Debbie

Paul was really there. And he looked fantastic.

I knew he would probably come, but I hadn’t expected the overwhelming feeling of déjà vu that came with laying eyes on him. I’d seen him a few days before when he came to pick up our daughter Emily to spend the day with her, but I’d only seen him briefly.

My parents were babysitting her tonight. Our sweet little Emily. I couldn’t stand to go more than a few hours away from her.

“You look fantastic,” Paul said to me.

I thanked him and looked over at Lara who was rolling her eyes. I tried to ignore her.

“Would you like to dance,” Paul asked.

I once again glanced over at Lara and Mark who both raised their eyebrows. They figured this was not a good idea.

But it was just a dance, right?

“Sure, I would love to,” I said.

Being out on the dance floor again with Paul just like last year was such a trip. It  had been good the way we’d patched things up a few months ago and when Emily was born Paul had stepped up to be as involved in her life as he could be. We had a strict visitation schedule that we both agreed with and stuck to.

It had been great.

“So, where is Roy tonight?” Paul asked.

“He is out of town actually,” I said. “He is attending some pharmacy convention or seminar.”

“That sounds fun,” Paul said.

I laughed. “It most definitely is not.”

We shared the laugh and it felt great. I’d missed this. Dancing with Paul, looking into his eyes, and feeling his touch on mine… it was all making me feel so nostalgic for what we’d shared. The hot, spicy romance that was between us, the old feelings, the heat, the lust, the passion—all of that was starting to bubble to the surface as we danced.

We danced for several songs, took a break to get some beer, and then danced some more. He was even hanging out with the gang the way he had the first night we’d all met him last year.

And I realized I’d hardly thought about Roy at all. I knew that Roy was getting very serious and was probably going to pop the question any day now, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I knew that. My family wanted it and my friends wanted it, but I didn’t.

Being with Paul that night brought everything together for me. I knew that he was the one I wanted. I knew that he was the one that our baby needed. He was her father and she loved him dearly. They were perfect together. Paul and I were perfect together.

We had a family. We just needed to be together.

It was during a slow dance when I finally broke down and began babbling to Paul about how I felt. Once I started talking the words just kept coming along with the tears and all of the emotions I’d had pent up inside of me for so long.

“Paul, I need you” I suddenly blurted out as the song came to an end.  “I want you and only you. I can’t keep fighting this anymore. I want us. I need us. Emily needs us. Please, tell me you feel the same way.”

I was full on crying now. I couldn’t help myself. I was breaking down. It had been so hard to hold everything back for so long. I was over it.

Paul looked deeply into my eyes and smiled, his face coming close to mine.

Before he kissed me he whispered, “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

His lips touched mine and Heaven embraced us.