Raven heard a knock on her door, and smiled because of how efficient Michelle always was. As usual, she was right on time with bringing Raven a copy of her revised sermon notes.
“Come in.”
The door eased open, and Raven smiled. But when she saw who it was, her happy demeanor vanished.
“Good morning,” John said.
Raven wondered why he was dropping in on her unannounced. “Good morning.”
He walked closer to her desk. “I know you’re getting ready for your sermon, but I just needed to see you. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your honesty.”
“About what?” she said, forcing herself to smile again.
“Your feelings for me and how you’ve cared for me all this time.”
“I’m glad we were finally able to tell the truth,” she said.
“I also know that it will take you a little time to end things with Kane, but I’m fine with that.”
Raven almost frowned, but stopped herself. Did he honestly think she was planning to break up with Kane for him? “I’m glad you understand, because we’ve dated for a while now. And it won’t be easy.”
“Of course, and that’s why I’m willing to be as patient as you need me to be. But I won’t lie, I hope it happens soon.”
Raven leaned back in her chair. “Don’t worry, it will. I promise.”
“I’m sorry if I seem a little nervous, but I guess I just still can’t believe this is happening.”
Raven wondered how long he was planning to stay, because the last thing she wanted was for Kane to show up at her office. It also wouldn’t be long before Michelle arrived with her sermon notes, so Raven had to get rid of him.
Finally, she stood up, walked around her desk, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Well, it is happening. And I’m just glad we finally connected.”
“I’ve always wanted you,” he confessed. “Always.”
Raven pecked him on the lips. “I’ve always wanted you, too.”
John removed his glasses and kissed her like no one else was in the building, and she knew she had to end this little meeting of theirs.
“I don’t mean to rush you, but Michelle will be coming back soon and I don’t want her to suspect anything.”
“It’s not a problem, and I’ll get going,” he said, walking away and then looking back at her, smiling.
Raven waved good-bye to him and breathed a sigh of relief. She loved that he was clearly smitten with her, yet she also didn’t want him showing up whenever he felt like it. She couldn’t have people wondering what was going on between them, which meant she had to set some boundaries. She would have to make him understand that they needed to be more careful about their love affair—just until she broke up with Kane for good. She would need to tell that lie and many others to get what she wanted.
Raven looked across her congregation. “So by now, I’m sure all of you have seen my Facebook video. Which is why I first want to say how sorry I am for not sharing this part of my life with you first. Each and every one of you knows how much I love you and this church, so please know that it was never my intent for you to find out the way you did. But what I’ve had to learn, too, is that when God leads you to do something, you have to do it. You have to be obedient and not question Him, because He has a reason for everything. Even when I apologized to some of my staff members this past Tuesday for not telling them beforehand, either, I realized that my testimony isn’t about me. It’s about all the women and girls who God knew would be watching online that particular day.”
Everyone gazed at her with much compassion.
“But with that said,” she continued, “I’ve recorded a formal message just for all of you. My beloved members here at NVCC. Actually, Melvin and a couple of his media staff members were kind enough to come in at the last minute yesterday evening. I’d already recorded a quick message a couple of days ago, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that you deserved something different. Something that fully explains what I went through,” she said, stepping back and turning to look at one of the large-screen televisions. “We’re going to play it for you now, and it won’t take very long.”
Raven locked her hands together and held them low in front of her body. She waited for Melvin to cue up the message, and soon her face appeared on-screen.
“Good morning, NVCC. Today, I wanted to take some time to share a little more detail about what happened to me. As you know, nearly a decade ago, I was raped by a well-known pastor. It was before I was arrested and sentenced to prison, but until last Monday I’d never told another living soul. I’d walked around harboring this painful secret for years, pretending that it never occurred. I was devastated and traumatized in the worst possible way, but I still tried to forget about it. I tried to act as though it wasn’t reality. And I was successful with doing that…until last week, when God seemed to will me to tell the truth. Then, He made me see that hiding my abuse wasn’t helping anyone. So I did what I knew He wanted me to do, and I never thought twice about it. This was doubly hard for me to deal with because as some of you already know, I was also sexually abused while I was in foster care. I was raped twice and made to do other awful things to grown men, but I still went on with my life. I was strong and ambitious, and I did what I had to do to make it in this unkind and very vicious world. I did what women have been doing since the beginning of time. But then, when this happened to me again as an adult—and worse, I was violated by a prominent pastor—I was shaken to my core. I’d borrowed gambling money from him that I couldn’t pay back, and he used that against me. He kept asking me for his money, and then one Sunday afternoon…” Raven said, tearing up. “One Sunday afternoon, he showed up at my condo and did what he wanted. Only hours after preaching a sermon at his church, he sexually assaulted me. He treated me as though I was some animal on the street, and then he left. So needless to say, I was left wondering if God really existed. I wondered what I had done to deserve such cruelty and why this was happening to me again. But thank God that while I was in prison, I regained my faith. Then, when I was released, I married my ex-husband, became first lady of his church, and well, you know the rest of the story. And today, I’m doing well, both mentally and emotionally, and I will be fine. But before I end, I do want to say that I have purposely decided not to identify my predator. There’s a lot of talk online and also here locally about who it might be, but in order for me to move on from this, it’s just better not to name anyone. I just don’t want any old wounds ripping back open. Finally, though, I would like to ask that you would please keep me in your prayers and know that I appreciate your support. You all make my life complete, and I couldn’t be more honored to be your pastor and servant. I love you with all my heart. Thank you so much for listening, and God bless you.”
When the video ended, Raven turned back toward the congregation, and everyone applauded. They were proud of her for telling them more than what she’d shared with the general public, and this was the response she’d been shooting for. She wiped a few tears and thanked them again for supporting her, but when she glanced out at Kane he tossed her an angry look. John, on the other hand, seemed prouder than anyone, which she expected—but then her upbeat spirit vanished. And she tried to swallow the lump that was now lodged in her throat. She so wished her eyes had been playing tricks on her, but she knew they weren’t. D.C. had just walked inside the sanctuary, staring at her.
As one of the female ushers escorted him to a seat toward the back, he never took his eyes off her. Raven could, of course, ask herself why D.C. was there, but she knew his presence served only as yet another warning about his money. He had shown up to taunt her and make her uncomfortable, and she knew he wouldn’t stop until she paid him. She would’ve loved nothing more than to report D.C. to the police, but D.C. wasn’t someone you called the law on. If you did, it wouldn’t matter because one of his “people” would still be ordered to handle things accordingly. So again, she would have to pay D.C. his money as soon as she could, which meant John would need to be lured all the way in a lot sooner than planned.