Chapter Twenty-Eight
Sawyer
The cops came and took our statements. There wasn’t much I could say. Waldo had no clue; he hadn’t noticed it in the stack. Basically, we had zilch. Sitting on the couch, I held my cup of decaffeinated tea and tried not to get overly freaked out. The scent of warm lemons coming from the tea helped soothe me.
The fact that someone had taken the time to cut up little letters from the newspaper and use them to threaten my life sent chills through me. I knew from working with Kurt that this had happened to the band, but it was not cool at all. From what they discussed tonight, past girlfriends of band members normally got threats quickly, but it was through the fan-mail site. This had gone to my home address, which wasn’t public knowledge. The creep factor was at an all-time high and had me a little on edge.
By the way Kurt rubbed his neck and occasionally popped his knuckles, it was clear he was stressed. I took another calming sip of my tea. Maybe I shouldn’t have insisted Kurt go and talk with security when they asked for him. The nerves grew the longer I sat alone. If I called Knoah or my brother, they would know something was up and Kurt would get a call. Right now, he needed to focus on making sure we were safe. I touched my stomach. All is going to be okay. Daddy is going to take care of it.
“Knock. Knock.”
I smiled as Nina walked up the stairs in her jeans and a cute off-the-shoulder sweater, holding a white box with a pink bow. Her clothes were off the charts—edgy yet classy. Setting my cup of tea on the table, I said, “Hey, Nina. Come on in.”
“These just arrived. I told Kurt I would keep you company while he talked to security.”
Thank goodness. Nina would help keep my mind off everything. “Oh, what’s in the box?”
When she opened the box, the smell of mint and sugar wafted through the air. “Are those?”
“Mint chocolate chip cupcakes!” Nina plucked one out of the box. They were adorable, with little edible pearls perfectly arranged on top.
I took the offered cupcake, peeled back the paper, and took a bite. Around a mouthful, I said, “Oh, I love you to the ends of the earth. Stressful times call for sugar. Do you want one?”
“Umm…yes.” Giggling, we sat on the couch. Nina moaned as she chewed. “These are amazing.”
Thunder rolled in the background. The forecast called for sporadic rain. I felt better just having another person here with me. I needed to remain strong. If I freaked out, it wouldn’t be good for the baby or Kurt. The security team knew how to handle these types of situations.
“I heard about what happened. It’s terrible.” Nina’s comment pulled me out of my thoughts.
An image of the note popped into my mind. “Definitely not on my repeat list.”
“Mine, either.” Nina’s emerald eyes had a far-off look.
For the past few weeks, no one talked about Nina and Edge, but the sexual tension between them was off the charts. So I’d resorted to my good friend, Google. They’d been hot and heavy for a year. And then they weren’t. No explanation. No statement. Nothing. Curiosity got the best of me. Even though Kurt had told me to stay out of it, I had to ask. “This happened when you dated Edge?”
“Did Kurt or Edge tell you?”
Hurt flashed across her face, and I reached for her hand. “No, honest. I asked Kurt, and he told me to stay out of it. So instead, I googled.” My cheeks heated in embarrassment at the admission. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have. It’s just I’ve felt a strong connection between you and Edge. I’m sorry.” To hopefully ease her stress, I wanted her to know what I’d found. “There wasn’t much. You guys were together, then you weren’t. Nothing else.”
Putting her half-eaten cupcake on the table, she took a deep breath. “That pretty much sums it up.”
If Nina shut me down, I would consider the subject closed. But I wanted to understand what she experienced with the threat. “Can I ask what happened?”
Her eyes grew watery, and my heart squeezed. I understood pain when it involved someone so close yet so far out of reach. “You don’t have to tell me, Nina. When you alluded to being threatened, too, I just…wanted to know, I guess. But I shouldn’t have pushed.”
“Oh, I thought you meant what happened between Edge and me. Sorry.” Something about the way she fidgeted with her sweater told me Nina wanted to talk about this.
I grabbed the folded afghan from the end of the couch and pulled it up over my lap. “Nina, it’s none of my business. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.”
The doors opened and Kurt came up the steps, concern on his face. His shoulders were stiff. It warmed me how his eyes shot to mine and then to my stomach. I had to keep myself from touching the baby with Nina there, but it was hard. “How are you doing?”
I had to remain strong. Kurt would keep us safe. “I’m better. Thank you for the cupcakes.”
“Anything for you, baby. It may be a bit longer. We’re updating some protocols. It may take some time, and I need to be there. But I don’t want to leave you if you need me.”
If I had my choice, I preferred Kurt to stay with me. But this was important and needed to be done. And going with Kurt would only freak me out more.
Nina chimed in, “I’ll stay and keep Sawyer company if she wants.”
“Oh, that would be awesome. Thank you. See, we’ll have some girl time and some sugar. You can go take care of the psychopath.”
Kurt gave me a quick kiss. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“I’ll be fine. Promise.”
Kurt glanced back as he stepped off the bus. Hopefully things wrapped up soon.
“It’s sweet how Kurt is with you. He’s so different.”
To me, Kurt had always been this way. “How so?”
Shrugging, she picked up her cupcake. At least the tension from earlier seemed to be gone. “He’s always been kind, funny, and easygoing, but for the first time, I feel like I’m seeing the real Kurt. It’s like he’s relaxed and allowing himself to be happy.”
“I’m glad. I know he makes me incredibly happy.” Again, the urge to cover the baby came over me, but I remembered myself.
Nina grew silent and played with a piece of her short red hair. After a few minutes, she said, “Maybe it would help. I haven’t told anyone.”
“What would help?”
“Edge and I had been getting wilder in the bedroom, trying more things. He’s addictive like that. Before I met him, I’d never slept with anyone. Classic story of virgin meets bad boy and falls in love.”
Oh my gosh. It took me a second to catch up to the sudden switch in gears. “What happened?”
“We…umm…we thought we should try a threesome.”
I waited with bated breath as Nina got her thoughts together. Maybe once I heard the story, I’d be able to help. It was obvious there was still something between them.
Nina massaged her temples. “We were drunk at a party—like, really drunk. Another couple propositioned us for a foursome. I thought Edge wanted to experiment with it, so I agreed. I never really wanted it. Things got out of control. Our one rule was no penetration. But it was dark, and like I said, we were drunk. We got separated and switched couples. The man was all over me, but I just couldn’t do it. I pushed him off and found Edge. The girl had her legs wrapped around him, and he thrust into her. It was over.”
It broke my heart as Nina fell to pieces. I scooted over and held her while she cried. “Tonight is definitely going to call for ice cream.”
She gave a sad laugh. “Yeah, it will.” After her tears subsided, she continued, “Edge swears he thought it was me. I heard him say my name. For months, he tried to get me back, but I couldn’t wipe the image from my mind. I got scared and just pushed him away.”
“Do you believe him?”
“At the time, I felt betrayed and scared. But, yes, I believe him. I don’t think he’d lie to me. Edge never lied. He’s not that way.”
The raw pain in her voice spurred something within me. I wanted to help right this terrible wrong.
But I had to make sure this was something she wanted. “Do you want him back?”
“Too much time has passed. Edge fucks his way through every city. It’s been over for a while.”
That’s not a no.
“Why do you stay with the band?”
“Because it’s an amazing job with the pay to match. Edge and I have a truce. I don’t see him for fittings. My assistant does everything for him. To everyone else, we keep up the pretense that all is long and gone. But for me, it’s just a show. It still hurts.”
Because she loves him.
It was time for a change of subject. Now that I knew the backstory, I would keep my eyes open for an opportunity. And at some point, one would present itself. “How about that ice cream?”
“That would be amazing. Do you have fudge?”
“Umm, hello? Emotional eater here. Of course I have fudge.”
We laughed, silently agreeing to steer the conversation to lighter topics.
* * *
A couple of hours later, I was nearly ready for bed when there was a knock. Nina had left about twenty minutes earlier, and soon we’d be pulling out. To pass more time, I read the latest market statistics of our tour. “Lost” and the newest album continued to be well received.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
I nearly jumped out of my skin, and I looked at the door. It was Edge. I hit the unlock button and opened the door. “You nearly scared me to death. Come on in.”
“Sorry, I know it’s been tough. How are you holding up?”
“Good. Is Kurt almost done?” I was ready to be in his arms and know everything would be okay.
Edge ran his hands through his hair, looking tired. “He’s almost done. He got your text that Nina left. I’m going to keep you company until he’s done.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary.” Though part of me wanted someone to be here, it seemed selfish to ask someone to stay.
“It’ll make Kurt feel better, if that’s okay with you. You can go to bed, and I can just wait out here.”
Maybe this was my opportunity. I figured I might as well test the waters. “You want a cupcake and a beer?”
“Sure.”
We took a seat on the couch. Edge devoured nearly the whole cupcake in one bite and then took a swig of his beer. The direct approach would be the best way to learn what I needed to know. If I caught him off guard, I might get the truth.
“So…do you still love Nina?”
Edge nearly choked on his beer. “Where the fuck did that come from?”
I pressed on. Kurt will not approve. “Just give me an honest answer.”
Edge leaned forward, his brown eyes intent. “Did she say something to you?”
“Maybe.”
His eyes lightened, and his face lost some of its stress. “What did she say, Sawyer?”
“Answer me first.” I raised my eyebrow.
Blowing out a breath, he seemed pained to say it out loud. “Yes. I never stopped.”
Now I was irritated and wanted to slap him upside the head. “Then why have you been fucking your way through the different cities?”
“I haven’t.”
Wait. Did I hear him correctly? “What?”
He leaned back and threw his arms behind his head. “For fuck’s sake, it’s a show. I haven’t slept with anyone since Nina…well, since we were together. It’s a long story.”
“I know the long story.”
That got his attention. He bolted upright. “She told you? Sawyer, I swear, I thought it was Nina. They looked a lot alike. I was so fucked out of my mind. I remembered pulling away from the bitch, and she fucking convinced me she was Nina. I woke up the next morning, and Nina was gone. I only have pieces of that night.”
The pieces began to fall into place. “That’s why she doesn’t go to clubs anymore, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. I never wanted the threesome. I thought she did, so I went with it.”
Both had wanted to make the other happy. “Do you want her back? For real? Don’t say yes if you’re not serious.”
There was no hesitation. “More than anything.”
“I’m going to try and help you. I think there’s hope.”
Edge stood, paced a few steps, and then stopped in front of me. “Are you fucking with me right now, Sawyer? I can’t handle it if you are.”
“I swear. Not at all. I have one more question, and you better not say a word if you want my help.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okaaay. What is it?”
I stood and met Edge’s stare. Most women probably backed down from this intense rocker. Good thing I knew he had a gooey center or I might have, too. “You cannot tell Nina.”
“Fine. What is it?”
“Did you know Nina was a virgin when you slept with her?”
“What. The. Fuck.” Shock was clear on his face. Then it was replaced with fear. “The stuff I did to her. Shit. Sawyer, I need to find her.”
I grabbed his arm. “You can’t. You’ll piss away your chance. And you promised.”
Even with my warning, he took a few steps. Panicked, I yelled. “You’ll lose her! It’ll embarrass her.”
Edge grabbed his hair behind his head. “I’m so stupid. I knew she wasn’t experienced. And she was tight, but there was no blood.”
Ugh, more details than I need. I tried to wave it off, but he ignored me and kept talking. “When I asked her, she said it had been awhile. A long while. I believed her. Shit!”
Get this back on track. “You’re going to need to romance her, Edge. Show her what she means to you. And she’s going to push you away, but you’ll have to stay the course.”
“What? I know nothing about that shit.”
I touched Edge’s shoulder and smiled. “And that’s why I’m going to help you. Let me get a plan together. But you have to calm down and act normal. Otherwise you’ll blow it.”
“You’d do that?”
I dropped my hand and leaned against the couch. Fatigue had ebbed its way in. “Yeah, of course. You guys are family.”
Kurt climbed the steps at the front of the bus, exhaustion written all over his face.
“How’d it go?”
Without pausing, he pulled me to him, his hand resting on my stomach. “Security is going to get tighter, and we’re going to limit access backstage.”
“I hate that you’re going through all this for me.”
Both men pinned me with a stare. Edge’s was surprisingly irritated. “We protect our family, Sawyer. And you and the baby are family.”
Even Kurt was taken back for a second at Edge’s declaration.
Edge continued, “Anyway, enough with the sappy shit. I’m going to hit the hay. Night, guys.”
“Night, Edge,” we said in unison.
Kurt took my hand. “I want to lose myself in you.”
“Please.”
He led me back to the bedroom where he slowly pulled off my shirt. “I’m going to protect you, Sawyer. You and our baby.”
His hands found the top of my pajama pants, and he slid them down my legs.
“I know you will. Now make love to me.”
“With pleasure.”