Chapter 4

Kendal

I called in on Monday and moped around the house, sleeping off and on until the sun set and another day was officially over. I'd planned to do the same the next day, but the sound of someone banging on my front door at seven in the morning said otherwise.

"I'm coming. Shit." I grabbed a pair of sleeping pants and pulled them over my legs before stumbling down the hall. The last few days had been a blur and not the good kind. I was pretty sure I'd kissed Dana in my living room after Mandy's funeral and then told her we were nothing more than friends, but maybe not. My daydreams were starting to mix with my reality and I wasn't doing so good at telling which way was up.

Damon gave me a cocky look as I opened the door. "You look like shit. Get dressed. We're going to breakfast."

"No. I'm not hungry." I growled as he moved past me, hitting me with his shoulder.

"Don't care. I'm hungry and it's your turn to buy. Get dressed or I'll fucking dress you myself."

"This I gotta see." I closed the door and turned. "I'm seriously thinking about calling in today. I'm not feeling up to-"

"I see that, and where I think you taking some time off from the University is a smart move, it's not happening today. You've been holed up here since the funeral on Saturday. Get a t-shirt and a pair of flip-flops and let's go. The Chicken and Waffle is screaming my name this morning."

"Seriously?" I walked past him toward the bedroom. "You're not going to let me go back to bed, are you?"

"Nope." He followed me into the bedroom and dropped down on my bed. "Beth and I are back together."

"Good." A little bit of warmth rushed through me. Damon and Beth were meant for each other, but fuck if they hadn't been suffering over it lately. It would seem that it was mine and Dana's turn to take that torch and carry it for a while.

"Good?" He chuckled. "That's all you got for me?"

"Really good?" I walked to my closet and worked to get dressed as Damon hummed something from the bedroom behind me. "Is she coming back to work for you?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'm good with it either way. I just want her beside me."

"Wedding back on?" I pulled my shirt over my head and walked out in flip-flops and jeans.

"Yeah." He got up and tossed me a ball cap. "Wear this. Your hair looks like you took a shower and went to bed with it wet."

"Thanks, mom." I put the cap on and smiled at him before walking to the front door. "Am I going to be the maid of honor or the best man?"

"Both?" He patted my back before reaching around and opening the front door. "You'll be with me, you joker. I'm sure Beth has some cousin or someone that she'll have on her side. Maybe Erica if nothing else, though the last time I spoke with her, she sounded seriously upset."

"Something company related?" I glanced over my shoulder as we walked toward what had to be Damon's newest obsession. A candy red Shelby Cobra sat in my driveway. "Wow."

"She's pissed at Matt." He stopped by the driver's side door. "You wanna drive her?"

"Fuck yes." Every last drop of darkness inside me melted away for some odd reason.

He tossed me the keys as we walked by each other in front of the car. "Just treat her like you own her or you and I will have words."

"Why does that sound less than intimidating?" I chuckled and got into the driver's side. Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back against the headrest and took a deep breath.

"Because we're getting old." Damon patted my chest, but I kept my eyes closed and tried to push through the heavy emotions dancing inside of me. "You okay, buddy?"

I nodded and pursed my lips. There was too much to say and it was all wrapped in a wave of tears I didn't want to shed. I was grateful for him in so many ways, and I needed to start showing it. He was all I had left in my life, the closest thing I had to family.

Dana.

"Come on, let's go, emo-boy. I'll drive if you need to blow your nose." He popped my chest again playfully.

I wiped at my eyes and started the car. "Fuck you too, asshole."

"Nope. My girl does that for me." He wagged his eyebrows as I glanced over at him. It was good to see him back to being his old self.

"How is Beth? She better now that you guys have kissed and made up?"

"I think so." He tapped his knee to the song coming from the radio. "I hope so. You tell me after you see her today. She said she's going to TA for you this afternoon, unless you're not going in."

I hit the gas and stifled a smile as the car took off down the long road that led to my house.

I could seriously get used to a car like this.

"I'm going in. I wasn't going to, but seeing that you've ruined my ability to go back to sleep…"

"Which is a good thing." He gave me a sideways glance. "What's up with you and Dana? She still taking good care of you?"

"You want to poke me with a hot poker instead of asking all the wrong questions this morning? That might be faster."

"Don't be sensitive." Damon leaned back in his seat. "It's not your style and you know it. Tell me what's going on with her. You fucked it up again, didn't you?"

"I didn't fuck up anything. She came over and we kissed in the living room and then I told her we could be friends."

"Oh brother." Damon ran his hand down his face, looking far more exasperated than was necessary.

"She's my student, Damon. You know that's not permitted at the college. How many more times do I have to go through this shit before everyone understands why I have rules? They fucking protect me."

"Right, from everyone and everything." He pointed to the left. "Turn that way. The new restaurant I want to take you to is up on the right."

"Chicken and Waffles?" I gave him a concerned look.

"Don't smack it until you've tried it."

"I like Dana, a lot, but I'm not dating a student. Period."

"So ask her to remove herself from your class, Kendal. I saw the way you guys interacted at the funeral. You're already into her."

"It's hard not to be." I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and shook my head. "Why the hell haven't I noticed this before?"

"You come from the other direction I bet, and honestly, you're a pretty distracted guy. All those rules running around your head, making you crazy all the time."

"Really?" I got out of the car and handed him the keys as we walked in.

The smell of maple syrup caused my stomach to grumble. When was the last time I'd eaten?

I couldn't remember, which wasn't good.

We sat down and gave the waitress our drink orders before Damon turned the conversation back to Dana. Something told me that he wasn't going to relent until I made a few promises to get my love life back on track. Sadly enough, she was the only woman I wanted to do that with, and she was officially off limits.

"So tell me specifically what these rules say. It's the UT code of conduct? Like the exact verbiage."

"I don't know the exact verbiage, but I know as a professor, I'm not allowed to date any student or another professor on campus. It's pretty simple. She's a student at the college I'm teaching at, and she's off limits." I narrowed my eyes at him, as if I had any hope of intimidating the dick in front of me. He'd been muscling me around since we met a million years ago.

"So you sneak around." He shrugged and pulled his napkin into his lap. The look on his face said that his idea was not only brilliant, but something we should have thought about already.

"No." I smiled up at the waitress as she delivered our drink.

"Yes." Damon shrugged. "It's perfect. There's something so sexy about sneaking around to see the woman you love. I might ask Beth to role play with me, actually. That would be fun."

I shook my head. "Do you hear yourself? Sneaking around is not at all fun. It's scary."

"Exhilarating."

"It's like cheating."

"It's nothing like cheating." His smile faded. If Damon hated anything, it was a cheat or a liar.

"How is it not like cheating? Please explain and enlighten me."

"You and Dana like each other. If your bullshit rules weren't in the way, you'd be dating, right?"

"Absolutely." I took a tentative sip of my coffee and tried to keep my thoughts on the conversation at hand. It would be so easy to slip off into another daydream about the beautiful Hispanic woman who'd stolen a part of my heart without even trying.

"Then it's sneaking around the system, Kendal. It's like her being a part of an all-girls school and you wanting into her panties. You sneak around and get what you both want."

"You're corrupt. You know that?"

He nodded. "I'm aware."

"Yes, but does Beth know that?"

"Absolutely. It's one of the things that she loves most about me." He waved his hand around. "Look, I'm serious about this. You need some light in your life."

"I have you." I picked up my menu. "It's tainted light, but you're doing a great job."

"And I'm not going anywhere, but guys like us need a woman, and you know it." He tapped the top of my menu, forcing me to look up.

"I know, man. It's been a long two years of sleeping alone, but if the lessons from my past have taught me anything, it's this... don't date anyone affiliated with UT. Period."

"Then let's find you someone else. I'll start looking around."

"What? No." The thought left my insides tight with disgust.

"Why not?" He gave me a knowing look.

"Fuck you too." I glanced back down at my menu. "I'm not sneaking around."

"Then leave UT and go do something else. Fuck, come work for me. Stop hoping that you'll finally find someone off-campus when you never leave campus."

"I don't want anyone else, Damon. I want Dana. She has eight months left. I can wait."

"Right, but can she? Is she willing to? Do you really want eight months of your life to be gone when you finally give in to each other?"

"I don't know, dude." I slumped down in my chair and let out a long sigh. "After losing Mandy, it feels like being without love and affection for a day is stupid. I could die tomorrow."

"There's my morbid best friend." Damon glanced up to the waitress and ordered as I watched him. The cocky bastard knew what he was talking about, and I'd have to own up to it sooner or later. I was so weary from being by myself that I could feel the loosening of my morals as he spoke.

"What can I get you, hon?" The lady moved over toward me.

"Whatever he's having." I handed her the menu, not sure what would show up, but it would be greasy, cheesy and covered in syrup most likely. I needed a jolt to the system, and food would just be the beginning of it all.

"Just be friends to the public and behind closed doors, be everything you both need each other to be. Don't deny her or yourself. Turn back into that guy who used to live for passion. I know he's still deep down in there. I've seen him show his face a time or two over the last six years."

I nodded and glanced down at my hands. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we can get out of town once a month and try to keep things undercover until then."

"Exactly, and what's the very worst thing that could happen. Honestly. How bad could it get?"

"I could get caught and lose my job, fuck up my reputation."

"And what would your next step be if that happened?"

"I'd call you and get a job at McKenzie and Bryant."

He glanced up toward the ceiling and pressed his hands in a prayer-like state. "Please, please, please let everything get fucked up for my best friend here. I want him to work for me like I want my next breath."

"You're an idiot." I reached over and popped his hands.

"No. You are." He gave me a stern look. "Start living, Kendal. Do it for your folks. Do it for Mandy, for shit’s sake... do it for yourself."

"All right. Sneaking around it is... if she agrees."

"She'll agree." Damon smirked. "How could she not? You’re Dr. Kendal Tarrington."

The high-pitched feminine voice was enough to make me roll my eyes and laugh. No one could cheer me up like he could, and for that... I'd keep around for another day at least.