Porsha finished praying one last time, picked up her message notes, and left her office. It was Sunday morning, and although two days had passed since Raven had been arrested, Porsha was still stunned. So much had happened in such a very short period of time, and now Porsha had to face the congregation for more reasons than she’d planned. She’d already decided that today would be the day she would officially resign as associate minister, but she hadn’t expected Raven to be locked up and waiting to be arraigned in court tomorrow. Porsha also hadn’t known until speaking with an attorney friend of hers yesterday that repeat felony offenders faced up to twenty years in prison. So she couldn’t help wondering why Raven had thought it was okay to steal money from a church again.
Everything had changed in a matter of days, but Porsha was trusting God to give her the words He wanted her to say this morning. She knew most of the parishioners were still in shock from seeing both local and national media coverage, so her hope was to try to console and reassure them that all would be well. And while she’d known that all the gory details would eventually be exposed, she wasn’t happy about Dillon leaking everything as quickly as he could through social media. The news outlets had, of course, reported on Raven’s embezzlement charges and her attempt to blackmail “her associate minister, Porsha Harrington,” but Dillon had made sure that everyone had also learned about Raven’s affair with her CFO.
As she walked farther down the corridor leading to the sanctuary, Kane walked toward her. Ever since Porsha and Raven had begun talking less and less, Porsha hadn’t spoken to Kane much, either. They said hello to each other on Sunday mornings and also at Bible study, but that was it.
As he walked closer, he smiled and so did Porsha. Then they hugged.
“I am so sorry,” he said. “Sorry that Raven tried to blackmail you, and that you’ve now been left to clean up her mess.”
“I know, but it has to be done. And I’m sorry, too. Because I know how much you loved her.”
“Yeah, well she obviously didn’t love me. If she had, she wouldn’t have started sleeping around on me the way she did.”
“I really am sorry,” Porsha said, reiterating her sentiments.
“None of that is your fault, but I just wanted to let you know that I still plan on being a member here and my prayers are with you.”
“I really appreciate that,” she said, knowing that he had no clue that she was stepping down from her position.
“Well,” he said, “I’d better try to go find a seat because needless to say, everyone is here today. Probably some people who aren’t even members.”
“I’m sure that’s true, and I sort of expected it.”
Kane hugged her again and opened the door leading into the sanctuary. He waited for her to enter, and then he continued up the far left aisle of the church.
Porsha walked across the front row and into the pulpit. When she stepped behind the podium, she smiled as much as she could, but it was hard seeing so many hurt, somber faces. Still, she began with 1 John 4:7, the way she had the last few Sundays.
“‘Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.’”
There were a few Amens and nods of agreement, but not nearly as many as she was used to hearing and seeing.
Still, she continued. “I have spent the last couple of days trying to figure out the best way to speak to all of you this morning, but first, I just want to say how sorry I am for everything. You all have supported this ministry to the fullest, some of you since the very beginning, and I know this is not how you expected things to turn out. When any of us decides to join a church, we do it because we love the message of the senior pastor and the overall atmosphere of the congregation. We also do it because we want our senior pastor to be very knowledgeable in the Word, to be loving and compassionate toward all people, and to have the utmost integrity. But unfortunately, not all pastors, or even associate ministers for that matter, do things the way they should. Many say one thing while standing in the pulpit on Sunday and then do something totally different when they leave the church. This is certainly not what God wants from his pastors and ministers, but sadly, this is sometimes the reality. They either start out with good intentions and go astray, or we discover that they never meant any good in the first place.
“And the reason I know this to be true is because for two years I have served as your associate minister when I’ve known all along that God never called me in that manner. He never called me to be a pulpit minister to preach His Word or to use that title to earn money.”
Some people raised their eyebrows, while others locked eyes with the person sitting next to them in shock. Worse than that, some showed a feeling of disgust.
“I know my confession is only adding to the pain you’re already dealing with, but I just couldn’t go another week without telling the truth. Raven is the founder of this church and the general ministry, but I completely funded the start-up and saw it as a business investment. I then earned the same monthly income that she did. And while I don’t want to judge Raven’s heart, I also don’t believe either of us ever chose the positions we did because of our love for God. I mean, I do love God with all my heart, but what I’m saying is that this wasn’t the reason I decided to become a minister. I did it because of what I knew the financial benefits would be. And I am so very sorry for that. You didn’t deserve to be lied to and treated this way, and I will spend the rest of my life regretting what Raven and I did,” she said as tears filled her eyes. “But my hope is that you will somehow find it in your heart to forgive me. I know it might take a very long time, but my prayer is that my future actions will eventually prove just how sincere I am and how much I love all of you.
“But before I take my seat, I would just like to share a few words of encouragement,” she said, gazing into as many faces as she could. NVCC had a capacity of 1,500, and not only was every seat taken, but some folks were standing across the back. “The Bible says that many are called but few are chosen, and as you can see, Raven and I called ourselves but we were not chosen by God. We also allowed money to become too much of a priority, and money should never be a deciding factor when a person enters ministry. The other thing that I want to share is that not everyone is chosen or destined to be a pulpit minister. There are many different ways to have a ministry, and I think that’s where so many people lose their way. They don’t realize that nursing home ministry, hospital ministry, bereavement ministry, jail ministry, shelter ministry, and so many others are very much needed. God has a calling for every single one of our lives, but just know that you don’t have to become a pastor or start your own church to do that. I also want to encourage you to keep your faith in God and to focus on your own personal relationship with Him. Because Lord knows, it is sometimes very easy to start worshiping and praising another human being, more so than we worship and praise God Himself. And as most of you know, Deuteronomy five, seven says very clearly, ‘You shall have no other gods before me.’ And that’s exactly what He means. So I hope you will continue to pray and diligently read your Word, because God’s Word is what will sustain you. I also hope you will begin praying for God to bless NVCC with a pastor who has been called and chosen by Him, because this is what will make all the difference here.
“And finally, I want you to know that I spent all of yesterday calculating every single dime that I’ve collected from this church over the last couple of years. And as a result,” she said, picking up a sealed envelope and showing it to the congregation, “I’ve written a check to NVCC for the full amount. I know this doesn’t make up for the pain I’ve caused you, but I still know that it’s the right thing for me to do. The church will, of course, be hiring another CFO, but I will still be giving this payment to one of the other lead staff members to deposit. It is the very least I can do, and again, I am truly sorry for everything. And with that said, please know that I love you, and that you will continue to be in my daily prayers. Always.”
She smiled again, and this time tears rolled down her face. But to her surprise, Kane stood up, slowly but firmly clapping his hands together. Then, a few more members got up and did the same thing. Soon, nearly everyone was standing and applauding, and as she stepped down from the pulpit, one person after another hugged her, thanked her, and told her that all would be well—including Michelle. This made Porsha cry even more, and although she was embarrassed and encumbered with guilt, she felt relieved. This morning, she’d been sure she’d have to leave NVCC and find another church, but now she didn’t think so. And if they would allow her to remain a member, she would do all she could to help them find a pastor who was called and chosen by God to minister. Porsha would also dedicate all her time to her Daughters of Ruth ministry and do exactly what Raven had tried to force her to do last week: sign away all her financial rights to New Vision Christian Center and New Vision Ministries, Inc. She would do it happily and willingly, because this was a new day for her. A whole new life. And she thanked God for allowing her another chance to get things right. She thanked Him for his love, mercy, and grace, because that was all she truly needed. It was all anyone would ever need if they trusted God. And that truth alone gave her hope—and made her smile.