Chapter 2
Farrah
The Pint was an incredible place. I didn’t usually like pubs and bars, but this was something else. The big pine tree must have been something spectacular before it had fallen over. The trunk was the biggest I had ever seen on a pine. Now that it was it was on its side, I had a feeling it looked even bigger than it might have standing upright. With it lying flat on the ground I had a feeling it was easier to see just how broad the base of it had been.
The Pint had been built at the base of the pine with the roots curling around it like a nest. The pub had been built so that it incorporated the giant roots and the base of the tree without damaging it. It was amazing that the tree was still alive and that the residents respected it enough to keep it that way.
The owner of the pub was a woman. Hannah Roper. I found that fact just as interesting. It wasn’t every day that I came across a woman who did a man’s job and did it well. Everyone seemed to know her and look up to her. All five-foot-two-inches of her. She was more than a head shorter than I was but she had a hell of a personality to match her fierce body.
Her brother had caught my attention and then some. Lee, he’d said to call him. He was very tall and well-built, all muscle and brawn, and he looked rough and rugged, the way a lot of folks looked out here in the mountains. But there was something different about him—a quiet stability perhaps. He was attractive in an unassuming way. How could he possibly not know he was hot? No man had the right to look that good, and Lee Roper was drop-dead gorgeous.
I walked around the pub, getting to know the feel of the place, and getting to know the people. Everyone who walked through the doors belonged to a family here at the Pint and I loved it. I loved that even I, a total stranger, felt at home here.
The lighting wasn’t bad for photos. It was dim, but with my flash, I knew the photos wouldn’t feel dark, in a negative way. On the contrary, I expected them to have a rustic, warm feel to them, reflecting the welcoming spirit of the place.
On the side of the bar that was wood frame construction, there were photos of a variety of customers and parties that had been hosted at The Pint. It was surrounded by other memorabilia and only added to the nostalgia. I took a few photos. The other side of the bar was perfectly bare because it was the base of the tree and no one had hammered anything into the tree itself.
I felt eyes on me, but when I turned toward the bar, everyone minded their own business. Lee wiped the bar where a few customers had just left. I lifted my camera and snapped a few photos of him. He towered over the other bartender. If anything, the comparison only made him look taller and more muscular against his smaller co-worker.
When Hannah had introduced us, his good looks and easy attitude had made me stutter. His dark hair was beginning to show hints of gray, so I guessed him to be in his late thirties. I was thirty-three, so that was perfect.
But that didn’t matter. Why was I even thinking about it like that?
His dark eyes were deep and churning, unsettling me in a way I wanted to be unsettled. In his presence, I’d been beside myself, feeling like I was going to trip over my words like a school girl who didn’t know how to talk to boys. I’d managed to get out a speech sounding a lot more confident than I’d felt, but gosh I had to pull myself together while I was here.
I was being bold. It was something I was trying, something new. If I didn’t try to get out there again, I might never be able to move forward with a new life. So, I gave myself a pep talk about what I was trying to do here and where I was headed.
When everything in my life had crumbled and broken I had nearly gone in the same direction, myself. I had spiraled downward, and the only way I would be able to save myself was to do the opposite of what I’d been doing for the past five years. I had to be the change if I wanted to see the change.
I was glad I’d been on top of my game when I’d spoken to Hannah. But being a woman and so much smaller than me, she wasn’t as intimidating. Lee was intimidating because he was a man. A big one at that. He didn’t come across as the type that would expect control. He was nothing like Jim had been
The moment my thoughts jumped to Jim, I tried to push them away again. I wasn’t going to think about him. I was here on this trip to be bold, to forget about my past, to ignore that Jim existed. This was about me and nothing else.
When was the last time something had been about me? It had been far too long and I deserved this.
Be the change, see the change, I chanted in my head. Dr. Boyer had taught me how to talk myself out of something. Or into something. This was the phrase we had chosen together.
I stayed for the evening. The bar stayed full until deep into the night. At two in the morning, when Hannah called out it was closing time, the announcement was met with disappointment. It wasn’t hard to see that this was the preferred hangout in town.
“Do you want to stay for a beer?” Lee said, when the customers trickled out the doors. He had appeared beside me like a ghost and I jumped slightly. When I looked at him I had to look up, which didn’t happen to be very often. I usually either looked men in the eye or I had to look down at them. Up until now, Jim had been the only man I’d ever had to look up to.
I forced myself not to think about him. I needed a distraction.
“I’d like that,” I said. Lee was the perfect distraction.
I followed him back to the bar and perched on one of the stools. Lee poured me a beer and I took it, willing my hands not to shake. Why was I so nervous? I had to get over it.
The other bartender, Dustin, fussed about his tips a bit before he announced he was leaving. I would have stayed if this was how things were every night. But Dustin didn’t look like he fit in here the way Hannah and Lee did. When Dustin was gone and it was only me, Hannah and Lee left, Lee turned to me.
“Did you get a couple of good shots?” he asked.
I nodded. Hannah joined us and climbed onto the stool next to me.
“And?” she asked. I smiled and picked up the camera, flicking through photos and showing them to her and to Lee. I skipped a lot of the photos I had taken of Lee. Maybe I had taken too many of him. I hadn’t been able to help myself. He was perfect to photograph. He was perfect in a lot of ways, but that would be my little secret.
“Which ones do you like?” I asked, going through them again. Hannah picked out her favorite. I promised her I would submit them to the Board. The photos would appear on the website, showing the best side of The Pint.
“How did you get this job?” Hannah asked.
“As a photographer, or with the Tourism Board?” I asked.
“Tourism Board.”
I glanced at Lee who was as interested as Hannah was. I felt a little flustered when he looked at me that way. His dark eyes were intense and unfaltering.
“I try to take jobs all over so I can travel a bit while I’m still making a living. Being a freelancer and earning money this way has allowed me to see the world. Before, I worked for a company and even though the pay is stable, I didn’t experience as much as I do now.”
“That’s very brave,” Lee said. He leaned with his elbows on the bar and his muscles bulged. I swallowed and averted my eyes, pulling up my shoulders.
“We all need to find a space where we belong, right? I guess I’m still looking.”
Why had I said that? It was a little too close to home, too personal and something I hadn’t meant to say. But when I glanced up at Lee his eyes were smiling at me, and it made me feel disoriented. I tried to fight off a blush that came out of nowhere and only partially succeeded. Luckily, Hannah spoke to Lee and neither of them looked at me.
I sat with them while they talked and laughed about the customers they had served tonight. I sipped my beer. Funny, I usually didn’t like beer that much, but this was the best beer I’d ever tasted.
“I need to get going,” I said, when my glass had been empty for a while. Lee and Hannah both looked at me.
“You’re welcome to stay a while longer,” Hannah said.
I shook my head. “Thank you, but I have to get up early to start editing these.” I patted my camera. “Thank you for having me.”
“Of course,” Hanna said. “You’re welcome, anytime.”
I said my goodbye to Lee who smiled at me. It was a genuine smile, broad and dazzling. His teeth with whiter than white and it made me tingle. I offered him a small smile in return and left the bar while Hannah and Lee poured themselves another beer.
My motel wasn’t too far from The Pint and it was a beautiful night. I walked back to the motel as the night curled around me, the inky black sky littered with stars. I took in a deep breath and I could almost taste the night, laced with the smell of pine and fir.
Packwood was a beautiful place. Calm and peaceful, it was nestled in between the mountains, sheltered from the outside world so it felt like reality couldn’t catch up with me here. I could breathe out here and be myself.
How long had it been since I’d felt that way?
My mind wanted to jump to Jim, but I forced myself to think about Lee instead. He was the first man that jumped into my mind when I tried to avoid thinking about Jim, and I thought again about how he had been such a perfect distraction.
Lee seemed like the type that respected a woman. He was so confident in himself it wasn’t hard to see that he would allow others to be the same. Men like that were rare. Most men were always caught up in the competition, caught up in taking charge and trying to be the alpha.
But Lee wasn’t trying. He already was the alpha around here. I could see it in the way others treated him; Dustin obviously deferred to him, and even Hannah had a certain way of responding to him, even though she was the owner of the bar and he worked for her.
Since I had started doing photography, I’d learned a lot about people. It was like I saw them clearly when I saw them through a lens, and I’d really learned to read people. I only wish I’d had the same ability five years ago. I might have made different choices.
The motel wasn’t a five-star joint, but it was warm and cozy and all I needed. My room wasn’t very big, the wallpaper and curtains were all decorated with the same floral pattern, and the carpet was worn from the door to the bed to the bathroom. But I was safe and it was mine for as long as I stayed in Packwood.
I climbed into bed after getting ready and closed my eyes, but I couldn’t sleep. The energy at the pub and the beer in my system had me wired. I tried for an hour before I finally gave up. I pulled on jeans and a thick jacket against the night air and headed out for a walk.
The old ‘me’ would never have done it—I’d have been too scared. But this was the new me and I wasn’t going to look back. At the last minute, I grabbed my camera. I didn’t always find something I could capture, but never say never.
I walked in the direction of town. The Pint was quiet and dark, now with only one car left in the lot. I sat down on a bench and looked up at the stars. They were like diamonds, scattered across the heavens.
The door to the bar opened and I watched as Lee stepped out and locked up. He looked up at the stars the same way I had, and I even saw his shoulders rise and fall as he took a deep breath. I lifted my camera and clicked.