The Boy Is Back by Meg Cabot (39)

From: Dolly Vargas [email protected]

Date: March 18 2:42:40 PM EST

To: Reed [email protected]

Subject: Lyrexica Offer

Reed, I could kiss you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for the roses.

But thank you even more for agreeing—finally—to the Lyrexica deal. You aren’t going to regret this, I promise. The residuals alone are going to keep us in roses for years. Every time they play your little commercial, you’re going to get a check. Ka-ching.

And they’re going to play it a LOT, because you know how men are about their hair. Well, you probably don’t, because you have all yours. But other men.

I can finally buy that little house in Tuscany I’ve been dying for! After I pay off my louse of an ex-husband, I mean.

We are going to be rich, my darling, so rich!

I love you, I worship you, you are my everything, goodbye and good luck at the Golden Palms, you’re going to win, I feel it in my bones.

XOXOX

Dolly

Dolly Vargas

Vargas Talent Management

Los Angeles, CA

From: Trimble [email protected]&Stewart.com

Date: March 18 4:10:25 PM EST

To: Reed [email protected]

Subject: You

This letter is to inform you that if you do not cease and desist meddling in the affairs of me and my family, I will take legal action against you.

These actions may include but may not be limited to:

• contacting law enforcement to obtain criminal sanctions against you

• suing you civilly for damages I have incurred as a result of your actions

• anything else that I decide.

Again, you must IMMEDIATELY STOP. You risk incurring some very severe legal consequences if you fail to comply with this demand.

None of this would be happening, Reed, if you’d just stayed out of it. My financial affairs with Mom and Dad are my own business. They were HEARTBROKEN when you left town, and giving money to me and my family made them feel better. Your interference now is only hurting them, not me.

This letter acts as your final warning to discontinue this unwanted conduct before I pursue legal actions against you.

This is your FINAL CHANCE, Reed, before I exercise my rights.

Sincerely,

Trimble Stewart-Antonelli

Attorney at Law

Stewart & Stewart, LLC

1911 South Moore Pike

Bloomville, IN 47401

(812) 555-9721

www.stewart&stewart.com

From: Reed [email protected]

Date: March 18 4:38:25 PM EST

To: Trimble [email protected]&Stewart.com

Subject: You

Thanks for the letter, Trimble. I’m going to make sure Marshall, Carly, and Mom and Dad’s new bankruptcy lawyer get copies of it, since in it, you basically acknowledge in writing that you’ve been fleecing our parents for years.

Not that we needed any more evidence of that. I’ve got plenty of it already.

But it does solve one mystery that’s been bothering me:

What was it that Mom and Dad felt so guilty about that they’d hand so much of their money over to you?

Now I know: My leaving.

I bet you played that one to the hilt, didn’t you? You were always good at the dramatics. You probably told them if they didn’t help you and Tony out financially, you’d leave, too, just like baby brother Reed did. After Tony Junior and Ty were born, that threat worked even better. I bet it got them good and panicked. You really piled on the guilt, didn’t you?

Well, it won’t work on them anymore. Because I’m back.

And unfortunately for you, I’m staying.

Don’t worry about our parents, though. Marshall and I have their backs. Did you know the IRS takes payment plans? It’s true! It turns out they aren’t any more anxious than Shenanigans to put senior citizens in jail.

Please take all the legal action you want against me. I’ll enjoy it. I’ll litigate right back.

Your not so loving brother,

Reed

From: Lyle [email protected]

Date: March 18 5:48:22 PM EST

To: Reed [email protected]>

Subject: Congratulations

Dearest Reed,

I understand from my brother, with whom I spoke today for the first time in a long time, that congratulations are in order? You and Ms. Flowers are now—how does one put it in today’s parlance?—an item?

I’m very pleased for you both.

Your father also tells me that you’ll be residing in Bloomville for half of the year, and in Florida for the rest. I think this is a sensible plan. I never thought the California lifestyle suited you, and I agree with your accountant that for those with an income at a certain level, taxes here can be quite painful.

And how nice that you’ll be near your parents in Florida, and that Ms. Flowers’s business takes her there so often, as well.

I will miss you, of course, but perhaps I, too, will consider relocating to Florida. The weather there is wonderful year round for growing orchids.

(My Phalaenopsis amabilis took first place, by the way, in both its category and overall.)

I was sorry to hear, however, that your sister’s marriage is not doing well. But to be frank, I’m surprised that relationship lasted this long.

I have no such concerns for you and Ms. Flowers. You have always been a person who loved long, and loved steadfastly—when you chose to love at all.

You will, I hope, have a large wedding, and not one of those foolish small affairs . . . or worse, an elopement. There really are only two occasions for which families gather together anymore, and only one of them is happy, if you know what I mean.

Thank you for providing us with a happy one, and preventing us—in the form of rescuing my brother and his wife—from the other.

Yours very sincerely,

Uncle Lyle