Chapter Thirty-Five
Sawyer
The tour was a whirlwind, and over too quickly.
It was the night of the last concert. The next day we would fly home. It was surreal. I looked at the bus, our home away from home, as I pressed a filled-out sticky label onto the box.
“I think the movers are coming tomorrow,” Kurt said from the doorway, scratching his head in the most adorable way.
Of course, I knew that. I’d arranged it. I rested my hands on my stomach. “I just figured I would get some of it ready.” I sighed as I looked around.
“What’s wrong?”
A sense of nostalgia washed over me. “It’s just this place. It’s been our home for the last three months. It’s where we got together and found out about the baby. I’m kind of sad to be leaving it.”
Kurt placed his hands on my stomach. We were anxiously awaiting being able to feel the baby kick. I thought there had been the flutters, but it was hard to tell.
“Sawyer?” Edge stormed up the stairs with panic written all over his face.
Oh no! Something had happened. Edge never looked scared. “What’s wrong?”
“I had sex. I have fucked this up so bad.” His pants and shirt were askew as though he’d run straight from the bed.
Did he cheat? I was going to kick his ass and feed him to George if he had. “Who’d you have sex with? If you cheated, so help me…”
George sat in front of me and growled. As the pregnancy advanced, George had become more protective of me.
Edge put his hand out. “Easy, boy.” Then he looked at me with an exasperated face. “Nina, of course. You told me to hold off, and I planned to. Then I crumbled. A man can only resist for so long.”
Thank goodness. I relaxed, releasing my pent-up breath, and George’s growl disappeared. Cautiously, I asked. “And she was ready?”
“Why the fuck do you think I gave in? She made me.” Edge combed through his hair and paced. I wanted to giggle. “Sawyer, I have followed everything you said to a T. And we’re together. And happy. Please tell me I can salvage this. I cannot fuck this up.”
“Then it was time to have sex.”
He stopped. “What?”
“When you feel so overwhelmed you have to have each other, it’s time.” I shrugged like this was common sense.
Grabbing my shoulders, he looked me square in the eye. Kurt quietly commanded George to heel. “You mean—I—it’s not over?”
“Where is Nina now?”
“In bed, asleep. I had to figure out how to fix this before she woke up.”
Oh man. I felt bad for poor Edge. He’d had to be in a panic when he woke up. I was pretty sure his shirt was on backward.
“It might be over between you guys if she wakes up and you’re not there. Get back to her.”
I’d barely finished my sentence before Edge ran. Calling after him, I said, “Take those donuts Frank brought us this morning. It’ll be breakfast in bed.”
“You are seriously the best!” Edge yelled.
Through the windows, we watched Edge dart to the next bus. “Geez, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him move that fast.”
I put my hand on my hip. “I think this makes me the winner.”
“You did it. You really did. What nursery theme did you want to do for the baby’s room?”
Tapping my fingers to my chin, I considered my options. “I was thinking ponies—and maybe circus animals. It’ll be so cute.”
Kurt’s eyes grew wide. The poor guy was going to break his jaw trying to keep it shut.
“Just kidding. I actually wanted to do vintage guitars. I thought we could use one of Dylan’s as the focal point.”
He stared at me for a second in a disbelieving way. “Meet me at the arena at two.”
That came out of nowhere. “What?”
Kurt kissed me. “Meet me at two.”
“Okay. Where are you going?”
He didn’t say another word as he left. What just happened? I watched out the window as he went to the bus next door. It was a nice size, with three tiny bedrooms, but at least the guys had their own space. Is there something going on with the band? I leaned toward the window like a spy. Yes, I have no shame. None. It looked like Harlem was grumbling as he opened the door and Kurt walked in, talking quickly.
It was only nine in the morning. I guess I’ll find out at two. I picked up the framed photo of Kurt kissing my tummy from the magazine photo shoot. Anna had called the other day to ask if I would consider introducing Dylan to the world with her. If that was the route we decided to take, she’d be the only person we would use.
Thinking about the response our kid had received from Kurt’s fans had been nothing short of amazing—minus a few crazy nuts, of course, who’d said their lives were forever ruined with him off the market. Those ladies needed a serious dose of reality.
People accepted me. Us. The baby.
Life was easier not having to fight negative media battles.
I checked the window again and saw the guys leaving without Edge. What’s going on? I’d almost turned away when I saw Nina and Edge come out next. She was on his back, and the radiant look on her face made me smile. They really were meant to be together.
Not knowing what was happening was going to drive me crazy, so I decided to fill the time organizing and then shower for my two o’clock meeting.
After finishing with nearly all the projects on my to-do list, I changed into some pants and a cute top. Maternity clothes were growing on me. It had taken me awhile to find stuff I liked, but I managed. I stretched and looked at the clock. It was nearly two. I was a little nervous. At lunch, I’d called Kurt; he’d been cryptic but promised me everything was fine.
“Sawyer, are you ready?”
I nearly jumped out of my skin when Edge spoke. With a hand to my heart, I took a deep breath before saying, “Oh my gosh! You scared the shit out of me.”
“Are you okay? You’re not going into labor, are you?” Edge looked panicked.
Rolling my eyes, I laughed. “No, not yet. What’s going on?”
“I’m supposed to bring you to your next destination and give you this from Mr. Pussy.”
The guys were so mushy on the inside. He held out a calla lily, and I smiled. “Thank you.” Then I whispered, “For someone who’s calling my man a pussy, I seem to recall you laying a trail of roses for someone.”
“That shit stays between us.”
“Of course.” I pretended to zip my lips. “Lead the way.”
For the New York City part of the tour, the buses were parked at the stadium. Edge and I walked side by side to the arena. “How are things with Nina?”
“Couldn’t be better. The donuts were a hit. Can I still come to you for help planning things?”
“Of course. I’m thinking babysitting time in exchange for planning. It’ll give Nina baby fever.”
Edge froze. “What?”
“Oh, Edge, I’m just messing with you.”
“Fuck. Don’t do that to me.”
We stopped at the door to the arena. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.”
There was something soft about Edge when I glanced up at him, waiting to see where I was to go next.
Am I supposed to just go in?
“I wanted to thank you for helping me get Nina back in my life. I’m not sure we would have gotten our shit figured out if you hadn’t helped. I mean it; I consider you family.”
I hugged Edge, touched by his words. Being here with the band, I truly felt like I belonged. “Good thing we’re stuck with each other. Who else is going to keep Kurt in line?”
“He’s a lucky man to have you. Thanks, Sawyer.”
“You’re welcome. Thanks for being there for me.”
Nina opened the door from inside the arena. “I’m taking you to your next stop, and I have something for you.”
I took another calla lily and chewed on my lip. This was all part of Kurt’s surprise. Before I spoke, I took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. “Lead the way.”
We walked down the hall and stopped at the nearest corner. “Edge told me everything you did. I’m with the man I’m meant to be with. You’ve made my life brighter by being part of it. Thank you, Sawyer.”
Wow, is it sappy Sawyer day? I blinked rapidly to chase away the tears. “You’re so welcome. I’m glad you got your happily ever after.”
“Me, too.” She hugged me. “I’m so glad Kurt brought you into our lives. Are you ready?”
“Yes.” I knew as long as I had Kurt, I was ready for anything with him. I loved him with my entire heart.
“This is the impact you’ve had by being here. Every person here wanted to tell you something.
We turned the corner, and several members of the crew were there, waiting with a calla lily. I held my hand to my mouth as a tear slid down my cheek. This was more of a family than I’d had in a very long time.
As I took the flower from each person, they hugged and thanked me for something I’d done. I couldn’t help it—the tears flowed. I had no idea how they found out about some things, such as getting Norman new gloves. By the time I got to the end of the row, I had a full bouquet of calla lilies.
I turned. “Wow, I—” My voice caught, and I took a deep breath. “Thank you. I just…you guys mean a lot to me.” I wiped at the tears running down my cheeks. “Baby Hendrix has me all emotional. I blame Kurt.”
Everyone chuckled.
“You guys have come to mean the world to me. We’re not just a band and crew. We’re a family.”
Everyone hooted and hollered their agreement. Harlem touched my shoulder. “He’s waiting on stage for you.”
Kurt was next. Holding the flowers, I walked up the steps to find Kurt standing on stage with one last calla lily.
“I have something for you.”
I ran into his arms, wrapping my free one around him.
“You okay, baby?”
“You’ve made me a blubbering mess.”
“And you jiggled the baby.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes, yes, I did.”
Though we knew I wasn’t really jiggling the baby, we still joked and teased about it. Kurt handed me the last calla lily.
“Thank you. It finishes my bouquet perfectly.”
Without a word, he took the flowers and put them in the vase, albeit a little haphazardly. God, I love this man. Then Kurt turned to me while maintaining a little distance. “When I first met you, I was lost.” He took a step toward me. “But, Sawyer, through all this…” Another step. “Meeting you…” And another. “Becoming roommates…” He was within reach when he continued, “Lovers, parents…somewhere I was no longer lost. I was found, and I fell in love.”
I froze, trying to replay exactly what he’d said. Did I imagine he said love? More and more lately, the word had been on the tip of my tongue, but I held back, wanting Kurt to be ready.
The brilliant smile on Kurt’s face made my lips turn up. “I love you, Sawyer. With my entire being.”
I launched myself into his body and wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love you, too. So much. So, so much!”
Something moved within me, and I gasped, taking a step back and holding my abdomen. Kurt was right there. “What’s wrong? Sawyer? Is the baby okay?”
There was another movement. “Yes. The baby. I think I felt him move.”
Kurt’s hands dropped to my stomach.
There was another little flutter. “Dylan just moved. I can feel him move. Oh my gosh! Our baby is moving!”
This was the most perfect moment imaginable.
I placed Kurt’s hand where there was more movement. “Hey, little guy, it’s your daddy.”
Joy erupted inside me at the baby’s responsive movement. “I think he likes that his daddy told his mommy he loves her.”
“I love your mommy very much. She’s the only person for me. I can’t wait to feel you move. Soon.”
I couldn’t wait for Kurt to be able to feel the baby. There were more flutters. “I wouldn’t want to be on this journey with anyone but you.”
“I have something else for you.” Kurt kissed my lips.
“What? Nothing can top this day.”
Taking my hand, Kurt led me toward the center of the stage, where a solitary barstool had been placed. Kurt led me to it and then picked up his guitar from a nearby stand. “This song is for you. It’s everything I find hard to say, to put into words. It’s called ‘Found’.”
“You wrote me a song?”
“I’ve been working on it for the last two months. This is dedicated to the love of my life. You.”
Those damn tears came back full force, and my throat thickened. Kurt strummed a few chords and began to sing in his soulful, raspy voice. He’d been lost and alone. The darkness surrounded him every step of the way until the woman of his dreams found him. Saved him. Brought him back to life. Showed him how to love.
The chords ended, and he moved the guitar behind him. “Be mine forever?”
“Yes,” I said on a sob. Kurt picked me up, cradling me to him, and kissed me. Hard.
This was perfection, and I didn’t want anything else.