Rocky
It was the day after the bar incident and Daria and I were at the shop again, working side by side in companionable silence like we always did.
Today felt a little different though. I wasn’t sure if she was thinking on last night, or if she was just tired, but there was definitely something wrong.
She was distant. Answering questions but not really engaging. Worst of all, her usual radiant smile had dimmed somewhat. It didn’t reach her eyes anymore and somehow, I could tell it was mostly forced for my benefit. I had a feeling she would talk about it when she was ready so I kept to my bikes, hoping she would open up soon.
Every time I looked up I could feel her eyes on me, burning into me, before she quickly flicked them away. If it wasn’t for the fact that I barely wore a shirt when I was working on my bikes, then I would be starting to feel self-conscious.
After a few hours of this I was ready to break the silence and ask her what was wrong, but she beat me to it.
“Rocky.” She opened her mouth to speak but then seemed to think better of it and shut it again.
“Daria, I know something’s wrong. You’ve been acting strange all day. Was it what happened last night?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“I’m worried about you, Rocky,” she said in a rush.
“Me?” I said, confused. What did this have to do with me?
“Is revenge really all that important to you?”
I understood immediately where she was going with this and I could practically feel all my muscles growing solid and my face hardening.
“Yes. It is important, more than you’ll ever know.”
I wasn’t sure why she was bringing this up again. I thought she understood. The last time we’d gotten into it had resulted in a panic attack and I would do whatever it took to avoid another one.
Daria took a deep breath, seeming to come to a conclusion before she spoke next.
“You know, there’s a difference between avenging your father and just plain old revenge. I know I shouldn’t listen to talk but this time I couldn’t help it. You're going after them, aren’t you? The Nightmare MC? And that guy, Jason Steele?”
I didn’t answer, not able to meet her gaze. I couldn’t admit to something like that to someone as innocent as she was.
I knew it was hard for her to comprehend, especially considering she’d spent years around so much violence from her stepdad. I didn’t want to take her back to that. That was why I was hesitant to involve her in the first place. Everything about her screamed that she was better than me in every way. I didn’t want to bring her down to my level.
In saying that, she’d never understand that sometimes violence was necessary. Sometimes violence was the only way forward.
“What are you planning on doing, killing him? Why not get the police involved and they can—”
“The police won’t do anything!” I interrupted. This was the real difference between Daria and me. I was willing to get my hands dirty and do things my own way to get the results I wanted. I’d learned far too young that the cops often wouldn’t do anything when it came to certain members of society.
“Don’t you understand? Guys like my father don’t mean anything to them. To them, he was just a worthless biker, a gang member, trash. I need to do this. I’m the only one that will.”
“Rocky…” she said carefully, and I couldn’t help but think that I hated how everyone seemed to tiptoe around me. Why could nobody understand that Jason Steele had taken my father from me and he was never coming back. How could I live with myself if I didn’t go after him?
“I’m still worried about you,” she confessed. “What if something happens to you? What if you get hurt?”
Surprised by the change, I didn’t move as she came closer and placed a hand on my cheek.
“What would I do without you?” she whispered.
I could feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest. I knew she was just being a friend but I still had trouble suppressing the urge to slam my lips onto hers. The lines were being blurred more and more every day, and I wanted to blur them even further. Claim her, make her mine.
I pushed my desire away, which, surprisingly, took a considerable effort. “I’ll be fine, Daria. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“If I don’t then who will?”
I sighed and closed my eyes, tilting my head further into her hand and relishing in the contact. Yeah, I could really lose myself in her.
“I have the club at my back. And Cameron knows what he’s doing, he’s been around longer than anyone gives him credit for.”
Cameron had been involving himself more and more in my life the past few weeks, asking especially about Daria. He’d wanted to know if she’d started working for me and if there was more going on between us.
I immediately crushed that possibility when it came up with him. There was no way a girl like Daria should be stuck with a guy like me. Any anyway, I couldn’t afford a distraction that big.
Cameron had been trying to convince me for days that a distraction was what I needed right now, to get my mind off the time we had to wait before we could strike.
It was strange that my uncle was being so persistent but it was nice to know that he had my best interests at heart.
Daria leaned further into me, nestling her head into the crook of my neck. She was so close, I could hear her breathing, feel her chest move up and down against mine. I looked down to see her eyes were closed, as if it were a normal occurrence for her to be resting on me. She looked as if she could drift off to sleep at any moment, giving me a strange sense of satisfaction that I could make her feel so safe.
“Does this mean you’ll stop worrying about me?” I asked, trying to make her smile.
It worked somewhat, though the smile was weak.
“Never,” she said, a fierce undertone to her words. “Rocky, you have to promise you won’t get rid of me. I know what you’ll convince yourself of later on, but you have to tell me everything. I don’t want to wake up one morning to find that you're gone and know that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me your plans.”
Gazing into her eyes, I was struck by her concern for me. It had been a long time since someone had cared as much as she did.
“I promise.”
“Good,” she said, looking up at me, her face so very close to my own.
I clenched my jaw tight against the strong desire to bend forward, just a little, to kiss her sultry lips. Instead I pulled back from her embrace.
I’d been thinking on it a while, especially since my uncle had been so adamant about knowing her and how she fit into my life. If she was going to be involved with everything, if she was going to know everything, especially considering it was club business, then Cameron had to talk with her.
“I think it’s time that you meet with my uncle,” I announced.
“Are you sure?” She seemed hesitant. “Will he care that I know? Or do I know too much?”
I laughed away her concern. “It’ll be fine. He’s been asking about you anyway. If you're getting yourself involved, Cameron needs to know. He’ll be the one to protect you if anything happens.” And I knew he would. Cameron always kept his word and I knew that if I asked him to give Daria full club protection then he would.
She frowned at my words. “Will anything happen?”
“Precautions, Daria.” I tried to sound more convincing than I felt. The truth was, I had no idea if anything would happen or not. Even with all Cameron’s planning, things could still go south and it wouldn’t take a genius to know that anyone could get to me if they used Daria.
I should’ve considered that ages ago, the fact that I was infinitely more vulnerable ever since I’d met Daria, but I couldn’t find it within me to take it back. All I could hope for now was Cameron to know what he was doing. Thankfully, if there was one person I could count on in this world, it was him.