CHAPTER 12
Alicia
“Adam, I’ve been dreaming about these scones for so long,” I said into my phone. “You have no idea how amazing these things are.”
“Well, bring me back a few.”
“Oh, I’m bringing back a dozen!” I assured him.
“That’s the fatty I know and love!”
“Watch it,” I warned. “You know I can fire you.”
“You know you never would,” he said confidently.
I rolled my eyes and stepped farther forward as the line at Angel’s began to move.
After my encounter with Zane the day before, I needed an Angel’s fix to get my day started. I’d woken feeling younger than I had in years. Just one conversation with Zane and I was back to my old self again, vulnerable and exposed.
I hated it.
“How was the funeral?” Adam asked, snapping me back to reality.
“It was… fine,” I said and then shook my head. I tried to clear my thoughts, but images of Zane flooded my mind. I could see his smiling face the night he told me about the Savage Soldiers assignment he’d been selected for. I could see him flushing with rage just a few hours before, his dark eyes angrier than I’d ever seen them.
“Uh oh,” Adam said.
“What?”
“I know what that means.”
“Oh, really?” I said with a small chuckle. “And what does it mean?”
“It means you ran into that old flame of yours. Zack? Zane? Something like that.”
I sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling. I would never know how Adam did it, but he could always hone in on the one thing I didn’t want to talk about; it was like he had a sixth sense.
“What old flame?” I asked evasively.
Adam snorted on the other end, not buying my act. “Talk to me, sweetie,” he said, putting on his therapist voice. “Come on. Tell me everything.”
“There really isn’t much to tell. I saw Zane and I ran away. He found me. We talked. Then he ran away. The end.”
“That is so not the end. You saw Zane for the first time in years, and that’s all you have to say about it? Please.”
“Don’t push this, okay?”
“Alicia, I only do this because I love you.”
“I know you do, but—”
“And because I love you,” he interrupted, “it’s my job to help you deal with these things. But I can’t do that if you don’t talk to me.”
“What makes you think I need help dealing with it?” I demanded.
“Honey, we both know you can’t be trusted to do this on your own.”
I sighed again. “Okay. Fine.”
“Thank you.”
“Well,” I began, moving a step forward in line, “he came to my uncle’s wake. Just walked right in wearing a black suit and—”
“How did he look?”
“Handsome. Amazing, actually.”
“Swoon,” Adam cooed. “Continue.”
“He walked in, we made eye contact, and I bolted. I ran out as fast as I could. Didn’t stop running until I’d made it two streets over.”
“Why?” Adam asked, his tone suggesting I was certifiably insane.
“Because I’m chicken shit! I couldn’t face him. Not after everything…”
“But you said you talked? So did he follow you or something? Oh my god—did he actually run after you? Because that would just melt my heart.”
“No, he didn’t follow me.” I scoffed. “That’s not Zane’s style.”
“Maybe it wasn’t five years ago, but you don’t know what his style is now.”
“I guess that’s true. But in any case, he didn’t follow me. I went back to the pub and found my mom. Everyone else was gone, so I decided to walk home. He found me in the town square.”
“What did he say?”
I rolled my eyes. “Nothing important. This isn’t a love story, Adam. You aren’t going to be able to live vicariously through me on this one.”
“I refuse to believe that,” Adam said dismissively. I could almost see him waving his hand impatiently. “Well, what did he say then?”
“He said he was sorry for my loss, that it was good to see me, and that I looked beautiful… That kind of thing.”
“Swoon!”
“Don’t do that!” I said, annoyed. “He didn’t mean any of it. He was just playing into some script in his head that he’s been carrying around. He left me, remember?”
“And then he came back.”
“No. I came back. And now I’m wishing I hadn’t.” I sighed deeply and moved another step forward. It was almost my turn to order and I was ready to get off the phone with Adam, but he wasn’t done talking.
“Alicia,” he said, “listen to me, okay? Don’t let this become one of those things you don’t deal with.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You hide,” he said bluntly. “It’s what you do when things get rough. You run. You hide. You avoid. You, Alicia Joppa, are an avoider.”
“I am not.”
“You are too,” Adam insisted. “And that’s okay. I get it. You’ve had to stay strong any way you could. But maybe it’s finally time for you to let your guard down.”
“With Zane?”
“Yes, with Zane,” he hissed. “Are you telling me you don’t have any questions for him? That you haven’t thought about him once over the past five years?”
“Of course, I have, but—”
“But nothing. This is your chance, Alicia. All the unanswered questions you have—go get answers. And please, this time, don’t be mean to him.”
“How do you know I was mean to him?”
“Weren’t you?”
I closed my eyes for a fraction of a second, ashamed. “I was a total immature bitch.”
“I know,” Adam said. “So next time, be nice. Just talk to him. See what happens.”
“And you’re sure that won’t open doors that are better left locked?”
“It might,” he admitted, “but how will you know if you never take the chance to find out?”
“You’re annoying.”
Adam laughed. “Don’t I know it.”
“I gotta go. I’m next in line.”
“Don’t forget my scones! Talk soon. Love ya.” He hung up right as I stepped up to the counter.
I glanced at the display case before me, my mouth immediately watering. “I’ll have one lemon scone and one apple raisin, please,” I ordered with a smile.
“We haven’t seen you around lately,” Angel said. “How have you been, Alicia?”
“I’ve been good. Busy with work and things, but good.”
“That’s nice to hear.” She smiled kindly at me, making me remember why I loved her place. Everything felt so homey and comfortable, and the aroma of vanilla and cinnamon was so strong, you could smell it down the street. I loved it. “That’ll be $4.95,” she said.
I reached into my purse for my wallet but couldn’t find it. Confused, I wrenched the purse wide open and peered inside. I slapped my hand to my forehead, realizing I had left my wallet in my parents’ kitchen. I’d been in such a hurry to leave the house that I hadn’t grabbed it.
“Everything all right?”
“I’m so sorry, Angel,” I sputtered. “I must have left my wallet at home…”
“I got it,” a voice said from behind me. I spun around to see Zane stepping out of line and making his way toward me. “Add a small coffee to that, please Angel.”
She smiled. “You got it.”
Zane laid a ten-dollar bill on the counter and waved away his change. He then picked up his coffee and my scones, leading the way outside. By the time we stepped onto the sidewalk, I was blushing with embarrassment.
“Thank you,” I said as he handed over my bag of scones. Our hands accidentally brushed, making me blushed deeper.
“You helped me bypass the line, so technically, I owe you,” he said with a smile.
“If you say so,” I said, laughing lightly.
“You’re laughing,” he pointed out. “I guess that means you don’t hate me as much today.”
“I’m sorry about yesterday,” I said. “You just… You took me by surprise, that’s all. I didn’t think I would ever see you again. I wasn’t ready.”
“It’s okay. I probably deserved at least some hostility from you.”
I smirked. “Well yeah, just a smidge.”
Zane laughed and nervously glanced around. He shifted his feet from side to side and tucked his free hand into his pocket. When our eyes met again, I saw a glimpse of the man I once knew. His dark eyes were so deep with unspoken emotion, I couldn’t bring myself to look away.
“Listen,” he said, “Alicia, I…”
“Do you want to sit down somewhere?” I interrupted. “You know, to catch up a little bit?”
Zane smiled. “I would love that.” He gestured toward the benches across the street and I led the way, my scones gripped tightly in my shaking hands.
When we slid onto the bench, Zane took a sip of his coffee and I pulled out my lemon scone, taking a bite to avoid talking too quickly.
“So,” I said a few minutes later, “tell me everything.”