Twelve

Julia

What the hell did I just do?

I’d been single a total of one whole week, and already, I was jumping back into things with Austin. On a scale from one to horrible life choice, I was pretty high up there.

But I couldn’t back down now. Even though I still thought slapping him sounded like the better option, I couldn’t deny what Heidi and Emery had said. They’d laid it out, and plain and simple, Austin was chasing me. He had to still be interested in me to do that. And not just in the physical sense because I knew he could get it a lot easier than me.

I had reasons to run. Good reasons. But I had a hard time listening to my head when my heart and body were screaming at me. Austin ignited something in me. When we were together, we were electric. Sometimes, that was amazing, and sometimes, it completely blew up in my face, as it had two years ago.

I was rolling the dice and hoping I’d beat the house.

It made the rest of the week drag. Anticipation hit me like a sledgehammer. I swore, every day, all day, was like watching water boil. I couldn’t tell if the churning in my stomach was nerves or excitement. I tried not to overanalyze it, but that was nearly impossible. Overanalyzing situations down to the smallest part was kind of my job. It made it hard not to do it in my own life.

“Really, just chill out,” Heidi said on Friday afternoon as I was finally, finally leaving the office.

“That’s easy for you to say. You’re engaged. Shit all worked out.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t rainbows and fucking unicorns when it all happened. You remember that.”

I winced. “Yeah. I do.”

Heidi sighed. “Look relationships aren’t easy. Especially not with the Wrights. They have actual skeletons in their closets and, sometimes, psycho ex-wives and a legion of devoted fans.” Heidi shook her head. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is, enjoy your time. If he acts like a dick, then ditch him.”

“Sage advice from my bubblegum queen.”

Heidi rolled her eyes. “One day, I will get you into pink.”

“I’d like to see that.”

“One day, damn it.” She laughed and shook out her blonde mane. “So, call me after the date to fill me in on the details. Unless, of course, you make it an all-nighter.”

“Heidi!”

She held her hands up. “Then, I expect a report tomorrow or whenever you two surface.”

“You’re horrible.”

“It’s not like it’s the first time. Right?”

“Well, we’re starting over.”

“Did you really tell him no alcohol?”

I nodded.

“You’re brave. I love you.”

She waved at me and then jogged over to her car to get out of the oppressive heat. This was the first week we’d hit the high nineties, and I was already dying. My pale skin was not used to these rays. It got hot in Akron, but nothing compared to Texas summers. This Ohio girl was not a fan of this weather.

I thought about Heidi’s comment the entire drive back to my apartment. Had I been brave for asking Austin not to drink on our date? I didn’t know if it was bravery or stupidity. Things had fallen apart last time because of his drinking. Maybe I was a fool to think that it wouldn’t wreak havoc this time around as well. But I had to at least try.

Despite knowing that we were going out after the shooting range, I didn’t put on anything fancy. Just a black V-neck tank top, a pair of shorts, and my Vans slip-ons that he’d tried to ruin at the lake. I hoped we weren’t going anywhere that I needed to be dressed nicer than this.

I shrugged off the momentary anxiety. Austin didn’t care what I was wearing. The last time we’d been together, we’d hardly left his bedroom. So, I knew he gave zero fucks about what kind of clothes I wore. Not that I intended to end up in his bedroom. This was not going to be a repeat of the last time we had been together.

At six o’clock, I pulled into the parking lot at the shooting range. Austin was already parked outside in his shiny red Alfa Romeo that stood out among the standard-issue Texas pickup trucks. He hopped out of the car when he saw me pull up. He was there, opening my car door and helping me out of my own damn car.

“Hey, Jules,” he said with a genuine smile.

Warmth shot through me at the smile on his face and the feel of his hand in mine and the way he regarded me with a mix of adoration and desire. This was the Austin Wright I had dated two years ago. The one who had intrigued me so entirely.

“Hey.”

I didn’t drop his hand, and he didn’t pull away. He just stared down at me, enraptured. Our bodies were nearly pressed together in the close space, and I even momentarily forgot about the Texas heat. I just wanted to be near him.

That was the hard part. We fought like cats and dogs. Yet…I missed him and what we had once had before he royally fucked up.

But I pulled back, let loose a pointed cough, and he got the message. He took a step back and dropped my hand.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked.

I laughed and reached into the backseat to pull out the carrying case for my Glock 43. “More than ready.”

“You came prepared.”

“I’m here two or three times a week. I’m always prepared.”

His eyebrows rose. “I didn’t know you came that often.”

“Well, when we were last together, I didn’t.”

“What made you change your mind?” he asked, holding the door open for me to enter the range.

I averted my gaze and shrugged. “Can never be too prepared.”

“Next, you’re going to tell me that you have a concealed carry permit.”

My matching grin said it all.

“Fuck,” he groaned.

The word heated me from the inside out, and I hastily entered the premises.

“Julia!” Tip said from behind the counter.

“Hey, Tip,” I said as Austin followed behind me.

“Perfect timing, as usual. I have you on six today.”

“I’ll need one nearby, too,” I said, nodding my head at Austin.

“No problem. I can put him in seven.”

Tip smiled warmly at us both as he got Austin a gun and both of us ammo as well as protective gear. I waved at Tip again as we left to grab our lanes.

“So, you are here a lot,” Austin confirmed.

“Pretty much.”

“That guy is so into you.”

I laughed. “He so is.”

Austin shot me a look I didn’t understand.

“What?”

“Most girls don’t notice.”

“Good thing I’m not a girl then. I’m a woman.”

Austin laughed softly. “That is a very good thing.”

As Austin fiddled with the gun and began to load the ammunition, I pulled out my baby and inspected it. This was my first real purchase in Lubbock, and I was proud of it.

I might not originally be from Texas, but I’d grown up around guns. I knew my way, forward and backward, around them. From a rifle to a handgun and back. I’d gone hunting with my dad as a kid, and the shady neighborhood I’d grown up in made it clear that a gun and the ability to know how to fire one were necessary.

When I’d first been looking for a place to rent, I’d looked at a house with a legit gun safe with eight different locks and a keypad. That was the moment I knew that I’d fit right in, in Lubbock.

“All right, show me what you’ve got, Wright,” I said, motioning for him to go first.

He shot me a cocky grin before pulling on the protective headphones and aiming at the target. He carefully and methodically unloaded into the target down the line. My heart rate picked up. Watching Austin shoot was magical. The intensity in his gaze, the perfect stance, the slight kickback. It was more of a turn-on than I had imagined. I squeezed my legs together as my lower half responded full force to him.

He laughed when he put the gun down and pulled his headgear off. “I forgot how much fun that is.”

“Adrenaline rush, right?” I asked.

His eyes traveled the length of my body, and then he nodded. “Your turn, Banner.”

I swallowed and slowly averted my gaze. The tension between us was thick, and I needed to concentrate. When I worked with my gun, I went completely in the zone. Nothing else existed around me in that moment. It was me and the gun and the target.

When I finished my magazine, Austin’s expression said everything I needed to know. He eyes were glazed, his lips parted, his body angled toward me. Watching me shoot had done the same thing that it had when I watched him. If we kept this up, we wouldn’t even make it to the second part of the date.

I cleared my throat. “So, uh, what did you think?”

“Not bad.”

“Not bad? Are you joking?”

“Pretty good.”

“I’ll show you pretty good when we get our targets back, and I kicked your ass.”

“So competitive.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Oh, absolutely,” he said. “But watching you makes me want to get out of here, Jules.”

“Does it?” I asked breathily. I placed my gun down and fully faced him.

“You know it does.”

“Is that what this is?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking. “Just sex…again?”

“No,” he answered automatically.

“Are you sure?” I was being combative for no reason.

“I’m here on your terms. You know I want you. But I’m fucking trying. Why can’t I want you without an argument?”

I held my hands up in surrender. He was right. Not that I wanted to say that out loud.

“It’s hard after what happened last time.”

“Living in the past is a surefire way to screw this up.”

“I know,” I whispered. But that was my life. I couldn’t stop living in the past. “Let’s start over. Hi, I’m Julia Banner.”

I extended my hand to him, and he firmly took it in his own.

“Austin Wright.”

He tugged me toward him so that we were between the lanes. Movement was going on all around us. It was loud as hell. And we probably were supposed to be focused on the shooting range. But none of that mattered.

My body was pressed against his, and everywhere he touched sent shivers straight through me. His hand tilted my chin up toward him. Our eyes locked, as if he was waiting for permission, making sure I wouldn’t snap at him, as I had in the past. But all he saw from me was compliance. Maybe I did need to live in the present more.

His lips touched down on mine, and I surrendered to him.

For a moment, the stars aligned. The world felt right. Just the taste of his lips and the incredible feel of him against me. The memories of days spent locked together flooded my conscience. As Austin took over, I released into a free fall.