Jake

Things are stressed, tempers are flaring and I’m hanging on the edge of sanity. The more time I spend in the presence of my brother, my father, and their men, the darker I feel my soul growing.

Nate has once again disappeared, like he fell off the face of the earth. No one around me understands how that can happen without some type of a trace, but I know. He’d been taken from the home he shared with the strung-out girl and her grandparents and placed in protective custody. They all had no idea that the moment they became a part of his life their safety had been compromised too.

Acting surprised, pissed even that the house was empty when we showed up to retrieve my father’s prize was difficult at first. But I’ll admit it, my acting skills have really come a long way. I’m getting used to pretending to be as evil as them, learning to play dirty and not care. It’s almost natural now. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that my chances for happiness are gone. Blair is gone, Whitney is gone, and Sadie is so lost that she’s wasting away to nothing and refuses to give me even the slightest hint as to where they may be.

I sleep at the warehouse, but only so I can gather as much dirt against all of them as I can. Being trapped so close to them comes with a price. Whores, drugs, and more always surround me. Screams in the night of both pleasure and pain are the things that fill my head. I can sense the man I want to be slipping fast, the good inside me growing black with each passing day.

I lie in the darkness, staring up at the ceiling above, picturing Blair in my mind. She is the only piece of good I can hold onto. Though with each passing day it grows harder, her smile is my escape. The way she looked up at me through those long lashes of hers, trying to hide the flush of embarrassment she’d get often, her sweetness and that quiet nature she held haunt me, but in a good way. Somehow in my mind, I’ve convinced myself that maybe one day I’ll see her again and get another chance. But in reality, I know I’ve lost her; she’ll never look at me again and see the man I want to be for her. I will only remind her of sorrow and of that night when Gabe went to her.

The softness of a hand running over my thigh causes my eyes to flutter shut. I know it isn’t Blair, I’m not that far gone yet, but pretending seems to help. I remain still, allowing the girl to take me in her hand and slowly glide her fist up and down. I fight to get hard, forcing myself to believe this is my beautiful girl, the one I crave. I imagine we’re back in her apartment; though I know her touch and this isn’t even close, I force myself to believe.

Reaching out I grab the back of the girl’s head and guide her to my cock. A soft moan escapes her just before she takes me in her mouth. I need to keep her from talking; if she does, any hope of my release will be gone.

It is a dick move, really, but it is also what the girls are here for. They know it, and they thrive on it. Each stroke of her tongue, followed by the feeling of me hitting the back of her throat, pushes me closer to the end. Keeping a firm grip on her hair, ensuring she has no opportunity to say even a word, I continue to thrust my hips upward.

Blair’s eyes are all I can see. Though I know if it were her here with me, I wouldn’t be acting as I am now.

My thighs tighten, my stomach tenses, and I bury my cock in this girl’s mouth as the need to come hits me hard. With my chin tilted upward, my fist gripping her hair tight, “Blair…” falls from my lips in a whisper. Even through the pleasure of my release, I feel the ache of her absence hit me so fucking hard it leaves me feeling sickened by my choices.

The very second the reality of the situation hits me I feel dirty and disgusted with myself. Releasing my hold on the girl, I turn onto my side and run my hand over my face. When she reaches out to touch my hip and makes a pleased sound, I push her away.

“Get out,” I bark, hoping she doesn’t push for more. I need her gone; I need the last five minutes to be erased from my mind. Hell, I need it all gone.

I stand in line at the liquor store, playing the part I am directed to play. With a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a case of beer under the opposite arm, I stare straight ahead, showing no reaction to the man talking in a low tone behind me.

“Tonight’s the night,” Detective Farris says as he holds alcohol in his own hands, also waiting in the long line. We can’t take the risk of talking on the phone or me going into the station. Instead, we are nothing more than two men seeking out tonight's refreshments, or so it seems.

“We need you to go in as usual, just a party as normal. We’ve got the place wired, thanks to you, and we’ll arrive when we feel it’s our best chance to attack.”

I’ve been waiting for this for weeks. Six weeks and three days to be exact.

“It ends tonight, Jake.”

I nod as I step forward and place my items on the counter. I’ve grown fond of the men I’ve been working with over the past weeks; they are pretty badass, I can’t deny that. Even though they ride on the right side of the law, they aren’t afraid to get dirty if the situation calls for it. Tonight I know I’ll see them in true action and the adrenaline that courses through me makes my hands shake. It’s time for revenge, time to bring my family down, and I’m about to get a front row seat to the destruction.

I pass money to the clerk, retrieve my change, and gather my items, all while showing no sign of the conversation that has just taken place. I don’t even look back over my shoulder when I exit the liquor store. I can’t take that chance. I walk toward the SUV waiting at the curb and climb inside, looking over at Gabe. I have a vision of my fist connecting with his face as blood splatters me, and I smile at him. He, of course, takes it as some form of brotherly love and holds out his hand in some type of fist bump invite. I make sure to hit it with my own, a little harder than necessary, when I accept his gesture.

“Tonight we get fucked up and party,” he says while placing the vehicle in drive. “Tomorrow we crack heads and work on finding the sorry fuck that needs to bleed.” I turn away from him to hide my sneer and stare at the front of the liquor store I just exited. Just then the front door comes open and out walks Farris with his shades on. He offers me a simple nod just as we pull away from the curb.

I’m ready. In fact, I’m more than ready.

Within a few hours, the warehouse is swarming with men and women. I sit back, pretending to be a part of the party, nodding when I’m spoken to, laughing even though I don’t find any humor in their snide remarks or recaps of the horrid stories they all have to share.

My father sits on the opposite side of the room, a young girl at his side and a brunette on his lap. My mother knows of his extracurricular activities with these women, but she has always turned a blind eye. They’re both sick fucks and I wouldn’t put it past her that, in the past, she has taken part. My family is fucking warped, of that there is no doubt.

It’s just before midnight when I hear a ruckus taking place near the entryway of the warehouse. Suddenly the doors burst open and in rushes a swarm of agents, all carrying guns. Chaos is the only way to describe the scene as everyone scatters, trying to search for the nearest escape. But there isn’t any, because the FBI and S.W.A.T. teams are coming from every angle.

I look toward my father, noticing he hasn’t moved. Instead, he still sits on the couch, looking straight at me. Had I been a weaker man, I possibly would’ve feared the hate in his eyes. He knows, I’m sure of that now.

A shot rings out and I look to my left just in time to see Gabe ducking down a hallway that leads to the garage, the same garage that holds not one but six of the large vehicles my father keeps on hand. The idea of him getting away is something I can’t allow. After all, he is the one I want to see pay the most.

I search out the room and the minute I find Farris, I can see he registers my intentions. I ignore the shake of his head as he attempts to silently warn me. My legs are moving before I have the chance to think twice and I run down the long hallway after Gabe.

Reaching around to the back of my pants I pull out the gun I safely tucked there hours ago. My hands shake as I move it around to the front of me, but not from fear. This was one of the very few times I was thankful to be tied to the family I was tied to. I learned long ago, even before realizing what my family did, how to handle a firearm.

As I enter the garage my brother spins around to face me, and instantly looks relieved to see its only me.

“Come on.” He waves me on as he moves around the side of the black Escalade. I use his trust in me to my advantage and close the distance between us, still firmly gripping my gun in my hands.

Just as I step up behind him, I press the barrel of the gun to the back of his head and he freezes. I can visibly see his shoulders rise and fall as he takes one deep breath before slowly turning around to face me. I’m careful not to allow him the advantage to gain control of the situation. With the gun now pressed to the center of his forehead, his stare is locked with my own.

“Did you remove the safety, brother?” That cocky smug look of his returns as he watches me closely.

“Why don’t you make a move and find out?” I dare him to test me. All I need is one shift and I’ll claim self-defense. I want him to pay for what he’s done and prison, in my eyes, isn’t a harsh enough punishment for my brother.

He chuckles, but I can sense the nervousness in the sound and I find that to be satisfying. I want his fear, I crave it.

“I told you if you touched her I would kill you.” My nostrils flare when he smiles wider and has the nerve to lick his lips as if he is reliving the memory of the night he attacked Blair.

“Yet here I am, still breathing.” He lifts his hands up and holds them out to his sides as if to say Bring it on. “You always have been weak, Cyrus.”

At the mention of my given name, I hold the gun a little tighter against his head.

“I think you have that wrong, brother, you’re the weak one. Always willing to do everything he told you to whenever he demanded it. You’ve been his bitch your entire life, needing the approval of your daddy.” His smile falls from his lips and is suddenly replaced with a matching look of anger. “I never needed his encouragement. I’ve been a man on my own and I think you know that. You just couldn’t stand that I was strong enough to stand without him. I didn’t need him holding me up.”

“Fuck you.” Spittle flies from Gabe’s mouth in a moment of pure anger. “You don’t know anything.”

“I know that you crossed a fucking line when you went after Blair, a line that can never be mended.” My hands shake, and I want nothing more than to pull the trigger. I want to see his lifeless body crumble to the floor and lie in a pool of his own blood. Blood I’m responsible for shedding.

“Lower the gun, Jake.”

I don’t have to turn around to know it is Detective Farris who’s entered the room. I watch as Gabe looks past me.

“He’s already taken enough from you, they all have. Don’t give any of them the power to take anything more.”

“Pull the trigger, brother,” Gabe dares me. “You’re a Gunther, it doesn’t matter how hard you try to deny it. You’re dirty.” He pushes his head harder against the barrel of the gun. “Pull the fucking trigger, you coward.”

The urge to do just that hits me hard. But then in that last few seconds of clarity, I see her eyes staring up at me with nothing but hope. Hope that I am the man I portrayed myself to be, hope that I want her and need her as much as she does me.

I pause, but only for a second before I twist the gun and crack the butt of it against my brother’s skull. I watch with satisfaction as Gabe topples to the floor, a trickle of blood dripping from the contact point and rolling along his temple. It may not be the destruction I want to inflict on him, but it will have to be enough.

I refused to be the man he tried to convince me I was.