Paul

“Come on, Debbie,” I pleaded into the phone receiver. “I know you are avoiding me, but I really need to talk with you. I’m really sorry about what happened. I’ve already started fixing everything in the story, so it’s not even a problem anymore. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Just give me a call when you can. I love you. I miss you.”

With that I ended the call. It had been two and a half days and I hadn’t heard from Debbie. I’d tried getting her on the phone repeatedly and I’d left four voicemails.

I didn’t know what to think. Was she still mad at me or was she just trying to teach me a lesson so I wouldn’t betray her trust again? Or was she done with me?

That last thought sent my heart leaping into my throat and made it difficult to breathe. Could this actually be the end of us?

No, surely not. It was just a spat, right?

I realized I’ve never really known that much about women. My focus has always been on other things. I figured when I decided to get in a serious relationship then I would figure out those sorts of things. Well, here I was in the most serious relationship I could have ever imagined with a woman that I loved more than I ever knew I would love anyone, and I was totally clueless.

I tried to focus on training, but my thoughts kept drifting off to Debbie. And losing focus during something as dangerous as bull riding was a really bad thing that could lead to very dangerous injuries.

As my last ride of the day proved.

I got settled in on the bull and secured my gloved hand on the handle. I was gripping it as hard as I could with my non dominant left hand, as per the rules. Even with my dominant hand it would have been hard to handle the bull Joe had nicknamed “The Demon”.

It was his most dangerous, strongest, and most aggressive bull. It was jet black in color but its eyes were the blackest part of all. When I stared into his face I saw nothing but death and destruction staring back at me.

Of course really it was just a scared animal. I’d always tried to treat the bulls I worked with doing the sport I loved with as much respect and care as I could. Riding a bull did nothing to hurt the bull, but it was frightening to them at times. I felt a bit bad about this from time to time, but I told myself that the animal was only scared because it was confused by what was happening.

Still, sometimes it didn’t make it any easier.

But I knew that Joe was a good man who took great care of his animals.

The second we were out of the gate I knew that something was wrong.

The bull jerked in a way that was somehow more violent than any bull I’d ever been on. Its body practically twisted in the air beneath me and for a brief second I seriously thought it was going to flip completely over and land right on top of me. It would have crushed my chest and I would have died without a doubt.

Miraculously, I was able to hold on and the bull’s feet slammed back to the ground, only to bounce back up almost as high as it had before. When the bull hit the ground this time the fury was so intense that my hand came loose and I felt myself starting to fall off the bull.

From there if I’d fallen to the ground the bull would have stomped me several times before I could have been helped away. I would have been right under him.

“Paul!”

Joe’s voice echoed from the sidelines.

I tried to drown him out. My mind had to remain clear and calm. I had to concentrate on what I was doing or I was going to be in serious trouble.

My body was falling off the side of the bull. The grip was pressing into my thigh from the saddle sending a pinching pain gnashing at my leg but alerting me to where it was.

My instincts came to life and I reached out to grab the handle. The fingers of my bare right hand found their mark and I gripped the handle tightly.

The momentum continued to carry me forward and I let it effectively doing a front flip, but steadying myself by holding on tightly to the handle with my bare hand. The pressure on my wrist was intense, threatening to weaken my fingers and possibly snap a bone in my forearm as I continued to move forward putting pressure on my arm.

But luckily nothing broke.

The moment my feet hit the ground I let go of the saddle  handle and I ran as hard as I could to the fence where I leapt over it a second away from being gored by the bulls long, thick horns.

My body flipped over the fence and I braced myself for the hard thud that followed. I lie there for several seconds trying to catch my breath and coming face to face with the realization that I had almost just died but I was now perfectly fine.

“Paul! Are you ok?” Joe asked rushing over to me.

I quickly got to my feet. My breathing was a bit labored but I was otherwise alright.

“I’m fine,” I said.

“Wow, that could have ended badly,” Joe said.

“Yeah, I’m not sure what happened exactly. I guess I wasn’t totally ready.”

“Perhaps, but this guy is a monster after all,” Joe said. “You see why I call him demon, right?”

Joe chuckled in his typical way.

Joe’s wife Katherine arrived just then and we both assured her I was fine.

“You young kids are going to be the death of me,” Katherine said.

Before I could really ask what she was talking about since I was the only one out there riding, she walked away back to her duties of supervising cleaning of the horse stalls.

Were those kids having a lot of accidents with the poop or something? I smiled at my own inside joke.

Really, I was just trying to come back to reality and getting my nerve worked back up to hop on the bull again. I was shaking like a leaf, which meant this was the best time to get back in there. Otherwise the fear would stay with me. That’s how fear has always worked.

I was just about to get set back up when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

It was Debbie.

She was walking towards me slowly, a slight smile on her beautiful face. My first instinct was to run over to her, but I didn’t want to come on too strongly and make her think I’d been doing nothing but thinking about her the past few days, which was totally true.

It was a stupid game, and for whatever reason I felt obligated to continue playing it. I should have just told her exactly how I felt.

“Hey,” Debbie said.

“Hey,” I replied.

“Everything ok? I heard a commotion…” Debbie said.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. I thought about telling her how close I’d come to being trampled, but I didn’t really see the need.

“How is everything with you?” I asked.

“Good,” Debbie said.

I nodded and neither one of us said anything for a minute.

Finally, I realized it was my place. I’d messed up. I had to apologize.

“Honey, I’m so sorry about everything,” I said. “I’ll make it right.”

“Well, I handled it really poorly. I don’t know what is wrong with me lately, but I went a bit nuts.”

“No, you had every right to be mad. I messed up. I’ve missed you,” I said.

Debbie smiled and stepped closer.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said.

I pulled her closely right then and planted a sweet kiss on her soft, luscious lips.

I’d been thinking about this since we parted the other night. Hell, I’d barely even slept that night. If she only knew how badly I wanted to pick up the phone and call her in the middle of the night… but I knew it was best to give her some space and let things cool down. Then we could talk things out rationally. The idea of time healing is cliché, but it has always been true in my opinion and experience. Sometimes all you need is time.

“So, how is practice?” Debbie asked when our lips finally parted.

“Not bad,” I lied. It had been pretty rough going all  morning, but hopefully now that this was settled my mind would be a lot more clear. “I was just about to do another run,” I said.

“Ok,” Debbie replied. “I’ll bet you do great.”

I nodded to Joe and one of the handlers who were now positioning the bull back inside the chute. I got prepared and climbed over the fence and slowly down on to the bull who instantly went nuts and started to thrash about.

But my mind was now clear. I wasn’t nervous or afraid even though I’d just gone through something pretty rough. Debbie and I were good, so now I felt really confident. Everything felt like it was coming back into order.

I was ready.

The chute opened up and the bull started to thrash around, almost as badly as last time. But I was ready. My grip was solid and I was not letting go no matter what. There was no way I was bailing out of this one. I was going to ride it all the way to the end. If I could ride this bull then I could ride anything they threw at me during the tournament for sure.

I tried to drown out everything around me. The noises of the arena, the cheers from a few onlookers, and I tried to forget about Debbie. I could see her out of the corner of my eye. She was so happy watching me ride. I believed it turned her on a bit to see me doing something I loved so much and I loved to see her get turned on, so it was kind of a win-win situation.

As I rode I found my mind drifting for some reason to why I hadn’t told Debbie about using her and everybody she knew as characters in my book. I’d initially only used them to loosely base the characters on but over time I actually started to just write them. I hadn’t even realized it until she brought it to my attention.

I spent several hours poring over it that night and I realized that she was right. I had done something very stupid. I’m sure I would have realized it during revisions and edits and made the changes then, but Debbie wasn’t interested in that. She was angered and rightfully so that I had betrayed her trust. Reading through my own manuscript I couldn’t believe I’d put some of the intimate details about Debbie and I in the book. What the hell was I thinking?

Letting your mind wander during a dangerous activity like bullfighting is a guaranteed way to have a disaster happen.

Which is probably why I didn’t see the snake in time.

Suddenly, the bull froze up, stopping in its tracks. It rose its body up in the air and tried to turn back around.

I could feel that the bull was falling backwards. I knew it was going to land on its back and crush me beneath it. I instantly did the only thing I could think of that made sense right then.

I jumped off the bull trying to land as far away from its projected path as possible.

It helped a little but in the end my efforts were futile.

The ground met my back with a sharp thud that pounded through my shoulder blades and the back of my neck. I was in pain. My neck and head being drilled by sharp agony rushing up and down my body, but I had no time to feel the pain. I had to move.

Jerking my body away with everything I had left I was able to move just out of the reach of the bull as it fell to its back. In a flash it was on its feet thrashing about.

Before I could get out of the way its rear leg connected with my thigh sending me crashing to the ground.

My leg might have been broken. It was the worst pain I’d ever felt and it was moving rapidly back and forth across the length of my leg, but the pain seemed to be centralized on my lower thigh and into my knee.

“Paul! Watch out!”

I heard Debbie’s screams cutting through the air and reaching my eardrums.

A split second later I saw the bull above me. Its front legs were raised up in the air. There was madness in its eyes. I had no time. There was nowhere to escape.

The bull’s large hooves came down towards me with incredible speed. This was it. I was not going to escape or get off easy this time. I was doomed and there was no way out of it.

Debbie was going to watch me get trampled. She was going to see the horrible things that happened to me and it might never leave her mind. This thought saddened me so much more than the idea that I might be about to lose my life.

I couldn’t bear for Debbie to experience any sorrow or suffering. There had to be a way… some way I could spare her this.

But there wasn’t. There was no time.

Suddenly, my body jerked away from the animal by some magnificent force. The blast pulled my arms so hard I could have sworn they’d blown out there sockets. The pain was unreal, but my body was out of range of the bull’s hooves as they crashed to the ground, just missing me.

“Get up!”

Joe’s voice roared in my ear.

I did my best to leap to my feet but my body felt like it had been through the ringer and there was a sharp, stabbing pain in my leg, especially the ankle area. I didn’t remember getting hit there, but it hurt like hell.

Joe and one of the handlers named Tony helped me over to a door in the fence and escorted me quickly through it before locking it behind us.

The bull continued to go nuts just on the other side of the fence. I could tell it was really angry that it missed the chance to trample and possibly kill me.

And it would have happened if it weren’t for Joe and Tony. How they had gotten there so fast was beyond me, but I had learned long before to never question gifts like these.

I’d been given another chance at life.

Now I was even more determined not to let one second of my life go to waste. It was really too short. Every minute now felt like borrowed time.