Chapter 18
SAMANTHA
I wake up feeling excited about the picnic we have planned today. I’ve wanted to have an al fresco meal since I arrived, and I can’t think of anything sweeter than eating lunch with Weston and Eric. I’ve been up since early this morning, picking out a cute sweater and jeans for the horse ride, and shopping for picnic food. I almost bought a bottle of champagne too, but I have to keep reminding myself that Weston isn’t my boyfriend. We’ve only just met, for starters. Besides, with Eric attending, booze seems like a bad idea altogether.
As midday approaches, I head down to the ranch with all of the goodies. I’m chirpy and bright-eyed, probably looking like a teenage girl who just got her first kiss at the school dance. Weston and Eric are already out by the stables with Cherry and Peanut Butter when I arrive. Eric waves at me with his chubby little hand.
“Samantha!”
“Hey, buddy. Ready to go riding?”
Eric nods insistently. “Peanut Butter wants to get going. Dad, can we go now that Samantha’s here?”
Weston catches my eye and we share a secretive smile. It feels for a moment like it’s just the pair of us here. I blush when I catch Eric watching, and Weston clears his throat.
“Yes, alright. Samantha can ride with me.”
I thought after riding Cherry once, I’d be fine, but the nerves sink in again as I mount the horse. The difference this time is that I don’t shy away from Weston’s touch. As we ride out to the lake at a slow pace, I relish his skin on mine. It’s a warm day, perfect for the occasion, but I can’t help sweating when one of Weston’s hands slides from the reins to my waist. I snuggle back against his chest before I can change my mind. Before this moment, we were full of subtlety. A small touch here, a brush of the hand there. Now, I feel exposed as my shirt brushes aside and Weston’s warm hand meets the skin of my hip. I try to keep breathing normally, but it’s harder now than ever to control myself around him.
Eric pushes on ahead, making Peanut Butter speed up as he giggles. Weston leans his face in towards my ear from behind, circling the skin on my hip with his fingers.
“I had something I wanted to talk to you about,” he whispers. I shiver. I’m liking this straight-talking Weston. Maybe now, he’s going to be honest about his intentions, and tell me how he sees things between us.
“Okay. Later?” I ask, hoping I don’t sound as nervous as I feel. Weston nods.
“Yeah, for sure. When we’ve got a moment to ourselves,” he says gently. I nod, feeling my heart go into override. This is it. This is our moment. Finally. Now, my skin is on fire at his touch, and my cheeks are permanently heated up. I need a break, but I don’t want to move away. So I suffer through it, a thousand feelings colliding with one another all at once as we continue the trek.
We come to a clearing where the lake shimmers like diamonds. I notice a big gnarled tree that I would have loved to climb as a child. The branches look strong and sturdy, and the trunk has plenty of natural footholds. Eric seems to have noticed it too, leading Peanut Butter towards the tree. He turns around, giving Weston an imploring gaze.
“Can we stop here?” he asks. Weston gives the tree a disapproving glance.
“I suppose you want to go tree climbing?”
Eric nods enthusiastically. Weston sighs, rubbing at his neck.
“Alright. But no high branches, okay? And don’t go near the lake,” he says, gesturing to a log that has fallen in the shallows of the water. “It’s going to be slippery. It’s not safe.”
Eric is nodding, but I can tell he’s not really listening. He’s got that glazed over look that I recognize from so many kids in my classes when I’m teaching math. He’s not interested in anything Weston is saying. He hops down from Peanut Butter’s back and ties her to one of the trees before starting to climb. Weston shakes his head to himself.
“That boy has no fear. He’s so little...I worry he’s going to fall,” Weston says as he gets down from the horse. He helps me down and I flash him a sympathetic smile.
“Kids are light on their feet. He should be fine. Besides...once he sees the picnic I’ve made he’ll lose all interest in climbing,” I reply. Weston grins, rubbing my arm.
“You’re sweet, comforting me like that...but I guess you can never be too careful when it comes to your kid. I’m going to worry regardless,” he says, taking a picnic blanket from his backpack.
“You’re a good father, you know. And, of course, you’ll worry, but he’s a bright kid. He’s not going to do anything silly.”
“Let’s hope not. I want this picnic to be perfect,” Weston says, taking the picnic bag from my hands and beginning to lay out the food. I’ve put on a good spread - little ham sandwiches, veggies and dip, cookies and little baskets of strawberries. I even bought some homemade lemonade from a nearby store.
“This looks great, Samantha. You’ve made such an effort. Come sit with me,” Weston says, patting the blanket beside him. I do as he asks, sitting as close to him as I dare. He’s leaning back on his hands, watching Eric clamber up the tree with ease and confidence. He sighs, a sad smile playing on his lips.
“Sometimes, I look at him and I can’t believe he’s mine. I can’t believe I created something so beautiful and pure,” he says. “And then I remember how cruel the world can be, and I just want to protect him from it all. Every time I let him out of my sight, I feel this…vulnerability. Like everything is going to go wrong. Even when I send him off to school each day, I have this dumb compulsion to chase down his bus and follow him.”
“It’s natural to be protective of your son…”
Weston bites his lip. “I know that. I know I can’t be the only one who has these crazy thoughts all of the time. But it makes me feel like I’m going insane. There’s only so much you can do for your kid, and it’s possible to do too much and ruin them. I just want him to have a perfect life. I don’t ever want him to suffer. I don’t want him to experience heartbreak or sickness or liars. I just want to shelter him from everything bad. I don’t want him to go through things I’ve experienced.”
I hold my breath, waiting for him to expand on the topic, but he doesn’t. I guess he’s building up to it, so I don’t push him on it.
“Sorry. That’s a conversation for another time. We’re supposed to be having fun,” he says, hanging his head.
“Hey, it’s fine. Whenever you want to talk, my ears are open.”
He nods, but he seems a little embarrassed, so he scoops up some carrots and dips them in the hummus. He jokingly waves one in front of my face and I smile, opening my mouth so that he can feed me one. Stupidly, this feels very intimate. I guess it’s because I can remember Colin joking around this way when we were first dating. It feels fresh and exciting to have him so close to me, to my lips. I want to kiss his fingertips. I want to lay him down on this blanket and make out with him all day and all night. I’m holding back because of Eric, and no other reason. I want him so badly that it’s almost painful to keep myself apart from him. I build up the courage to reach for his fingers, placing my dainty hand over the top of his larger one. He glances up at me in shock, but there’s a smile playing on his lips.
“You’re so different to the girl I met a few days ago,” he murmurs. I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Is that a good thing?”
Weston turns towards me, a playful smile on his lips. He reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers trailing down my neck. “I liked you then, and I like you now,” he says gently. “I didn’t expect to feel this way ever again, Samantha. But you...you’ve shifted something inside me. We know each other for short time, but there’s something about you. You...you make me want to step out of my comfort zone. You make me want to start over and find happiness again.”
I’m barely breathing. I can’t believe this is happening. Three weeks ago, the love of my life left me. Now, a handsome man I’m only just getting to know has captured my heart again. Is this a terrible idea? Should I push him away before anyone’s feelings get hurt? I know I probably should, but it’s the last thing I want to do. Why would I when the smell of him is sending shocks of electricity through me? Why would I when his simple touch makes me tremble, makes me weak at the knees, makes me want to make love all night long?
I lean in a little closer. Weston’s breathing is heavy as he does the same. Our noses nudge and I close my eyes. I can feel the heat of his breath tickling my lips. I want him to make the first move. I want his kiss to wash over me like a wave on the shore, igniting every part of my body. But just as I feel him move in closer, we hear the scream.
We pull apart just in time for me to see Eric collapse into the lake. Weston and I are on our feet in an instant, darting to the lake at full speed. Eric resurfaces from underwater, spluttering and coughing, his face screwed up in agony. He starts to panic and it isn’t long before he’s back under. Weston reaches the water’s edge before I do, diving straight in to get his son. He splashes around for several chaotic seconds before coming up for air with Eric bundled in his arms. He stumbles ashore, Eric whimpering quietly in his arms. Weston falls to his knees, his face screwed up in anger and distress.
“I told you not to play on the log!” Weston cries out, his cheeks reddened. Eric sobs, turning his face into Weston’s chest.
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
Weston is trembling as he kisses his son on the head. I watch them, terrified of the events that just unfolded.
“Are you hurt, Eric?” Weston asks, examining his son’s face and arms.
Eric continues to whine, pointing at his ankle. Weston takes a deep, calming breath and removes Eric’s shoe and sock. There is no visible injury but the ankle is already getting swollen.
“Alright. We need to get you to a doctor.”
“I’m cold, Dad.”
I hastily sweep up the picnic blanket, remnants of the picnic flying everywhere. I take Eric from Weston’s arms and wrap him up as though he is a baby. Weston’s eyes are grateful as he unties the horses, ready to go. He hoists Eric up on top of Cherry before turning back to me.
“Do you think you can handle riding Peanut Butter? I need to be with my son. I can guide her by the reins...”
I glance at the horse. She’s a much smaller than Cherry, so I’m sure that I should be able to handle her. After all, I’ve had some practice over the past few days. The thought of riding alone is a little unnerving, but of course, Eric’s safety is the priority. I nod at Weston.
“Don’t worry about me. Let’s get Eric back.”
Weston’s face has changed entirely since five minutes ago. Back then, we were so close to kissing that I could almost feel his lips on mine. I could see the lust in his eyes as they drank in my entire body. I could feel the heat emanating from him. Now he’s white as a sheet, clutching Eric’s tiny body close as he mounts his horse. I get on Peanut Butter, glad that she doesn’t immediately buck and throw me off. Weston encourages Peanut Butter towards him and then grabs her reins before setting the horses off at a trot towards the ranch.
It takes us around half an hour to get back even going quickly. We spend the journey in silence, apart from Eric’s occasional snuffles and Weston’s quiet reassurances. My heart is racing and I stroke the horse’s mane for comfort. I may only have known Eric a few days, but I’m genuinely concerned. After such a nasty fall, he might have seriously hurt himself. Plus, the water was likely freezing. Even in the heat of the sun, I worry about how cold he must be. I swear that as I watch him, I can see him shivering under the blanket.
Madeline is in the yard when we arrive back, doing some gardening, but she senses something is wrong the moment she sees us. She rushes over to us, helping Eric down from atop Cherry and cradling him while he sobs. Weston has a haunted look in his eyes as he instructs one of the helpers to guide the horses back to the stables. I want to comfort him somehow, but there’s nothing I can say or do right now to make this better.
We walk quickly into the house. I help Eric to get out of his wet clothes and Madeline brings new ones and a warm blanket while Weston goes to get changed too. Once we are done, we wait for Weston by the car. Madeline looks concerned as Weston approaches with car key in his hand.
“He needs to see a doctor immediately.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Weston snaps, scowling at Madeline. I blink in surprise. I know he’s stressed, but I never imagined he’d speak to Madeline like that. Still, she doesn’t seem shocked.
“I’ll come with you to the doctor’s…”
“No,” Weston says to her coldly. I get a feeling that they aren’t on the best terms currently. He turns to me, sadness in his eyes. “Will...will you come with me?”
I’m totally honored that he wants me there with him, though I feel a little bad for Madeline. She clearly cares about Eric’s wellbeing just as much as I do, if not more. It seems unfair that she was shut down so bluntly. I feel like I should say something on her behalf but one look at Weston and I know I would only pour more oil into the fire. Instead, I rub his arm sympathetically.
“Of course,” I tell him. Weston regards Madeline with one final glare before getting into the car. I get into the back seat just as Weston starts up the engine and begins to drive as fast as he can. I turn in my seat and watch Madeline disappear behind us, tears running down her face.
How did today go so wrong?