Past
My feet dangle from the bed of Linc’s pickup, parked near the railroad tracks. We spend almost every Saturday night here. Usually we come with Rachel and Will but tonight it’s just the two of us.
“What are your plans after we graduate? Do you ever think about that?” Linc asks, looking up into the star-filled sky.
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. It feels like my parents are constantly on my ass now, and I just don’t know. There was a time when I thought I wanted to be a nurse. I love to help people, but I don’t think I can ever get over my fear of needles.”
“I bet I could help you,” he says, nudging my shoulder with his.
“I’m pretty sure that’s one thing you can’t help me overcome, Linc. And if you even think about tryin’ I’ll do some serious damage to your junk.”
He winces, cupping himself. “Calm down, girl, no need for violence.”
We both laugh, filling the silent night with the comforting sound. Our friendship is effortless. There is never anything we can’t talk about, even the scary stuff.
“I don’t know. My parents want me to go to college, but I have no idea what I wanna do. I’d love to travel. See the world.”
“Me too,” he agrees, staring off into the distance.
“What do you wanna do?”
He shrugs but I can see that determination glimmering in his green eyes as he looks up into the darkened night. “I wanna write music. Sing. I don’t know. It’s a long shot but it’s what makes me happy. My dad wants me to join the Marines. He says there’s stability and discipline there.” Linc scoffs. “He thinks I need more discipline.”
I try to stifle a giggle but it sneaks out anyway. I can’t imagine Linc in the Marines. He has a hard enough time following instructions in school. He just seems to always find his own way of doing things. It drives the teachers nuts but they all adore him.
Hell, everyone does.
Linc is an only child so he gets away with a lot at home, too. His father is a sergeant in the Marines and is deployed ninety percent of the time, leaving his mother at home to enforce the rules, but Gwynn can be a big pushover when it comes to her son.
In her eyes, this boy can do no wrong.
“What’s so funny?”
“I’m just trying to imagine you with a buzz cut,” I say, running my hand over his head. “And taking orders from someone else.”
He playfully swats my thigh. “Smart-ass.”
“Have you told your dad you don’t wanna join?”
“Yeah, but he won’t listen. He thinks music is a hobby, not a career. I think he’s just pissed he never went for it.”
“What do you mean?”
“My mom told me that he was in a band once. When they first met. It was a hillbilly rock band and they were really good. She even showed me pictures and some old videos. She told me they could’ve been huge. Even had a record label offer them a deal but he turned it down.”
“Why?”
“They got pregnant with me. Changed everything.”
“That sucks.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You know what I mean.” I nudge his shoulder. “I cannot picture your dad in a hillbilly rock band, that’s for sure. He’s always so serious.”
“I know. He was such a badass, too. I tried to ask him about it once but he refused to talk about it. The only thing he’d say was he never regretted his decision. But I’m not so sure he’s telling the truth. He’s like a completely different man with a guitar in his hands.”
“Well, maybe he can live that dream through you.”
He’s not convinced. “Maybe.”
“I believe in you, Linc. I think you could go all the way. Your voice and the way you sing some of those songs…it’s breathtaking.”
Ever since the first time he sang to me on the Ferris wheel, I’ve become his biggest fan. He is modest about his talent and still only shares it with me. I don’t think he believes in himself as much as I believe in him, which is crazy to me because Linc is confident about pretty much everything.
“You’re my best friend, you’re supposed to say that.”
“Do you really think I’d blow smoke up your ass?”
He lifts a brow, a gift apparently, considering I’ve tried countless times to execute the move and can never do it. “I don’t know…would ya?” he asks.
I punch his arm. “Lincoln Cole Matthews, you should know me better than that.”
“I know you wouldn’t. You’re the most honest person I know.” Then his eyes flash with excitement. “Oh shit, I’ve got it,” he says, hopping down from the tailgate to stand in front of me, placing his hands on my knees. “Let’s move to Nashville after graduation. I can work on my music, and you can find a job, I don’t know, somewhere cool. We can be roommates. Maybe save some money and travel. We can go anywhere we want.”
He’s grinning from ear to ear but his words are completely sincere. Thinking of the possibilities makes me giddy inside.
“You’re serious?”
“Hell yes, I’m serious. I want us to stay close. Just like this. I don’t ever wanna lose what we have. I don’t ever wanna lose you.”
My heart flutters in my chest, his words burrowing themselves deep within my soul. “You’ll never lose me. I’ll always be here for you, Linc. You know that.”
The thought of not seeing him every day saddens me deeply. I can’t remember a time when he hasn’t been a part of my life, and I don’t ever want to consider what it would be like without him.
“I know, it’s just…” He steps away, shoving his hands into the front of his jeans. “Never mind. It’s a stupid idea anyway.”
I remain silent for a moment, contemplating what he’s asking. We have another two years before we graduate. A lot can change between now and then but this is obviously something he wants. Whether I end up going or not, I’m not going to be the one to destroy his dream.
“Nashville, huh?”
“Yeah, maybe you could be my manager,” he teases.
“Manager? That means you’d have to do what I say. Think you can handle that?”
“As long as you’re there with me, yeah, I’ll do whatever you say.”
“Hmmm…I find that hard to believe, but it sounds too fun to pass up. Besides, I’ve always wanted to go to Nashville.”
His eyes light up and they are brighter than the stars twinkling in the sky above us. “So you’ll go?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’ll go.”
Under a blanket of stars, on the tailgate of his Ford, we make a pact to go to Nashville. To spread our wings and fly away from Grandeur.
Together.