***
I took the longest route offered to me from my phone to get to Dana. I needed a chance to cool down completely before I vomited all my dirty deeds in front of her. I wanted someone to tell me that things were different, that there was a chance to find happiness with someone else for more than just one night. Ana had been all of those things. She knew all about my past and was fine with pushing her limits in the bedroom with me. She accepted the parts of me that I was proud of, and those I hated most.
"And she's gone. Get over it." I ran my fingers through my hair as I pulled into the parking lot for Dana's apartment. The pretty girl who had been more than good to my sister didn't need any of my emotional baggage dragged in behind me, not even for a night.
I pulled the mirror down from above my head and checked my reflection. I put my glasses on and turned from left to right, trying to decide if looking studious was better.
"You freaking pansy." I got out of the car and let out a long exhale as I walked toward the apartment complex. Number three ten was on the third floor, and for some reason I figured taking the stairs would help me bleed out some of the piss and vinegar racing through my veins. I lifted my hand to knock on the door and paused. Was I making a mistake?
It's not sex. It's just dinner. Shit.
I knocked before I could talk myself out of it and walk back to my car, forgoing the night, which seemed to almost be what both of us wanted.
Dana looked beyond cute in her tank top and sleeping pants. I was taken aback by how much of a sex kitten she was. Her long dark hair danced around her shoulders as she gave me a sweet smile. Praise God she had a bra on. I'd not have survived otherwise.
"I told you it was a rough day. Where are your pjs?" She lifted her eyebrow and moved back, her gallon of chocolate ice cream held closely to her.
I reached out and took the spoon sticking out of it, slipping it in my mouth and nodded as she laughed. "I sleep naked." I tried to speak around the spoon, causing her to laugh more. I loved it. Simple. Beautiful. Sexy.
"Get in here." She reached out and grabbed the front of my shirt, pulling me toward her. She moved at the last minute to keep us from colliding, and I lamented over the lost opportunity to touch her. We were in deep shit, at least I was.
"Why the rough day?" I licked the spoon and went for another spoonful. She grabbed it from me and sucked on it as she turned her back to me and walked back into the living room.
"I don't want to talk about it."
A groan lodged in my throat as I caught a perfect outline of her panties under the soft Bugs Bunny pants she wore. A tight little G-string from what I could make out.
"Why not?" I forgot why I was asking what I was, but it seemed to fit the conversation by the look on her face as she turned around and dropped down on the couch.
"Because. I'm tired of feeling like shit thanks to other people fucking me over. I'd rather just wipe my hands clean of the madness and move forward."
"I like that." I sat down next to her and reached for a small white couch pillow to cover up my raging erection. I was acting like the nineteen-year-old idiot that apparently still lived in my head and controlled my dick.
"Good. You wanna watch a movie?" She cleaned off the spoon and dipped it back into the ice cream, offering me the spoon.
Where I was sure she expected me to take it from her, I decided to risk it and lean in. I kept my eyes on her as I opened my mouth and pulled the cold ice cream from the spoon.
She glanced down toward the bucket as her cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink.
Was she a virgin? Innocent still? Sure seemed like it. The fact that I wanted to know left me with one conclusion. We had to get out of the house or I was going to replace one treat with another.
"I'd rather take you to my favorite pizza place. You promised me dinner." I licked at my lips and glanced around the small living room, looking for evidence of a boyfriend.
Must not be a live-in, which was a point in my favor.
"Are you okay with me wearing my pjs?" She gave me a cheeky grin and got up.
"Anything you're comfortable with, I most certainly am." I leaned back and let out a long sigh, feeling a sense of peace that made little to no sense. "Wanna hear about the latest bull shit going on at my work?"
"I'd love to." She walked toward the kitchen. "Talk loud so I can hear you though."
The soft jiggle of her rear had my body aching far past anything Heather could have caused. What was it with this sweet little nurse that left my heart racing? It wasn't her. Surely not. It had to be me denying myself too long.
If that was the case, then Heather's attention would have left me coming on myself. It wasn't anything other than a carnal attraction to her.
She looks like Ana.
She did in some ways, but all beautiful Hispanic women did, at least to me. Maybe it was my desire to see her everywhere I went. It had died down a lot, but there were still times where I would find myself searching for her, praying to catch just a glimpse of her again.
"Kendal?" Dana walked out of the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe.
My eyes dragged across her and I swallowed. "Yeah?"
"What happened at work?"
"Get dressed and I'll tell you in the car." I leaned back and closed my eyes as my pulse raced. I could get through a dinner with her and keep things friendly. I'd been pushing women away for six years.
Tonight would be no different.