Tanner
“How you holding up, big guy?” Tanner asked his pale, sweating brother. “You handling it okay?”
Brendon nodded. “Aches and sweats. But, I'm kicking it, you know.”
He looked better than he had a couple days before, when Tanner and the guys had dragged him out of that crappy apartment, but he still hadn't come all the way back. But, undeniably, there was progress. He was still in bed, wrapped up in a heavy quilt and comforter against the perceived chill.
The room, though, was sweltering to Tanner, who was seated in a chair he'd dragged in from the kitchen. “Where's mom?” Brendon asked as he reached for a glass of water on his old childhood nightstand.
“Out getting groceries and stuff. Should be home soon, I think.”
“So, she sent you here to watch me?” Brendon asked as he brought the glass to his cracked lips.
“No,” Tanner said, grinning. “I ditched Star to come here, actually. Just wanted to see you, that's all. Probably see a lot of me this week.”
“Star? The girl from the alley?”
Tanner nodded. “Yeah.”
“She's hot, dude.”
Tanner gave a little smile. “Yeah, yeah she is.”
“What the fuck's she doing with a guy like you?” Brendon asked.
He laughed. “Uh, it's complicated.”
“Lemme guess,” Brendon said with a wry smile, “you're paying her.” He laughed when he saw the look on Tanner's face.
Tanner couldn't help but laugh with him. He couldn't really do anything else. He couldn't just outright lie to his brother. But, also, he couldn't just tell him the truth. Telling him the truth would be . . . awkward. So, the best solution was to just join him, and let the question drift off and die on its own.
“It's good to see you back,” Tanner said, changing the subject.
“Don't lie, man. I've seen myself in a mirror already.”
“You think about it still?”
“Every second of every day, so far,” Brendon said, then gave a dry cough. “This is just fucking miserable, you know? Like, out there, living on the street, scraping to get by. At least I had smack to make me feel good. Here, I'm in a dry bed, with a roof over my head, but I know that I'm not going to feel that anymore.”
Tanner pressed his lips together into a thin line. “Still got your bike in storage somewhere?”
Brendon shook his head. “Had to sell it a couple years back. Willow racked up some payday loan debt, and I needed to help her out to keep the car.”
“Fucking bitch,” Tanner said, shaking his head. “Convinced you to sell your fucking bike?”
“Yeah,” his brother said and got a distant look on his face. “I still can't believe I was with that bitch for so long. But, you know, look it where it got me, right?”
Tanner shook his head again. “You'll get back up. Blood Warriors will see to it. Soon as you detox a little, we'll get you out on a bike, too.”
“Think they'll take me back?”
“Not patched or anything. But, you're family. All the guys are pulling for you. I mean, Blade is one of the guys who came out to get you.”
“I've just let them all down, Tanner. I feel like a piece of shit.”
Tanner shrugged. “Yeah, you turned your back on them.” He leaned forward, looked his brother straight in the eyes. “But, you know what?”
“What?”
“Oil's thicker than blood, brother.”
“Yeah. I remember.” Brendon smiled a tight little smile, his lips pressed so hard together they nearly turned white. “I don't deserve it, though.”
“That's why you rejoin as a pledge, man. Work your way back, same as you did before. They'll be happy to have you.”
Both brothers heard Tova pull up out front. Tanner went to stand up. “I'm gonna help Mom grab the groceries. I hate watching her lift all that shit.”
“You want some help?”
“Nah, I got it. Stay in here, rest up, man.”
As Tanner turned to leave, Brendon rolled over on his side and pulled the blanket up to his chin.
“Hey Tanner?”
“Yeah, bro?”
“I didn't say it earlier . . . but, thank you. It's good to be home.”
“I know, man.”
Tanner stepped out into the hallway and closed the door behind him.
The back door that led off the kitchen opened. “Tanner? Help me with the groceries, honey?”
“Be right there, Mom,” he said as he headed into the kitchen. He went past her and headed out to her old sedan to start grabbing the groceries. He brought in the paper grocery sacks two at a time, all six of them.
“You feeding a damn army, Mom?” he asked when he came back inside for the last time.
“What?” Tova asked with a laugh as she continued to put up the groceries he'd brought in. “Of course not. But, I figured you'd be here more often, at least while your brother's resting up and getting better.”
He went to help her put up the groceries, but she fussed him away. “I've got it. I'm not elderly.”
She was right, too. She had a certain vibrancy to her that hadn't been there in years. Now, with Brendon back under her roof, she seemed to have a new lease on life. Even her frailty seemed lessened. Sure, she still needed medical help, but her sickness wasn't as painfully obvious as the week before.
“You been talking to Brendon?” she asked as Tanner sat down at the small kitchen table and began to watch her work.
“Yeah, just seeing how he's doing. Not pressing too much on anything, not yet.”
“And?”
Tanner shrugged. “He's sobering up and getting over an addiction. But, he's a Rainier, after all. He'll power through it.”
Tova grunted. “I just wish he hadn't powered through and picked up the damn thing to begin with.”
“Well, we all make mistakes.”
“Oh, I know, Tanner. But, did he really have to make one this serious?”
“I guess not. But, it's what we've got to deal with, Mom.”
“God, if your father had been here, he would've tanned that boy's hide.”
Tanner shook his head and began to draw out the Blood Warriors emblem on the table top with his finger. “Or, he wouldn't have told me to go get him.”
“Don't say that,” she replied. “He loved you boys, you know that.”
“He had a funny fucking way of showing it, then,” he said.
“Still sore about this whole trust thing?”
He snorted. “The old man was an asshole. It's something I came to terms with a long time ago.”
“Still your father, though.”
“I know. But, Goddamn, if I ever have a son, I don't want to be anything like him.”
She laughed. “Yeah? What would you do different? Kiss his boo-boos for him when he falls off his bike? Not get upset with them over dismantling your bike in the middle of the night, then not knowing how to put it back together.”
He laughed. He'd forgotten about that one. Man, their dad had given him and Brendon a whooping on that one. “We deserved that one,” he admitted.
“Well, whatever the man's faults, he raised two strong, capable boys, didn't he? Sure, one fell off the beaten path and got lost along the way. But who doesn't every now and then? He's back now, and that's what’s important.”
Tanner nodded, content to not carry the conversation any further, and to let his mom just work in peace.
Finally, the groceries put away, she came and sat down at the kitchen table with him. “Now, speaking of baby boys,” she said as she pulled out her chair and took a seat. “How's that Star Bentley of yours doing?”
He didn't want to explain everything to her, not yet. Maybe not ever. He looked away and stared at the wall. “She's alright, I guess. Saw her last night.”
“Any closer on having that baby you're trying for?” she asked, trying to be as nonchalant about the question as possible.
He frowned and shook his head. “Mom, I don't want to talk about this.”
“What else are we going to talk about, then? You, me, and Brendon are in this house for the next week, Tanner.”
“Well, first of all, it's not any of your business.”
“You think a grandbaby isn't any of my business?” she asked with a laugh. “That doesn't make any sense.”
“Drop it, Mom. Or I'm just going to get up and walk away.”
She waved him off. “Fine, fine. I didn't really want to hear about any of your personal life's details, anyways. Just want you to be careful, and all. She's little Ms. Hoity-Toity, that one. I just got one son back, I don't want another dragged away.”
“Believe me,” Tanner said as he reached out and patted her frail, bird-like hand, “that's not going to happen. My family is you guys and the Blood Warriors. I'm with you till the end.”
“Oh, don't talk about the end,” she said with a grim smile. “I'm already close, and I don't want to think about it.”