Chapter 28
Farrah
I woke up on Monday morning. The night was still thick in the room but it had the silver quality that came with the promise of morning. I hadn’t woken up because something was wrong. I woke up because, for the first time, something was right. For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t scared or worried—and I didn’t hate myself.
There was still a journey ahead of me to take care of everything that had happened in my relationship with Jim, but everything I had been worried about between me and Lee was over. He accepted me for who I was and he was willing to make it work together. It was all I had ever wanted and the one thing I’d been terrified to hope for.
When I glanced at the time I saw that Lee’s alarm wouldn’t go off for another hour. He had work again today. I would have loved for him to stay with me but I couldn’t expect him to give everything up. That was what Jim had expected of me and I didn’t want to be anything nearing that. What I liked about Lee was that he took care of me by letting me live. And I cared for Lee because of who he was in total. I hadn’t been loved that way and it was refreshing to approach our future together like that.
As I lay next to Lee, I just watched him sleep. He had been so wonderful from the start. Not only had he allowed me to be bold and do things I had never done before when I’d first met him, he had also been understanding and kind when I’d explained why I had wanted to sleep with him.
When I had gotten pregnant he could have turned me away. Instead, he had committed to a new life he hadn’t planned for, purely because it was the right thing to do. And he wanted to try a life with me as well. Even after he’d learned everything about me, and had to deal with Jim coming here and causing trouble for everyone.
Lee was an amazing person and I was starting to fall for him. No, that wasn’t true. I had already fallen for him. Lee was the kind of man that was impossible not to love, and I loved him. When I looked at him I saw the father of my child, the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, if we could only make it work. I wanted to try to make it happen. I wanted to be with Lee for the long haul. We were going to raise this baby together and that was exactly what I wanted. A family.
I traced Lee’s features with my eyes. His straight nose, his thick brows, his dark hair—at least half of it gray—was messy from sleep. He arm was propped up under his head, a habit he had when he slept, and his pillow was folded double as if it wasn’t thick enough.
When I looked at him like this, my heart swelled with affection and I knew without a doubt that I loved him.
Yesterday, Lee had been kind and gentle. We had spent the day together and he had done everything in his power to cheer me up, and to ensure that I was alright without smothering me in the process. He hadn’t touched on anything that was difficult to talk about. He hadn’t asked any questions, even though I had thought he might. He made an effort to make the day a great one, and he had succeeded. I had been able to relax and stop thinking about Jim, and thanks to that I was able to lift my chin and keep marching on again.
Lee had never pushed for anything more, even though we had made out on the couch like teenagers all day. He hadn’t touched me anywhere sexual, and he hadn’t put pressure on me to give him more. I hadn’t been ready for it and I had been a little worried he would want something I wasn’t ready to give.
The fact that Lee had done that for me really mattered. He was a true gentleman. He respected me and cared about my feelings. It was something I wasn’t used to. I had been with someone who had always taken what he wanted and done nothing else. This time, it was different. This time, I was with someone who treated me with the respect I hadn’t even known I deserved until now.
It was amazing that Lee had waited for me, that he had been kind and careful and that he had held back no matter what he wanted so that I could decide what I wanted.
But now, I wanted him. I wanted more. I wanted us to be together, to connect in the way we had connected before. I needed to be with Lee that way again so that we could repair whatever might have slipped through the cracks when Jim had come back trying to ruin everything for us.
I should have known that Lee would never have let that happen, but everything we went through was a learning experience. Lee and I were still getting to know each other and I had learned this weekend that he was a pillar of strength.
Being connected in that way was what I wanted, and now. I wanted to carry on building this thing we were creating together—a world where everything was sure and solid, based on respect and mutual affection. If not love.
I reached out and ran my fingertips down Lee’s cheek, caressing his face. He took a deep breath and sighed. A moment later, his eyes fluttered open. I shifted closer to him so that my face was close to his and gently planted kisses all over his face. He sighed again and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him and rolling onto his back so that I lay half on top of him. I shifted so that my crotch was pressed against his, and I and started moving my body, grinding myself slowly against him.
As I did, I felt him stiffen, and his cock was hard in no time. I kissed him on the mouth and we made out the way we had on the couch yesterday, but this time it was charged with sexual tension. I wanted him. Warmth washed over me and I was quickly getting wet.
Lee ran his hands down my body and squeezed my ass, helping me grind myself against him. Our lovemaking became more and more urgent, and Lee started tugging at my clothes. He wanted me as much as I wanted him.
He peeled up my shirt and pulled it over my head. When I was topless, my breasts were against his naked chest. Lee always slept with only a pair of boxers. We carried on making out like this. Lee ran his hands over my naked back, running his fingers through my hair while we kissed.
After a while, Lee tugged at my waistband and I helped him pull down my pajama bottoms, working them down my legs with my own hands when he couldn’t reach anymore. I kicked them off the bed. I wanted to go for his boxers but Lee pushed me onto my back, taking control. He put his hand on my heat and I spread my legs for him, bending my knees, giving him space. He kissed me while he pushed his fingers into my slit and rubbed my clit. I moaned into his mouth while he ran his fingers up and down my pussy, pushing them into me before coming back to my clit.
He alternated between my clit and my g-spot, working me up until I was on the edge but not letting me tip over into my first orgasm. He was making me want it so badly. My body trembled in anticipation as he drew it out until I finally moaned and cried out, begging him to let me have my release.
Lee chuckled when I begged, and pushed his thumb against my clit while he plunged his fingers into me again. He took me all the way and I orgasmed, crying out and curling on the bed. Lee kissed me and I moaned into his mouth, pulling up my legs as pleasure pulled me into a ball.
Lee rolled me over so my back was toward him and shifted so that he was behind me. He pulled my hip so that I was bent at the waist a little and he guided himself to my entrance. He was doing me from behind but this wasn’t doggy style. This wasn’t animalistic fucking. When he pushed into me, he was spooning me, his face in my neck where he kissed and nibbled the skin and he rocked his hips, sliding in and out of me while he held me the way he held me when we fell asleep at night.
He made love to me. We moved together on the bed. Lee’s hand slipped between my legs again and while he pushed into me, rocking my body with his dick, while his fingers were on my clit. I was sensitive after orgasming the first time, but he managed to coax me into a second orgasm and I breathed out long and low as it was different than what I’d had before.
After I recovered for a moment, Lee pulled back and I rolled over so that we faced each other. I kissed him, my arms around his neck. He moved so he was on top of me, his elbows on either side of my head and he pushed into me again. It was missionary, the position said to be the most boring, but with Lee it was amazing. Sex with him was different this time. It was as if he was showing me how he felt about me. We were closer after everything that had happened. The connection I’d been looking for was there, and building as his face was only a breath away from mine. We stared into each other’s eyes and it was intimate, passionate and perfect.
Lee started rocking harder and harder. My breathing deepened and increased as he pushed into me faster and faster. Before, he had pushed me into orgasms but this time it was as if we were holding hands and we were walking into it, together.
When we orgasmed, it was exactly at the same time. My body contracted in the same rhythm his pulsated and we were on a level we had never been before. This was what happened when we were a team, I thought. This was how it was when we cared about each other and we were willing to fight for each other.
We lay together like that, with his dick buried inside of me, unwilling to break contact, for the longest time after the orgasms faded. Finally, unable to stay inside of me anymore, he slipped out of me. Still, he pulled me against him and I lay on his chest. His arm was wrapped around me and the warmth that came from him was like sunshine. I basked in it. His heart beat against my cheek and I closed my eyes.
We dozed off together. I wasn’t sure if it was minutes or hours but the time between us seemed to stretch into infinity. We waited together for the alarm to go off, telling me Lee had to leave for work.
Being with him like this was amazing. Even when I had met Jim and had thought that was what real love felt like, it hadn’t been anything like this. Nothing Jim did would ever feel like this, because he was the problem.
My shot eyes open when I realized what I had just done. For the first time, I had blamed Jim and not myself.
I glanced up at Lee and he dropped a kiss on my forehead, looking at me with nothing but love in his eyes.