefree did kind of light a fire under me to move on and be happy, too. Why did I allow him to keep making me miserable when my name probably was never even in his mind anymore? I doubt that he ever thought about me; he was too busy with his next conquest. It was like he’d woke up one day and realized he wanted to just have sex with as many women as he possibly could before he died, so he cancelled our engagement and started making up for lost time.

It was rather pathetic.

I looked over to where the sexy guy had been standing a few minutes ago. He was just finishing up his conversation with the guitar player and starting to walk away. Wow, he had a sexy stride.

I was almost mesmerized by him. The way he moved, the sexy smirk on his face, his rugged good looks, and the way he carried himself that said he owned the whole world. It was alluring, it was enticing, and it was so seductive. I realized I could not look away.

And then he locked eyes with me.

Somehow from halfway across the crowded room he had zeroed in on me. When his eyes met mine, I saw a change in his facial expression. It went from mildly happy and amused to very happy and focused. His eyes lit up, his smile widened and his walk even seemed to change a little bit as if there was a new pep in his step. All of this happened in a matter of seconds.

And then I realized that he was walking towards me.

“Oh, my God…” I muttered.

“What?” Lara asked.

But I could barely hear her. The words echoed in my head from somewhere far away and I did not want to respond to them. I was too caught up in the wave of seduction walking my way right then. I probably couldn’t have told anyone where I even was right then if asked. The zone had found me and I was caught up in it hardcore.

“Hey, there.”

The man was standing in front of me now. He was right there. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move.

“Oh, wow,” Lara muttered beside me.

“I’m Paul,” the man said. His voice was deep with a bit of rasp to it. It was amazing. I loved how it rang in my ears and thumped in my chest.

I vaguely realized I had not said anything or made a sound for several seconds.

“Do you have a name?” Paul asked with a wide grin.

Name? Did I have a name? I thought so. But I couldn’t really think of it right then.

Lara elbowed me.

This small gesture of aggression managed to snap me out of my daze just enough for me to mumble the words, “Hi, I’m Debbie.”

“Great,” Paul said. “So, Debbie, the band is about to start back up. Would you like to join me for a dance?”

I thought a moment unsure of how to respond. My brain was just not working. What the hell was wrong with me? I’d never been this nervous to talk to anyone before. Come on, mouth. Do something.

“She would love to,” Lara said nudging me again.

I glanced at her and then nodded with a nervous giggle.

“Yes, I would love to,” I said.

“Alright, then,” Paul said.

He held out his hand and I took it as he led me to a space on the dance floor.

I could practically hear Lara’s head exploding with a chorus of high pitched squeals like she was in junior high.

As we made our way to the dance floor I caught a glimpse of Daniel looking my way. He’d noticed me after all. The look on his face was priceless. And I had to admit this was fun to show him that I wasn’t affected by him and the way he’d treated me. I was an attractive, strong, independent woman who didn’t need the likes of him hanging around me. I was moving on with my life. It was the hardest thing I’d ever been through, but somehow I was forcing myself to move through it and move on faster than I thought I would. It was crazy how I could feel so defeated and then in a moment I realized I wasn’t at all and I was actually moving in the right direction all along.

Daniel’s eyes looked like they were about to fall out of his head as I passed by him. I gave him a quick glance and then ignored him like the plague. I don’t think Paul noticed; he was too busy finding us a spot.

The band fired up a fast, up tempo rock song right then. I didn’t recognize it, but it had a great hook and a really danceable groove. I was not that used to fast dancing with a guy, but I was sure I’d get the hang of it. And I was glad the first song was not a ballad or a slow dancer. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. But then again, I hadn’t been sure I was ready for any of this all night long and here I was moving through it anyway.

Paul had some great moves. His body was lean, but muscular. Even in the suit he was wearing I could see that. The contours of the suit fit him snugly, as if it was almost tailor made.

I found my inner wild child and started to dance heavily to the music, feeling the beat in my feet, and moving my body to it. I had never considered myself much of a dancer, but I was having fun with it. Occasionally Paul would bring me closer to him and give me a flirty smile or even a wink.

Damn, he was hot. Being so close to him I could smell his sweet scent, feel his warmth, and just allow myself to get caught up in his being. There was something so special and different about him, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I just felt myself gravitating towards him. His aura, his passion, his charisma—all of it just came together in a very magical way that pushed all of my attraction buttons.

I was lusting after him.

By the end of the first song the two of us were getting very close. And I was thinking about kissing him. Wow, the thought of kissing another guy had barely crossed my mind since Daniel and I split up, but here it was and I was sure I’d have my opportunity. Paul seemed to be very much into me, but at the same time I wasn’t sure. He appeared to be the type of guy who kept his feelings buried inside of himself. I had just met him and I wasn’t sure, but there was something very mysterious about him. I got the idea that if I really tried to get to know him too soon, he’d give me nothing but very vague answers.

And I found that very intriguing. And intriguing was hot.

After the second fast song I felt like I was going to pass out from thirst. The temperature in the room had suddenly spiked about twenty degrees, though it was probably just the dancing.

“You want to get some water?” Paul asked as if reading my mind.

“Yes,” I said. “I think I’m dying.”

Paul led the way to where the big barrel of bottled waters was. He handed one to me and grabbed another for himself. I quickly took a huge drink, feeling the cool liquid hitting my lips and rolling down my throat quenching my thirst. I drank about half the bottle with that first gulp.

“Wow, slow down,” Paul said with a smile.

“Hey, I don’t do much dancing normally,” I said. “I have no idea why this is more taxing than my daily run.”

“Ah, you run every day? Me too,” Paul said. “Are you into any sports or anything? Or do you just enjoy it?”

“Well, both,” I said. “I sometimes play some volleyball with friends at the YMCA, and I also swim quite a bit there. But mostly I run to clear my head first thing in the morning. It kind of gets me centered for the day before work.”

“Right on,” Paul said. “What kind of work do you do?”

“I’m an accountant,” I replied wishing I had something far more interesting to tell him.

“Nice,” Paul replied. “You must love numbers.”

“I do, but it’s not really about the numbers for me,” I said. “I love balancing things. It’s kind of a puzzle I get to decipher and put together. I enjoy that.”

Paul smiled and nodded.

“Wow, I sound lame,” I said. “I know accounting is the most boring thing ever.”

“Nah, don’t say that. If you love what you do then consider yourself lucky. My dream is to make a living doing what I love, but for right now I’m stuck grinding.”

“What do you want to do?” I asked.

“I’m a writer,” Paul said. “I’m actually working on a novel right now.”

“Really? That’s fascinating,” I said. “What genre?”

Paul smiled and looked around pointing at the party.

“Horror, of course. That’s kind of why I moved here,” Paul said. I detected a small note of embarrassment in his voice. Just a little. It was cute I thought.

“I used to read a lot of horror in high school,” I said. “But nowadays after staring at ledgers for eight straight hours when I get home my eyes feel numb and reading is the last thing I want to do. But on the weekends sometimes I do read a bit.”

“Well, what kinds of things do you read when you do get the chance?” Paul asked. The way he worded it sounded a bit flirty to me.

“Well, it depends, really. Just whatever I’m in the mood for,” I said just as flirty.

Paul leaned in close to me for a second. Was he going to try to kiss me? Was this the moment? The first kiss? Would there be more? Was this going too fast? What had I gotten myself into with this sexy, charming stranger?

I felt my pulse quicken and the butterflies churning around in my stomach. When I left the house tonight I certainly wasn’t ready for this. There was no way I’d imagined anything remotely close to this happening. If I’d known I probably would have stayed home just to stick to my principle of staying away from romance for a while.

But this was good. This was so good…

I wanted his. I wanted Paul’s lips on mine. What was it going to be like? He was so mysterious and interesting. His presence had me fully captivated almost from the moment he locked eyes with me.

And now he was going to kiss me? Wow…

My body stiffened slightly as I prepared for the kiss.

And then Paul reached up and pulled a small piece of fluff out of my hair. He dropped it on the floor.

“That’s better,” he said with a smile.

I felt myself blushing about ten different shades. Wow. He wasn’t going in for a kiss. I just had a piece of fluff in my hair for God’s sake. What the hell was I thinking? I felt stupid, like a jerk, but I didn’t think Paul realized what was going through my mind, that I thought he was going to kiss me.

But I still wanted it. I wanted it badly.

And I was sure by the end of the night I was going to have those lips on mine.