I clench and unclench my hands to get rid of the numbness. It makes the cuts open, and it fucking hurts like hell. But I don’t give a shit. I’m glad it hurts.

“You alright, boss?” Johnny keeps fucking asking me the same damn question every hour. No. I’m not alright.

“I’m fine.” When I register what I’ve answered, I snort a laugh. That’s what she’d say.

I take a seat at the desk in the corner of the office. It’s on the opposite side of the room, across from the pool table. It’s a sleek-looking glass desk with steel trimmings. I don’t think I’ve ever sat here. My fingers tap along the glass top, waiting for our next drop.

It’s so fucking tedious. So damn boring. I don’t need to do this shit. I’ve got more money than I’d ever wanted, and nothing to spend it on. What the fuck did I even use to do sitting here?

“Boss?” I look up with a scowl, and then feel like a prick. It’s not his fault. But then again, I am a prick.

I take in a deep breath and manage to sound somewhat normal. “What?”

“Just wanted you to know you still have those requests.”

“What requests?” I ask.

“To sell out if you wanted to.” My forehead pinches in confusion. What the fuck is he talking about? He answers before I have to ask. “I know you said to stop bringing it up, but I just thought you might like to know.”

That’s when it clicks. Give my business over to those thugs? I’m always getting shit offers. They don’t want to pay the right amount to take my clients, and they’d ruin this shit anyway. They don’t know what they’re doing like I do. “Pass.” That’s an easy decision.

Johnny gives me a tight smile and nods. “Just thought maybe you’d rather do something else now.” He takes a seat on the sofa, staring at the field. A few players are out running gauntlets; fucking sucks to be them.

Do something else. Like what? Just run the books for my Pops? That’d be boring as hell. I never really wanted to do anything other than make a name for myself. Get laid, and get paid. That was my motto for the longest time. But now I don’t fucking want it anymore. I don’t want this. Maybe I will sell the business. Maybe she’d want me then.

I shake my head and rap my knuckles across the glass tabletop; no she won’t. It doesn’t change a damn thing about who I am. I know it, and she knows it.

But I’m the boss’ son. He tried to keep me out of the life, but I demanded my way in. You can’t leave the family. Sure as fuck not when you’re the boss’ son. My chest hurts just thinking that. I’ll never be the kind of man Becca deserves. I was born into the mob. There’s only one way out, and I’m not ready to die.

A knock at the door distracts me from my morbid thoughts. I sigh and click my phone on. Ten a.m. Too fucking early. This day needs to get going so I can get home. I’ll figure out a reason to be there when the time comes. I just don’t want to be here.

Johnny opens the door, and my pops' voice booms through the hall.

“Johnny!” I raise my eyes to watch, although I don’t lift my head. Pops pats him on the back and gives him a warm smile. But it’s off. He’s waiting to hear about Clara. I know he is. Something’s going on between the two of them. Not my business though. Not unless he hurts her. Then I’ll make it my business.

“Good to see you, boss.” Johnny makes eye contact and returns the smile. Ballsy. Johnny is most certainly ballsy. He’s been a friend of mine for years, and I sure as shit couldn’t do this business without him. But I don’t like that he’s sneaking around with my sister. And I sure as shit know that Pops doesn’t like it. He better give it up soon and put a ring on her finger.

“Hey Pops.” I lean back in my seat and then stand to greet him. “Didn’t know you were coming.”

We share a quick hug and I motion to the liquor, but he shakes his head.

He takes a casual seat on the sofa, and I relax in the spot next to him. He’s come here a few times, usually because we’re meeting up for a family event… or a family event. But I always know about it ahead of time.

“What’s going on, Pops?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re doing alright.” He looks me in the eyes, and I almost look away. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees and set my chin on my clasped hands. I take a moment to answer him. I don’t know what to tell him. I’m not okay.

I settle on what I hope is the truth. “I’ll be alright.”

“That was intense, Dom. Never seen you like that.” I gaze at the floor and take a deep breath in, followed by a long exhale.

“Yeah, well.” What’s he want me to say? My memory flashes back to a few nights ago, to my fists beating the piss out of them. They were tied down when I got there. Just like they tied her down. I saved the one with the dragon tattoo for last. I wanted to make sure he knew what was coming. I wanted him to watch the rest of them die. De Luca was second to last. No one gave a fuck that I took the lead.

I needed to. I had to. For her.

“Sean went to see her the other night. Rebecca.” Hearing her name brings me back to the present.

“It’s Becca. And I know.” His brows raise in surprise, and his lips turn down.

“She called you?” he asks.

“No, I went over there. Just to tell her she was safe.” My gut churns, and my heart freezes in my chest. I wanted to go up there and talk to her, to convince her to just give it a chance. But I’d be a fucking asshole to do that to her and Jax. They deserve better. So I stayed in my car. Thinking about what a prick I am for wanting her. “I saw him walk up, and I waited.”

“Well, what’d she tell you about it?” Pops leans into me.

I shake my head. “Nothing.” I swallow the lump in my throat and lick my lips before sitting back in my seat. “I didn’t talk to her.”

“Ah.” Pops looks to the left at Johnny and then sighs. “Well,” he turns back to me, “she didn’t give away anything. So she’s cleared. I told Jack to back off.”

“What the fuck is Jack saying now?” My blood heats, and anger stirs inside of me hearing that shit. Back off? He better fucking back off.

“Nothing, Dom.” Pops puts his hand on my shoulder. “He’s just paranoid as fuck. He’s happy now.”

I search his eyes and nod. “He better be fucking happy. She may never be mine to claim, but she’s off limits.”

“I don’t understand, Dom.” He lowers his voice and looks at me with a sad expression. “Is it 'cause she’s got a kid? He’s a good little guy, and he’s-”

I rear my head back to look at him. “That’s not it. That’s not it at all.”

“I don’t get it, Dom. What the hell’s a matter with you?” It’s been a while since my father has talked to me that way.

I chew on the inside of my lip not wanting to say it, but he asked. And he’s the boss. “She’s got to protect her son. She can’t be messing around with me.”

“I didn’t say anything about messing around, Dom. I saw the way you two looked at each other. What you did for her. I know what she means to you. And you’re just going to let her go?”

“I have to. She can’t live this kind of life.” I wave my hand in the air and sit back with a heavy weight on my chest. My hand runs down my face.

“Then give it up. If you think she’s worth it.”

“Give up the familia?” I can’t believe what he’s saying.

He purses his lips and sucks in a deep breath. “That’s not what I meant. Get outta this here. Lay low. Get a boring ass day job with your degree. Do what you gotta do.”

“Do what I gotta do?” I swallow hard. I don’t like subtleties. I’d rather be smacked hard in the face with a blunt answer.

“I can’t tell you any more than that, son. I will say Sunday dinner will always be at our house with the family.”

“What’s that have to do with anything?”

“Just make sure she knows that’s a condition. The only condition.” The only condition. I stare at my Pops for a moment.

He gives me a smile and rises, fixing his suit jacket. “Your ma liked her. That’s a huge victory there.”

“I don’t think it’s as easy as you think, Pops.” I stand up and give him a quick hug with a firm grip.

“If you want her to be yours, then you take her; what’s so hard about that?” He smirks at me and then turns his back and leaves.

I watch the door close shut. If only it could really be that easy.