Chapter Twenty
Kurt
What. The. Fuck.
I stared at Sawyer as she finished her story. My chest was heavy as she told it. Here I thought my childhood had been shit. At least I existed to my mom. “Is there anything else?”
“No. You’re the only person who knows everything. Well, beside Cameron and my parents. When Nan was alive, she knew, too. She was the neighbor who watched us. She was really special. Then one day, she died unexpectedly.”
I felt Sawyer slipping away. “Come here.”
“What?”
I stood and held out my hand. “Come with me.”
Tentatively, she took my hand, and I led her back to our bedroom. I pulled her onto the bed with me and wrapped my arms around her. She liked it when I held her close at night. And right now, she needed to feel safe. “No one deserves to be treated like that. Accidents happen, baby. You didn’t kill them.”
“Cameron says the same thing. When I was growing up, my parents were basically absent from our lives. At least we had Nan.” The distant sadness in her voice just wasn’t going to do.
I put my finger under her chin to make sure she was looking me in the eye. “It’s true. I’m sorry, but your parents are assholes. What I saw today will not happen again.”
“What?” Her brow wrinkled in confusion. “Kurt, you don’t understand. This could go on for years. But at some point, it’ll pass when they work through it.”
Like hell it was. Sawyer would not endure years of suffering. No way.
Anger bubbled up inside me, but I worked to tamp it down. “I’m serious, Sawyer. They are not going to treat you like that. That was…I won’t allow it.”
She snuggled into me, and her sniffle ripped my fucking heart out. It was killing me to not go over there and give those shitheads a piece of my mind. How could her mother do this? I had a shitty father. I got shitty fathers. My mom had been sick, but she loved me. They had an amazing daughter who loved unconditionally and had an endless amount of forgiveness. After how badly I’d messed up with her, the fact that she was in my arms right now was proof.
I needed Sawyer’s agreement. “As far as I’m concerned, they aren’t part of our lives unless they get their heads out of their asses.”
With a hand to my chest, Sawyer pulled back and searched my eyes. “What do you think I should do?”
“Block their numbers. If they have something to say, they’ll have to go through Cameron. I’m sure he’s going to be pissed when he hears about what I saw. Or hell, I dare them to contact me.”
She looked down. “Yeah, he will be. Do you mind telling him? I really don’t want to relive it.”
“Yeah, baby, I will.”
For another minute, she was quiet while she considered her options. Then she said, “I’ll block their numbers. And if they do want to talk to me, they can go through Cameron or you.”
That was my strong girl. Picking herself up and moving forward. “I think that’s a good decision.” I thought about my next step. So far, Sawyer seemed open to no secrets between us. When one of us was curious, we asked and figured out a way to find a middle ground. It worked for us. “Is Mattie the reason you don’t want kids?”
“Yeah, she was my world. When she was a baby, I remember helping during the night with her feedings and changings. I loved that little girl. I was only ten, but I cared for her. I was there when she took her first steps. When she was sick, I took care of her.” She stopped to pull herself together, and I fell harder for this woman and her strength.
I got off the bed and held out my hand. “I get it. I really do. I want to show you something.”
“What is it?” she asked as she came to me.
“Close your eyes.”
Without hesitation, she closed them and put her hand out. Trust. She gave me all her trust without asking for anything in return. And I would be the partner she deserved.
I let her out into the hallway and was amazed to find Waldo had been able to pull it off so fast. He’d been stealthy in the setup. “Wait here.”
I grabbed the single calla lily from the table and walked back over. “Open your eyes.”
Sawyer opened them and saw the table set with her favorite pizza and a tub of ice cream. “You mean a lot to me, Sawyer. More than I can openly admit right now. It scares the shit out of me, but you’re worth it. You’re worth everything and more than I could ever give you.”
She turned to me, her eyes filled with happiness. Mentally, I sighed with relief. This romantic shit was tough. I cleared my throat and handed her the calla lily. I was about to jump off into pansy-ass land, but she needed to know how special she was to me. I cleared my throat again, nervous as hell. Hell, I could write songs without any issues, but talking about my feelings was fucking hard.
“The calla lily symbolizes magnificence and beauty. My mom always had them on the table when she was having a rough time to remind her of what the world had to offer. Though as individuals we’re flawed and have a past, I think together we can tempt perfection to happen for us.”
Without another word, she threw her arms around me. “Thank you. You deserve this, too.”
For once, I believed Sawyer might be right.
* * *
After dinner, Sawyer was wiped. I wanted to bury myself balls deep in her, but she needed sleep after the long, emotional day. Son of a bitch, I wanted to beat her father within an inch of his life. His dead eyes reminded me of my father. Fucking waste of space.
I slipped out of bed, threw on my pants, and grabbed George from his dog bed. For good measure, I snagged one of his balls, too. “Let’s go out one more time, buddy.”
I grabbed my phone and quietly exited the bus. There was a patch of grass not too far off to the side. I hit Cameron’s number and paced as I waited for him to answer.
“Hey, man. I hear congrats are in order.”
“Thanks. We need to talk.”
There was a pause. “Oh, shit. What happened? Is Sawyer okay?”
“Yeah, she is now. Your parents happened. I took Sawyer to see them, and apparently, they’ve regained their asshole status. Sawyer told me everything.”
“Oh fuck. Are you serious? Shit. Why didn’t she call me?” Cameron’s voice grew louder, and I could feel his anger over the phone.
Good, he’s on Sawyer’s side.
“She asked me to. I don’t think it’s something she wants to go through again.”
I threw the ball a few feet for George to chase. In my spare time, I’d been working on training George. Sawyer had no idea.
A door opened and closed on the other side of the line. “Tell me everything.”
I launched into the story, not leaving out any of the details.
On the other end, Cameron sighed. “I can’t believe they’re doing this again. When they did this before, I made sure to be there with Sawyer to help be a buffer whenever she insisted on trying to be normal with them. Then out of the blue, they changed and pretended they hadn’t treated Sawyer like she didn’t exist for years. I pushed them for answers but never got anywhere. Finally, Sawyer asked me to stop. I knew she was afraid they would change back if they were pushed too hard.”
At least she’d had someone in her life to protect her. “Well, it’s not going to keep happening. Sawyer agreed to all of this. She’s blocking their numbers. If they want to talk, they can reach out to you or me. I have no problem dealing with them. I have a few things I’d like to say to them.”
“Did you talk to them this afternoon?”
George brought the ball back. I gripped it hard in my fist before tossing it. “No. I needed the details first, and having a showdown with them was not going to put Sawyer’s best interest first. And she is my priority.”
“You two are that serious already?”
“I think you know as well as I do that we’ve been serious about each other since November. I was too much of a pussy to admit it.”
“At least you’re honest.” He chuckled.
It irritated me that I’d been too scared to be there for Sawyer the way I should have been. At least I was now. I pressed on, making sure Cameron was crystal fucking clear about where I stood on this. “They may have been able to pull this shit before, but I will rain hell down on them if they try to fuck with my girl. And I hope you’ll stand by me if they do.”
“Of course. I’ll call them and see if I can figure out what’s happening.”
“Thanks, Cameron. And just so you know, I’m serious about Sawyer. Very serious.”
“Good, because if you break her heart, I’ll rain hell down on you.”
“I would expect nothing less. Good talk, Cameron. Call me if you find anything out.”
“Same here. Thanks, Kurt. I’m glad Sawyer has you.”
“I’m glad I have her.”
I ended the call and ran my fingers through my hair. “Sit, George.”
Without pause, he sat. When Sawyer decided it was time to train him, she was going to think he was the smartest dog ever. I couldn’t wait.
“Down, George.”
He lay down on the grass at my feet.
“Good boy. Let’s go to bed.”