CHAPTER 30
Zane
As I walked around the back of the house that afternoon, Mr. Joppa’s words still echoed in my ears. I could still see the look on his face while he’d scrutinized me in the dim kitchen lighting. He didn’t trust me, that much was obvious. But even worse was the fact that he was right.
It was ridiculous that I hadn’t figured out some sort of plan for being in my daughter’s life. How could I have let the night pass without discussing the logistics with Alicia, knowing they would be leaving for New York soon?
How often would they come back to Savage? How many times would Alicia allow me to visit them in the city?
Questions whirled a destructive path through my brain as I stepped into the backyard. I glanced around until I saw Elizabeth running toward me. She threw her arms around my waist and grabbed my hand.
“Come on,” she said. “There’s food.”
“Sounds great, kiddo. But I need to find your mom first. Do you know where she is?”
“She’s talking to her cousin or something.” She pointed toward the back fence. I followed her finger and saw Alicia standing in front of a young woman, talking animatedly.
“I’ll be right back,” I said to Lizzy.
“Okay,” she said, and ran off to play. I made my way across the backyard, nodding and smiling at people as I passed. I recognized some, but most were strangers. It was a full-fledged Joppa reunion. There were people everywhere, but I only had eyes for Alicia.
“Hey!” she said when she saw me approaching. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I smiled and hugged her quickly. Her cousin was still standing in front of us and I didn’t want to talk with her there.
“Meg,” Alicia said, “this is Zane, Elizabeth’s father.”
“Oh my God! So nice to finally meet you!” Meg said. Her eyes lit up excitedly as she extended her hand to me.
I shook it and smiled widely. Suddenly, everything began to click into place. Hearing Alicia call me Elizabeth’s father made everything clearer.
There wasn’t anything I wanted more than Alicia and Lizzy. I already couldn’t imagine my life without the two of them in it. In that moment, I knew staying in Savage wasn’t an option. Finally, I knew what I needed to do.
“It’s nice to meet you too,” I said to Meg before turning my attention to Alicia. “Can we talk somewhere?”
“Sure.” She waved at Meg and led the way over to the garage. We slipped inside and she turned to face me with a worried expression. “What is it? Is everything okay?”
“It’s more than okay.” I smiled. “I just realized something.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
I took a step forward and grabbed her hands, holding them tightly and staring into her face, wanting to memorize the way her blue eyes looked in that moment. “I want to come with you,” I said.
“Come with me?” she asked blankly.
“To New York. I want to go with you. You and Lizzy.”
“Zane…”
“Just listen, okay? After everything that’s happened this week, I can’t stand to be away from either of you. We already agreed that I would be in Lizzy’s life, but that’s not enough. I don’t want to see her only on weekends or holidays. I want to be with her every day. I want to watch her grow up. I want to help raise her.”
Alicia smiled. “I want that too.”
“And I want you,” I added. “It’s not enough to just be Lizzy’s dad. I want to be with you too, Alicia. No matter what’s happened these past few years, that’s always been true. You are the love of my life. You’re the reason I’m here. The reason I’m still alive after everything I’ve been through. I can’t lose you again.”
“Zane.” She stepped closer to me and smiled. “I was already going to ask you to come with us.”
I laughed and lunged forward, grabbing her around the waist and lifting her into the air.