Thirty-Seven

Austin

I left rehab with one suitcase and a box of letters.

It had been the longest ninety days of my life, yet…it had flown by. I’d been skeptical when I first arrived. How could ninety days change my life? But it had. In more ways than I could even articulate.

For the first time in a decade, my thoughts were clear. I had a foundation to continue my path and grow into the person I’d always wanted to be. Instead of the drunk I’d become. I still had a lot to make up for. Relationships that I’d splintered, work that I’d neglected, and trust I needed to build up again.

But one step forward.

One step at a time.

Jensen had sent the private jet to pick me up from the facility, and I flew from Malibu to my home alone.

In some way, it was fitting. I might have shown up to rehab with Jensen, but my road to recovery had been a long one, and I’d had to do it all by myself. After all my time away, I needed to prove I could return home on my own, too.

The plane touched down at Lubbock International Airport in the middle of the afternoon on the day before Halloween. After months with an oceanside vista, Lubbock looked flat as a pancake and lifeless. Yet…it was home.

This was the longest I’d been away since that one summer I was an intern in California. Apparently, California was the place I got away. Not that I was in any hurry to get out of here again.

I carried the box of letters off the plane and was handed my suitcase after disembarking. My eyes flickered over the empty tarmac in disappointment. I’d thought one of my siblings would have at least come to get me. I’d been gone for three months!

Then, I heard an engine revving behind me. I whirled around and found my shiny red Alfa Romeo idling. Fuck, I’d missed that car. It had been weird, not driving. I was more than ready to get behind the wheel and take off.

I laughed and headed for the car. Man, it was good to be home.

I had almost made it to the driver’s side when the door popped open, and out came a vision. The girl I’d been dreaming about seeing for three very long months.

“Julia,” I said in awe.

I drank her in. She’d changed her hair. It was lighter and shone in the fading afternoon sun. And that wasn’t the only change. She looked…happier. A coy smile touched her lips, and her dark eyes lit up. She was in black skinny jeans and a black V-neck T-shirt that hugged her curvy features. Paint smudged her fingers. It looked like it belonged there.

And she was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

“Hey, Austin.”

“Are you driving my car?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

She laughed. “You gave me permission.”

“That was one time!”

“Well, she handles like a dream. I might even keep her.” She patted the roof. “Red really is my color.”

“Fuck, I missed you,” I said, stepping up to her.

“Oh, yeah?” Her eyes twinkled in delight.

“Every day.”

“I missed you, too.”

I set the letters down on my suitcase and left it behind as I approached Julia. She leaned back against the car and tilted her head up to look at me.

“That’s really fucking good to hear.”

“How was your last week?”

“Long. I was ready to come home.”

“But you needed to stay?”

I nodded. “I needed the whole time. And probably years more of outpatient treatment to make sure I don’t relapse again.”

“You think that’s going to happen?” she asked, worry in her voice.

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“I like hearing that.”

God, I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to feel her lips against mine and taste that cherry flavor and get lost in her. I wanted so much. But we hadn’t made any promises in all of our letters. I hadn’t even known that she’d be the one picking me up today. It had been a long game of waiting to find out if she’d forgive me for what had happened. Not forget it because no one could forget, but learn to move forward. I’d done all of this for me, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hope that it’d helped my chances with Julia.

“It’s really good to see you,” I told her instead.

I wasn’t going to press. If she wanted this, she’d let me know.

“I know. I’m glad you’re back.” Then, her eyes rounded, and she started laughing. “But you have a runaway suitcase.”

I whipped around and saw that the wind had carried my suitcase and the precious box of letters away from me. I dashed after it and scooped them both up. Julia was cracking up, laughing, when I returned.

“Oh, that was good to watch.”

“Thanks for the heads-up.”

She leaned down into the car to pop the trunk, and I placed my suitcase inside and fit the letters next to it.

“I brought you a present,” she said when I came back around to the front.

“What’s that?”

She tossed Waffle at me. I caught the pink-sequined unicorn in both hands and stared at the designs that Julia had added to our unicorn love child.

“I’ve had custody for two months. I think it’s your turn to pitch in. Don’t want to be a neglectful parent.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“So, back to your house?” she asked.

“Actually…I sold it.”

“You what?” she gasped. “You didn’t tell me!”

“I had Jensen hire someone while I was gone.”

Her eyes were wide. “You loved your house!”

“I know. I still do. It sucks. But I bought that house, gutted it, and redid it because it was walking distance to all the bars. I thought being that close to temptation wasn’t going to be healthy.”

“Wow,” she whispered. “That’s really…responsible.”

I laughed. “It’s more like playing chess. I have to second- and third-guess every choice I make to see if it could somehow coincide with the life I lived before or if it might trigger a reaction that would send me over the edge again. I’m still learning to manage those triggers.”

“So, where are you staying?”

“Jensen said I could stay with him.”

She nodded. “Smart. Well, are you ready to take her out for a ride?”

My eyes met hers. “More than anything.”

Julia’s cheeks heated. She knew I didn’t really mean the car.

We both got inside, and I turned over the engine. It purred to life. Then, I was pulling away from the airport and off onto the country back roads that would take me into Lubbock. The windows were rolled down, Julia’s hair whipped in the wind, and it was a perfect sort of freedom.

How had I taken this for granted before?

I had my car, my girl, and my freaking unicorn. Maybe I could have a life again.

We pulled up to Jensen’s house, and I parked in the driveway. I still didn’t know what I thought about my decision to stay with Jensen. I loved my brother, and he had a freaking mansion, but it wasn’t my place. I knew it was the right decision to get rid of the house. It was not the best place for me right now. Especially considering the last time I’d been in it and what had happened. I didn’t want those memories. It definitely wouldn’t assist my recovery.

“Let me help with the bags,” Julia said.

She grabbed the box where I kept all of her letters. It popped open when she adjusted it in her hands. Then, she froze, and a slow grin stretched her face. “Are all of these…mine?”

“Did you think I’d gotten rid of them?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I didn’t know.”

“They were the only other things of value I had with me. My therapist got me the box as a going-away present. It’s from a Buddhist healing temple or hippie community or something. Not sure, but it’s handmade.”

Julia laughed. “It’s perfect. Your therapist has good taste.”

“He knew how important the letters were to me.” I paused before adding, “How important you are to me.”

She smiled shyly, as if this were the first time I’d ever said something like that to her before. She touched my arm just briefly. I wondered what she was thinking. Was I pushing her? Going too fast? I felt like I was going slower than our snail mail. I didn’t want to fall back into old habits, but I would do anything to crash into her all over again.

“I kept all of yours, too,” she finally said. Then, she turned to walk through the front door.

A thrill ran through me. I felt like she was slowly acknowledging where this was going. When I followed her through the front door, suitcase in hand, my heart nearly beat out of my chest.

“Welcome home!” the roomful of people cheered.

She whirled around to stare at me with her mouth open and hand over her heart, as if to say that she hadn’t known either.

I laughed and dropped the suitcase as I took in the scene before me in awe. A giant Welcome Home sign was slung from one side of the living room to the other. Blue and green streamers hung from the fan way up above. A sheet cake was on a table in the center of the room with Welcome Home, Austin! in big blue and green letters. A handprint took up one side, and I noticed that Jensen’s son, Colton, had icing on his face.

And the best part of all, of course, was that my entire wonderful family was all together. Jensen had his arm around Emery, trying to restrain Colton. Kimber and Noah were standing together, holding a sleeping Bethany. Lilyanne was laughing at Colton’s face, and I suspected she might have had something to do with it.

Landon and Heidi were lounging on the couch with giant smiles on their faces. Patrick stood by Morgan. Neither of them looked as if they’d admit that they were drawn together. Next to Morgan, I was surprised to see the new CFO, David Calloway, in attendance. I supposed anyone that high up in the company was now a member of the Wright family. I hadn’t seen him since the Fourth of July when he was interviewed, but we’d been so caught up with Maverick’s death that I didn’t get that much time with him.

Then, my eyes landed on Sutton. She was still a shadow of her former self, and I knew no amount of therapy would help her with Maverick’s death. Her only link to her husband was toddling around at her ankles.

“Thank y’all so much. This means a lot to me,” I said to the crowd.

“We’re glad to have you back,” Jensen said. “We thought it would be nice to have everyone here to grill out and relax tonight.”

“I think it’s a great idea. Feel free to start with the cake,” I assured them. “I’m going to put my suitcase away.”

I hurried up the steps and found the guest bedroom. I stashed the suitcase in a corner and then sank onto the bed. Fuck, I loved having everyone together, but fear crept through me. Events like this had always involved alcohol. Not that they would now, but…it was hard not to worry. Not to wonder.

I’d prepared myself for this kind of thing. But it was a bit much.

“Knock, knock,” Julia said, leaning into the guest bedroom. “You okay?”

I opened my mouth to tell her that I was fine. But I wasn’t. “A little overwhelmed actually.”

“I can see that. Don’t feel bad for taking a minute. They all care about you and won’t mind.” She set the box of letters down on a dresser and then came to sit next to me.

“I feel like recovery has really just begun. Today, there’s a party, and tomorrow is Halloween. It’s a lot all at once.”

“You’re being hard on yourself. You’ve come a long way. The first weekend might be a challenge. Hell, it might always be a challenge,” she said, reaching out and threading our fingers together. “But you have people who care for you…people who want to help.”

My eyes bore into hers with all the intensity from our time apart. She bit her lip and then glanced down at my mouth. I was about to respond when she leaned forward and pressed her lips against mine. It was tentative at first. As if she couldn’t believe she had done it in the first place. Then, her hand knotted in my shirt, and she pulled me closer. My hands went into her hair, and I cupped her face.

Every day that I’d spent without her, I pushed into that kiss. Fear that I’d lost her forever. Regret that I’d probably deserved it. Hope that she’d changed her mind. Despair that I hadn’t thought she would. Lust…so much lust. And more…so much more.

I didn’t want to ever stop kissing her. She tasted like cherry and turned my world upside down. The way she used her tongue heated my blood. Her body under my practiced hands sent shivers up her skin.

This was paradise. Nothing more than that one perfect kiss.

When she finally drew back, pink-cheeked and breathless, she smiled and dropped another hasty kiss on my lips. “I’ve wanted to do that since I picked you up.”

“Same,” I admitted, just as short on breath.

“Then, why didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was pushing you. I thought that maybe you didn’t want me at all.”

“Oh, Austin.” She leaned her forehead against mine. Our breath mingled in the short distance. “Our second chance destroyed us. I thought I wouldn’t want you…that I couldn’t want you again. But then…something happened.”

“What happened?”

“You and I…we’ve healed. Not completely,” she said, pulling back to look into my eyes. “But I’d rather work on fixing all those wounds with you than without you.”

“I want that with you, too. I want everything with you.”

“How about we just start over?”

“Do you think we can do that? After everything I did?”

“I don’t like how you reacted when you hit rock bottom or that I was hurt when you did it. But I can’t ignore that you’ve done everything to make yourself better, and that includes with me. I wasn’t sure how I felt, and then I saw you. Now, I know that I want to try again.”

“I’m going to be a better man for you, Julia,” I assured her, pulling her in for another kiss. “That’s a damn promise.”