Chapter Thirty-Two
Kurt
I parked the car and looked at Sawyer, who was sleeping peacefully. She was curled in my direction, her hand cupped over her stomach. Our child. Our boy. The moment was perfect. I’d sensed earlier that she’d been about to say I love you. But something had stopped her. I wanted to say it to her, I was sure about how I felt, but it needed to be special. That was the ultimate commitment from me. I love you is as good as forever. I wanted that with Sawyer.
And her parents…her fucking parents. They were insane. I wanted Garrick to have them investigated. It should have been done sooner, but with the baby, the stalker, and just working on us, I hadn’t done it.
Shit.
We still had no leads on who this was except that she was female. Another letter had come yesterday. This one was addressed to me. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. My blood ran cold.
She has to go.
You’re my real beau.
If not she’ll die.
And go bye-bye.
Love,
Your future wife
The childlike simplicity made it creepier. I watched Sawyer. No one’s going to touch her. What a fucking mess. And now I had a baby boy. Knowing his gender made everything real, and not once had I wanted to run. I wanted this. I wanted Sawyer and our baby.
I checked my rearview mirror to make sure the security men were in place. I’d let Sawyer sleep for a bit more. My phone vibrated, giving me a welcomed distraction.
Edge: Seriously, man. Is Sawyer fucking with me?
I chuckled.
Me: You not enjoying bread and water?
Edge: Fuck you, man. I’m going out of my mind.
Me: Is what Sawyer’s doing working?
Edge: Yeah.
Me: Then I would listen to her.
Edge: I hate you.
Me: Kisses and cuddles.
Edge: Asshole.
She stirred and stretched. “Where are we?”
I put my phone away. “Cocoa Beach cemetery.”
Sawyer looked around outside, slow to react. “Okay…”
I grabbed the bag from the back seat and took a deep breath. Knoah was the only other person who knew about this. “This is something I do every year. It’s Dylan’s birthday. So I sit and have a drink while I tell him about what’s going on.”
Sawyer reached out her hand, her eyes going soft like they always did. “I didn’t expect you to bring me or tell me. This is special and personal.”
“I know, but I want you here.” That was the truth. Having Sawyer here, knowing I could share this with her, made it more bearable.
“There’s no place I’d rather be.”
There was something else I needed to tell her—wanted to tell her. “You know the tattoo on my chest?”
“Yes.”
“That’s the first bar of music we ever wrote together.”
Her face lit up. “That’s so special. You’ll always have him with you.”
It meant the world to me. “Yeah. Are you ready?”
“Go spend time with Dylan. I’ll be there in a bit. I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on.”
This woman was my everything. She got me in ways I didn’t realize. “I won’t be long.”
“Take your time.”
I got out of the car with the bag and scrubbed a hand down my face. Here goes nothing. Dylan’s grave stood on top of a hill. Two small headstones were next to him for the two babies Knoah had lost. I sat down and poured two drinks. Coke and bourbon had been our drink of choice when we went out.
I took a drink before I said, “Miss you, buddy. Miss you more than I ever fucking imagined.” I took another deep breath. Man, this never got easy. Every year, it was like something heavy on my chest. “I kept my promise and watched after your girl. Knoah’s happy—she’s found a good man. He loves her like you’d want her to be loved. I know she’s been here a few times, asking you to watch after her other baby.”
My throat grew a little tight. “The band is still at the top. We’ve been on tour across America. Man, it’s all we dreamed of and more. I wish you were here. You know the band was my life during a very dark time with my mom. I wish I’d told you everything. You knew some, but not the terrible.”
I chuckled. “You were right, you know. When I met the right girl, everything changed. And I’m going to be a dad. We’re having a boy. I’m scared, Dylan. Really fucking scared I’m going to hurt Sawyer like my dad hurt me. But I can’t imagine my life without her. I want a life together. I haven’t told her this, but I love her.”
I lifted my glass toward the headstone. “Cheers, Dylan. You saved my life in more ways than you’ll ever know.”
I sat in silence for a few minutes, reflecting on times past. It was a hell of a time. The late nights spent writing music, sleeping in our car in a pit stop because we were low on funds, and simply being best friends.
I waved Sawyer up. She walked up the hill and kneeled beside me. I would be glad when I could see her stomach more. It was a reminder that things weren’t so bad.
“This is Sawyer, the mother of my son.”
Her eyes got teary, and she tucked her dark hair behind her ear before speaking softly. “Knoah’s told me a lot about you. I would have liked to have met you.” She touched her stomach. “Maybe we could name our baby boy Dylan.”
I froze and stared at her face. It was the perfect name. More perfect than she could have ever imagined. It would be the biggest honor I could have given the man who’d helped me from being too jaded at the world to love Sawyer. “You mean it?”
“Yes. I think it’s a sign that we found out we were having a boy on Dylan’s birthday. It’s a way for us to never forget him.”
Yes, I loved this woman with my whole fucking heart.