Chapter Nine

‘I love the harness, Winnie! How fab is that?’ Lisa was feeling more human than she had felt all day, even if her mind couldn’t decide whether to continue to obsess over her encounter with Flick or to panic about the fact she had agreed to meet a complete stranger for a … well, not a date. A cup of coffee. On the edge of a forest. Alone. Next week. Oh God! The more she thought about it the more it felt like a scenario she might see on a Crimewatch re-enactment –if she was ever brave enough to actually watch a full episode.

‘Well, I don’t know if it’s any good. Nicky gave it to me – said he got it from a friend who used to own a big dog. He thought it might help me with Jack being such a strong lad.’

Lisa looked up. As much as she was sure Winnie would love getting out and about by herself with Jack, she would really miss her if she were to cancel Jack’s walks. ‘I’m not that easy to get rid of you know. You start walking this handsome boy yourself and I might have to come along just to keep you company anyway!’

‘If only!’ Winnie chortled. ‘He’s too strong for me, the blighter. If he saw a cat, he’d have me over before you could say, “Bob’s your uncle.”’ Stroking Jack’s head, Winnie’s voice gave a little wobble. ‘No, my days of walking this fine lad are over, I’m afraid, despite what Nicky might think his old nan is capable of.’

Recognising the sorrow in her tone, Lisa patted Winnie’s hand, noticing her papery thin skin. She was such a formidable character in spirit; Lisa often had to remind herself that Winnie’s feisty nature belied her aging body. ‘Anyway, you don’t need to. You’ve got me,’ Lisa reminded her.

Jack tilted his head as if listening to their conversation, his wonky eyes peering inquisitively at them both.

‘Too right, my lovely, too right. But don’t worry if you don’t want to use the new-fangled harness thingamajig.’

‘Oh no! Honestly, it’s great. Jack couldn’t wiggle out of it if he tried. Not that he would, of course,’ Lisa hastily added, realising the implication of what she had said.

Jack tilted his head at her. Thank goodness you can’t speak, Lisa thought as she gave him a wink.

‘And since you’re so good with Jack, I wanted to ask you. Well, I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage.’

Lisa couldn’t imagine Winnie ever taking advantage, she owed her more than she knew for all the kindness she had shown her. ‘Anything, what is it?’

‘Will you come to church with me and Jack a week Sunday?’

Lisa did a double take; had she heard that right? ‘You and Jack? To church?’

‘Yes, there’s a pet blessing. You know, my lovely, the service in honour of St Francis of Assisi.’

Lisa really didn’t know. ‘St Francis of who?’

‘Assisi – the patron saint of animals,’ Winnie tutted. ‘Don’t they teach anything in schools nowadays? His feast day’s October 4th, mine and Stan’s – God rest his soul – anniversary.’

Lisa couldn’t help but think her life was getting slightly more obscure by the day, but she certainly wasn’t about to let Winnie down. ‘Of course, it’ll be fun.’ Or possibly a nightmare, Lisa thought. She wasn’t much of a churchgoer. She and Flick had been a couple of times when they were Girl Guides, a venture that was short-lived, as they were asked to leave after Flick smuggled cigarettes in her bedroll and they were found smoking out the back of their tent on camp. Other than that she had attended the odd wedding, a christening and, more recently, her Granny Blake’s funeral. She couldn’t imagine taking a dog into the quiet confines of a church. Not with a host of other pets around them. ‘We’ll use the harness; it’ll be fine,’ Lisa stated, attempting to convince herself as much as Winnie.

‘Ah, lovely. I asked my Nicky, but he’s busy, and I so wanted to take Jack for a blessing and to show him his dear, old dad’s grave. Makes me feel closer to Stan just being there.’

As Winnie wiped a tear from her eye, Lisa swallowed – pleased she had said yes and feeling like this trip to church was going to be even harder than she imagined.

As they changed the subject and embarked on tea and biscuits, Lisa found herself tempted to tell Winnie about her forthcoming date; not a date, just a cup of coffee! Urghh! No, she couldn’t talk about that. Winnie would get all excited and make more of it than necessary. She wanted to tell her about seeing Flick in Tesco. She needed to tell someone, it was making her head ache holding it all in. But, as she sat there, she wasn’t sure how to begin.

She had been pondering it all day, wondering why she hadn’t seized her opportunity there and then to tell Felicity how sorry she was. She’d had every opportunity to as they had stood staring at each other, but she hadn’t. She didn’t like to admit it, but Lisa was beginning to wonder if not facing the issues that were right in front of her was her thing. She had written enough articles about animal behaviour to know that in any given situation your options came down to fight or flight. It seemed her natural instinct was flight. When the going gets tough, Lisa Blake gets going! She tried not to pursue the thought, even as visions of her leaving Nathan after the prom, leaving her parents’ home, leaving behind her friendship with Flick, leaving Ben, leaving her job and leaving her life in London trailed through her head. How different might her life have been if she ever stopped running?

Not wanting to raise specifics with Winnie, whom she was pretty sure would give an honest opinion, Lisa decided to go for a more general question. ‘Winnie, do you have many regrets? In life, I mean … you know, things you wished you’d done differently.’

‘I try not to. Life’s too short for all that business.’ Noticing the sorrow that flicked across Lisa’s face, Winnie continued, ‘You know, you can only really have regrets when you die. We make our own peace, my lovely.’

‘I guess,’ Lisa pondered, processing Winnie’s words, ‘but what if it’s too late to change something? What if you left it too long?’

‘Well, you know, you can’t take back the passing of time, but until you meet your maker, well, my lovely, there’s always time to change.’ Winnie spoke slowly, seeming old and wise before she added, ‘Unless you’re talking about that Ben and then you should leave well enough alone. Some things shouldn’t be regretted; they are just good fortunes we haven’t yet recognised. Lucky escapes we don’t yet know we had!’

Lisa almost choked on her custard cream. Yes, she could rely on Winnie for an honest answer. Perhaps she should have told her about her encounter in the men’s toilets instead!

On her way home, Lisa drove past the house that Flick had lived in when they were children. It looked so different. There was a people carrier parked out the front and what had been Flick’s mum’s rose garden had been made into a driveway. Lisa was surprised to find herself saddened that the Forsters no longer appeared to live there. Not that she was going to be brave enough to knock on the door, not today, anyway, but it was just another symbol of the void that had grown between her and her once best friend. Life had moved on. They had all moved on.