Chapter 9
WESTON
I rush up the stairs and into my bedroom before Samantha can follow me or call me back. Not that she would after the way I just acted. What the hell was I thinking, touching her like that? I must have scared the hell out of her when I recoiled from her. As if she needed more reasons to want to get the hell out of here.
I blame Madeline entirely for this. If she hadn’t planted the idea in my head that Samantha could be a romantic interest, then I wouldn’t feel so awful about touching her arm. It was an innocent gesture, but it makes me feel like I’ve betrayed Cheryl’s memory in some way.
But why is that? I wasn’t attracted to Samantha when I met her. I haven’t had any inappropriate thoughts about her, and she hasn’t expressed an interest in me either. In fact, she’s clearly still mourning the fact that her fiancé left her. So why does it feel so wrong to have reached out to comfort her?
I guess it’s the wine talking, but the short time we spent downstairs together definitely set my pulse racing for one reason or another. Maybe I am interested in Samantha, and I just can’t bring myself to admit it. Madeline would claim I’ve been acting like a kid on a playground, teasing Samantha to hide my feelings for her. But it just makes no sense. I haven’t felt that way about anyone since Cheryl. Not even a little. But I can’t clear my head enough to think straight, so how am I meant to do something about this?
I get into bed fully clothed, waiting for the room to stop spinning. I’ve definitely had too much to drink. But I wish I could just shut my brain down for a while and wake up when Samantha is gone. I don’t want to face this feeling. But she’s etched in my mind now. I can feel her presence in this house, as though she’s lying right next to me in this bed. She’s rattled me to the core, and now I don’t know how to rid myself of her.
Just sleep, I tell myself, you’ll feel better by morning. I turn on my side and pinch my eyes shut, hoping that the next time I open them, I will have brought some sense back to my life.
***
I wake to a pair of hands shaking me. I groan in annoyance, registering a throbbing in my head - the familiar feeling of a hangover. I open my eyes and see a disappointed Madeline glaring down at me.
“Weston! It’s nearly 10 am. The guys on the ranch are swamped with work. Eric has been up for hours without any breakfast! And you promised Samantha a lift back to the hotel!”
I sigh deeply, rubbing at my forehead. “I must have slept through my alarm.”
“If you even bothered to set one!”
The sound of Madeline’s voice is hurting my head even more. I sit up, black sparks forming in front of my eyes. After a few quiet moments, Madeline sighs, sitting down beside me on the bed. She pats my arm.
“I know the first few days after New York are always hard...but you can’t let things slip again.”
It takes me a few seconds to realize what she means. She thinks that I’m depressed. She thinks I’ve slipped back to my old tendencies when I wouldn’t get out of bed for days to hide from the world. She thinks I’m giving up. I sigh, shaking my head.
“I’m fine, I promise...I’ve got a hangover, is all.”
Madeline’s eyes widen. “You haven’t had a hangover in...in years!” Madeline’s concern melts into a smile. “Did you have a drink with our guest?”
I don’t respond, getting out of bed before Madeline can hound me further. “I’m going to grab a coffee. Then I’m taking Samantha back to the hotel.”
“Alright,” Madeline coos with a newfound cheerfulness. I fix her a glare and she leaves my bedroom smugly with a little wave in my direction. I shut my door before she can tease me further.
I get dressed and head downstairs to make a coffee. But as I enter the kitchen and head for the coffee machine, I realize I’m not alone. Samantha is standing in her freshly washed clothes from yesterday, a mug cradled in her hands. She looks so out of place in my kitchen with her awkward stance and terrified expression that I almost laugh. But after the way last night went, I don’t think I have any right to be laughing at her.
Samantha scuffs her feet against the tiles shyly. “Hi,” she says, shifting from foot to foot. I nod to her, grabbing my own mug.
“Morning. Just let me drink my coffee and I’ll take you back.”
Samantha offers me a shy smile. “No rush. Especially if you’re feeling a little...fragile this morning. That wine is lethal.”
I chuckle quietly. “You can say that again. Madeline has a death wish for us, I swear.”
Samantha looks a little more comfortable now, leaning against the counter. “Clearly. I’ve not felt this hungover since my college days.”
“Well, you don’t look hungover at all,” I say. The second the words pass my lips, I regret them. I almost clamp a hand to my mouth in shock. What the hell did I say that for? It sounds way too flirty. Samantha’s smile has dropped now and she’s clammed up again, retreating into herself like a tortoise in its shell.
“Thanks,” she says eventually, but she’s clearly uncomfortable. I curse myself for making this worse just when we were finally getting back on track. She probably thinks I’m trying to take advantage of her, now that I know she’s going through a breakup. I drain my coffee, though it’s far too hot to be gulping right now. I just want to get her out of here. The sooner the better, before I embarrass myself further.
“Shall we?” I ask huskily, my throat scalded from the drink. Samantha keeps her eyes on the ground as she nods, following me to the front door. Eric comes trundling down the stairs, staring at Samantha.
“Are you going already?”
Samantha smiles at him gently. “I’m heading back to my hotel, now. It was nice to meet you!”
Eric gives me a stare before heading back upstairs in stony silence. Samantha looks hurt by his reaction.
“I’m so sorry about Eric...he actually was really keen on you staying,” I explain hastily. Samantha is clearly unconvinced.
“It’s okay...I know I’ve overstayed my welcome.”
“Not at all!” Madeline says as she rushes to the door to say goodbye. “You’re very welcome here, Samantha. Eric is just a little grouchy in the mornings.”
Samantha perks up a little. “Well, that I can understand...my kids at the primary school were always the same. It was good to meet you all.”
“I’m sure we’ll see you around while you’re in town!” Madeline hints optimistically. I usher Samantha out of the house. With one last glare at Madeline, I shut the door.
My car is on the other side of the ranch. It doesn’t get much use these days - I only use it to go out of town, and my trips out are few and far between now. I used to be a car enthusiast, with a rather expensive collection of Maserati and Bugatti, but since moving out here, I much prefer the feeling of riding a horse in the open air. Still, I can’t exactly take Samantha up to her hotel on horseback. Especially if we were to ride together - we have already gotten too close for comfort once.
I open the car door for Samantha and she ducks inside gratefully. I take a moment to pull myself together before getting in the driver’s seat. The last thing I need is to embarrass myself in front of Samantha again.
I get the car started and concentrate on getting up the bumpy track that winds up the hill to the hotel. Samantha looks out of the window at the view. It’s something I’ve begun to take for granted, but I guess it really is impressive, especially to someone who has never been here before. Samantha smiles softly to herself.
“Do you like it here? Or do you miss the city?” she asks. I blink twice. It’s hard to imagine why she wants to talk personally now when we will never see one another again. But I find myself wanting to open up to her. I sigh.
“Well...when I moved here, I never felt sure about it. I had my reasons for coming, but I spent some time questioning if it was the right choice. I used to be the CEO of a large business, and I guess it was a bit of a shock to the system.”
Samantha nods. “It’s beautiful out here...but I do miss the city, already. I guess places like this kind of seem like a distant dream...it’s hard to settle somewhere so perfect.”
I’m stunned into silence. It’s like she’s read my thoughts and voiced them out loud. I had no idea anyone else felt that way about this place. I’ve always felt a little detached from here, and I always wondered if it was to do with why I’m here. Did Cheryl asking me to come here taint it for me? But now that I understand that someone else feels the same...and it feels good.
“I do miss New York,” I admit as the car crawls slowly up the slope. It’s a clearer day today, and I can see for miles around from our position. “There’s so much...nothingness around here. I’ve made it my home, now, and I thank my stars every day. But there’s something about the city, isn’t there?”
“So much character,” Samantha agrees, nodding as she continues to admire the view. “I used to love my trips out to New York as a kid. You always knew it was going to be a good summer when the school announced we were visiting the Natural History Museum…”
“Nerd,” I say without thinking. Fortunately, Samantha laughs at my little jibe.
“Of course I’m a nerd. Why else would I become a teacher?” she says, tipping her head to the side to smile at me. I smile back automatically. She’s so much looser now that we’re alone, and it’s nice to see her unwinding a little. She turns her head back to the road ahead.
“I used to go to the city with my mom, too. She loved the theatre, so we used to go and see all the big Broadway shows. We’d always make a big deal of it...we’d go for a fancy meal beforehand, get all dolled up and choose the best seats…” Samantha chuckles to herself. “It seems silly now...I would go to the theatre wearing such glitzy outfits. Clothes I would never dream of wearing now. But to me, at the time, it was just the best feeling.”
“I kinda think it sounds great. My sister is into the same kind of stuff,” I admit. We’re edging closer to the top of the hill, but I slow down a little. For some reason, I don’t want to drop her off just yet. Not when we’re finally having a good conversation. “Sounds like you’re pretty close with your mom.”
“Yeah, I guess I am. I got lucky with my parents - they’ve always been super supportive, super in tune with me and my needs. Some people complain that you can’t choose your family, but actually, I wouldn’t change mine for the world.” She pauses, glancing over at me. Her gaze sends a shiver down my spine. I’m very aware that she’s watching me. It’s like if she wanted to, she could read all the invisible scars on my skin and figure me out. I’ve been more open with Samantha than I have with anyone for years, and yet I still haven’t given much away. But I get the feeling that, given a little more time, she might just get to the bottom of me. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.
“What about you? Are you close with your family? I mean, you seem pretty tight with Eric and Madeline.”
“Madeline is a friend of my mom’s...and Eric is my world.” I clear my throat. This conversation has turned a little too raw for me. If I’m not careful, soon Samantha will be asking me about Cheryl and why I moved out here. “I, um, I actually have a really big family. My parents live out in the Hamptons. I’m the eldest of four kids - Brandon and Aiden are the middle kids, then Georgia is the youngest.”
“Wow. That’s a full house.”
I chuckle. “Yep. My parents had their hands full, for sure. Especially with Georgia. She can be a real handful when she wants to be.”
“You’ve got to be a tough - a girl in a house full of boys. Too much testosterone,” Samantha teases. I feel myself relax a little into my seat as we turn into the main road that hosts the hotel.
“Yeah, definitely…”
We fall into a comfortable silence. With every yard we inch, the closer I get to the realization that this is it. This is goodbye. I pull up outside the hotel and stop the engine. We both sit for a few moments without saying anything. Samantha almost reaches for the door handles, but she wavers. She glances at me, blushing.
“Well...thanks for the ride. And for letting me stay last night. And for saving me. I...I hope I wasn’t too much trouble.”
“Of course not,” I say gently, though, in actual fact, she’s presented problems to me that I never expected to have. I never expected to feel sparks again. I never expected to get a crush on someone I barely know. I never expected to have an interest in someone that I previously clashed with. And yet, all of those things have happened in the space of barely twenty-four hours. Finally, Samantha grabs the door handle and lets herself out. She glances back at me once with an awkward smile. Then she heads inside without looking back, no matter how much I wish to myself that she’d turn around.