Debbie

“You did not do that!”

“I did,” I said. “I would not make this up. It happened. Just the way I said it did.”

“Holy shit!” Lara squealed falling back on my bed and squeezing one of my pillows to her chest.

We were sitting in my room the day after the concert, both of us just off work, and we’d decided to just hang out. We thought we might go see a movie, or maybe we would order pizza and watch something on TV, we weren’t sure yet, but we would figure it out at one point.

I was excited to tell Lara about the concert and the naughty business Paul and I had gotten into in the ladies restroom. I still couldn’t believe it myself, so I naturally understood Lara’s initial skepticism.

“It was amazing! I’ve always wanted to do something like that, but just never knew if I would have the guts. People kept walking in. I could hear them just outside the stall. It was scary, exciting… it was just mind blowing. And it was so hot.”

“So, how big is he?” Lara asked.

I threw a pillow at her.

“You are such a pervert. Have I ever asked you that about Mark?”

“He’s average; nothing to write home about,” Lara said with a shrug.

I felt a blush coming over me.

“I did not want to know that,” I said.

“Then you shouldn’t have asked,” Lara replied.

“I didn’t. You volunteered. That is way different.”

I groaned. Lara could be exhausting to talk to sometimes.

“So, how serious are you getting with Paul?” Lara asked.

I thought a moment, not sure exactly how to answer.

“It’s kind of complicated,” I said.

“What’s so complicated about it? He is a great guy, awesome in bed, and he seems to like you, right? The guy sounds like a keeper to me.”

“Yeah, but we have only known each other a few days, really. I just don’t think I should be feeling so close to someone I don’t really know that well, but I do. I’ve tried to fight it, but he is always on my mind and I miss him like crazy when we aren’t together. Those few days after the Halloween Party, I must have checked my phone five hundred times a day to see if he texted or called. I was going nuts.”

Lara was laughing hard now, almost cackling at me.

“You got it bad, girl,” Lara said.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“You shouldn’t feel weird about it. I’ve heard about people who fall in love at first sight. I think sometimes you get lucky enough to meet someone that you really belong with and it’s obvious right away. That happens.”

“I guess I never really believed it would happen to me,” I said. “And now that it is I’m not sure how to react to it. Do I tell Paul? Do I keep it to myself? I feel like I’m going nuts sometimes.”

“You are overthinking this. If you really like the guy then tell him how you feel.”

“But I don’t want to scare him off,” I said. “A guy like that will run and never look back if I come on too strong.”

“I see what you are saying, but I think it’s silly if you don’t put yourself out there and just pretend. Paul might feel the same way.”

“That’s the thing,” I said. “He is such a hard guy to get a read on. I’m not sure how he really feels.”

“Well, you won’t know until you ask him,” Lara said. “But then again you don’t want to scare away sex that good, right?”

I smiled. “Yeah, it is the best. I mean, mind blowing sex. It’s stuff I would never have thought in a million years I’d be doing. I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

My door burst open right then and my  mother was standing there. Oh, the joys of still living with my parents…

I almost swallowed my tongue the way she just burst through the door. How much had she heard? Did she hear about the sex with Paul?

“Debbie,” my mother said. “Are you eating dinner with us, or are you going out?”

“Um, we haven’t really decided—“ I said.

“We are ordering pizza and staying in,” Lara interjected, deciding for the both of us.

“Um, ok,” I said. “I guess we are staying in. Why?”

“Well, I just wanted to know if you wanted me to set a place at the table for the two of you.”

“Nah, we’ll probably just eat the pizza up here and watch some TV.”

“Ok,” mom said as she turned to leave.

I wanted to yell at her and scold her for entering my room without at least knocking first, but I held my tongue. I usually locked my door just to avoid this sort of thing. My mom had never been particularly good at respecting my privacy when it came to my bedroom. It wasn’t that she didn’t care; it was just one of those things she seemed totally absent minded about.

“Oh, Debbie,” mom said stopping in the doorway.

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you invite that new boyfriend of yours to dinner? Your father and I would love to meet him.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say he is really my boyfriend,” I replied. “I mean we haven’t discussed it or anything really.”

“Either way, you should bring him over. Unless you don’t think it’s serious?”

The way my mother posed that question with that tone in her voice I really felt that she was trying to tell me she knew much more than she was letting on. How? How did she know? Certainly she wasn’t eavesdropping. That wasn’t like her. Or maybe she did pick up something accidentally walking by. The walls were thin in our house.

Why the hell was I still living with my parents? I asked myself that question every single day, usually multiple times, and I knew the answer to that question. It was like having a constant debate with myself.

“Ok,” I said. “I mean, I’ll ask him. When?”

“How about tomorrow night?”

“Sure, that sounds fine,” I replied.

“Great,” mom said closing the door behind her.

Lara burst out laughing her head off.

“What are you laughing about?” I asked.

“Your mom totally heard everything,” Lara said.

“We don’t know that.” I paused. “You think?”

“Probably,” Lara said. “And you are inviting Paul to dinner here? With the parents? That is a big step relationship move. Are you sure about this?”

“I don’t know,” I replied. “It’s too early, right?”

What the hell was I going to do? If I asked Paul to meet my parents, to have dinner at their house, I was giving him the idea that he and I were a thing, right? After all we’d experienced so far to me it felt right, but what about him? He was such a closed book. I loved that about him, it kept the mystery alive, which was so much fun, but I also wished he would be a bit more open about his feelings sometimes. It would make decisions like this so much easier.

“You seem to think I have all the answers,” Lara said. “I feel I’ve made it clear during the history of our friendship that I’m really not that smart.”

“You are so full of it,” I teased. Lara was one of the smartest people I knew. And she usually had great advice, but sometimes she liked to mess with me and withhold that advice.

“I’m going to order the pizza,” I said grabbing my phone.

I went to the website, ordered it, and scheduled it for delivery.

“Did you get the cheesy sticks?” Lara asked.

“Of course. I would never forget such a thing,” I joked.

“Good,” Lara said. “Now what were we talking about?”

“Really?”

Lara smiled widely and winked at me. “Just messing with you. So, the thing with Paul—I think it’s silly for you to hide your feelings, but that’s up to you. And go ahead and invite him to the dinner. Tell him it was your mom’s idea and make it sound really casual and low key.

“If I tell him it was her idea then it makes it sound like I’ve been talking to my mom about it. Doesn’t that sound lame?”

“Oh, for God’s sakes,” Lara said.

Without warning she grabbed my phone and started texting.

“What are you doing?” I asked reaching for my phone.

Lara turned her back and finished texting. Then she gave me back the phone.

“What the hell?” I asked.

“There, it’s done,” Lara cheered obviously feeling so proud of herself.

“You are insane,” I said but I couldn’t help the laughter escaping me and honestly I did feel less pressure now that it was done. It was out of my hands. I couldn’t take it back. Paul would respond the way he would respond.

“That is how it’s done,” Lara said. “When there is something hard to do the best thing is to just do it without thinking and get it over with. That’s how I’ve always lived my life, which is why my life is so awesome.”

“Your life is about the same as mine,” I reminded her.

“Yeah. It’s awesome,” Lara laughed. “It’s pretty boring really, but I’m awesome enough to keep it interesting.”

I shook my head.

“Did your mom ever have you tested? The ideas that bounce around inside your brain are enough to make anyone crazy.”

“Oh, those are just the ideas I tell you about. You don’t know about the others,” Lara teased.

My phone vibrated just then.

It was text from Paul.

“Sure, that sounds fun. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

I showed it to Lara.

“Ok, there you go. He doesn’t sound freaked out to me.”

“Yeah, but this is a text. It’s very hard to grasp tone from a text.”

Lara laid back on my bed and sighed heavily.

“You are impossible sometimes,” she said. “I’ve never known you to get so worked up over a guy before. I admire the strength you usually have. What’s different about this one?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe it’s because of Daniel. I’m afraid to allow myself to be that open with someone again. The last time I did that my heart got stomped on. Or maybe it’s just because this is all happening so fast. I don’t know.”

I hated feeling this way. I was relieved that Paul had accepted the dinner offer, and he didn’t sound very alarmed. It was surprising that he didn’t make a joke out of it or anything, unless maybe he was just keeping things inside like he always did. He had a tendency to do that.

The pizza came soon and we found a fun comedy on Netflix to watch. And the rest of the night we didn’t really talk much about Paul or relationships, which was good. I wanted to keep things out of my mind for a bit and just have some fun.

But Paul was always on my mind. I could not stop thinking about his touch, feeling his rock hard body against me, that beautiful cock of his pounding away inside of me, his taste—everything about the man I was obsessed with.

Was that the right word? Obsession?

I would have to agree that it was. That was the only way I could rationalize the intense feelings I was having for him. If I had to probe deeper I would say I was falling in love with him for sure.

And I knew it was fast. I knew it was probably not reciprocated, and I was scared. I didn’t want to get hurt again. My heart had been so scarred, so trampled on. I was terrified to put myself back out there again. As long as Paul and I were just having a passionate physical affair, which is what I’d assumed after the night of the Halloween party, then everything was fine. I could deal with that because my heart wasn’t involved. I’d never had a purely physical, lighthearted relationship with anyone before, but I was willing to give it a shot.

Except this wasn’t just a physical thing. Paul and I had a real connection. It was deeper than either one of us probably realized or were looking for. I’d never experienced a burning desire for someone like this before. I just ached to be touched by him.

After last night I was wet at the mere thought of Paul’s name. When he’d surprised me in the bathroom at the concert I was unsure what was about to happen, but as soon as we started getting it on I felt like a crazed animal. I was giving full reign to all of my lust and passion. I could still taste him between my lips. I never thought I could worship a body part before, but I had to say that I was in love with his cock. I wanted to taste it again, feel it in my hands, my mouth, my body… I was willing to let him put it anywhere he wanted whenever he wanted.

And adding to this physical addiction was an emotional connection which I guessed was very much like love, or at least getting there.

I made the decision that I was going to tell Paul how I felt tomorrow night after dinner.

It would either end well or it would end there. Either way, I knew it was the best thing for me.