Pistol didn’t want to let on how much he was hurting, but holy shit. Every step was agony. Several times during the ride, he’d come close to letting go, to giving into the blackness that swarmed the sides of his vision. But he’d held on becauseshewas holding on. Because this brave-as-fuck woman had climbed onto a motorcycle and gotten them through a high-speed chase withguns. Because she wasn’t giving up yet, even though they were between a rock and hard place, for sure.
They reached the base of the plateau, and she eased him onto the ground.
He grinned up at her. She knelt close enough that her body was nearly touching his, and shivers of desire went through him.
“You ride hard, darlin’,” he said softly.
She smiled back. “I’ve picked up a thing or two, living around you.”
His smile faded but didn’t disappear completely.Damn, what a woman. Knew it from the moment I saw her.
“You gonna say I told you so?” he asked, thinking about how she’d begged him not to go to the border last night.
She shrugged. “I’m not that petty. Though…”
“Go on. Say it.”
“Jax.” Her expression was serious. “I don’t want to joke about this right now.” She placed chilly fingers against his forehead, as though checking to see whether he had a fever.
“Sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. He’d gotten them into a hell of a mess.Sorry seemed a little inadequate.
But if I’d refused to go, Smith would’ve had me killed anyway. Sooner or later, the shit would’ve hit the fan.
His gut clenched guiltily.Maybe I shouldn’t have gone home. Maybe, if I’d disappeared out here on my own, Smith would have sent his men searching for me and left her alone. Now she’s stuck in this too.
But when he’d gotten back to town after the bloodbath in the desert, the only place he’d been able to think to go was home.
Home. It wasn’t his home. But it was whereshe was. And that made it a kind of refuge — the place he was drawn too even as his mind grew increasingly foggy, his vision increasingly black.
She pulled out her phone. Wiped the screen with her sleeve and swiped to unlock. “No service out here.”
He tried to prop himself up on the elbow of his good arm. “Did you really think there would be?”
She shot him a dirty look that played just fine even in the near-darkness, but she seemed amused too. “It was worth a try.” The blue glow of her screen was eerie out here in the middle of nowhere.
“Know what I think?”
“Do I want to know?”
“I think you liked that, back there. Not the almost-getting-killed part, but the speed, the chase…”
“No comment.” She slipped her phone back in her pocket.
Pistol shifted. “Actually, some of the hills out here have service. But I’m not really in the best shape for climbing right now.” He grunted in pain as he shifted again, trying to get comfortable. “Besides, who’re we gonna call?”
“I don’t know. I guess it depends on what we’re going to do.”
“Camp out here until I come up with a genius plan.”
“I see,” she said drily.
He closed his eyes for a few seconds. Damn his fucking shoulder.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Oh, just peachy.” He let out a long breath. Winced, his head tipping back. God, that ride really had taken it out of him. “There’s … stuff … in the saddlebags,” he panted. “’mergency kit. Some food, water. Blanket. First aid.”
“I’ll go bring the bike over.”
As she walked away, he took the opportunity to study their surroundings as best he could. He spotted something.
She walked the bike over to where he rested. They were far enough from the road that they were unlikely to be spotted even when the sun came up, but he nodded approvingly as she hid the bike behind a nearby boulder anyway.
“Look,” Pistol said as she approached him with the saddlebag slung over her shoulder. He pointed.
She squinted through the moonlight. “Oh. Well isn’t this our lucky night?”
There was a small cave in the rocks several yards away. “We can camp there,” he said.
She turned to him. “What if … I mean, are there … predators?”
He chuckled. “Well, never say never. But no, I think if there were coyotes or mountain lions hanging out in there, we’d smell them.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. A puma would’ve bolted by now, and coyotes would be howling up a storm. I’d say we’re safe.”
“All right,” she said skeptically. “I’m gonna trust you.”
He gazed at her, wishing he could put what he was feeling into words. Wished he could tell her how close to impossible it had been to turn his back on her when she’d begged him not to leave that night. How jumbled things had become in his brain — the memory of his mother begging him to stay with her, making him promise. The knowledge that sooner or later, he hurt the people he loved.
Wished he could tell her about the faces of his dead brothers. How it cut through him like a white hot blade, the image of Deion falling. Of Mica using his last moments to help Pistol escape. How it chewed on him, to know that they were dead because of him. Because he should have recognized sooner that they were sitting in a trap. Because he never should have gone along with any of this in the first place.
Every relationship had power dynamics that were established within the first few minutes of an introduction. The question was always, were you gonna be the dog that put its paw on the other’s throat? Or the dog that rolled over and wiggled and pissed itself? He ought to have stood on Leonard Smith’s throat the first moment they met. Let someone take advantage of you once, and they’d do it again and again. Same with his mother. Why, when she’d begged him to stay, had he rolled over and pissed rather than showing his teeth?
And yet, as he grew older, it got more and more difficult to want to fight. Fighting was exhausting. It was such a surface-level interaction to have with somebody. He craved something deeper. A relationship that wasn’t about struggling for the upper hand, that wasn’t about taking advantage or exploiting weakness. A chance to know somebody, trust somebody. Be equals.
That was what scared him so much about Katrin. He wasn’t looking for a way to be right, with her. He wasn’t looking to be in control. He simply wanted to be around her, to feel her warmth, her gentleness. The hope she carried with her despite the awful things she’d faced.
But how the fuck could he tell her any of that?
“It really was amazing, what you did,” he said softly. “Never seen anyone ride like that.”
She knelt beside him. “Oh, please. That kind of stuff’s probably just a typical Tuesday night for you and your brothers.”
He ignored the stab of sadness at the phrase “your brothers.” “Still. You’re a natural.”
“Well. I’m just glad we’re both alive. For now.” She hesitated, then leaned forward and pecked him on the lips. And damn if he didn’t start getting hard. Adrenaline rush plus smokin’ hot woman? One boner, coming up.
“Mmm,” he murmured. He tried to shift closer, lifting his hips.
“Down boy.” She patted his knee gently, then grinned, her teeth flashing in the moonlight. “I’m gonna go get our new home set up.”