“How’s she doing?” I hear Anthony ask. I turn on my barstool to look at him. He’s a lean fucker compared to me, not real bulky, but I’ve learned over the past few weeks that he’s not someone you wanna fuck with. If you’re doing shit you aren’t supposed to be doing, having Anthony knocking on your door at night is a bad fucking omen.

But I like him. When he’s not working, he’s sitting down and having a beer. He’s pretty chill. Everyone’s still on edge about Tommy though. As I think his name, he walks through the doors of the bar with Vince. We watch as they come up to our right and sit on Anthony’s side.

The bar goes quiet as they take a seat. Everyone’s waiting for something to happen with this case. But it’s gonna take time. There’s only so much postponing and bribing will get him.

“She’s alright.” I answer Anthony as Tommy orders a beer. It’s on the bar before he even finishes, along with Vince’s Jack.

“Ava?” Vince calls out, from the far end of our row. It’s a curved bar so I’ve got a good view of him.

“Yeah.” I don’t volunteer more info. I don’t want to talk about it. I watch my phone every time there’s an alert that she’s home. I know her appointments and work schedules, too. I feel like a fucking creep at this point. In the beginning I was worried about her. We all were. But the better she is, the less she seems to be thinking about me.

I keep waiting to hear her call out for me. I prayed that I’d have a reason to help her. But for over a week, it’s been nothing.

“I don’t like that manager fucker either. He likes to get around,” Vince says from across the bar. They think it’s funny. I lost my shit the other night and they keep holding it over my head.

I grit my teeth. If that bastard makes another pass at Ava, I’m gonna knock his fucking teeth out. She’s such a good girl though, she doesn’t even realize it.

The guys laugh when they see my reaction. But there’s no humor in it for me. I think it’s time I came to grips with reality.

She doesn’t want me. Why would she?

“I never should’ve touched her,” I bite out, and grab the neck of my beer. I take a swig and then another.

“I don’t think it’s like that, Kane,” Vince says. Tommy and Anthony nod their heads.

“I should’ve waited.” I put the bottle down feeling like a fucking failure. Like an asshole. She wasn’t okay, and I was so wrapped up in her that I didn’t even see it. I took advantage of her. I don’t deserve her.

That’s why I’m giving her the space she needs. She genuinely needs me to be gone to get through this. Fuck. It fucking kills me that seeing my face, feeling my hands on her, or hearing my voice would remind her of that hell. I took her pain away, or at least I thought I did. I wonder if I just made it worse. I fell for her too soon. I loved her when she couldn’t possibly love me. Not in a healthy way at least.

Every time I start to think she’s mine and I need to go get her, I have to remind myself that it’s too much like what they did to her. I need to wait until she’s better. And then she’ll come back to me. We’ll work through this together. I’m not giving up though. I know she felt something for me. I just have to wait until it’s the right time. I need some sort of sign.

“Stop pouting like a little bitch,” Tommy groans out. “Jesus, I’m the one getting 50 to life.”

I glare at him. I’m not a Valetti. I shouldn’t even be in this bar. But I’m gonna beat the fucking piss out of him if he keeps it up.

“Just go get her, Kane,” Tommy says.

“Her shrink says it’s alright, right?” Anthony asks. Shame washes over me, along with a little guilt. I may have bugged Ava’s purse. And I may have deliberately listened to her first few sessions. But I’ve been better about giving her space. I was just worried since I hadn’t seen her.

But she was fine. She just didn’t want me.

“The doc isn’t why she’s not seeing me.” I roll the empty bottle between my palms and nod when the bartender asks if I want another.

“You want her?” Vince asks.

I stare at him dead in the eyes. “Fuck yeah, I want her.”

“Go get her.”

“What if I’m the reason for that shit?” That’s what it all boils down to, really. If I’m the one triggering all her pain, how can I expect her to stay with me?

“What if you’re not?” he asks back. “What if you let her go, and you never find out?”

“Look at you,” Anthony says, elbowing Tommy as they snicker at Vince. “We've got a fucking romantic over here.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Vince spits back with a grin. “I’m just saying, I think she’d make a great addition to the family. Mostly ‘cause my wife likes her.”

“What do you mean ‘addition’?” I question him.

“You’re not a made man yet, Kane. It’s gonna take time to put in your dues.” He points his finger at me and raises his voice. “But you sure as fuck are a Valetti.” I hear a few guys let out a cheer and one asshole claps. Poor fucker, everyone looks at him, but he just picks up his beer and smiles.

“Thanks, Vince.” I push out the words. It means a lot to be a member of the Valettis and have a family around me again. But it’s all worth nothing if Ava won’t be a part of it with me.

“She will,” Anthony says, as if he read my mind. “Just go get her.”

He says it like it’s that easy. In the past it was. If I wanted something, I just went and got it.

But this is different. If she says no, then nothing else matters.