Debbie

“Are you sure?” I asked.

I felt panic rising up inside my abdomen. The butterflies were swirling around in there making me nauseas. My arms and legs were aching and I had a throbbing in the back of my head. My breathing was short and shallow.

This couldn’t be real.

“Yes,” Doctor McCoy said. “There is no mistake. You are six weeks pregnant.”

Pregnant. Those words echoed inside my brain over and over again. I felt like I was going to fall off the table and land flat on my face. And I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt more alone than I did right there in the doctor’s office.

“I take it by your reaction that this is a surprise to you and not planned?” The doctor asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, I hate to get personal, but is the baby’s father in the picture?”

“Yeah… um, well, I think so. I mean… he’s been out of town a few weeks and I don’t have a way to reach him… I’m not sure what is going on. He had a family emergency.”

“Oh, I see,” Doctor McCoy said. “Well, I’m sure your folks will give you plenty of support. I know them well; they are fine people.”

“Yeah,” I replied. I felt almost catatonic. I wished my mother was there. She would make me feel so much safer about everything. I had to get home and tell her.

But how was I going to do that? My parents were so old fashioned they might disown me. I quickly put that thought out of my head. My mother and father were really very understanding people, but would this be different? Would they view me differently in their eyes now? I had never disappointed them before. Would this be considered an embarrassment for them?

“I’m going to give you some literature about what to expect and I’d recommend you do some more research online about what you will be going through in the upcoming months,” the doctor said.

I left the doctor’s office and drove home in a daze and though it was the hardest thing I’d ever done I sat my mother and father down at the kitchen table and told them everything.

To my surprise they were both thrilled. My mother embraced me warmly and kissed me on the forehead like she did when I was a little girl.

“My baby is having a baby,” she said. “Wow, I’ve dreamt of this for so long.”

“You aren’t upset? I mean, Paul and I aren’t married and I don’t even know how to contact him. Hell, I don’t even know if he is coming back or not.”

“Honey, I don’t believe the miracle of life is ever a mistake,” my mom said. “Your father and I are very happy for you.”

“Thanks, mom,” I said.

“Don’t worry about Paul,” my dad said. “I know that man loves you. He will be back.”

He leaned over and hugged me tightly. It felt so good to have the support of both of my parents. I was so scared and confused. I wouldn’t have known what to do without them.

All of my friends were ecstatic of course. Lara was already calling herself “Auntie Lara”. She was going to spoil my baby so badly. It was going to be awesome.

I just wished that I knew where Paul was. What was he doing?

No matter how much support and love I had around me, until I had the answer to those questions I would still feel very alone.