I'm so fucking nervous. I don’t remember the last time my heart beat so damn hard in my chest. I shake out my hands again and start pacing.

“I’m telling you, she’s gonna say no.” I turn on my heels to face Anthony. The fucker’s grinning from ear to ear.

“You fucking love this, don’t you?” I ask him.

He smirks back at me and says, “You know I do. You get all stressed out about shit you shouldn’t be worried about.” He takes a sip of his drink and then adds, “Besides, you’ll have plenty of stress when the next list comes in.”

He’s right. I’m not as calm as Anthony is yet. I’m doing hits with him now. I’m cut off from familia business, and taking the contract hits instead. Anthony’s been showing me the ropes. And I have to admit I’m enjoying it, but I’ve got a ton of shit to learn.

I should probably be worried that I’m not really seen as a member of the familia by outsiders, but I’m not. Vince told me not to be. He’s my cousin, my blood, and he’s grown to love Tonya. All the family has.

He said things need to blow over, time to settle down. And I’m fine with that. I’d be lying if I said I was unhappy taking these hits with Anthony. It’s a nice change of pace, and less risk than what I’m used to. I don’t really give a shit what I do, so long as I have my family and my girl.

She’s accepted, especially with the women. They’ve been pampering the hell out of her since she’s pregnant with our little boy. She’s having a difficult time now that she’s so far along. But he's going to be here soon. We can't fucking wait.

“You're thinking about him, aren’t you?” Anthony asks. Then he teases, “He’s gonna ruin your sex life.”

I shake my head and grin at him. He's got a shit-eating grin on his face. “You said her pregnancy was gonna ruin our sex life, and look how good that turned out.” I can hardly keep up with her. My bad girl still wants me. All fucking day if she can. “You’re so damn negative, you know that?” I tell him, as I peek out of the back doors and into the restaurant.

“Yeah, I’m a little jealous, I gotta admit that.”

I look at my brother with surprise. “Of me?” He’s never been jealous of me my whole life.

He scrunches his forehead as he replies, “Don’t look at me like that. I can be jealous if I want.”

“If you wanna girl, go get one. You wanna baby, go make one.”

He huffs a laugh and downs his drink. “It’s not quite that simple, Tommy.”

I start to tell him, “Yeah, it is that simple,” but think back and realize that no, it's not. Not for the right one. Then I hear my girl. She’s laughing, and I’d recognize that beautiful sound anywhere. I open the door a crack and look out.

She’s in black leggings and a hot pink sweater that hugs her swollen belly. She went out for ladies’ night and looks so damn happy. Ava’s hanging on her arm. The two of them are close now. Thick as thieves. I’ve gotten to know more about Kane than I ever wanted.

“Showtime.” Anthony smacks my shoulder and gets ready to open the door.

“Not yet.” I say quickly, shutting it and taking a deep breath.

“Bro, knock it off. It’s in the bag.” I look back at him and try to calm my nerves. “For real, Tommy. She loves you.” He pats my back and adds, “She’s gonna make a good wife.”

I nod my head. She is. She’s gonna be my wife. And I’m going to give her our happily ever after that she deserves.

Anthony smiles at me. “That’s the Tommy I know. Go get yourself a wife.” He opens the door and I take a few steps out into the restaurant.

She's facing away from me in her seat. They sat her like that on purpose. Ava sees me first, and lights up. She grabs a drink menu and tries to distract Tonya. The ladies look up at me one by one, and try to not make it obvious.

Aunt Linda’s smile is so fucking big, though. She’s gonna give it away. She covers her face with her hand and pretends to cough. I get down on my knee behind her and look to my right to see the guys coming out. We’re all ready to surprise her with a baby shower. I knew I wanted to do this in front of everyone, and doing it here and now, it just felt right.

While the ladies distract her, the guys open up the back room doors where the party will be. I hear them all standing behind me. It’s go time. I know it is, but I can’t fucking move. My nerves are getting the best of me.

I shake out my hands with my eyes closed, and that’s when I hear her.

“Tommy?” Her voice is full of shock. I open my eyes with the ring box in my left hand, get down on one knee, and see her wide-eyed and covering her mouth. She's got her hands up like she’s saying a prayer.

“You’re such a bad girl. You were supposed to wait till I told you to turn around.” I smirk at her. Just seeing her excitement and the happiness in her eyes puts me at ease.

Her hands fly down and start flapping like she’s a little kid.

“Tonya Ann Kelly, marry me.” I hold up the box to show her the three carat, cushion cut diamond ring with side accents I've picked out for her. I went to three different stores, but the second I saw this one, it was all over. I knew I needed to put this one on her finger.

She flings herself at me and wraps her arms around me. I don’t wait for her to answer. I slip the ring on her finger, where it belongs. Everyone’s clapping and laughing. I can hear Aunt Linda crying, 'cause that’s what she does. But the best sound is coming from my bad girl’s lips. She’s got her head buried in my neck while she clings to me, “I love you so much Tommy. I love you.”

I pull back to look into her gorgeous eyes; they’re full of nothing but happiness. “I know you do, baby. I love you, too.”