Timeless Tales
There was more to them than what they knew
It was a love deserved only by a few.
But despite that knowledge, he closed his eyes.
Over the chance he chose goodbyes.
Kingston
I needed a drink.
No, I needed an entire bottle of whisky to help me numb the tornado of chaos uprooting everything.
She was driving me insane.
She was ripping my life into pieces once again, and I was failing to keep it together.
I had every reason to treat her the way I wanted to, to ignore her, break apart her ego and her actions, but every time I tried, I ended up hurting myself.
Seeing her in pain, seeing her broken did the same to me.
And I hated it.
I hated how deeply I felt her, how deeply this demented connection ran. Even after so long, I could still sense the change in her heartbeats, could still feel the emotions swirling in her golden eyes. That was the very reason I hadn’t cornered her today when I’d had the chance. It was this very goddamn emotion why I couldn’t just let her go every time she screwed up.
I paced through the breadth of my office, fighting the battle within, trying to wrap my head around this madness. I had a very important video conference call in fifteen minutes, and my head was messed up.
My drawings were nowhere near as perfect I needed them to be. The architects had sent me the blueprints this morning, but I hadn’t been able to make the few changes I wanted the blueprint to showcase.
It was all her fault. She’d stolen my calm and made me go crazy.
I paced back and forth, walking away from the blueprints I was working on, trying but monumentally failing to get my head away from thoughts of her.
It seemed like an impossible task.
I still couldn’t believe I’d walked back into that conference room to be a part of her presentation, after what had happened.
After my outburst and the fury of emotions she’d unlocked within me, all I’d wanted to do was fire her and shove her out of my life.
No, that wasn’t true.
When she’d goaded me and cornered me, she’d not only unleashed my subdued rage, she’d also awoken my lust.
Her confidence, her old attitude and ways, how she’d pulled out the deepest of my thoughts had, oddly, turned me on more than made me angry.
I’d wanted to keep walking toward her instead of walking out. I’d wanted to grab her by her crazy head of hair and shove her into the wall and kiss the arrogance out of her. I’d wanted to tear her clothes apart and push her to her knees. I’d wanted to shove my cock into her mouth and make her gag on every angry word she’d dared to say to me as though she were the injured party. With every thrust, I wanted her to grip my thighs and moan around my cock. I wanted to see her eyes wet with tears as I punished her for coming back into my life so casually, for pretending our past hadn’t happened. I wanted to push her naked body over the conference table and fuck her so hard that she would beg, beg me to forgive her for what she’d said, beg me to—
I was losing my mind.
For the first time in so long, I had no control over myself. Every part of me was tainted by thoughts of her.
Thoughts of breaking her, thoughts of fucking her, thoughts of just going back in time and erasing the very moment she’d stepped into my life.
I hated it.
I hated how my heart remembered everything, from the very first glimpse of her to the very last.
I remembered everything.
I remembered the sound of her laughter, how her ears turned red when she got angry, her love for the rain and how wildly happy she got every time the clouds thundered.
I still remembered the way her skin felt when I touched her, how she broke out into goosebumps every time I grabbed her by her waist, and my fingers caressed her soft skin.
The whimper in her voice when my lips touched hers.
The deep breath she took and held onto every time I entered her.
Her moans.
Her cries.
Her voice calling out my name.
I remembered everything.
Over the course of time, I tried to forget, tried to replace her with other women, but even when I was with them, all I could see was her, feel her body under mine, smell her scent of wildflowers and rain.
I fought with everything inside me, day after day, breaking myself trying to forget her.
I thought I’d finally succeeded.
But I couldn’t, not really.
Everything before or after her didn’t matter. Every affair, every relationship, every illusion of love didn’t matter if it wasn’t associated with her.
She was it for me.
I knew that much with utmost clarity.
I’d learned it the hard way, and it had taken me a lot of hardships to come to terms with the fact that my heart would only ever belong to her. But my mind, my future, my trust, they wanted nothing to do with her.
Her time in my life was done, and there was never going to be a second chance for her.
I no longer loved her. I couldn’t dare to let myself.
My heart was too stubborn to let her go.
But I was stronger than that. I was more stubborn, more determined than my weak heart.
I knew what was right for me.
It wasn’t her.
My desk phone buzzed. “Sir, Mr. Jenkins is on the line.”
I turned toward the desk and took a deep breath.
It was time. It was time to lock all my frustrations deep within me and do what I was meant to do.
My focus fought, but I somehow managed to force all my chaos down and don my self-assured composure. “Connect him in five, Linda.”
It all came back to me after the first conference for the afternoon.
I fell back into my steps, gaining back my tattered control and reminding myself what mattered.
Vienna still lingered in the background of my thoughts, but with time passing, and chairing the next two meetings, discussing what I was passionate about, I was able to keep her there in the background.
The fog over my thoughts started to clear, allowing me to see things clearly, even appreciate the many points Vienna had put forward during her presentation. I was still a little surprised and awed by her composure as she spoke. How she’d managed to work past my harsh words and her own anxiety issues to go about giving the presentation was commendable. Had she not messed up my sanity temporarily, I would’ve had the decency to appreciate her efforts.
But now it didn’t matter.
Her efforts had already been applauded. She was one of the few members travelling all over the world with us for the new project.
The thought didn’t sit well with me.
Spending time with her was the furthest thing from what I wanted to do. But with this entire restoration project, we would be working very closely together, so there was no way I could avoid her. All I could do was shield myself from her, acknowledge her presence without letting her get under my skin. I had to keep my distance and not let her break through my walls. No, that would be the worst.
Me uninhibited was the worst thing possible.
My lack of inhibitions was the very reason I’d ended up fighting with her and then grabbing her and kissing her on our third meeting all those years ago.
No, I couldn’t allow that to happen again. I had to stay guarded and keep my distance.
My phone buzzed as I drew the last line on the blueprint.
My mother had just texted me asking if I was still in the office.
Of course I was—it was only seven pm. I laughed at how well she knew me.
Me: Yes, still here, will leave in an hour. Wrapping up some drawings for the new project in Dubai.
Mom: How many times do I have to remind you to go home and have a life outside work?
I shook my head and responded.
Me: More than a hundred times, Mom, and if you always get the same answer then why bother?
Mom: Because persistence will persevere, and hopefully one day you’ll actually message me back saying you’re out, on a date, with a girl.
I sighed and almost chose not to respond. My mother, along with my cousin Melissa, was obsessed with my love life. They both wanted me to settle down. Especially when Alex had announced his engagement three months ago.
Me: Mom, I’m not interested in a relationship right now. And I date. I had a date just two weeks ago.
As I waited for her to respond, my mind wandered to Alex. Apart from his texts last night, I hadn’t talked to him in over three weeks. Yes, he emailed me regarding work, discussing potential mergers and financial changes, but never about us or anything personal. We never talked about our lives with each other anymore. The rift between us, thanks to a particular curly-haired female, had spread too wide.
Mom and Melissa had tried, and faintly succeeded, to keep us together, talking business and the occasional superficial life facts, but other than that, we were still too detached. Alex no longer saw me as his role model; instead, I was the brother who’d taken away all he’d dreamed of having. There were times I wanted to snap at him and tell him he was equally responsible for betraying the bond between us, but as time passed and the reality of our pasts came into play, my disappointment toward him started to fade. I began to realize it was neither of our faults, how we’d both been the victims of fate, and how we’d both been played by one person.
I hated that.
I hated the fact that a girl had torn apart this relationship between brothers.
I hated how, even after five years, we couldn’t see eye to eye.
My phone buzzed.
Mom: I just want you to be happy, son. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you laugh. If not me, I wish you could talk to Alex about it. I still don’t understand what happened between you, but ever since your father passed away, you both haven’t been yourselves.
I knew what she meant.
The day my father died, a part of me died along with him. It was the day I lost everything I’d held close to my heart.
My father.
My brother.
My love.
I grabbed my phone and switched off the table light.
I could no longer work on the blueprints. I needed to go home.
I needed to go for a swim and drown out the madness screaming in my head.
I needed to flush out this day and forget it ever happened.
I needed to gain back my sanity.
I grabbed my office bag and put on my jacket. I walked out of my office, texting my mom and letting her know I was heading home and that I was completely all right.
She didn’t need to know it was the furthest thing from the truth.