Kane still hadn’t called Raven, but now he’d shown up at her home unannounced. Normally, she never cared if he dropped in without calling, but he was interrupting her Facebook Live preparation. D.C. had given her until midnight to complete the broadcast, and since it was already eight p.m., she wanted to get this over with.
“So I guess you’re not mad at me anymore?” she said, sitting on the sofa in her family room.
Kane sat across from her in one of the chairs. “I’m still not okay with what you did. You’re really wrong for this.”
“What? Telling my story? Being honest about what happened to me?”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. I’m talking about that video you recorded for the congregation. Because all that’s going to do is make people accuse Pastor Black even more.”
“I didn’t share that video with the public. That was only played for our members.”
“But baby, you know some of our members are going to tell family and friends outside of the church. It’s guaranteed.”
“Well, I can’t be responsible for what everyone else does,” she shot back. “And anyway, why are you so worried about a man who sent me to prison? A man who slept around on all three of his wives? You act like you care more about him than you do me.”
“That’s not true. Plus, you’re talking about Pastor Black’s past. He’s very public about his terrible history, but he also regularly shares why and how he changed for the better. But even if he hadn’t, no one should have to deal with these kinds of accusations. I told you that before, and now you’ve made things worse.”
“How?”
“By giving more details about your rape and then alluding to the fact that you borrowed money from this pastor, and when you wouldn’t pay him back he raped you. Well, everyone knows that you stole money from Pastor Black and then you went to prison.”
Raven was getting tired of Kane grilling her the way he was. “Exactly. I said in the video that I borrowed money. So why would anyone think I was referring to my situation with Pastor Black?”
Kane shook his head as though he thought she was lying. “Your choice of words won’t make a difference in some people’s minds. All most folks care about is the idea that you couldn’t pay back money you owed to a prominent pastor, and he raped you before you went to prison.”
“Well, that’s not my problem.”
“Why couldn’t you just say, ‘I won’t be identifying my predator, but I do want everyone to know that Reverend Curtis Black didn’t do this to me’? One sentence was all it would’ve taken.”
Raven knew she wasn’t getting ready to clear Pastor Black’s name out of the goodness of her heart, and that she was only doing it because D.C. was forcing her. But what a perfect opportunity she was being given to make it sound as though she were.
“Well, if you hadn’t rushed in here being so self-righteous, I would’ve told you about the broadcast I’m doing tonight.”
“Where?”
“On Facebook Live. I thought more about it, and I realized I was wrong. Just like you said.”
“So you’re actually going to say he didn’t do this to you?”
“I am, and I’ll admit something else. Even though I really was raped, a part of me was hoping that people would begin to think Pastor Black was my assaulter. Right or wrong, I still haven’t gotten over the fact that he sent me to prison. I also saw this as a good way to get back at Dillon. So you were right about everything you said last week. You know, about me not having a great relationship with my ex-husband or his family. I wanted them to suffer for causing me all the pain they did.”
Kane moved closer to the edge of the chair. “But sweetheart, you’re a pastor. And you preach about forgiveness all the time. So why would you want to cause this kind of harm to someone you no longer have to deal with?”
“Because maybe I’m not perfect like you, Kane,” she said matter-of-factly.
“I’m not perfect. Not even close. But lately you’ve been doing things that I don’t understand. You don’t seem to care who you hurt, and all you talk about is growing the ministry. Getting more members and online followers. Being the most well-known female pastor in the country. Making millions.”
“And you have a problem with that?”
Kane glared at her. “I do, and I don’t like the person you’ve become.”
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I mean, what’s wrong with wanting to be successful? What’s wrong with wanting to bring as many souls to the Kingdom as I can?”
“There’s nothing wrong with that at all, but you seem to be more concerned about fame and money. I mean, if you ended up with fifty thousand local members, I wouldn’t see anything wrong with that as long as you were doing things the way God wants you to. That this would be about His Kingdom and not yours.”
Raven frowned. “Oh, so now you’re judging me?”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do.”
“Well, it sounds to me like you’re saying I’m not a good person. That I’m actually a sinful one.”
“Well, as of late, you’ve been doing things I’ve never seen you do before, and I don’t like it.”
Raven heard everything he was saying, but she didn’t have time for this. She also needed to review the script that she’d written for the broadcast again. Although, the more the wheels turned in her head, she wondered if maybe this spat they were having was working in her favor. Maybe it was giving her a chance to suggest a breakup between them. It would only be temporary, of course, but if she and Kane were to end things, she’d be able to spend all the time with John that was necessary. She could even make John believe that she and Kane had broken up for good, and that she belonged to him now. This brief split between Raven and Kane would also allow her the freedom she needed to handle Porsha and put all of this madness behind her. When it was over, Raven would beg Kane to come back to her and they would resume their relationship.
“So you’re just going to keep staring at me?” Kane said. “Acting like this is no big deal?”
“To be honest, you’ve been doing things I don’t like, either,” she lied. “Asking me questions all the time and trying to tell me what to do. So maybe we should take a step back.”
“You mean break up?”
“Call it whatever you want.”
“I suggested that last week, so maybe we should. Especially if you’re planning to continue down this selfish and vengeful journey you’re on.”
“Well, I’m always going to do me,” she said in a callous tone. “And neither you nor any other man will ever change that. I won’t be controlled by anyone. Not even the perfect Kane Alexander.”
“Wow,” he said, standing up, and Raven wondered if she’d gone too far. She could see how hurt he was, but that wasn’t why she was doing this.
She almost took back some of her words, but he kept talking.
“You’ve really shown me a side of you tonight that I wasn’t counting on. But it is what it is.”
Raven wanted to rush over and hold him, but she had to be strong. She needed to get things in order, and this separation of theirs would allow her the chance to do it the right way. So instead, she watched Kane leave her house. She would miss being with him, but she knew these next four weeks would pass quickly. They wouldn’t take long at all.
Raven had checked her hair and makeup one last time, and now she was sitting in her home office at her desk. She’d recited her message out loud a few different times, both earlier today and again when Kane had left, so she was definitely ready.
She now picked up her smartphone, set it in its upright cradle, and clicked on the Facebook icon. Then she took a deep breath and opened the video feature. She waited about two minutes, allowing folks to join in, and finally began.
“Good evening, everyone, and I hope you’re doing well. I know it’s a bit unusual for me to broadcast a message on a Tuesday night, especially since I already did my normal Monday recording yesterday. But after seeing more and more rumors here and on other social media sites, I had to do some soul-searching. Last week, I’d decided not to identify the man who raped me, because I didn’t think it was necessary. I also didn’t want to relive any more of this awful part of my past than I had to. But then, lots of folks began wondering who this person was, and it wasn’t long before the majority of people began making assumptions. The name that came up more often than not was Reverend Curtis Black. At first, I didn’t understand why, but after speaking with others I realize now that because I worked for him right before being sent to prison, it sort of sounded as though I was referring to him. But tonight, I want to clear up these vicious rumors once and for all. My ex-father-in-law, Reverend Curtis Black—pastor of Deliverance Outreach here in Mitchell, Illinois—did not rape me. Pastor Black hired me to be his chief financial officer when I was barely thirty years old, and he trusted me like I was family. I hadn’t even met my ex-husband yet, but Pastor Black treated me and all his other employees exceptionally well. To my knowledge, not only did he never disrespect me or approach me in the wrong way, he also never did so with any other female employee. So while it is true that my marriage to his son ended in a very nasty divorce, Pastor Black had nothing to do with that. He was always kind to me, and sadly, I was the one who betrayed him when I was struggling with my gambling problem. But all of that is in the past, and that’s where I want it to stay. So finally, I just want to thank all of you again for the outpouring of love and support that you’ve shown me. This has certainly been both a trying and a very eye-opening week, but with God’s help I know I’m going to be fine. Thank you again, and know that my prayers are with you always,” Raven said, smiling. “Good night, and God bless you.”
She clicked the Stop button for the recording and breathed deeply again. If she’d been able to do things her way, she never would’ve spoken so highly of Pastor Black. But she also hadn’t wanted to take a chance on D.C. claiming that she hadn’t left Pastor Black “lookin’ like a saint.” Raven hated D.C., and getting rid of him a month from now wouldn’t be soon enough. More important, she would never have to think about that lowlife thug again.