Tanner
The next day, Tanner stood in Brendon's old room, looking at the posters that Mom and Pops had left up when he'd moved away. All of his brother's childhood was contained in these four walls. Old toys, old clothes. They hadn't thrown anything away.
Thoughts of Star's warm body pushed against his, thoughts of how she'd felt as they clung together in the hotel bed, swam through his brain. He couldn't keep his mind off her, off the way she smelled, the way she tasted. This whole infatuation was a mind-fuck to him, especially when he knew he needed to stay focused on the immediate problems at hand. Brendon, and the Roaming Wolves who had gotten him hooked on drugs for whatever reason, needed to be dealt with.
But, every time he spent more than five minutes trying to sort those problems out, Star's naked body seemed to appear and throw off his whole train of thought, derail him till he could barely think straight.
“Blade called,” his mom said from the open bedroom door. “Said you'd found something about Brendon, but you wanted to be the one to tell me.”
Tanner didn't turn around. He didn't think he could. As much as the thought of his brother as a junkie made him sick, the thought of how his mother was going to react was even worse. But, like Blade had said, she deserved to know. She was Brendon's mom, after all.
“So, you gonna spit it out?” Tova asked. “Or do I need to call Blade back and tell him you're scared?”
“You better sit down, Mom,” Tanner said with a sigh. He turned and sat down on the little twin-sized bed that Brendon had slept in all through high school.
“How bad is it?” she asked as he patted a spot on the bed beside him.
“Well, it's not good, that's for sure.”
She harrumphed and came over to take the offered spot next to him. “Spit it out, Tanner. Ain't got all night.”
“Your stories coming on, or something?” Tanner jibed.
“Quit changing the subject, hon. Just tell me what's going on.”
“Okay,” Tanner said, taking a deep breath. He figured he should start from the beginning. When, not if, they brought Brendon home, she'd find out anyways. It was better to be up front and help her deal with it. “Brendon got caught up with some bad folks, mom.”
“He always did run with a shit crowd. Aside from you boys, of course.”
Brendon smiled a little. “Yeah, he did, didn't he?”
“First those friends of his. Then that Willow girl that he ran off with,” she said, pausing for a moment to pat his hand. “But, you go on.”
“Right. Brendon, he got into some bad stuff,” he said before pausing to lick his lips. “Heroin, I think.”
Tova sucked in a sharp breath, her shoulders slumping. “Goddamn that boy.”
“Blade and I, though, we got a plan, alright?”
“Do you think it'll work?”
He nodded. “I think so. But, it's going to take us all to get him clean again. It's not exactly cut and dry.”
“I know, honey. I've seen it. Dammit, I thought making him watch that Leonardo DiCaprio film would have scared him straight. What was it called?”
“The Basketball Diaries?”
“Yeah, that one.”
Suddenly, the realness of this, the despair in the whole situation settled on him. But, he had to be strong. That was what men were: strong. They don't back down, and they don't let anyone fuck with them, or theirs.
“Well, what can you do?” he asked as he put an arm around her fragile shoulders and squeezed her tight as he dared. “It was his choice, Mom.”
“I know, hon,” she said, defeat flooding her voice. “If things had been different, you know?” She reached up and idly wiped a tear from her eye.
He squeezed her upper arm. “It'll be okay. You'll see. He just needs us, and needs the MC. We'll get him out of it.”
She patted his hand. “I know, hon. I know. But, it's just nerve-wracking knowing my baby is out there on the streets.”
He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. He realized then that he hadn't been this close to her in months, not since Pops had died.
“Let's change the subject,” Tova said, a wicked smile creeping into her voice.
“Uh . . .”
“How's that new girl of yours? Star?” she asked, knowing it would make him squirm.
“How did you . . .?”
“Who do you think?”
He gritted his teeth. “Blade.”
“Bingo.”
“She's not my girl,” he said. “She's just, well, it's complicated.”
“Complicated, how?”
“I really don't want to talk about it, Mom. Really.”
“Well, you won't talk to Blade about it, either. So that just leaves me, your poor old mother.”
He sighed. He didn't want to lie to her. But, he also didn't want her to know the whole truth. Finding out your oldest son was paying a woman to fuck him and have his child wasn't exactly a great followup to finding out your youngest son was a junkie living on the streets.
“Fine,” he said, knowing he wouldn't be able to put her off. “She and I are trying to have a baby together.”
“What?” his mom gasped and pulled away to look him in the eye. “You hardly even know this woman.”
“I know, Mom,” he said. “I just, well, it's what we've decided to do.”
“Oh, honey. Is this so you can get into the trust? I don't want you doing this if that's the reason.”
Was the money the reason? He mentally shook his head. Of course it was the reason. Sure, the sex was great. But, his thoughts on Star hadn't changed, even as she'd helped him find Brendon. He still wanted his freedom. He still wanted the Blood Warrior Motorcycle Club to be his primary focus. They were his family, his brothers. They were his focus in life.
His mother peered into his eyes. “Yeah,” she drawled, “I've seen that look.”
“What look?”
His mom patted his hand again. “Just be careful, hon. Okay?”
He shook his head as she got up from Brendon's old bed and went to leave. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“What is what supposed to mean, hon?” she asked, smiling that little smile of hers as she turned back to him. It was the mischievous “I know something you don't know” smile.
Tanner grumbled and shook his head. “Nothing. Never mind. Just, I'll let you know about everything, about Brendon and how it plays out. Okay? You go get some rest. I'll let myself out.”
Tova nodded again and left him alone in Brendon's room.
She'd taken it better than he'd thought she would. At the very least, he hadn't had to call an ambulance for her because of a stroke or cardiac arrest.
Tanner groaned to himself. What had his mom meant by those last few comments? What did she see that he couldn't?