Thirty-Two

Julia

I was going to be sick.

Definitely, definitely sick.

I was standing outside of the police station with Landon, Heidi, and Austin. They’d already called Jensen and Morgan, and Jensen had assured them that he’d have his attorney there as soon as possible. I knew that he’d said I shouldn’t say anything until the attorney got there, but I worried. What if something had happened? What if I was somehow at fault?

I couldn’t shake the feeling. Dillon could charm the cops. Sure, he had a warrant out for his arrest and now had aggravated assault and battery charges from Austin. They wanted to press for kidnapping and domestic violence for me. But is it still kidnapping if I had gone willingly? And would the assault charges hold up if Austin had hit him first?

I wouldn’t put it past Dillon to have already figured a way to get out of all of this.

“Are you ready?” Heidi asked, coming up to my side.

“Yeah. I think so.”

My eyes darted to Austin’s for a split second before I walked through the front door. I could do this. I didn’t need to think about what had happened with Austin last night or the desperation in his voice this morning. I was hurting him. I didn’t want to. But I couldn’t seem to stop.

We spoke with a man at the front desk before he directed us to a detective’s office. I had Heidi, Austin, and Landon wait outside the office.

Heidi squeezed my hand and nodded. “We’ll be right here,” she said, pointing at a group of folding chairs across the hall.

“Thanks, Heidi.”

“Of course. Good luck.”

I nodded and then entered the room. The detective was an athletic woman with frizzy ginger curls and freckles. She had a shrewd appearance about her. I wouldn’t want to fuck with her.

“Uh, hi. I’m Julia Banner. I’m here about the Dillon Jenkins arrest.”

“Of course, Miss Banner,” she said, “please take a seat. I’m Detective Taylor.”

“Thank you, Detective,” I said, sitting.

“We want to thank you for your confidence in this situation and everyone’s help. The information about Dillon Jenkins led us straight to a place on the east side of Lubbock. He was arrested with the possession of a stolen vehicle, and his premises, where he was illegally living under the false name of Evan Brown, had cases of cocaine stashed, presumably after crossing the Mexican border.”

I sighed. Of course he hadn’t just been harassing me. He’d been working, too. Setting up a run between the Mexican border and probably going all the way back to home.

“You don’t seem surprised,” she said.

“How can I be? He just got out of prison on good behavior. They couldn’t crack him for dealing drugs even though he’d been doing it since he was twelve.”

“I read your statement. You were very brave, coming forward,” she said, rifling through a stack of papers. “You have a long history with this man.”

“Yes. Where is he now?”

“Jail. And he’ll stay there. I can’t think of a judge alive who would let him out on bond. Maybe if it had just been the violation of probation charge, but with everything—”

“I…I don’t have to see him? To identify him?” I gasped out.

The detective looked at me, startled. “No, we found him in record time. We just wanted to speak with you and let you know the details since you were under a temporary order of protection.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s…that’s really good.”

Another knock came from the door, and a squat man stuck his head inside. My lawyer, I presumed.

“Detective, I see you’re speaking with my client.”

“Jake,” the woman said with a sigh. “And I thought you only worked for the Wrights.”

He shrugged. “Seems she’s a Wright.”

I frowned. No, I certainly was not.

“Come on, Julia. Let’s go somewhere else and talk.”

Jake hauled me out of the detective’s office and started speaking a million miles a minute. But my head was spinning with just one solid fact—Dillon was behind bars. And, if we played our cards right…he could be there for a very long time.

A sob caught in my throat. It was far from over, but he wasn’t on the loose anymore. He wasn’t going to find me and kill me. He wasn’t going to go after all the people I loved here. He might have ruined so many things, but he wasn’t going to take this new life from me.

I spent a few hours in a secluded office with Jake McCarty, going over everything that had happened. By the time I finished, I felt like I’d been wrung out.

“How much is this all going to cost?” I asked finally.

Jake grinned and put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “I’m on retainer for Jensen. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

But I did. I didn’t want to be indebted to the Wrights. I knew it was impossible to be rid of them, considering I worked for the company and each of my closest friends was dating a Wright brother. But it worried me that this was all related to Austin…that I never would have gotten this otherwise. And, if that was the case, then I’d rather just pay my own legal fees if need be.

At the same time, I was unbelievably grateful. I never would have known where to start finding someone. Certainly not someone like Jake McCarty.

“We have a long road ahead of us, Miss Banner. But I can assure you that I’ll do everything to see that Dillon Jenkins is behind bars for life. It would give me great pleasure to know that he could never harass you again.”

I gave him a little half-smile at the notion. To be rid of Dillon forever? It seemed impossible.

“Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

I left the room and found that only Austin was still waiting for me. God, he really looked fucked up. His face was a wreck. It’d been cleaned up some, but, Christ, it couldn’t be safe for him to be driving, could it?

I wanted to be indifferent, like I’d told him I was, but I wasn’t indifferent to Austin. I was crazy about him and still brimming with anger. But the more I showed either of those emotions, the more he would think we could get back together. I wasn’t ready for that. I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready for that.

“Hey,” he said, rising to his feet.

“Hey.”

“Can I take you back to Landon and Heidi’s?”

I chewed on my lip and then nodded. I needed to get out of this police station. When we were back out in the hot, dusty Lubbock air, I finally felt like I could breathe again. It made no sense.

“Where did Heidi and Landon go?” I asked.

“I think they wanted to get a bite to eat and pick up the Tahoe from Flips.” He shrugged as we approached his car. “Apparently, Heidi snagged your keys earlier.”

“That sounds like her.”

“How do you feel? With Dillon back where he belongs?”

I shrugged. “Numb.”

“Yeah.”

“I know it should feel like a victory, but it feels more like a joke.”

“How so?”

“Like I’ll wake up, and thinking I’m safe from him is the punch line to a joke.”

“I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“Doesn’t change how I feel.”

I walked around to the passenger side of his shiny red car. But he paused before opening the door. He stared down at his keys and then tossed them across the roof of the car. I caught them with one hand.

“You wanted to drive her, right?”

I stared at him, momentarily in shock. “You never let anyone drive your car.”

“I know.”

That was all he said as he walked around to the passenger side of the car. He dropped a kiss onto my forehead and then sat down.

I pulled myself out of the trance. What the hell was happening? I was getting to drive the Alfa Romeo?

I sank into the driver’s seat and adjusted the seat for my short legs. He laughed when I had to pull the mirror all the way down if I was going to have any hope of seeing out the back. I thanked my dad for teaching me how to drive a stick the one time he’d been sober in my teen years. Then, I flew out of the police station.

Landon and Heidi’s house was further out in the country, so I got to take her on long stretches of flat land. She really opened up then, and for those blissful minutes, I felt free.

When I pulled into the driveway, a smile was plastered to my face. “Now, I get the car.”

“Exhilarating, right?”

“Like flying without the fear of heights that comes with actual flying.”

Austin leaned across the seat as the soft rumble of the car sounded beneath us. His hand went to my cheek, and I flinched. He sat back.

“I don’t understand, Julia. Dillon is behind bars. You’re safe again. You can move on with your life. You don’t have to be tied to his shadow.”

“You know why I’m afraid of heights?”

He looked intrigued by my change of direction. “No.”

“Well, I always was. But it was really more the fear of falling. I had dreams of falling endlessly, like Alice when she went down a rabbit hole. But Dillon found out about my fear, about how much I hated heights. Then, he spent the next couple of years terrorizing me…apparently, in a way to get rid of my fear. Fear is weakness and all that.”

Austin’s jaw clenched despite the pain I could see on his face.

“What put me over the edge the day that I decided to get out was because he took me to the top of our apartment building at the time and dangled me there by my wrist.” I met his angry eyes. “My broken wrist. The wrist he’d broken.”

“Fuck, Julia.”

“My fear didn’t go away just because he’d dragged me up to the top of the building. My fear of Dillon isn’t going to disappear just because he can’t reach me anymore either.”

“I understand that.”

“Do you?” I asked. “Because I don’t think you understand. I don’t want us to be together.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand that, Julia.”

“Just because Dillon is behind bars…doesn’t change any of the other reasons I broke up with you. I wish it did, but if I’m not going to be the victim anymore, then I have to apply that to all things in my life. I’m sorry.” I choked on that word. “I really am sorry.”

I tried to get out of the car, but he grabbed my hand. “Julia, please don’t go.”

“Austin…”

“It’s really over?”

His eyes searched mine for a flicker of hope. But I didn’t give him one.

“Yeah…it really is.”

I wanted to feel good about walking away and taking control of my life. But, when I entered Landon and Heidi’s house without Austin, I just felt empty. I wanted Austin. But I wanted him sober, honest, and without an ex-girlfriend who just might show up naked at his place. I couldn’t make him want those things. And he hadn’t proven to me that it was even possible. Knowing all the addicts in my life who had failed over and over and over again, I doubted it ever would be.