THE NEXT FEW WEEKS at the gym were absolutely crazy. Every day that O’Connell trained, we could feel magic in the air. It was as though we were all part of something really special. O’Connell had so much fight and endless determination that it made us better just to be around him. For nine hours a day, six days a week, O’Connell trained RELENTLESSLY. Not once did Danny give him so much as an inch, and not once did O’Connell complain about it. If Danny said ten more sit-ups then that was exactly what he did. If Danny said that push-ups were to be one-handed, even when O’Connell was dead on his feet, then that was exactly what he did. Danny demanded, and O’Connell delivered. By the time that fight week arrived, O’Connell was sparring for ten rounds then combining half bag with half mitt work. Danny had been tapering that off as the week went on, ostensibly to allow O’Connell’s body to recuperate before the fight. Today was Thursday and weigh-in day. I didn’t get to go to the gym where it was taking place. Danny told me that it was because he was paying me good money to be working tonight and not skiving. I thought it was mean, enough that I poked my tongue out at him when he left the room. Still, I wasn’t brave enough to argue to his face. Secretly, I suspected that he didn’t want me somewhere where I would be so deeply out of my element. I couldn’t say that being left behind was any better, though. Walking through the gym was creepy. Usually bustling with life and energy, the speedballs were still and the bags hung lifelessly from the ceiling. Nearly all of the guys were at the weigh-in as a show of support for O’Connell. A few of the younger guys, that Danny wouldn’t let follow him, were allocated menial tasks around the place, and Mac had stayed to supervise. It was patently obvious that the bunch of fifteen-year-olds currently cleaning the shower room didn’t need Mac’s level of supervision. After his fifth time of checking on me in two hours, it became clear who he was really babysitting. Danny’s sense of chivalry was working overtime again, it seemed. He was out of luck, though, if he thought he was getting his money’s worth from me. I’d been like a cat on a hot tin roof all night, and it was only the weigh-in. There was absolutely no way that he was keeping me away from the fight tomorrow. A knock on my door pulled me back down to earth. Mac opened it and popped his head around. If he asked me if I needed anything one more time, I was going to throw something at him.
“They’re back.” He grinned.
I pushed my chair back from the desk, stood up, and raced around the door as he pushed it open further for me. O’Connell, Kieran, Tommy, and most of the older guys were stood around laughing and shooting the breeze.
“How did it go?” I asked them all, still hyped up from the anticipation of waiting for them for half the night.
“Two hundred and twenty pounds, exactly,” O’Connell replied with a grin, as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side.
“Is that good?” I asked. I was little confused by this new pugilist world that I’d been plunged into.
“Absolutely. Same stats as Foreman in his prime,” Kieran replied enthusiastically.
“Mmm. Foreman was the one who made the grills right?” Literally everyone looked at me and burst out laughing. Great. Halfway through a degree in applied mathematics, and I managed to sound like a complete moron.
“Yes, he’s the one with the grills, but he’s also one of the greatest fighters who ever lived. He was my height and two twenty was his weight in the prime of his career. It’s a good omen.”
I nodded shyly, not wanting to embarrass myself any further. Danny came barrelling through the door at a speed that belied his size.
“All right, you lot. I don’t know why you’re all patting yourselves on the back ‘cause he made weight. He still has to win the feckin’ fight yet.”
The guys chuckled, suitably chastised. But in all honesty, they were like kids on Christmas Eve, full of excitement and energy but no patience.
“Right, then. You all know what time it is, so make yourselves presentable and let’s get going. That includes you, sunshine. Mac round up the other boys. Cleaning time is over. Ten minutes and I’m locking this place up.”
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Church,” Tommy enlightened me.
I figured that this was a metaphor for something else and having embarrassed myself already tonight, I decided to keep my mouth shut.
“Go and get your coat and bag, love. I’ll walk you home after,” O’Connell told me gently. He hadn’t called me that many times before, and if it was possible, my heart just sighed. I turned off my computer, grabbed my stuff, and met them outside. Danny turned off the lights and locked the doors behind me. Our rag tag group of misfits ambled down the road to who-knew-where, with me safely tucked into O’Connell’s side. Fifteen minutes later, we were walking up the steps to St Paul’s Catholic Church.
“Shit. You really did mean church. I haven’t been to church since I was little,” I squeaked.
“No feckin’ swearing in church,” Danny barked at me, throwing his cigarette away.
I figured that this must be a serious religious occasion because it had only been half smoked. The church was empty as we all went inside, and the guys all sat down on the last two rows at the back of the church. Not knowing what to do, I sat down with them. The sound of a door closing echoed across the cavernous ceiling, and I looked around to see a priest, not much younger than Danny, walking purposefully toward us.
“Hello, Danny,” he greeted, shaking Danny’s hand vigorously.
“Not much longer now till the big day. Is he ready?”
“Of course, he is, Father,” Danny replied.
“Good,” the priest said, “because I’ve got a fiver on him with Father Mulvey over at St Joe’s, so he’ll be in my prayers tomorrow.”
I was slightly scandalised that a priest was betting and, worse still, condoning fighting so that he could capitalise on it, but O’Connell only smiled as he listened to Danny and the priest talk.
“Right then, boys. Who’s going first?”
Tommy stood and shook the priest’s hand.
“Ah, Tommy. You’re usually the longest. You’re better off going first.”
They walked off together into a room with a thick, mahogany door, built into the panelling of the wall.
“Where are they going?” I whispered to O’Connell, whilst keeping an eye on Danny for fear of another telling off.
“Confession,” he replied.
“Why?”
“Danny figures that to win in the ring you need to go in with a clear heart and a clear head. We tell Father Patrick what’s on our mind and all the things we’re sorry for and he gives us absolution. Then we spend all our time after the fight committing more sin ready for the fight,” he explained.
“But it’s only you fighting. Why is everyone else here?”
“Doesn’t matter who’s fighting, even if it’s one of the kids. When one of us goes into the ring, everyone from Danny’s is with them.”
Whether they realised it or not, they were Danny’s family and he was theirs. One by one, the guys went in to see Father Patrick. By the time the last of the kids was done, I was more than ready to leave. Don’t get me wrong, the church itself was beautiful, but I felt out of place here. I was an intruder eavesdropping on a ritual that I had no part of. This was a part of Danny’s relationship with the guys, and I didn’t understand why he’d brought me.
“Emily, are you ready?” Father Patrick’s accent was broader than Danny’s, and I wondered if they were from the same part of Ireland.
“I’m sorry, Father, ready for what?” I asked confused.
“Confession, my dear,” he replied with a smile. I felt the first fluttering of panic, as I was cornered.
“But...but I’m not a practicing Catholic,” I stuttered.
“Never mind, dear, nobody is perfect.”
He stood patiently as he waited for me to follow him. I turned to O’Connell who squeezed my hand, clearly expecting me to go through with this. Sensing that I had no other option, I stood and walked with the priest to the side of the church. Behind the door was a small anti-room with two chairs facing one another.
“Have a seat,” he invited, as he sat down.
“Now, don’t worry, I won’t be asking you for a confession. But I did think that it would be nice for us to have a chat. Now tell me how you ended up tagging along with that lot.”
I explained how Danny had given me the job, and he nodded thoughtfully.
“Do you have any family yourself, Emily?” he asked when I’d finished. Technically, I still did, but I’d never think of them as family again. It felt wrong lying to a priest, though, and my cheeks reddened as I became flustered.
“No one who means anything to me anymore,” I answered at last. He nodded as though he understood.
“Well, now. It seems that God has given you a new family, doesn’t it. It must be a difficult adjustment, though, to go from being on your own to having a large new family, and an Irish one at that.”
This wasn’t really a question, but he looked at me as though he expected an answer.
“They are lovely. Loud and brash and rude, but lovely. I don’t really think I’m considered part of their family, though,” I explained.
“You know, I have known Danny for a very long time and in all that time no woman has been invited to join them here. That tells me all I need to know about how close to being family you are.” His words warmed me, even if I didn’t quite believe them.
“I wouldn’t exactly say that I was invited,” I corrected. “Danny told me to come, and I came.”
“Well,” he chuckled, “that is Danny’s way, isn’t it. You can be sure that for all their talk they will look after you, you know. It takes time to trust people, and faith is a difficult thing to come by, but you’ll get there. And if you need to talk to me about anything, I want you to know that whatever you say will always stay between these four walls.”
“I appreciate that, Father.”
I liked Father Patrick. I didn’t know him well enough to trust him with anything personal about myself, but I appreciated the gesture.
“So, are you nervous about the fight, child. You know, with Con being your man and all?” Seriously! Even O’Connell’s priest thought we were a couple.
“He’s not my man. Not really. We’re just friends.”
Father Patrick smiled indulgently at me.
“Well, we’ll keep that to ourselves shall we? Con is under the distinct impression that if you’re not now, then you soon will be, and I’d really like to win my bet. Then again, maybe you should labour the point just before the fight to make him good and mad.”
“Father!” I exclaimed, scandalised. “That’s terrible!”
He laughed out loud at my reaction and smacked his knee with amusement.
“Kieran was right. You’re so easy to wind up.” He carried on laughing until I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’ve known Cormac O’Connell since he was a lad, wet behind the ears and full of mouth and mischief. Bet or no bet, there’s no one in his corner that will be prouder of him than me, save maybe Danny. That’s what family is. No matter what, they will always be in your corner as you may choose to stand in theirs. Now, is there anything else troubling you or anything that you want to ask?” I bit my lip nervously as I contemplated how to ask him.
“Actually Father, I could use your help with something.”
O’CONNELL WALKED ME home later that night, and he seemed calmer than before, as though the meeting with Father Patrick had settled him down.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” I asked him.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been more ready for a fight. The hard part is the waiting. Danny doesn’t let me train the day before a fight, other than a few warm-up drills a few hours before. You’re in uni and Kieran’s working, so I’m just gonna watch a few old fights on tape, maybe listen to some music, and get my head where it needs to be.”
“I can skip class tomorrow if you want me to,” I offered, even though I’d never missed a single class since I’d been here.
“I love that you’re so smart,” he told me. “Your eyes light up when you talk about school. It means to you what boxing means to me, so I don’t want you to miss a single class for me. As long as you’re at the fight, I’ll be good.”
“Did Danny say it was okay for me to come?” I asked him worriedly. I didn’t want to watch the fight, but after yesterday, I didn’t think that I could just sit at home waiting, either.
“Don’t you worry about Danny,” he told me.
He didn’t really answer my question, but I trusted that he’d square it with Danny. We made it to my building and stopped.
“Can I stay here tonight?” he asked sheepishly, as though he thought I’d say no. I assumed that he’d be going back to Kieran’s to sleep, so I was surprised that he asked. I couldn’t help but be excited at the thought of spending another night with him, but I knew it wasn’t fair to lead him on.
“Just as friends,” I reminded him, and he grinned doing some weird version of the scouts honour sign.
“Just as friends,” he agreed.
“I have to get up for class tomorrow, though. Won’t I disturb you?” I was reluctant to drive him away, but I also didn’t want to ruin his last decent rest before the fight.
“Sunshine, I’m going to be awake at the crack of dawn tomorrow. That’s if I get any sleep at all,” he explained, as we climbed the stairs to my apartment.
“Do you always get nervous before a fight?” I asked curiously, surprised when he scoffed.
“I’ve never been nervous before. I usually just drink a bit less before a fight, crash, and then wake up and beat the shit out of someone.”
“Then why are you nervous now?” He shrugged his shoulders as we walked into my apartment.
“It’s different this time,” he finally answered. “Danny’s invested a lot of time in me, and I’m worried about letting him down. I’ve given up my job, so without this, I have no income. If I fuck up tomorrow, I could lose my chance at sponsorship and...,” he trailed off, like he didn’t want to carry on.
“...and what?” I pressed.
“I promised you that I’d make something of myself. I don’t want to fuck this up.”
He gestured between us, and for the first time since I’d known him, he didn’t look cocky. He looked absolutely terrified. There was no way that he could go in the ring like this; he’d be crushed. All of that training turned his body into a machine, but without his head in the right place, I knew he’d get hurt. And that thought made my insides cramp up. He sat down dejectedly on my bed, but I stood in front of him until he looked up at me.
“Whenever you’ve lost before, has Danny ever refused to train you?”
He frowned as he contemplated my question.
“No, but I’ve never lost a fight before.”
“What, never?” I asked, shocked.
He shook his head. “When we were kids, he used to let the older kids whale on us a bit to toughen us up. But as far as fighting in matches, then no, I’ve never lost.”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, he’d never lost a fight.
“Okay,” I sighed, “but you’ve known Danny nearly your whole life. Do you think he’d give up on you, or any of his boys, if he knew that you tried your best?”
“No, I guess not,” he replied, honestly.
“There’s no guarantee that you would be picked up by sponsors even if you win, and if they’re going to be at tomorrow’s fight, then they’ll be at other fights. Even if you don’t make it, fighting isn’t your only option, you know. I’m sure that Kieran could get you another construction job, and if that doesn’t make you happy, at least it will give you an income. You could always do some night classes while you decide what else you want to do.”
He sighed. “I’m no good at book learning stuff. I don’t have any qualifications.”
“Don’t be afraid of something different. If you need to go back to school to be who you want to be then I’ll help you.”
He put his hands around my waist and pulled me toward him as he leant his head against my stomach. Doing what I had wanted to do to his messy, dishevelled spikes since I’d known him, I ran my fingers soothingly through his hair, and he groaned.
“And if I fuck this up between us?” he asked.
“I can’t think of anything you could do that would make me want to call time to our friendship. But you and I have absolutely nothing to do with what goes on in that ring tomorrow. There’s just him and you and nothing else outside of that, okay? You’re in a good place. If nothing else, think about the fact that he’s trying to take that away from you, and you know what you said you’d do if anyone tried that, right?”
He lifted his head to look at me, and grinned. “I’ll decimate them.”
I smiled, pleased that he was in the right frame of mind to fight again. I leaned down slightly and kissed the top of his head, though I didn’t have to lean far. Even sitting down he was almost as tall as I was. Letting him go, I took off my coat and went to hang it on the back of the door.
“You kissed me,” O’Connell called after me. “Friends don’t kiss.”
“I’m reliably informed that’s not the case. Kieran and I kiss all the time,” I called back deadpan.
“You’re fucking kidding me.” He frowned, looking perfectly ready to get in the ring and go a few rounds. I leaned back and smiled at him to let him know that I was joking.
“Oh, baby. You’re in so much trouble if you’re gonna start using all my lines.”
I giggled when he looked like he was going to come after me.
“Please...,” I begged, “I’m starving.”
He relented at that, and I knew he’d never let me go hungry.
“You get a free pass for now, but any more winding me up about Kieran, and I plan on finding out how many parts of that gorgeous body of yours are ticklish.” A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of his hands all over me, but then my stomach growled and ruined the moment.
“Behave,” I warned. “Besides, if you’re nice to me, I might have a present for you.”
At the look of pure shock on his face, I’d almost be willing to bet that he’d never been given a present before.