Chapter Ten – Rebekah

“What is with you?” Mya insists as we get our first second alone after a really intense practice session. “Your head is all over the place at the moment. The Pistons are headed to the finals, probably, we need to be on form.”

I can feel an intense blush forming my cheeks as she says that. It’s been really hard to keep things from her and Amber, but I’ve done it because it’s what’s right for me and Bryn, but now… well now he’s thinking into the future. Last night he made a comment about me meeting his father. It might have only been a couple of weeks, but it’s been such an intense time that I can understand why everything is accelerated. We can’t keep away from one another, we’re addicted, and that feeling only keeps getting stronger and stronger. It’s going to last.

“Are you seeing someone?” Mya continues. “Only, you’ve been so unavailable recently. I don’t know why.”

I bite down on my bottom lip, unable to believe that I’m actually doing this, then I nod. Mya is my best friend here, I’m closer to her than anyone else. I feel like I can definitely trust her as well. If there’s anyone I can tell, it’s her. “Yes, I am but it’s a real secret,” I whisper. “You cannot tell anyone about it, okay? Anyone.”

There’s a freeing sensation as I let I out, it feels good to tell someone about this. I’m so enjoying my time with Bryn but it’s like a big weight on my shoulders that I can’t tell anyone else. I have to. I need to share this now.

“Sure.” Mya sidles closer to me. “You know that I won’t tell anyone. Come on, spill the beans now.”

“It’s… someone from the team.” I want her to know what she’s getting into before I speak.

“Oh, my goodness.” Mya clasps her hands to her mouth in shock. “It’s James, isn’t it? That’s why Tia is…”

“No,” I shoot her down before she can run with that idea. “It isn’t James… it’s Bryn.”

Her face turns a funny shade of white before she regains herself. “Oh wow, that’s crazy.”

“Did you not know?” I can’t believe that she didn’t pick up on that. “I thought it was obvious.”

Mya shakes her head. I seems that she didn’t even see what was going on when I raced away after Bryn once he was in trouble. Maybe I’m much more discrete than I thought I was. I’m amazed by that.

“No, I didn’t know anything. I’m impressed. I mean, Bryn? Are you serious? He’s so… closed off.”

I smile to myself. “He isn’t like that with me. He’s a completely different person. He’s incredibly open and honest. He’s sweet, he’s kind, he’s very funny, he’s actually really wonderful.” I feel proud as I say this.

“Wow, that’s… I’m shocked, but it sounds like a good thing. I’m happy that you’re happy.”

We share a smile and I feel really good that I shared with her. She’s such an awesome person and now I have someone to talk to about all of this. I can share the best thing that’s ever happened to me which makes me so freaking happy. I can let all of this joy out of my mouth and lighten the load of it.

“Oh, my fucking God!” All of a sudden, Tia’s nasty voice makes me jump. “I knew it, I just knew it.” As I spin quickly I realize that she’s close… much too close. She definitely heard something. The question is what? “I just knew it, you act all high and mighty, like you aren’t a total hoe bag, but you are! You’re a fucking slut.” She looks delighted, her entire expression is one of a sick, sadistic glee. I can picture her really enjoying torturing victims in her basement. “Not content with James, now you’re screwing Bryn. Fucking hell!”

She’s yelling so loudly, everyone can hear her. It makes my stomach fall out of my ass as I watch her share my most prized secret with everyone else. This is why I shouldn’t have told anyone. What an idiot! My blood runs icy cold as I think about Bryn when he realizes that everyone knows. There’s no reasoning with Tia, she won’t keep things quiet because I ask her to. In fact, if I let her know that I don’t want others to find out, she’ll delight in spreading the news. That will be the most dreadful thing in the whole entire world.

“No,” I rasp out. “No, no, no.” I shake my hands in front of my face, but Tia laughs again. “No, it isn’t.”

“Wow, you really are something else.” She sneers nastily, glancing around the room to get back up, which this time she seems to. “You do know that it’s against the rules, don’t you? The players are off limits.”

“But you…” She’s slept with James, hasn’t she? I’m sure I heard that. Maybe I was wrong.

“I what?” She leans forward, winking at me as she does. “You might have heard something, but that’s hearsay. You can’t convict someone over rumors. I’ve just heard you admitting it, blatantly. That’s evidence.”

She’s confusing me, I don’t know what the rules are. Maybe she’s right. I take a step backwards, fearing the retribution. I really don’t want to lose this job, I love being a cheerleader, this is terrible.

“Please,” I beg Tia, probably pointlessly. “Please, don’t do this… don’t stop me…”

“Oh, fucking hell, give it a rest, will you?” She rolls her eyes dramatically at me. “Don’t be so ridiculous. Just stop fucking the boys on the team, okay? It isn’t good for any of us. Especially if they start playing like shit, and since you seem to be such a distraction that seems very likely. We’re here to boost them, nothing else.”

She seems to be jealous of me, and I don’t know why. I’m not sure why someone who looks like her would be envious of me. She isn’t interested in Bryn anyway, is she? She’s not shown any signs of wanting him.

“Y… yeah, okay. I, erm, I will s… stop.” I feel like an idiot, this is horrible. “It won’t…”

But Tia seems bored of me now. She turns away and starts talking to Flo as if I’m insignificant. My heart is racing, my tummy is churning, my whole body is utterly freaking out. I glance to Mya, who gives me a sympathetic look, but what can she do? There isn’t anything. I got myself into this mess, I have to get out of it.

“Right,” I whisper to Mya as tears ball in my eyes. “I have to get out of here, okay?”

I don’t wait for an answer, I turn and run, terrified how this is going to affect things now. I need to get to Bryn before anyone else does, I need to tell him what’s happened so we can plan what to say next. If we’re going to survive this, then we need to do it together. We need to face the world arm in arm, one solid unit.

***

It takes me a while to find Bryn and as soon as I see him I know that it’s too late. His expression is one of thunder, he can barely even meet my eyes, I get this horrible sickening sensation inside. Fucking Tia. I didn’t want her to hear about this, all I wanted to do was talk to my friend. This really sucks. I utterly hate this.

“I’m sorry…” I reach out to grab hold of him but he takes a step backwards. “I didn’t mean…”

“Rebekah, I’m sorry.” He won’t look at me, he’s refusing to. “I have to lift my performance up, I’m not playing to the standard that I’m supposed to.” Huh? His words seem out of place in the conversation, so much so that I don’t know what to say. I clamp my lips shut together to keep me silent. “I have to practice some more tonight. I need to get to the gym, I can’t spend the night with you. I’m really sorry, okay?”

Wow… his defensiveness causes me to fall back. Now, I understand. He doesn’t want to be a dick and tell me that he doesn’t want to see me anymore because of everyone talking, so he’s making an excuse. He’s taking the coward’s way out and pretending that it’s basketball that’s keeping us apart. I thought that we were closer than that, I thought his walls had come down, but now it seems like they’re higher than ever. He’s blocking me out.

“Okay…” I reply slowly. I need to work out exactly how deep this runs. “So, not tonight.”

“No.” He shakes his head determinedly. The look reminds me of the way his face was when he wanted to end things before. I managed to talk him around then, but this time I’ve done something wrong so I don’t know if I’ll be able to win him around so easily. I have a terrible, sinking feeling. “Not tonight.”

“So, tomorrow?” I cock my head curiously. “Do you think we can hang out then?”

He shrugs and glances towards the door. He has the look of a caged tiger who’s desperate for an escape But, from me? I don’t understand it. I know why he’s doing it, rationally I understand, but inside I’m freaking out. I don’t get it. We’ve been so good together, how can he want to throw that away?

“I don’t know.” He’s closed, the door is locked, I’m not getting through. “I don’t know what I need to do.” He sighs, sounding exasperated with me. “I just need some time, okay? I need some space.”

He looks at me, our eyes connect, and for a second, I feel like I might be about to get through to him. Surely, he cannot look at me and carry on down this route, can he? That chemistry, the connection between us, it’s too powerful for him to turn his back on it. Hope blooms in my chest, I can feel the flowers growing… but then he drags his gaze away and he walks towards the door, taking all my happiness with him.

“Bryn!” I call out to him, sounding more desperate than I would like. “Bryn, no!”

This isn’t us tackling the together, this is us splitting apart. He might not have said that he wants to break up with me, but it seems that’s where we’re going with this. I don’t know if there’s any way we can get back to where we were after this. Is it even possible? Especially since he won’t even turn back to see me.

I stand panting where I am for a couple of moments, balling my fists up by my side while my brain snaps from decision to decision. I need to make some sort of decision about what to do here… do I walk away with dignity, keep my pride and my head held high, or do I chase after him and beg him to give us a chance?

In the end, I decide to go for neither of those things. I remain where I am, I don’t fight right away, but I also know that I won’t give up. I’ll let Bryn stew and I’ll wait in the wings. Soon he’ll come back to us, I’m sure of it. Our relationship is too strong and powerful to leave behind forever. If I felt that strongly for him, then he must have for me too. After all, he was the one wanting to introduce me to his Dad. Gossip isn’t stronger than that.

I need to dig out that patience again, I need to wait just a little while longer. But that’s what I’ll do. For him. I know now for sure that he’s worth it. I won’t panic, I won’t freak out, I’ll try and keep as calm as possible.

It’s all going to be fine… it’ll be okay, honestly.