Star
The sun had already set behind the horizon long before. Darkness had settled in and, with the cloudy night, a blanket of shadows seemed to settle over the world outside.
Inside Tanner's childhood home, Star and Tanner's mother sat in front of the TV, watching some reality show that wasn't doing much to catch the younger woman's attention. It wasn't that she thought less of reality television, but the fear of what might be happening to Tanner was driving her up the wall.
And, top it all off, she was stuck in this box with his mother.
There wasn't anything wrong with Tova Rainier. Star just knew Tanner's mother didn't like her. The disdain was on her face, in her movements, in the way she looked at her when she thought Star wasn't paying any attention. There was always that attitude of “You're not good enough for my boy.”
And, now, with just the ticks of the clock on the wall to remind her of the passage of time, she waited. She waited for some sign of him. Waited for a message on her phone, or a call. Not that he'd ever been big on either of those in their short time . . . doing whatever they were doing.
But, all the while, she was stuck with a woman who didn't care much for her. Hell, she'd hardly said two sentences to Star since she'd gotten there. She'd just plopped down on the couch and turned the TV on like it was no big deal.
“It doesn't ever get easier,” Tova said after a while, startling Star from her thoughts.
“What?” Star asked, looking over at the older woman. Tova didn't even bother to return her attention, though. “What do you mean?”
“Waiting for them to come back from doing something big and manly for their club. Wasn't easy with Logan, their father, and definitely isn't any easier with Tanner.”
At least Tova was talking to her, even if it was with a dismissive edge to her voice that implied Star wasn't going to be around long enough to get accustomed to the wait. “Do you get used to it at least?” Star asked finally.
Tova just shook her head. “Nope. But, there's a reason why we love them.”
“What's that?” Star asked, genuinely curious to hear this old woman's insight on her son, and the men like him.
“Cause they're men, real ones. They're not some stock trader, or some guy selling insurance. Sure, they probably won't ever be rich, either. But, they'll respect you, and they'll take care of you when you need to be taken care of. They'll fight for what they want, inside the bar or out, when it comes to defending their honor, and they don't take ‘no’ for an answer. Plus, they're simple. You cook 'em food, they'll be happy. You screw their brains out, and they'll be more than just happy.” At the last part, she did turn and grace Star with her attention, but only for a knowing moment.
“Plus, they've got those sexy bikes of theirs,” Star added.
Tova turned and rewarded her with a slight, knowing smile for that one.
Finally, after what had seemed like years, a pickup truck pulled up to the house. As Star heard his voice from outside, she realized she hadn't been breathing freely since he'd left. It was like a weight was coming off her, relieving her and allowing all the anxieties to drift away on the wind.
She and Tova got up from the couch, as if by some unspoken agreement, and headed into the kitchen to wait for them.
The brothers came bustling in through the back door, Brendon malnourished and weak as a kitten, and Tanner looking exhausted. Star inhaled and exhaled, her chest loosening as she suddenly felt most of the tension leave the room. Attention was on Brendon, and away from her, thank God.
“Oh my,” Tova breathed, as she got up from the kitchen table and went to her baby boy.
“Hey mom,” Brendon slurred out, his voice sounding as dejected as his face looked.
Star took one look at the poor guy and knew, just knew, that Tova had her work cut out for her. This boy needed some serious detox time. A hot shower was going to be just the start.
Tova Rainier didn't say a word. She just went to wrap him up in her frail arms, despite his protests. “It's okay, honey,” she soothed. “We'll get you better.”
Tanner stood aside, letting them embrace.
Star tried to catch his eye, just so he could see that she cared that he was safe, but his attention was focused on Brendon and his mother. That was okay, though. Tonight was about the lost son returning home. He was family, and at least they had a hot shower to offer.
A tear ran down Brendon's cheek. “I'm sorry,” he groaned. “I'm so sorry.”
“It's okay,” Tova said again, smoothing down his mat of tangled hair. “We'll get you a shower, alright? Then get you to bed? Have you eaten?”
“Aw, Mom. I'm not hungry.”
She pulled back, her hands on his shoulders, and looked him in the eye. “Well, let's go get you cleaned up, then?”
Tanner stepped in and offered to help, but Tova just waved him off. “I've got it. Why don't you get Star home, and stop by in the morning?”
“Yeah,” Tanner said with a nod, “I can do that. Just let me know if you need anything, okay?”
“I will,” Tova assured him as she and Brendon went into the living room. “I think we'll be fine, though. And, Tanner?”
“Yeah, mom?”
“Thank you for bringing my boy home. Say thank you to Blade, too.”
He nodded. “I will.” Tanner, his face neutral, turned to Star. “You ready to go?”
Star nodded, noticing the way he kept his emotions in check. “Yeah, let me just grab my stuff.”
A few minutes later, they were out in the pickup truck the two men had arrived in, and headed back to Star's place. Star realized how strange this one small thing was, to be able to look to the side, and actually see his face while he was driving. She'd gotten used to being curled up around him, feeling the familiar vibration of the bike between her thighs, as he tore down the highway with her on the back.
“Think your mom knows what do with him?” she asked as they headed back to her place.
“What do you mean?”
“Kicking smack isn't exactly something you can do on instinct. He's gonna have to detox, and it can be pretty bad.”
“Yeah,” Tanner said, “I thought about it. But, I figured he'd be good for tonight, at least.”
She nodded, her thoughts going back to the times when her mother couldn't get her fix. “It probably won't get bad till tomorrow.”
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, with Star thinking about their future together. Or, rather, lack thereof. That kiss earlier in the day, when he'd left her at his mom's. There'd been true affection there, and she could still feel the burn of his touch on her lips.
She turned and looked out the window, watched the lights as they rushed by on the other side of the glass. All those people, all those little lives existing at the same time. Why did hers have to be like this? Why did her life have to be so fucked up and confusing?
A little while later, they pulled up at her place. Tanner reached down and grabbed her bag before she had a chance to, and hopped out of the truck with her overnight luggage in hand.
“I can get it,” Star said as she closed the passenger side door behind her.
“I know. I can too, though.”
Star smiled to herself as she walked ahead of them and unlocked the door. They both went inside and she flipped the lights on. Nothing had changed since he'd come to get her earlier in the day. Everything was all just as she'd left them.
Thank God.
“So,” she said as he dropped her bag on the couch, “is this what life with you would be like? Danger? Not knowing if you'll come home? If you'll come back?”
“Pretty much,” he said with a shrug and a wince. “Goes with the territory. Think you can handle it?”
“A life with you, huh? Does that mean you're offering one?” she asked, her eyes wandering over his body, and his skin tight shirt. She saw, then, where the bruise forming on his upper arm peaked out from beneath his shirt sleeve. She couldn't suppress her surprise in time. “You're hurt!”
“What?” he asked as she crossed the floor and began to peel his shirt off. “This? I've had worse.” He pushed away her hands from the sleeve of his shirt.
She clucked her tongue and looked up at him, sideways. “What happened?”
“Guy with a baseball bat,” he said nonchalantly.
“Shit, Tanner,” she whispered as she slapped his hands away and pulled his shirt up over his head. “Come on, let's see how bad you are.”
He winced as she took off his shirt. Giant purple-red blotches had spread on his left shoulder and arm, and a big one was starting to form on his ribs. They looked nasty, but nothing seemed to be broken.
She didn't even think. She just leaned in and kissed his shoulder.