Twenty-Five

Julia

After a few minutes, we both moved to clean ourselves up. Another shower was in order. Then, Austin had to find me clothes of his to wear until my dress was dry. There was no hope for my hair. I was just lucky to find a hair tie, so I could slick it up into a ponytail.

I crashed back on his bed and yawned. “You took everything out of me. I could go to sleep.”

Austin smirked, all proud of himself. “I’d just have to wake you up for another round when I got back.”

“You’d have to convince me. This one was a thank-you.”

He shot me a quizzical look. “A thank-you?”

“Yeah. For the flowers.”

His expression didn’t change. “What flowers?”

I shot up in bed, a stone sinking in the pit of my stomach. “The lilies you sent me.”

“Uh, I didn’t send you lilies.”

“Wh-what?”

“Who’s sending you flowers, Jules?” he asked with a laugh. “Who do I need to beat up?”

“I…” I sputtered. “Oh no.”

My chest rose and fell rapidly as realization shot through me. Austin hadn’t sent me the flowers. He didn’t know that I loved lilies. He didn’t know that flowers were my weakness. He couldn’t possibly be that good of a guesser.

But there was someone who did know those things.

My blood ran cold.

“Oh, fuck,” I gasped.

“Jules?”

“No, no, no, no, no,” I said over and over again.

“You’re white as a ghost. What is going on? Does this have to do with who sent you the flowers?”

I shook my head back and forth and then dropped my head onto my knees. “Oh my God, I’m so stupid.”

“What is going on?”

“I thought I got away,” I whispered. “I thought I was safe.”

“Babe, you’re safe with me.”

I looked up at him through hollow, unseeing eyes. “I’m not safe anywhere.”

“You’re scaring me. What is going on?”

“My name isn’t Julia Banner,” I blurted.

Austin sat heavily on the bed. His eyebrows were scrunched together. “Okay. What is your name?”

“Juliana Peterson.”

“I don’t understand. Why did you change your name?”

“Because of Dillon.”

“And who is Dillon? This guy send you the flowers?”

I nodded. “I think so.” My hands trembled. “He’s my ex-boyfriend.”

“A serious one, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah. The reason I didn’t want to have the exes talk.”

“So, why is he sending you flowers? Are you still seeing him?”

I laughed, but it came out choked and disbelieving. “No, Dillon destroyed my life. There’s so much you don’t know, Austin. Fuck. I wanted to tell you everything. I wanted to tell you who I really was. Ever since Mav died, I wanted to spill it all, but I just…I was worried you’d hate me.”

“Jules, how could I hate you?”

“Because you don’t know anything about me.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know everything I need to know about you.”

“You say that now.”

“Then, tell me. You have a different name. So what? I plan to change your last name anyway,” he said passionately. “You can tell me.”

“I met Dillon the summer before college. He was…he was bad news. I liked…like guys that way,” I said, wincing, as my eyes snagged on his tattoos. “I was enamored. Dillon only showed me the parts of him that he wanted me to see. I gave up my full ride at Northwestern to stay home and go to community college. I couldn’t be away from him. He wouldn’t let me be away from him. I was that idiot girl. He was dealing drugs. I knew but thought it didn’t really matter. You don’t grow up around Akron without seeing your fair share of drugs.

“He went from being the perfect boyfriend to being possessive to being…insane. I knew it. I wasn’t stupid. But I thought I loved him. I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t get away.” I shook my head. “I got into Ohio State my sophomore year. At first, he wouldn’t let me go. Then, he expanded his dealing and moved there with me. I had no friends. I had no one. I went to classes. I made straight As. But I was utterly isolated.”

“That still wasn’t enough, was it?”

“I managed to graduate, but the next two years of my life were hell. The only person I had was one of my professors. I put it all on the line. She got me out of Ohio, helped me change my name, and found me the job at Wright.”

“You were lucky to have her.”

“I thank God for her every day,” I admitted. “But…I thought I could escape Dillon forever.”

“And, now, you think he’s found you?”

“It all makes sense,” I whispered, putting all the pieces together. “He stole my jacket. He broke into my car. He probably got my car towed.”

“Julia, that stuff has been happening for weeks.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“Don’t you think he’d have approached you by now?”

“He’s a psychopath. Who knows what his next move is?”

“I wish you’d told me about this shit,” Austin said. He stood and started pacing the room. His hands clenched and unclenched.

“I’m sorry. I know I should have told you, but I haven’t told anyone.”

“I just…fuck!”

“Austin?”

“Just give me a minute.”

He continued pacing, absentmindedly running his hands through his hair. I could see his brain working. I didn’t know if he was trying to find a solution or if he was just pissed at me. I knew the look on his face. He wanted a drink. I was overloading him.

“Austin—”

“A minute,” he snapped.

I recoiled into myself, and he sighed.

“Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. It’s just a lot at once. I fucking hate this prick who hurt you. And, now, I feel like a douche. No wonder you never wanted to talk to me again when you thought I’d used you. Christ! How can you even look at me?”

“You’re not Dillon, Austin.”

Austin Wright might be an asshole. He might have a drinking problem. He might put himself first in most things. But no one was as bad as Dillon.

If this was already too much, there was no way I could tell him the rest. If I peeled back all the layers of Juliana Peterson, no one could love her. She was a broken, used girl. And, when I thought about Dillon, I became that scared, helpless girl again. Rather than the strong woman who’d gotten away and built her own life. And I needed Julia Banner.

“We need to go to the cops,” Austin said abruptly.

I nodded, knowing he was right. “I’ll go in the morning.”

“We’re going now.”

“Austin, you have Patrick’s birthday tonight.”

“That can wait.”

“No. Look, it’s just one night.”

“Julia—”

“I’ll be with Heidi and Emery. Have fun with the guys. Let me deal with Dillon.”

Fire burst in his eyes at that suggestion. He didn’t seem to like that one bit.

“I need to tell the girls anyway. Just…be safe, okay?”

“I’m driving you there. I’m not leaving you alone.”

“I’m not going to have my life dictated again,” I told him.

“You just told me that some psychopath is out there, and you expect me to let you drive off alone? Fuck no, Jules.”

“Okay. You’re right,” I said. I didn’t want to fight.

I’d just dropped a lot on Austin. It was unfair of me to just expect him to be okay with something I’d been dealing with all of my adult life. Not that I was okay with anything that had happened with Dillon.

Austin seemed frazzled the rest of the time as we got ready. All the tension that had left his body from the hot sex we’d had was gone. He threw on jeans and a button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. After running product through his hair, he hustled me out of his house in my slightly damp dress. He finally conceded in letting me drive my own car, but he followed me all the way to Heidi’s.

We both parked in the driveway. He hopped out of his idling car and came around to help me out.

“Thanks,” I said, leaning forward to kiss him.

“Are you sure I should still go out tonight?”

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s your best friend’s birthday.”

His cupped my cheeks and dragged me into a slow, steady kiss. “Be safe, Jules.”

“I’ll be fine. I promise.”

He sighed and looked like he wanted to say so much more, but that was when Landon stepped out of the front door.

“Do I get to take your piece-of-shit car to the party?”

Austin flipped him off. “Watch your mouth!”

Landon snickered. “Come on. Let’s get going. Patrick is going to be surrounded by those douchey gym bros you all hang with. He’ll need some class.”

“Then, why are you coming?” Austin asked.

Landon punched him as he passed by, walking toward the Alfa Romeo. “Can I drive?”

“Fuck no,” Austin said. “No one drives my car!”

Landon slid into the driver’s side anyway.

“See? You’ll have a good time.”

“If I don’t kill my brother in the meantime.”

“You love him.”

“Yeah. I do.”

Austin kissed me one more time before kicking Landon out of the driver’s seat and zooming off toward Patrick’s party. I sighed with relief. I was glad that conversation was done with. He had some time to hang with the guys and decompress. Hopefully, that would help him wrap his head around the truth bomb I’d dropped on him.

Now, I had to do it all over again with my girls. They deserved to know as well. Especially because, if Dillon was here in Lubbock, then no one was safe. Not really.

I took a deep breath and then went inside to find Heidi and Emery. Heidi was in a hot-pink sundress with her blonde hair in long, beachy waves. Emery was in cutoff jean shorts and Converse. Apparently, I’d chosen incorrectly for girls’ night.

Heidi arched an eyebrow at my appearance. “Girl, what the hell did Austin do to you?”

I smiled. “Nothing I didn’t ask for.”

Emery snorted, next to Heidi. “I like it.”

“We were thinking shopping and maybe takeout. You could borrow something of mine if you wanted to be more comfortable.”

It was my turn to look disbelieving. “Since when would I ever fit in your clothes?”

“You could!” Heidi cried. “I have a dress that would fit you so well.”

“Can we…can we talk before we go?” I asked.

Heidi and Emery shared one of their customary looks before nodding. We moved into the living room with the exposed wood beam ceiling and stone fireplace. It was stunning. Obviously custom built.

“What’s up?” Heidi asked. “Did something happen with you and Austin?”

“Yes, but no. Nothing serious.”

I frowned down at my tightly clasped fingers and then delivered the news I’d told Austin. A weight lifted off of me as I finally got to divulge who I really was to my friends. And better yet…they didn’t hate me. They didn’t hate me for lying and hiding who I was. Dillon had always said that anyone who really got to know me could never really like me. No one other than him, of course. It was hard to dispel that poisonous voice whispering in my ear.

“So,” Heidi said, shaking her head, “how about we skip shopping and get that restraining order?”

“All in favor, say aye,” Emery said.

“Aye!” Heidi and Emery said together. They raised their hands in unison.

“I’m going to go with Austin in the morning. I think he might be upset if I went without him.”

“This Dillon guy really did a number on you,” Emery said. “And I thought I’d had bad relationships.”

“Yeah, Julia, I can’t imagine what you’re still dealing with,” Heidi chimed in. “What you had to endure all those years.”

“Giving up a full-ride scholarship,” Emery muttered.

Of course she would snag on that. She’d gotten a full ride to Oklahoma and dropped out of her PhD program after her professor boyfriend cheated on her. She was now a high school teacher. I wasn’t surprised that the idea of someone smart screwing up in such a spectacular way hurt her.

“Not my best move.”

Not my worst either…

“Well, we don’t have to go out if you’re worried something could happen,” Heidi said.

“I’m not, but Austin is. I just can’t figure out what Dillon is up to. Why break into my car and steal nothing? Why take my jacket out of my own freaking apartment and then return it? I mean, he put it back on a hanger in my closet! Why have my car towed? Why freaking send the lilies?”

“He’s playing a game,” Emery said. “He wants it to all add up, to freak you out.”

“Yeah. He’s a manipulative bastard.”

“And you can’t prove he did any of that,” Heidi said, chewing on her bottom lip. “Even the towing. Didn’t you say that the guy had said the company called it in? He’s not leaving a trail. Just terrorizing you from afar.”

“Pussy,” Emery spat.

“Hey, a pussy can take a beating!” Heidi said. “I bet he’s more like balls. The slightest flick sends him to his knees.”

I laughed at her analogy. “Either way, he’s dangerous. I knew that when I got out. Having him here, in Lubbock…” I shuddered and closed my eyes.

The last time I’d seen Dillon flashed before my eyes. The way he’d held me. By my hair. The way he’d spat in my face. Literally and figuratively. The terror as he lost control. Fucked up on who knew how many drugs. Pissed at me for…God, everything. Just everything.

“Hey,” Heidi said, sinking into the cushion at my side. “You are not alone in this.”

Emery took the seat on the other side. “We are here. Austin is here. You have the full weight of the Wrights behind you.”

“And, really, all you need is us,” Heidi said, nudging me. “Em and I can fuck shit up.”

Emery rolled her eyes. “Have you been taking kickboxing again?”

“It’s a good workout.”

“Dear Lord.” Emery shook her head. “What she’s trying to say is…you have us. We’re sisters now. We’ll do everything to make this right.”

I wanted to believe them. I appreciated what they were saying. But they didn’t know Dillon. And, if they did, they wouldn’t want to get involved. I wouldn’t want them involved.

But I smiled and nodded. I agreed to stay in and have a chill night. Emery put on Buffy the Vampire Slayer while Heidi found some sweats and a T-shirt that did actually fit me, to my utter shock. I suspected the pants at least belonged to Landon.

“Oh my God,” Heidi said when she came back into the living room. “If we have to watch Angel become Angelus one more time, Em, I swear!”

“But it’s the best season!”

“Give me some Spike! All the Spike!”

Emery muttered something vulgar under her breath with a muffled, “Team Angel,” and then changed the TV to a different season.

Heidi piled up bowls full of ice cream so high, it rivaled Kevin McCallister in Home Alone. We all sat down and dug in.

I was with Heidi. I liked bad-boy Spike. But for me…not Buffy.

And that had been my problem for all of time. I always wanted the bad boys. It was as if I were marked or something. My mind drifted to Dillon, even as I tried to forget him. This was not how I’d wanted this night to go. Not at all.

But I was lucky at least. I had found friends who actually stuck by me. Girlfriends that I’d never had before. Not even close. And a family behind me. Not a family I couldn’t even claim.

I chewed on my fingernail and promised myself that I’d enjoy the rest of this night. Dillon had his own agenda. If I let him interrupt my day, then he’d win. He wanted to throw me off and to make me feel like I was never safe.

Well, I wouldn’t let him win.

Fuck that!

Never again.