Sweetie Ty
Reviewer ranking: #1,162,358
12% helpful
votes received on reviews
Reviewed
Women’s Silver and Diamond Dress Watch
$475
As pictured
March 14
This is a totally hot “everyday” watch because it goes with everything thanks to the silver tone. It’s an excellent choice in this price range, which of course not many can afford, but sometimes a girl needs a little pick-me-up.
I received many compliments while wearing this watch to school yesterday. The links are adjustable to fit any size wrist, even a very slim one like mine (I wear size 00, so finding clothes/jewelry that fits is nearly impossible).
One potential problem with this watch might be that it’s TOO sparkly. Because even my homeroom teacher noticed me wearing it!
And that four-eyed troll never notices anything.
She went, “Where’d you get that watch, Ty?” and I was like, “None of your business,” because I didn’t want her to know I borrowed my mom’s credit card out of her wallet to buy it off this site.
But of course she must have fully suspected something was amiss since she told the principal who called my mom (everyone in this school, for which my parents pay $20,000 a year in tuition each for me and my brother, is a narc).
So then my mom came to school—my dad couldn’t because he owns a restaurant and he’s always really busy. My mom’s just a lawyer—and asked where I got the watch.
Since I couldn’t tell her the truth, she decided I must have shoplifted it.
LOL can you believe it? My own mom thinks I’m a full on thief.
If only she knew the kind of crap my brother Tony Jr. does on a daily basis. She’d completely freak. Tony Jr.’s only goal is to be OG—original gangster.
I’ve told Tony Jr. that that isn’t a very practical goal. At the very least he should learn a skill that will enable him to get a job that pays him enough money to live in a climate where the sun shines over 300 days a year. Seasonal Affective Disorder and lack of Vitamin D due to our harsh winters are at nearly epidemic proportions in this part of the Midwest.
But Tony Jr. never listens to me, which is sad because I’m in almost all AP classes and got a 1600 once when I took a practice SAT for fun.
Anyway, now I’m grounded, and Mom took my phone.
Thank God she didn’t think of taking my tablet, though, because then I wouldn’t be able to write this, or follow the Instagram feed of my perfect bae, Harry Styles.
But Mom’s got way bigger problems now than me. I’m not talking about my brother Tony Jr., either.
No, it turns out my grandma and grandpa, of all people, went to jail for dining and ditching. LOL!
So now my uncle Reed is here in town because of the “incident,” which kind of sucks because he’s never visited before and I’m grounded, and he’s a way famous professional golfer.
No one famous ever comes to this town, except this super old rock ‘n roll star named John Cougar Mellencamp, who no one has ever even heard of and who has never even set foot on stage with my bae, Harry Styles. He got a flat tire here once, and bought a bottled water from the Mobil gas station.
I’ve never gotten to meet anyone famous, including my uncle Reed, since my mom wouldn’t let me be a flower girl at Uncle Marshall and Aunt Carly’s wedding.
And now I won’t get to meet him because not only am I being punished for allegedly stealing a bracelet, but my mom won’t let us go to my uncle Marshall’s house where my uncle Reed is staying, since she says my cousins are weird, just because one of them dresses like an Indian chief all the time, which I actually think is kind of cute, but my mom says is a sign of bad parenting.
My mom also thinks we might get lice because my cousins go to public school, which isn’t exactly fair, since my friend Sundae’s brother got lice, and he goes to our school, which is private. He got lice from taking a selfie with a girl in the mall who had lice.
But when I told my mom that, she said the girl at the mall probably went to public school.
The whole thing is totally unfair because I saw on a gossip site that one time Uncle Reed was at a party with Ava Kuznetsov, the famous model.
Well, maybe not WITH with her, but she was there with her husband, this other golfer.
And once Ava Kuznetsov was at another party where my perfect bae, Harry Styles, was photographed leaving by the backdoor.
So that means in a way, my uncle Reed KNOWS Harry Styles.
But when I tried to tell my mom that, and that I HAD to go over to Uncle Marshall’s tonight, my mom said that she didn’t care, and that Uncle Reed is a “bad influence.”
Which is kind of hilaire, because look at me! I’m a total juvenile delinquent.
And it’s clear from whom I inherited my criminal tendencies:
Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Reed!
Which basically means nothing I do is my fault. It’s in my genes.
Oh well. I’d sneak out later, but if I get caught, Mom says she’ll take away my door. That’s her new thing. She saw it on Dr. Phil. When parents have taken everything else from their kids, like all their electronics and their freedom and stuff, and they STILL do bad stuff, then they should take away their door, so they don’t have privacy, either.
LOL! Whatever, Dr. Phil. I’m sure that will work. How about having parents try not being such total a**holes who are on their Facebook pages all the time and only think about themselves and how many likes they have and never spend any quality time with their kids? Did you ever think of that?
Oh, I guess not.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this review as much as I enjoy this watch, b*tches!
2 of 10 people found this review helpful