Chapter 24
SAMANTHA
I wake with my body aching and a gorgeous man lying in bed next to me. I stretch my arms with a smile to myself. I’m feeling a little sore today, but it was totally worth it for the antics of last night. I snuggle in close to Weston, sighing happily.
I know last night was a bit of a mess. I know I was quick to forgive Weston. But in all the years when I’ve been cheated and lied to by men, I’ve never had one come and apologize, or try to explain himself. Weston’s apology was clear, concise, and believable. I know now that he’s not the kind of man who would hurt me to try and get ahead. He’s had a broken heart for four years. He knows how to be gentle in love.
He shifts closer to me in his sleep. I wish I could stay like this forever, snuggled up in bed surrounded by a beautiful countryside. But there’s a lot to think about. I have to remind myself that less than twelve hours ago, I was considering running away and starting over again. I have to question what is best for me now. Can I really go home to New Jersey now, with all the reservations I have about being there? Is it possible that I belong here, where this man has managed to capture my heart?
It seems stupid to rush into this, but it feels so right. Despite our rocky start, we click so easily. We’re comfortable around each other. And now, we even know how amazing the sex can be. That’s got to count for something. Just thinking of our steamy session last night makes me blush.
But Weston has let me down before. Was last night enough to make me forget the things he said? He’s a man on the edge, uncertain of what he wants. What if he decides sooner or later that what he wants is anything, but the pair of us together? He’s talked so much about risk the past few days. He doesn’t want to risk a relationship falling apart, but he doesn’t want to risk being alone either. He wants the world, but he’s unwilling to work for it. At least, that’s the impression he gives. So am I enough to change his mind about that, or will we stay in this limbo, having passionate sex and meaningful moments whilst also pushing each other further apart?
I know I need trust in him to make this work, but I’m all out of trust right now. Colin saw to that. And even though I told Weston he was forgiven, have I really moved on so fast? Or will I spend my days consumed by jealousy?
I guess there’s only one way to find out - dive into this head first.
It’s a while before Weston wakes up. When he does, I’m propped up on my pillow reading the book I brought with me. He groans needily, tugging me closer to him by my waist. I laugh, kissing his forehead.
“Morning, sleepy-head.”
“Morning,” he replies with a dopey, tired smile. He sighs in content. “Last night...last night was fucking amazing.”
I put down my book and snuggle under the duvet with Weston. “I know. I’ve been thinking about it all morning.”
Weston raises his eyebrow with a sexy smile, pushing a strand of hair behind my ears. “Oh, really?”
“Really.”
“Well, maybe we could recreate it this morning too,” he murmurs, moving in to nibble on my lip. It’s a tempting offer, and it’s almost enough to take my mind off of what I want to talk about. Almost. I pull away from him and he looks genuinely hurt that I’ve moved away. I get out of bed and put on my discarded bathrobe.
“Okay...what’s going on?”
I fix him a hard stare. “Weston, we need to talk.”
Weston swallows, looking worried. “Did I do something wrong? Because if I did, please tell me what it is. I just want to make it better…”
I feel a little bad for attacking him this way. He’s obviously got a million thoughts running through his mind about what he’s done wrong. I decide to put him out of his misery, sitting on the bed beside him.
“It’s not that, I promise. I just...I need some clarity about us. About where this is going. Because I can’t go into this half-heartedly. I leave in a few days…”
“Looks like you were planning on leaving much sooner than that,” Weston says, nodding solemnly at my packed suitcase. I sigh, closing my eyes.
“I was angry and upset last night. I had a million crazy thoughts going through my mind. I thought I’d never see you again.” I pause, sighing. “I know it’s way too soon to be asking these questions like ‘where are we?’ and all that...but I can’t leave here not knowing. I need clarity. It’s taken a lot for me to trust you, and I don’t know whether this was just a bit of fun to you, but it meant something to me.”
Weston blinks in surprise at my outburst. I’m breathing heavily, my heart thudding against my ribcage. I’ve never had to bear my soul like this before. I’ve never been in such a complicated romance. I guess it will be worth it, though, if this works out. I wait expectantly for Weston to speak. He clears his throat.
“Look, I understand. And you’re right. It is too soon to be talking about our future...but I don’t want you to go.” Weston reaches over and takes my hand. “And you don’t have to. Eric goes back to school next week. We’ll have a lot of time to spend together. You can stay with us for as long as you feel you want to. You could take the spare room at the start if it makes you feel better. Or I can pay for this hotel room if you prefer. We can take it at whatever pace you want. What I’m saying is I’m game for anything. I want to be with you, and that’s all there is to it. I want to explore our possibilities.” Weston squeezes my hand. “I don’t know if that’s what you were expecting...but please don’t go back to New Jersey. Not yet. See what we can make in our time here together. Take control.”
His plea leaves me breathless. Of course, I want to accept his offer. I want to stay here and be with him and Eric, and even Madeline. But what will everyone back home think? Am I rushing into this too fast? Are Weston and me a flickering candle about to be extinguished at any moment?
Maybe we are. The question is, do I care? Or do I want to give myself blindly to this moment?
I move to kiss Weston on the lips. He seems to relax beneath my touch, cupping my face as he kisses me back. When we pull apart, he rests his head against mine.
“I’m so grateful for you, Samantha. I never expected to feel this good again.” He pulls me closer, snuggling into my neck. “You’re just perfect. And I don’t want to hold back from you. I want to give you everything I have. But I have to ask you to be patient with me too. I’ve been building up to a moment like this for four years. I don’t know how much I can handle.”
I stroke the back of Weston’s head. “I know. And I know we’re both healing from loves that broke us. I know I can never match up to Cheryl. But I hope I can make you happy.”
He kisses my cheek. “I know you can.”
We lie together for a long time, saying very little and just holding one another. It’s a reminder of what it’s like to love. It’s a reminder that I can be happy, even when my heart is still mending. And it’s a reminder that the best is yet to come.