Chapter 16

Dana

I dropped my phone on the bedside table and let out a long sigh as I lay in Kendal's bed the next morning. The smell of him rolled over me and I flipped over to lay on my stomach so I could press my face to his pillow and breathe in deeply. I was class-A stalker material, and didn't give a shit about getting caught. Not that it would be him catching me. He was out playing golf with a few friends from what his note said.

After snuggling down into the covers for a few more minutes, I decided it was time to get my happy ass up and get to the hospital. I had another hour before I had to be there, but being in someone else's house without them there was less than comfortable.

The kitchen was stocked with all kinds of fruits and goodies, like Kendal had a private chef that came. Did college professors make that much money?

"Maybe so," I mumbled and made myself something quickly, cleaned up and changed into my scrubs. I realized as I walked toward the front door that I was stranded without a car. What the hell was I thinking the night before? I could have at least driven over to Kendal's place. I called an Uber and was grateful to have it pull up twenty minutes later. I was going to be cutting it close, but it was the best I could do.

I called the apartment complex and explained the situation about the locks on the door as I rode back into the heart of the city. The lady promised to get it taken care of by Sunday afternoon, which was better than I expected and yet not soon enough. Where the idea of staying another night with Kendal was beyond exciting, it felt like a burden I didn't want to put on him. What if he'd had enough of me the night before? The last thing I wanted to do was make things awkward for us.

His sweet note to call him when I got up was the only thing keeping my shitty thoughts at bay.

The Uber pulled up into the large overflow parking lot at Memorial Hospital and let me out. I paid the guy and walked into the building with a crowd of new residents. Their excitement was contagious, and I once again couldn't help but revisit the notion that nursing wasn't enough for me. Maybe I did need to push my education another few steps to become a full-fledged doctor. Surely some of my credits would transfer to the new degree.

The thought of another round of student loans left my chest aching, but they were a means to an end. I would pay them off before I died... hopefully.

I made my way to my assigned floor and stopped by to find Amanda sound asleep. Tinsley stopped beside me in the open door and gave me a scathing look.

"Why are you so concerned with this girl over all the other patients on our floor? Don't you know that it's unethical to have favorites?"

I glanced over at her, not at all concerned with what she thought about me caring for Amanda. It was none of her business and if she thought it was only because of Kendal, she was wrong. I'd been stopping by to offer Amanda attention since getting the internship. The fact that she had a devastatingly handsome older brother that might be the love of my life eventually was a huge bonus, but it was just that - a bonus.

Turning, I walked out of the room without another word. The nasty huff behind me caused a smile to spread across my face. I wasn't a nefarious person at all, but if there was a way to bring our head nurse on the floor down just a little and offer her a great taste of humility... I was all for it.

I checked all of the normal spots for Jackie before walking down to her private hideaway with trepidation. The last thing I wanted to do was walk in on her and Parks again, but in an effort to get her on her rounds and keep her from getting in trouble with Tinsley, I was willing to take one for the team.

Pressing my ear to the door, I held my breath and heard something I hadn't expected to hear. Crying.

I knocked softly and pushed the door open as Jackie called out.

"No, don't. Someone is in here."

"It's just me." I stuck my head around the edge of the door and after seeing that she was alone, I moved into the room and closed the door behind me. "What's going on? What happened?"

She sobbed softly and pressed her hands to her face. "I'm a whore. That's what."

"No you're not." I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders as she cried harder.

"Yes I am. I thought maybe after spending a few days sleeping with Parks that I might mean something to him." She choked on a sob and pulled away from me as she started to cough loudly.

"Did he say you didn't mean anything, or are you assuming that because he had to go back to New York?" I reached out and rubbed her back softy. The poor girl was in a full-scale meltdown, and as much as I loved her, she had ten minutes before I turned into my apathetic mother and told her to pull her shit together and get up.

Nothing was worth getting bad marks on the internship, least of all a hottie from New York that probably slept with anything that looked good and walked on two legs.

"He didn't say anything, Dana. He just left last night on a red eye. I tried to get his number before he left, but he was really weird about it."

My conversation with Kendal the night before raced through my mind.

"Did you go after him or did he come after you?" I put my hand on my hip and realized that it was a pretty fucked up time to test the theory that Kendal had used on me, but it was already out there now.

"What? Neither. He left without a word." She sobbed loudly again.

I reached for a handful of Kleenex and handed them to her. "No, originally. When he got here at Memorial. Did he hit on you first, or did you hit on him?"

"I hit on him. Why? What does that have to do with anything?"

Whore. I cringed at the thought. Was that some kind of fucked up alpha male code? Did they not like strong women that knew what they wanted? How shitty was that?

"What? Nothing. I was just wondering where this all started. Come here." I reached for her again and wrapped my arms around her. "You're not just a piece of ass. He's either a bigger idiot than we thought, or he got called back to New York in a hurry. He seemed like a great guy when he was here. I'm going to vote on him getting called back and not having the time to call you or not wanting to because of how late it was."

"He didn't have my number." She huffed and pulled away from me again before wiping at her face angrily. "It's just so fucking messed up. Every time I find a guy that I'm compatible with, poof, they fucking disappear. I'm obviously not worthy of anyone's time or emotional energy." She walked to the door. "I'll be fine. I've been through this a million times. Let's go do our shit and then I'm faking death."

"How about just sickness?" I walked out of the room behind her and stopped short as they wheeled an empty bed out of the room near the end of the hall. Mr. Jackson?

"That'll work too." She reached for me as I moved past her in a haze. "Hey. Where you going? Our rounds are back here at the nurses’-"

"I know. I'll meet you there." I pulled from her and walked quickly to the room, pausing only as I reached the door. "Where are you?"

I turned to find the hall empty. Where was he? Had he finally gone home to let his family offer their comfort until he passed? Had he gotten better? That had to be it. He looked great the last time I saw him.

After standing there for a few more wasted minutes, I turned the corner and jogged down toward the south wing of the hospital. For some odd reason, they were much more friendly to interns than anyone on my floor ever was.

The sweet older woman that glanced up from her computer gave me a warm smile. "What can I do for you, dear?"

"I was looking for Mr. Jackson. He's usually-"

"Oh yes. Such a nice older man."

"Right. Did he go home?"

"He sure did. Peacefully too."

"Peacefully?" Confusion rolled over me, though it shouldn't have. "He went to his son's house?"

"No, dear. He died in his sleep last night. He went to his final resting place." She stood and reached out to touch my hand. "Oh, you're Dana. One of our interns, right?"

"Yes, ma'am." I tried to push past my shock. It wasn't as if I didn't expect there to be death in a hospital, but not getting to say goodbye left too many open wounds in my heart. It felt far too much like the situation with my own father. Abrupt. Unfair.

"He left you a note, dear. He delivered it a few days ago as if he knew the end was close." She turned and shuffled through a few things as I stood there in stony silence. What did it say? Why did it matter so much?

Because I wanted to take Kendal by to see him, to let him pass the old father's test over Kendal and give me the nod of approval. I knew without a doubt that he would. How could he not? Kendal was the best guy I'd ever dated.

Were we dating?

"Here you go, hon. Let me know if you need to talk to a grief counselor. Sometimes being new to all of this is a little overwhelming. Most of the other nurses will tell you that it's just better if you don't get emotionally involved with anyone, but I think that's hogwash. I love letting my patients know that they're cared about. It's too sterile in here in the first place." She sighed and dropped back down in her seat.

"Thank you. I appreciate it." I lifted the letter in the air and turned to go. I needed to find a quiet place to sit down and read the letter, but now wasn't the time. Even though my heart ached for my loss, there were things to be done. If Jackie could move past falling for a playboy doctor and being made to feel like a piece of ass and still get her rounds done, then I could too.

I made my way back to my side of the floor and stopped beside Jackie as she counted out pills.

"You okay?" She glanced over at me.

"Yeah, I think so. I just really liked that old man."

Tinsley poked her head up and caught my attention. "This is why I told you not to get too connected with anyone. It's not because I'm an ass. It's because people die all the time around here. The diagnosis the doctors give is usually spot on." She shrugged and turned back to her computer. Lucky for her, her tone wasn't nearly as demeaning as it usually was. I was in the mood to smack someone around emotionally and she would fit the bill beautifully.

"I hate that part of this job. It's one of the reasons why I was determined not to be like my mother and become a nurse." Jackie pulled her long blond hair down and ran her fingers through it before pulling it back up.

"I'm still not sure if I'm going to stick with it or go farther."

"And be a doctor?" Tinsley glanced up again.

"Yes, but this conversation is between me and Jackie. I'm sorry we're in earshot of you, but mind your own damn business." I turned back to find Jackie staring at me with her mouth wide open.

"You sure you're okay?" she whispered and stiffened as Tinsley moved to stand in front of me.

I returned my attention back to her, ready for a fight. Her words took the wind out of my sails and left me defeated.

"Good luck with being a doctor instead of a nurse. We might have to change the sheets when they die, but you don't have to stand in front of the family and give them bad news. Kind of like Dr. Lewis sort of, kind of did to Mr. Tarrington."

"What do you mean sort of, kind of? He told Kendal to prepare for end of life for Amanda." Even repeating it hurt me. I wasn't sure how Kendal was getting through it, but avoidance and ignoring the truth of the matter had to be part of it. He hadn't really brought it up much more than to say he'd give up everything for his little sister.

"Nick is an old friend of Kendal's mom. He's uber sensitive about the whole situation, obviously." She huffed and turned to walk back to her desk.

"Nick?" Jackie leaned toward me and whispered.

"Dr. Lewis." I walked around the counter and stopped beside Tinsley’s desk. "Stop being so damn cryptic and tell me what you're getting at."

"Go get Amanda's file and see for yourself. There's a timeline on it. Nick just doesn't have the balls to tell Kendal."

"What?" Shock ran through me. "Is he required to tell him?"

"Nope. He should. I mean, it's just good business practice, but I can see why he's not doing it. Would you be able to, Dr. Young?" She snorted.

Anger burned through me, and I backed up before I grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her up from her comfortable chair. She had no humanity inside of her.

"Where is the file?" I glanced around until my eyes stopped on Amanda's room. The file sat in the plastic file holder affixed to her door. Without thinking any more about it, I walked to stand in front of her room and plucked the file from the door.

"You sure you want to do that? You'd kinda feel obligated to tell Dr. Tarrington about his sister’s rapidly approaching end, right?"

I coddled the file to my chest and turned to face her. "Have you looked at it?"

"Hell no. I don't want that pressure in my life. I don't like very many people, but Kendal is one of the few. There is no way I could tell him that the last member of his family is headed out sooner than any of us might imagine."

"How the hell do you know it's soon if you haven't looked at the file, Tinsley?"

"Because, Dana, Dr. Lewis told Kendal to prepare for end of life. Doctors don't say that shit months in advance. It's usually weeks." She dropped back down in her chair and went back to typing.

I turned to find Jackie watching me with something like horror on her face.

"I wouldn't do it. You know you can't not tell him, Dana."

I glanced down at the file. Kendal deserved to know.

"I can't hold the truth in my hands and not have the balls to tell him about it, Jackie." I opened the file and glanced down as I scanned the pages and pages of notes. The last few lines on the front page were almost unreadable, but the date grabbed me by the heart and squeezed tightly. "What's today's date?"

Tinsley glanced up with sadness in her eyes. She knew what the fucking file said.

"It's the date on the file, Dana. She's supposed to die today.”