Chapter 8

Dana

"Why do you force me to do uncomfortable things?" I glanced over at Jackie as we stood in a large yoga room, people everywhere, all of them half my size. I hated few things in life, but yoga pants were one of them. They seemed to show every flaw, which was fine unless I was forced to bend over in front of half of Dallas.

"It's good for you. Stop bitching and breathe in the essence."

"Essence?" I shook my head. "You know I wanted to stay home today and do nothing."

"You wanted to cry all day. Every time I call or come by, you're lost in another pity party. You and Kendal could be back together tonight if you went over there and demanded he tell you how he feels about you." She pulled her hair into a high ponytail and lifted her perfect eyebrows at me, challenging me to dispute her claim.

No. She was right. Then what was I waiting on? I wanted him with everything inside of me.

"I don't know." I shrugged and lifted my arms toward the sky as the yoga instructor walked to the front of the room. "I'm scared."

"I know you are." She bent over and touched her hands to the floor, turning a little so she could look up at me. "Love is risky, Dana. You know this shit. You have to step up and hit the ball or get off the fucking field."

"Ugh. Jeez." A motherly looking woman beside Jackie picked up her mat and moved to the back of the room. "So vulgar."

"I know. She's horrible." I gave the woman an apologetic look before smiling down at my friend. "This isn't about taking a risk."

Jackie stood up, the blood having rushed to her face. Somehow, she looked even more attractive. "No, then what's it about?"

"Could you guys keep it down?" The guy to the left of me asked, his voice filled with annoyance.

Jackie moved around me. "No, we can't. When the class starts, we'll pipe down, but for now, mind your own business."

I moved in between her and the guy who should not be wearing yoga pants. He needed a sock. An extension. Something. "Hey. Be nice."

"I feel aggressive." She rolled her shoulders. "I'm going to see Parks soon. I have to. I need to get some of this tension out of my body."

"Are you guys dating now?"

"No. We're just sleeping together." She moved back and swung her arms back and forth.

"Then sleep with someone else."

She gave me a look. "Why would I do that? He's amazing, Dana. Like the best I've ever had."

"Is the sex mutually exclusive?"

"No." She turned back to the front. "You're totally diverting now. Back to you and Kendal. If it's not the risk of losing him or never getting him, then what is it."

"It's the risk of him settling for me when he really wanted Ana."

"If he wanted Ana, couldn't he just ask her back out?"

"I don't know. I guess." My phone buzzed on the floor beside me and I dropped down, checking it and praying that it would be him. It was. He wanted me to come over later that night, no demanded me to.

"Nice," Jackie cooed as I stood up. "He texted you?"

"You're so damn nosy." I popped her in the stomach softly and turned to face the instructor as the class started. Maybe yoga wasn't such a good idea. What if things went well with Kendal? I'd end up in his bed, sore as hell from a class I never wanted to go to in the first place.

"And breathe in deeply and lift up on your toes, stretching your fingers to the sky. Think of yourself as a tree, sway in the wind," the instructor called from the front of the classroom.

"Really?" I whispered and glanced over to find Jackie smiling. She was so in for payback for forcing me to a yoga class. I was the most inflexible person we knew.

"Just do what the chick says. It will help the blood flow in your body." She wagged her eyebrows. "To all of your parts."

"Gross. Stop talking. Please." I closed my eyes and extended my hands toward the ceiling, giving myself over to the ridiculousness of it for the next hour. I could let my mind wander around what the night might hold for me.

I had to make things right. Being depressed and hating life wasn't me at all. I wanted my joy back, and I knew that would come with either cutting things off with Kendal, or fixing them.

The path to true happiness seemed to be available in the latter of the two objectives. He hadn't been the one to turn away from me or shut me down.

I'd been the one running and slamming doors in his face.

All because of insecurity over my sister.

It would have helped if I could have talked to her, but she was off the grid. I growled at the thought and swept my hands along the floor like the instructor requested we do. I picked up my phone and ignored Jackie grumbling at me to put it down.

My mother had trackers on us when we were younger, and we hadn't changed our phones. I texted her to see if she could activate all of us and see where Ana was. I needed to work things out with my sister before I could work them out with Kendal.

I didn't get a response, which wasn't unusual. My mother enjoyed her quiet time more than anything since my father passed, as if sitting out on the porch was an invitation for him to leave heaven and join her.

"Hey. You okay?" Jackie squatted next to me as I swayed, still bent over.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I wiped at my eyes and stood up. The room was empty, everyone was gone. "What the hell?"

"Did you get lost in enlightenment?" The gangly yoga instructor stopped in front of us, her hair in a messy bun, her skin flawless.

I glanced around, still a little out of sorts. "I guess so? I don't know. One minute we were starting and I swear it wasn't but a second later and we're done?"

She laughed and Jackie picked up our mats and walked them to the back of the room.

"Then it was a good session. You must have a lot on your mind. Your eyes are cloudy with emotion." The girl reached out and touched my shoulder. "Do you want me to see if one of our masseuses can see you today?"

"No, but thank you." I smiled and walked toward Jackie. "That was a much better experience than I expected it to be. I closed my eyes for a minute and it was all over."

"The power of connecting with the source." She wrapped a sweaty arm around my shoulders as we walked out into the chilly October afternoon. "What's next? You want to grab lunch and hang out for the afternoon?"

"I would, but Kendal wants to talk at his place tonight." I walked to the passenger side of her small Prius and got in.

She glanced my way as she got into the car and buckled up. "That's great news, right?"

"Yeah. I just need to decide if I have it within me to get over him sleeping with Ana." I ran my fingers through my damp hair. "I need to see her, but she's impossible to find."

"Call her."

"She won't answer." I reached up and adverted the hot air away from me.

"Text her."

"She'll ignore it. She hates being around the family or talking to any of us. She was my father's favorite, and when he died, she sorta did too." I tugged on my seatbelt.

"Track her ass." Jackie snorted and pulled out of the parking lot, looking like a model for yoga wear. How I lived in a world where almost everyone around me looked better than me was a mystery. A sucky-ass mystery at best.

"I asked my mom to track her. She's the only one with that functionality." I glanced out the window. "I want to just let it all go. Obviously my sister isn't interested in him or she never would have left him."

"And he's not interested in her, or he would run back to her and wouldn't be trying so damn hard to get your attention, right?"

"I guess." I turned and studied my friend. "I'm in love with him, Jackie. It's not just a silly infatuation. I'm thinking about moving my degree plan to Baylor and extending it a semester just to make things work between us."

"What? No the hell you're not. That's ridiculous!"

I laughed. "Olivia said the same thing."

"Well, she's right. I'm right." She reached over and took my hand. "I know you love him, but you gotta see if the two of you are going to make this thing work. Let me ask you one really important question, and you have to be one-hundred-percent honest. Promise?"

"Yeah. Of course." I settled back into my seat, letting myself relax.

"Is the sex good, great or mind blowing?"

I rolled my eyes. "Seriously? That's your question? I thought you were going to ask if I was willing to take a bullet for him."

"Oh, that's a good one too. Are you?"

"Yes. I am. That's sorta what being in love is about, right?"

"Maybe. Now, the sex question."

"It's mind-blowing. I didn't know it could be that good, okay? Happy now?"

"No, I'm actually really sad for you. You're missing out on mind-blowing sex because he was with your sister in the past? He didn't even know you then. You need to move past this."

I let out a loud huff. "Weren't you the one that wanted to throw his ass out of a high window because he was a man-whore for sleeping with my sister?"

"Maybe. Doubtful. I'm usually not really violent." She gave me a blank stare before turning back toward the road.

"I'm going over there tonight. We'll figure it out. I just need to get to Ana first." I pulled out my phone and let out a whoop! My mother was going to track her for me the minute she got back from the grocery store. I'd have time to take a quick shower and see my older sister before going over to see Kendal.

"Why are you so interested in seeing Ana first?"

"I need to know that she's not in love with him anymore."

"And if she is?" Jackie clicked her tongue against her teeth, as if I were an idiot for not assuming that my sister might still have feelings for Kendal.

"Then I guess I'll walk away."

"What? No!" She shook her head, looking far more agitated than she needed to. "Who gives a fuck if your sister is in love with him. This isn't about her. It's about you and him. What do you want? What does he want?"

"I want him." I ran my hands down my face. "I think he wants me. I don't know. I just feel like I need to clear things up with her."

"I vote that you don't."

"Well, you don't get a vote," I grumbled and pulled my phone close to my face. "She's a pain in the ass, but I still love her."

"Enough to give her your man? I love a lot of people, but none that much. That's insane."

"If she loves me, then she'll know how I feel already, Jackie."

"This is getting more fucked up by the minute, Dana. Just go see Kendal. You don't need to bring your sister into the middle of this. If she wanted him, the bitch knew where he was all this time. She could have gone back to him. Period."

"Maybe you're right." I undid my seatbelt as we pulled up to my apartment. "I'll text you later and let you know what's going on."

"Please do, and stop ignoring that Talon guy too. I see him blowing up your phone."

I glanced down at the ten unread messages I had from him. "I hate hurting people."

She reached for my phone, snatched it and typed away as I reached across to her seat and tried to wrestle it back from her. "Let. Me. Take. Care. Of. It."

"Give it back!" I finally got it from her and growled. "I swear I'm going to send Parks a note that you have clinical herpes."

"No such thing." She glanced down at her nails and back at me. "You're welcome. You need to tell that boy to find someone else to bother. What is Kendal going to think when he sees your phone tomorrow morning after your all-night-fuck-fest and it's got some dude's name on it with messages galore?"

"I hate you." I got out of the car and bent down. "Not really. Thank you. I'll text you later."

"I love you too. I want details. Dirty, juicy-"

After slamming the car door, I ran upstairs and let out a long exhale as I closed the door behind me. Talon texted back a sweet note, which made me stop and read Jackie's. She'd done a good job of letting the poor guy down.

"Much better than I would have done." I walked to the couch and dropped down as my mother texted me the address where Ana was. Jackie was right. I didn't need it.

I stared at it for a few seconds feeling like I should know where it was. Not wanting to spend the rest of the afternoon worried about my sister, I plugged the address into google and pulled up the map.

"What?" I pressed my hand to my chest and stood up. Sickness rolled through me. I didn't need to wonder if my sister still had feelings for Kendal. Obviously she did.

She was at his house.