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GIVE IN: God's Hellfire MC by Naomi West (133)


 

Rocky

 

I sat reclined in my Mustang, feet on the dashboard, ankles crossed and hands behind my head. It had been a long night. My eyes were longing to droop shut and join Daria beside me, but I wouldn’t give in to the temptation. Now was not the time to give up.

 

Daria had fallen asleep a couple of hours ago, just as the clock had flashed midnight. I envied her light snores and her dreamless sleep. She looked untroubled and rested, something that I wished every day for.

 

We were staking out the Nightmare clubhouse, and true to her word, Daria had been coming with me to every stakeout I’d done over the past few weeks. A stakeout was easy, if you knew how to do it. Boring but easy. It was a careful balance of keeping hidden yet close enough to see what was going on. If I was too far away, then the many hours we’d spend here would be practically useless. There could be a murder happening right under our noses and we’d never know about it. On the other hand, if we were too close then we’d get busted, and my oath to protect Daria would be broken. Who knew what they’d do if they caught us?

 

These past few weeks had passed slowly. I was greatly disappointed to find that Jason Steele did very little of interest. It was hard to monitor someone that didn’t go anywhere or do anything. He had a security detail that followed him around, though they’d yet to pick up on our presence. They were with him most of the time but occasionally they’d wander off somewhere. Daria and I had tried to trail them once but to no avail.

 

Steele spent most of his time at the club anyway, sometimes heading out to make deals or visit people. The only other thing of interest was when members of other clubs came by his clubhouse but again we had little knowledge of what went on inside the building. It wasn’t really our job to know but it would sure as hell make things a little more interesting.

 

Daria had asked a few days earlier if Steele had any family, and I’d told her that he didn’t. That was kind of a lie though. The club was his family. They’d stand by him through anything, even the murder of an innocent. I couldn’t say the same for every family but in some ways a club was better. Unwavering support no matter what and a complete lack of judgment.

 

I frowned at the thought. Our club was a little different. We were mostly isolated in Satan’s Wings but we’d come together when necessary. Everyone had lives to live and things to do. It just wasn’t possible to all be on the same page at the same time. Members had kids, day jobs and grandmas living down the road. The Nightmares were different.

 

But in answer to Daria’s question, I’d said his whole like was the club, which was entirely true. Jason Steele lived and breathed club life, always had. When I thought about how many years he’d been running the Nightmares and how long he’d been president, I began to have second thoughts about our stakeouts. Especially since we’d uncovered nothing of interest in the weeks we’d been at it. It was like he knew that he was being watched and kept his movement to a minimum as a result.

 

Was he just being careful? Paranoid? Or did he know we were here and was just trying to indulge us, like an adult with a child, or someone that knew he’d won either way. The thought made my blood boil.

 

Daria was equally as disappointed about the uninteresting sleuthing we were doing, though she was more vocal about it.

 

“Are you sure this is the right guy?” Daria had asked me earlier.

 

“More than sure.”

 

“‘Cause he really isn’t doing anything at all.”

 

“Do you really think I’d get it wrong?”

 

Daria had let out an innocent giggle. “That’d be pretty funny.” I had to smile at that. Only Daria could distract me from the firing hatred within me.

 

“I told you this would be boring.” And I had. She’d seemed intent on coming anyway. I knew even despite my warnings that some part of Daria had hoped, or even expected, that things would be infinitely more exciting. In a way, I had too. Or at least I’d expected something … more. At least I had some company, even if she did fall asleep half the time.

 

The truth was, I was more than glad she’d come along, and not entirely because she could make me laugh like no one else. It was a little darker than that. It didn’t happen every time but some days when it was really quiet, at two, three in the morning when Daria was fast asleep, I’d look at the clubhouse and wonder what exactly was stopping me from walking right in there and putting a bullet in Steele’s head. I could do it as well. I knew I could. Whether I would or should was a different matter altogether.

 

In those moments, I would usually look over at Daria and see her smiling face or her sleeping form, feeling completely safe in my presence, and instantly change my mind. It wasn’t even a conscious decision a lot of the time, but my vengefulness would just drain out of me.

 

Even though I’d told Daria time and time again that I wanted Steele dead, the moment I became a killer I knew she would never look at me the same. Sure, she would still be around, maybe she would smile at me the same way, laugh with me just as much, but inside she would hate me for giving in.

 

It would happen eventually though. I wouldn’t be able to give up my desire for revenge for anyone, even Daria. But for now, I’d enjoy her soft smiles and sweet laughs.

 

At that moment, Daria stirred in her sleep and mumbled something incoherent. After a second of snuggling back into the barely comfortable leather chair she sat bolt upright and started looking around frantically.

 

“I’m up, I’m up,” she said, rubbing her eyes and blinking until she deemed herself looking awake enough.

 

“You don’t actually have to stay up all night.”

 

I knew she was exhausted from spending days at the shop and nights with me. The truth was, I was tired too.

 

“Yes, I do. I said I would and I will. Besides, I wasn’t sleeping. I just closed my eyes for a bit.”

 

I suppressed a smile as she looked at the time displayed on the dash clock.

 

“How long was I out?”

 

“About three hours,” I said and almost laughed at the way she deflated entirely.

 

“Sorry,” she said with such remorse I couldn’t contain the bark of laughter that burst out of me.

 

“It’s fine. Go back to sleep. I doubt anyone’s going anywhere at this time.”

 

Or at any other time. We hadn’t moved since before she’d fallen asleep. Almost six hours of stillness.

 

“I don’t want you to be bored,” she pouted.

 

I snorted. “Luckily for me, your snores are entertaining enough that I could never be bored.”

 

“Hey!” she grumbled, smacking me lightly on the arm.

 

Just that light touch was enough to send sparks coursing through me.

 

What was wrong with me?

 

All this time spent alone with Daria was getting to my head. I spent all my time with her, and when we were apart, I spent all my time thinking about her. It wasn’t even the fact that she was so beautiful I couldn’t take my eyes off her, though there was that too. Especially since I’d seen her naked. I couldn’t lie and say she hadn’t starred in a fantasy of mine, or two.

 

But it was much more than that. It was the fact that we never had to force conversation to keep it flowing and we were silent when we didn’t want to talk. It was the way we seemed to read each other’s minds and communicate without talking, with just a raised eyebrow or a nod of the head. It was the way she would pretend to have just ‘closed her eyes for a bit’ because she didn’t want to admit defeat. It was the fact that she came out with me, night after night, to sit for hours in a car, bored out of her mind even though she tried to deny it.

 

Speaking of cars, Daria had been so furious when she’d found out that I’d even had a car. I had to admit that maybe I’d slightly misled her when she asked me if I’d owned a car, but I had to get her on the bike somehow. She didn’t hesitate to bring it up either, something that I wouldn’t be forgetting for long while.

 

“What do you mean, get in the car?” she screeched.

 

“Exactly that. I didn’t realize it was so difficult to understand.”

 

“Shut up, smart ass. You told me that you didn’t even have a car! You said that because you owned a bike store that you wouldn’t have a car.”

 

“I never said that. You just assumed.” I was trying to be calm and gentle but that just set her off again.

 

“It was implied!”

 

She was getting so worked up that it was starting to get adorable. If I was able to record the conversation and prove how ridiculous it was then, I would have.

 

“Are you trying to tell me that you made me ride that death trap when you had a car all along?”

 

At that I had to snort. Not only was that exactly what I’d done, but she had no right to any anger. She loved the bike, probably as much as I did, and we both knew it.

 

“Please,” I said. “You love that bike more than I do. I can practically hear you begging that I take you out for a ride more often.”

 

Daria had huffed and looked away and I knew that I’d won.

 

“Get in the car, Daria. Or you don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

 

With another huff, Daria had slid into the car and slammed the door behind her, mumbling under her breath the entire trip.

 

I smiled fondly at the memory. She really did get worked up too easily. Although, even that somehow made me like her more. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this way about a woman. In fact, I didn’t think I’d ever felt this way about a woman before.

 

“What are you thinking about so hard over there?” Daria asked, partially interrupting my thoughts.

 

“Nothing,” I turned to her and tried to look like I wasn’t just thinking about her.

 

“You're getting tired, aren’t you? I knew it! You just want me to sleep so you can too.”

 

Before I knew it, she’d made me laugh yet again. If I could explain what exactly it was that drew me to her, then maybe I would be able to stay away. As it was, I had no idea. How was she able to captivate every part of me without fail? It was like magic the way she was able to call to me.

 

“Nice try,” I said, shrugging off my thoughts. “Actually, I think we’re done for the night. Let’s get outta here.”

 

“Are you serious?” she gasped.

 

And just like that it was immediately worth it. A couple more hours of our stakeout, most likely sitting there doing the exact same thing wasn’t worth missing out on Daria’s almost palpable joy at the prospect of going home.

 

“Yeah, I’m serious. We’re done for the day.”

 

Daria threw herself into my side and granted me a quick hug. Unfortunately, she pulled back before I was completely satisfied, but then again would I ever be?

 

“Thank you, thank you!” she chanted as she let go of me.

 

Yes, it was definitely worth it.

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