Chapter 23
WESTON
My heart is racing as I climb the stairs to Samantha’s hotel room. I was half expecting her to turn me away. Part of me hoped she would, simply so I don’t have to face this conversation. But I hurt her with what I said, and I have to make it up to her. I need to admit to my mistakes and fix them before she walks out of my life completely.
Madeline and I have made up for now, and despite her advice, I decided to come here to try and salvage things with Samantha. As Madeline has pointed out, girls like her don’t come around often. I decided to wait until she’d had some time to cool off, but the receptionist warned me of how upset Samantha was. That’s how I know how difficult this is going to be.
I’m close to her room, now. I want a moment to catch my breath, but as I pause, she peaks her head through the door, fixing me a steely glare. I have no choice to approach her, as she looks like she’s ready for a fight right now.
I stop just outside the door. She’s blocking me from coming inside. I was hoping we could sit down and have a mature conversation about this, but she’s obviously not in the mood to be generous. I don’t blame her. I cross my arms over my chest, feeling the need to be defensive, despite being the one in the wrong.
“Thank you for agreeing to see me,” I tell her. “I just wanted a chance to explain myself to you.”
“Start talking then,” Samantha says coldly. Any trace of the sweetness I’d seen in her before has gone completely. Not surprising, of course, but it’s an unusual feeling to be the reason for her wrath.
“Can I come inside?”
I get the feeling that Samantha is about to refuse me, but then she opens the door for me. She’s wearing nothing but a dressing gown. It exposes her collarbones and her cleavage, which I immediately find very distracting. But I have to keep my eyes off her, no matter how sexy she looks right now. I walk past her, making sure to keep my gaze away from her. She shuts the door and then sits down on the king-sized bed, raising her eyebrow.
“Well?”
I gingerly take a seat at the little table in her room, considering it inappropriate to sit next to her when she’s in this kind of mood. “I know what you heard sounded awful.”
“You said I wasn’t good enough for you.”
“That’s…” I know arguing with her now isn’t going to help things, but she needs to know what I meant. I feel a spark of anger myself, but I suppress it. “I know it must have seemed like that’s what I was implying. But I think when I explain what I mean, you’ll understand.”
“Interesting. Because I’m almost certain there’s nothing you can say to make this better,” Samantha says with conviction, though her expression wavers. I sigh.
“Okay...but you wouldn’t have let me in if you didn’t want to hear what I have to say.”
Samantha opens her mouth to argue, before realizing I’m right. She sniffs, waiting for my response. I think my next words out very carefully - I’ve been practicing them on the way here, too.
“I said that you’re not Cheryl, and that’s true. You’re nothing like the woman I married all those years ago. But I’ve come to realize that maybe that’s not a bad thing. No one can replace the person you fell hardest for first. Like for you, no one could compare to Colin, right?”
Samantha shifts uncomfortably. “I guess so…”
“Well, imagine the wedding had gone ahead. Imagine if you lost Colin, but your love lived one. You feel overwhelmed with guilt just for looking at another person, let alone being with one.”
“Maybe at first...but you can’t hold off forever. You know that.”
“I do. I’ve known that deep down for a long time. But it’s not as easy to let go as everyone tells you.”
“No one said it would be easy.”
I resist the urge to cry out in frustration. I knew this would be a hard conversation, but she’s too stubborn to even look at the things from my point of view. I’m starting to wish I had left her to stew longer. But I remind myself why I’m here. I hurt her bad. Of course, she’s lashing out. I take a deep breath.
“No. They didn’t. But this…resisting you has been hard for me, but I knew I had to hold back. Partly because I want this so much and I didn’t want to mess it up. But mostly because every step I take closer to you...I feel like it’s a step further away from Cheryl.”
I seem to have stumped Samantha. She still seems angry, but she keeps her mouth shut and listens. I clear my throat, continuing.
“I know that’s hard to hear. I know you don’t want to know that Cheryl will always hold a piece of my heart. But I know Colin will always hold a piece of yours, too. Every person we fall for takes a little bit for themselves. But I don’t want that to hold me back anymore.”
Samantha’s gaze is distant as she takes in what I’m saying. Slowly, I stand up and move over to the bed to sit beside her. She’s subdued now, but I have to finish saying my piece and be fully honest with her.
“As for the risk...I’ve been terrified for so long of having anything good in my life in case it gets taken away from me again. When I questioned whether you are good enough, I was being a coward. An idiot. I was scared of getting hurt again, by someone like you. Someone far too good for me.” I reach over and take her hand. She doesn’t try to pull away, though her face doesn’t change from her furious expression. She takes a few moments to process everything before she looks up at me with her big brown eyes. I’ve missed those eyes in the short time we’ve been apart, and now, they’re filled with tears. I cup her cheek, frowning. The last thing I want is to make her cry. I wanted to fix this, not make her hurt even more. She sniffs.
“I know there’s a lot you can’t promise me,” she whispers. “I know you can’t promise that you’ll leave Cheryl out of your thoughts. I would never ask that of you. I know you can’t promise that things will work out between us. But can you promise me we can try? Because if not, you might as well walk out now. I’m not interested in being messed around again. Either you’re in, or you’re out.”
My heart is slamming against my ribcage. Does this mean she forgives me on some level? She’s watching my face closely, waiting for an answer. She juts her chin out, trying to look dominant and in control of this situation. But now, it’s up to me to make it right.
“Well? Are you in, or are you out?”
My thumb brushes against her cheek. Then I lean in and kiss her. It’s as sweet as I ever imagined. Her lips are soft. She tastes of red wine. As the kiss deepens and her tongue meets mine, I grip the back of her neck. I can’t get enough of this feeling. After a few moments she pulls away, looking flushed. I grin at her.
“Does that answer your question?”
Samantha giggles, all traces of tears gone from her eyes. “It does.”
I pull her back in for another kiss, closing my eyes and savoring the moment. It’s been four years since someone has kissed me like this. Samantha’s hands cup the back of my neck and she sighs. Then she tugs at my t-shirt and I freeze in surprise. Are we doing this now?
“Take it off,” she whispers with authority. I chuckle a little nervously.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I wasn’t expecting to dive into sex so quickly, especially after such a serious conversation, but I can’t complain. As I remove my t-shirt, Samantha’s hungry eyes take in my bare torso. She dips her head to kiss it and I lay back on the bed to allow her. She clambers on top of me, peppering me with light kisses. Then, she surprises me by biting me gently, tugging at my skin. I gasp and she smiles smugly.
“That’s for being an ass,” she tells me. I chuckle as she continues to kiss my chest and shoulders, my heart racing.
“I’ll take it.”
She snakes up my body to kiss my lips again. My hands find her hips, but her dressing gown is getting in the way. I’m about to take off the robe for her, but she gets there first. She strips it off confidently, leaving herself entirely naked on top of me. I can’t help gasping. It’s a bold move, especially from her. I reach out to cup her perfect breasts, my thumb brushing against her nipples. She bites her lip as she moves in for another kiss. I pinch her nipple to make her squirm, then grab her hips and throw her down on the bed.
I tower over her naked body as I unbuckle my jeans. She watches with a sultry gaze as I slip them off, leaving me only in my boxers. She gets on her knees without a word, pulling down my boxers and releasing my cock. She groans in pleasure as she sees what I’ve been hiding all this time.
“Damn,” she purrs, taking it in her hand. I almost shudder, not used to being touched so intimately, but I don’t want her to stop. She uses her hand to gratify me for a few moments, before lowering her mouth to my cock and slipping it in.
I don’t even try to be quiet. I moan as she pleasures me. She moves quickly, but without rushing, taking me deep into her mouth. I forgot what it’s like to feel this good. She grabs my ass with one hand and encourages me to thrust into her mouth, picking up the pace. She moans as I do, the vibrations at the back of her throat making the moment even more sensual.
As she’s pleasuring me, my hands find her breasts and start playing her nipples. She moans even more, pulling me in closer and thrusting me deeper into her mouth. I grip her hair with my spare hand, unable to get enough of this beautiful woman. She looks up and make eye contact with me, working my cock with her eyes full of mischief. I gasp in pleasure. I can’t remember the last time I felt so aroused, so desperate to have someone. Now, Samantha’s reminding me why I used to love this so much.
I suddenly can’t take it anymore. I know I need to have her. I push her back on to the bed. She looks surprised for a moment, but then a smile plays on her lips. She knows what’s coming next. She shuffles to reach her purse where she finds a condom and passes it to me.
When I’m done sheathing my cock, Samantha casually lays her hands above her head and I pin her down with one hand, grabbing her slim hips with the other. Her eyes meet mine as I move inside her, thrusting gently at first, but quickly picking up the pace. Samantha has no interest in being quiet. She moans loudly, biting her lip and enjoying the moment. I move one hand to her breast, massaging it tenderly. Samantha struggles against my grip on her wrists so I let go and she sits up, turning over so she’s on all fours.
“Please,” she begs. The gesture in itself is enough to get me hot and bothered. I move closer to her, massaging her ass as I get myself into position. Then, I enter her once again. She’s moaning even louder now, more breathless with each thrust I give to her. I spank her ass lightly and she moans in pleasure. I never would have expected Samantha to be so wild and free in the bedroom, but I love this side to her. It’s hot that the things I’m doing please her.
“Faster, babe,” she whispers mid-moan. I give her what she’s asked for and she gasps.
I’m close to finishing, so I slow down to make it last longer. Samantha seems to understand and holds back her demands. As I speed up again, though, her cries become more intense. I’m hot and close to coming, but I don’t ever want this to end. However, as I finish, so does she, squirming beneath me as the orgasm washes over me. I blow my load with a gasp, panting heavily as I finish up. But I’m not done. I turn Samantha over. She is still sweating and panting from her first orgasm. I kiss her breasts, lowering myself between her legs. She gasps as I part her legs and begin to pleasure her with my tongue. I start off with subtle, slow movements, but Samantha quickly makes it clear that she wants more. I flick her clit with my tongue several times to get her in the mood and she closes her eyes, lying back and allowing me to work some magic. I can’t help smiling to myself as I continue.
Tonight is going to be a good night.