Star
“It's time,” Tanner said, holding up a plastic bag from the drugstore. He stood in the doorway to her apartment, leaning again the frame.
A week or so had passed since they'd last seen each other and, now that Brendon was well into recovery, Tanner finally had an opportunity to see her. And, damned if he didn't look good. Sure, he was a little tired looking, but she felt like she was on fire as soon as she saw him framed in her doorway.
The memory of his touch, of the way he'd felt inside her, of how his strong arms held her close and pressed her body to his. All her wants and needs came back in an almost-tactile rush.
“Time for what?” she asked as she stepped out of the way and ushered him inside.
“The test,” he said as he stepped past. “I went by and picked up one. I figured, we've been at this baby-making thing long enough, we might be able to see how we're doing. Not that I'm expecting you to be pregnant, or anything. But, we can at least check.”
“It's not even time for my period, yet,” Star said, taking the offered bag from him. She dug into the parcel and pulled out the box. “But, sure, why not? I haven't peed on a stick all week.”
Tanner chuckled.
“You wanna, like, wait out here while I go to the bathroom?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he replied and took a seat on her couch.
She took the box and the bag with her into the bathroom. She didn't real have to pee, but she'd had enough coffee that morning to go if she had to. She closed the door behind her and pulled down her pants and underwear. She sat down on the toilet and began to unbox the test and read the instructions.
She set the box aside and pulled off the cap and sat there, waiting.
As she did, though, her mind began to race. What if she actually was pregnant already? What did that mean? She might have a small life growing inside her. A small life that was owed to the rough biker guy sitting on her living room couch, just outside her bathroom door. Of course, there was the money, too. Five hundred grand to start a new life, for her and the baby.
But is that what she wanted? A new life, far from here? What about Tanner, then? What about the father of her child? The relationship, if she could even call it that, would be over between them. No more mind-bending sex, no one to hold her tight at night, no strong hands running over her body.
She found herself not wanting to be pregnant. Not yet, at least. If she was, all this might be over. She would have held up her end of the bargain, and he could start to take care of her as just another financial burden. Where would she be, then?
She shook her head as she felt the urge to pee coming. Five seconds, the box said. No more than five seconds in the stream. Got it. She dipped the tip in, counting Mississippis in her head. She pulled the stick out after five, held it tip down as she took care of everything.
Tanner was waiting for her in the hallway. “Well?” he asked as she came out.
“I haven't looked,” she said. “I thought we should, you know, together.”
He smiled a tight smile, one Star couldn't discern the meaning of, as he joined her in her small bathroom.
Star sucked in a breath as she held the stick up to the light.
“Does that . . .?” Tanner asked.
She nodded.
There was a blue cross, a positive symbol, on the indicator. Just like she'd feared.
“Well,” she said with a sigh, “there you go. You've got your baby now. Happy?”
# # #
Tanner
Suddenly, he felt like he'd been living in the attic, or a dank basement, for the last couple weeks, and someone had just come in and turned the light on over his head. But, instead of an overhanging light, the bulb had been a simple little test that Star taken. The thought that he was going to be a father just shot right through his chest and punctured his heart.
He was going to be a father. A pops, just like his old man had been. Maybe not exactly like him, of course. But, shit, he was going to be a dad.
“I . . . I . . .” he mumbled, unable to get any real words out his mouth.
“Well?” she pressed. “Aren't you happy about getting your inheritance, at least?”
He realized, as she asked her question that, honestly, he didn't really give a shit about the money. The inheritance was important for helping his mom, of course. But, in the grand scheme of things? No, the cash and assets didn't really matter. What mattered was his blood, and that his and Star's child grew up to be healthy and strong.
Tanner shook his head.
“Well, what then?” she asked again, concern in her voice. “Tell me, Tanner.”
“You're having my baby,” he said, a smile slowly growing on his face. “I mean, I'm going to be a dad.” He turned to her slowly, to that beautiful heart-shaped face of hers. He reached up a hand, touched her cheek. “Yes. I'm happy.”
She smiled wanly at him. “So, what does this mean for us?”
A flash of memories surged in his mind suddenly. An image of the big Roaming Wolves member looming over him, baseball bat in hand. That guy, whoever he was, he was out there, still. And, this was personal. A moment of doubt entered his mind. He needed to keep Star, and their child, away from this guy. Safe from him.
“Well, our agreement was that you'd get to keep the baby,” he said, surprising even himself as the words left his mouth. “I don't get a say in it, do I?”
“Of course you get a say in it. This thing takes two, doesn't it?”
He shrugged, continuing with his line of thinking. “That wasn't the agreement. In fact, the agreement was for us to have a baby, and then that be it.”
“So, you want to stick with it, then? And not stick with me?”
“No, that's not what I'm saying.”
She paused, pressed her lips together, and glared up at him. “What's going on? What aren't you telling me?”
Tanner looked away. “I'm just worried, that's all. I still have to go after the Roaming Wolves, for what they did to Brendon. One of them, one I saw in the apartment where we found my brother, I think he's got it in for me.”
“What do you mean? What does that have to do with us?”
“I mean, I don't know if I can protect you from them. From him.”
“You got Brendon back,” she pointed out, her voice getting more exasperated. “What more do you need to do?”
“Look,” he said, begrudgingly telling her about the MC's business, “we think we found where the guy is, the guy who got Brendon hooked on smack.”
“What?” she nearly yelled, then turned and went into the living room.
“We've got these guys right where we want them, now. I mean, this could all be over soon.”
“You're going to be a fucking father, Tanner,” Star yelled. “And you want to go traipsing around, chasing after bikers?”
“These guys have it out for me, out for us. We need to show them we can't be pushed around.”
She gritted her teeth and turned away from him for a second. When she looked back, her eyes were on fire. “I want to go with you, then.”
“What?” Tanner asked, his head almost snapping back in surprise. “Fuck no. This ain't women's business. You can't just show up and expect to do this kind of thing. What if you got hurt?”
“What if I got hurt?” she yelled. “What if you got hurt?”
“You know what,” he said, pushing past her to get to the door. “I'm going. I'll talk to you later.”
He was out the door, slamming it shut behind him before she could finish her yelling.
Tanner was halfway to his bike when she threw open the door. “Screw you, Tanner Rainier!”
The last time they'd slept together, he'd felt like they'd connected, like she understood who he was, and what he sometimes had to do. But now, with this and the way she was acting, he realized that maybe he was wrong. Maybe Star didn't understand him, and maybe she never would. He just kept walking.
He'd be damned if she tried to tie him down, or pull him away, like Willow had to Brendon. And this was how shit like that always started. “Don't go with your friends. Don't have that beer. Do you think you need that piece of fried chicken?”
Relationships kept you away from what really mattered. Their arrangement, and the way they had things before, was the way to go. He'd had the right idea from the beginning.
Of course, if that was true . . . why did he care so damn much about her, and their child growing inside her?
He pushed the thought aside and climbed on to his bike. He kicked his hog alive, and sped off to meet the rest of the Blood Warriors.