***
Nurse Barry had a note on her door that said she was unavailable because of an emergency at the hospital. I was almost grateful to see it seeing that I wasn't really sure what I was going to tell her. I'd met with her the week before and locked down my schedule and my graduation. The only other thing she could help me with was dropping my classes and trying to transfer to another University for graduation, but after talking with Olivia, that option felt ignorant.
I'd been at UT since I was a starting freshman. With my mom being a single mom and having to raise three kids, paying for the prestigious college had taken its toll on all of us. Me turning my back on that in hopes of being more available to Kendal was over the top. It was eight months. Eight months until graduation. If nothing else, I could wait that long for him. The only real question was whether he would wait for me.
I walked back through the nursing building at UT and waved at a few people who greeted me. No matter how I looked at my life at that moment, it was better. It was better because Cameron wasn't in it. He wasn't berating me for my weight and leaving me to feel like I was less of a woman than he deserved. I wasn't struggling to find myself at the hospital anymore either. I'd come to terms with the fact that I could do my job and care for my patients. Amanda and Mr. Jackson had taught me that. It was okay to love those that you cared for. Loss was part of the deal, but so were all the great things that happened between the heartache.
I smiled as I got into my cramped car and rolled down the windows. It was almost October, and the fall day was beautiful. I needed to talk with Kendal to see where his heart was. We hadn't gotten very deep into our budding relationship, but it was enough to know that he was exactly the kind of guy I wanted beside me for the long haul.
The song on the radio was one of my favorites. I turned it up and sang all the way to the hospital, making sure to engage the cars around me as we pulled to various red lights. It was silly and childish, but it left me feeling more like me than I had in a long time.
My conversation with Olivia moved through my mind as I walked up to the hospital. I had been a wild child once, an unmovable force, but over time I'd let that part of myself fade away - die. I wanted it back - wanted her back. The girl who was unafraid to risk it all because of the promise of something incredible waiting on the other side of the door.
"Hey! What's that smile for?" Jackie came down the main hall of the hospital toward me, surprising me a little by her presence.
"Oh hey. I was just thinking about some of the stunts I pulled when I was younger." I stopped in front of her. She looked like a million bucks with her long blond hair, warm brown eyes and big boobs. How many times had I let myself feel like an ugly duckling in her shadow, and why? She was beautiful, but the girl had more problems than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.
"I think I need to hear about these stunts." She turned and slid her arm into mine before pulling me down the hall. "We're going away for a girls’ weekend. My treat."
"Oh yeah?" I waved at one of the orderlies and pushed the button for the elevator.
"Yes. I got ahold of Parks." She released me and bounced up and down on her toes.
"Don't do that. It's disturbing." I gave her a silly smile and reached out to make her stop. "Tell me what he said."
"He got wrapped up in work like all doctors do. He misses me like crazy and is so insanely sorry. He wants me to come visit."
"Awesome. When are you going?" I didn't like the sound of her going anywhere near the playboy who'd come down for a few days, fucked her silly and broken her heart. Obviously she was still lost in the euphoria of what the man could do with his tool. She was blinded by him.
"We're going this weekend. My dad's buying us the plane tickets and we can stay with Parks."
"What? No way." I held the door to the elevator open for her. "I have things to do."
"Like what?" She walked out of the elevator and waited for me to join her.
"Like... stuff."
"Nope. You're going." She wagged her eyebrows before grabbing a clipboard from our nursing station. "By the way, you have the new patient that was brought in this morning. We drew straws and you got the short one."
"What? I wasn't even here." I took the clipboard and glanced down.
"So you're coming with me to New York?"
"I don't know, Jackie. Let me think about it." I turned on my heel and walked back down toward the other end of the hall. New York didn't sound like a bad idea. I could hook up with Olivia for some of the time and maybe get my head on straight where Kendal was concerned.
"Don't make me go up there by myself. I'm scared!" Jackie called after me.
"Liar," I mumbled and stopped in front of room four fifteen. I knocked once and opened the door. "Mrs. Delmaz? I'm Dana. I'll be one of your nurses today."
"Well, it's about damn time!" The woman's voice was full of authority and loud enough to jolt me.
I stepped inside and gave her a warm smile. "I just came on shift, so you'll have to forgive me. Is there something you need?"
"Yes. I've been asking to see Larry since I got here. No one will tell me where the hell he is or why he's taking so long to bring my magazines up here. It's getting on my last nerve!" The woman had to be in her late seventies, a hundred pounds overweight and looked to be as mean as a snake.
Perfect. Exactly what I need to take my mind off of things.
"All right, well, I'll find out how to get ahold of Larry." I handed her the clipboard and a pen. "You write down the names of the magazines he's supposed to bring and we'll make it happen. Do you need a drink or another pillow or blanket? Dr. Lewis will be by shortly to see you, I'm sure, but what can I do right now to make life better?"
"Get me the fuck outta here." The woman lifted her eyebrow as if challenging me. It was almost comical.
"All right. Get yourself in this wheelchair and I'll wheel you outside for a breath of fresh air."
"Really?" Her tone faltered as she sunk back toward the bed.
"Of course." I moved the wheelchair beside the bed and smiled. "If you're too weak to get in the chair, then we'll just open the window up here, but if not..."
She didn't say a word, but I didn't need her to. If she wanted to boss someone around and scare them, she'd have to find someone else.
I was always the one that drew the short stick with rowdy new patients and they usually became like family to me. Funny enough, I was never involved in the actual stick-drawing part.